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It's been a bloody week for Boston-area food purveyors. Since Monday, we've received word of two closed restaurants and two shuttered food shops. So you don't schlep all the way out to Somerville (or Brookline or Newton) only to get burned, here's whats closed this week and where you might try instead:

•The Garden City reports that the Newton Corner Applebees is no more. Do try to dry your tears. In case you're hankering for some riblets, try the Applebees in Chestnut Hill or at the Pru.
•In much more depressing news, Cantabridgia lets us know that Somerville's Kirkland Cafe is no more. The cafe's booking agent is moving to The Cantab, so head over there for the music you know and love.
•Kosher shopping in the area just got even worse, as The Kosher Blog is reporting that Beacon Kosher has closed. Guess it's all on the Butcherie now.
•Finally, in the saddest news of the week, Escar-go-go says Davis Square's La Contessa is no more. There are plenty of North End bakeries where one can buy similar goodies, but we'll miss La Contessa nonetheless.

Beautiful O Ya:
exquisite small sushi plates.
So why so empty?

Bill's Pizzeria:
so much more than just pizza.
Try the "Carnivore."

While browsing Craigslist the other day, we came across this listing for a "new South End bar and restaurant." The location? 329 Columbus Ave, the former home of the much-missed Tim's. The listing speaks of "immediate employment", and yet, when we made a valiant attempt to google the address, we found nothing except out-of-date listings for Tim's and links to a somewhat hilariously-named modeling agency. Chowhound scouring reveals that something called Coda is slated to open in the former Tim's spot (with the recipe for Tim's dearly-beloved burger!). Googling of Coda resulted only in a a website with no contact information and no working links. So what is Coda, aside from opening soon? Rest assured, we will be waiting with bated breath to find out.

New South End bar & restaurant bartenders, servers, sous chef needed [Craigslist]
Any info on Coda? [Chowhound]
Best burger in Boston ????? any successors to Tim's on Columbus Ave [Chowhound]
Coda Kitchen & Bar [Official Site]

[Photo: ENTCO International]

Oh, Sauciety!
Nadeau deconstructs for us:
ultimately meh.

Joseph's: good pizza
for hungry Wentworthians.
Subs are also great.

One of our favorite food trends of the past few years has been the re-glorification of the humble cupcake. Who doesn't love cupcakes? They combine the best aspects of cake (covered in frosting!) and muffins (hand held!) to produce a tiny piece of near-perfection. We've always preferred our cupcakes to be yellow in cake and chocolate in frosting, although every so often, we'll walk on the wild side and try lemon cake with vanilla frosting. Crazy!

Or so we thought. Recently, we've seen a few things on Slashfood that blew apart our narrow conception of the cupcake. First, there was this maple bacon cupcake with maple frosting. We don't know if you noticed what just happened there, but we said bacon. In reference to a cupcake ingredient. Bacon! Inside a cupcake! Previously, we had not known that such glorious things could happen on earth.

Then! A mere day later, those wiley Slashfoodies posted another crazy concoction: the mojito cupcake. Whoa. We are in awe at the sick genius who came up with combining our favorite bakery treat and our favorite summer drink into five or so bites. This even improves on the dinner we had last night: cupcakes and beer. (Oh! So classy!)

All these new desserts got us hankering to try some fanciful cupcakes of our own. Alas, after consulting the Find-a-Food Search, we realized that Boston is not much on newfangled cupcakes. While it's certainly not difficult to get a good cupcake (we're partial to those from the South End Buttery and Sweet Christopher's Dessert Cafe), the most adventurous cupcakes in the city seem to be the ice-cream-injected guys from Trani. Sigh. Looks like we'll have to make our own.

Maple Bacon Cupcakes with Maple Frosting [Slashfood]
Eat Your Mojitos as Dessert [Slashfood]
South End Buttery [MenuPages]
Sweet Christopher's Dessert Cafe [MenuPages]
Trani [Official Site]

[Photo: Londonist]

Blogston Proper is your thrice-weekly roundup of Hub-related food writing from all over the Internet. We read the blogs so you don't have to. But you should anyway, just to be nice.

•A successful restaurant with no plans to expand! [Newton TAB Blog]
•A burrito so good, it doesn't last long enough to be weighed for posterity! [Burrito Blog]
•A frumpy restaurant! [On Common Ground]

[Photo: Flickr: AntyDiluvian]

Boston gelato:
cold Italian treats delight
in summer's great heat.

What's up with the Dig?
Is it a double issue?
Big sigh. We guess so.

Diner's Agenda is going hog wild!

Wednesday, May 30
•Tonight looks like it's going to be a humid one. Stay out of your rapidly overheating apartment and head down to the Cava Cocktail Lounge at The Ivy for some cool jazz and a nice drink or two. Need another incentive? We have three words for you: complimentary hors d'oeuvres. [The Ivy]

Thursday, May 31
•So, we don't want to get you too excited, but we think you should know that The Blue Room will be roasting an ENTIRE PIG and serving up three other courses (with wine pairings!) besides. The madness begins at 7:00 and costs $80 (may we remind you that there will be a WHOLE PIG involved). You may reserve your spot online. [The Blue Room: Events]

We read this weekend's Globe Magazine with great interest, since there's nothing we love more than wild speculation about the future. As you might imagine, we were particularly drawn to Alison Arnett's piece about Hub dining in 2017. While we agree with many of her suggestions (Fort Point and the Seaport will become huge, Harrison Avenue is totally the new Washington Street, Filipino cuisine is on its way in), we thought of a few more trends that seem to be forthcoming.

Local Menus: Bostonians, like their counterparts in the rest of the nation, have recently begun clamoring for more local foodstuffs (see: the increasing demand for farmers' markets). We suspect it won't be long before we start seeing menus in Boston that resemble ones we've observed in New York with the source of each ingredient listed like an appendix on the bottom of the menu.

Untraditional Restaurant Rows: We agree with those Arnett mentioned, but we think there are even more restaurant rows waiting to spring up. Look for the South End-esque clusters of restaurants that have been developing in untraditional neighborhoods, such as Roslindale Square, West Roxbury's Center Street, Dorchester's Lower Mills, and Somerville's Union Square) to become dining destinations.

Mega-Chefs: We've already discussed the empire-building aspirations of Ken Oringer, Barbara Lynch, and Frank McClelland. We suspect that over the next several years, chefs that have a success with one restaurant will have increasing opportunities to build their own empires. Our bets for Boston's Next Top Chefs? Felino Samson of Pops and Copia's Anthony Caturano.

What do you think? What and where will we be eating in 2017?

Magazine [Boston Globe]
Dining (Way) Out [Boston Globe]
Pops [Official Site]
Copia [Official Site]

[Photo: Animation Art Gallery]

Here is an embarrassing story: last night, we dreamed about work. More accurately, we dreamed about blogging. In our dream, we wrote a post about onions and, ever-so-wittily titled it after a Shins song (oh, how 2002 of our subconscious!). When we woke up, we were astounded to realize that it actually wasn't a bad idea for a post after all, so, in a moment that would undoubtedly make our elementary school teachers proud, we are, quite literally, making our dreams reality.

So anyway. Onions. We recently figured out how to caramelize onions and, ever since, we've been obsessed. Tarte flambe? Delightful! Turnovers stuffed with mushrooms, goat cheese and caramelized onions? Don't mind if we do! Hell yeah, we'll take an awesome blossom! Midway through our onion obsession, however, we came to the troubling realization that, while we know there are different kinds of onions, we don't really know the differences between said varieties and, to be perfectly honest, most of the time, we guessed which type we might need for a given recipe. As you might imagine, the results were not always satisfactory. We set out to learn about the different types of onions and (insert 10:00 News voice) what we found out may surprise you.

We started reading the "Onion" entry in the truly excellent Penguin Companion to Food and, frankly, we were a bit confused. We know to use sweet onions for caramelizing and Spanish onions for sofrito, but we were at a loss for a recipe involving Bermuda onions, so we went Googling. And that's when we found it. The Cook's Thesaurus, perhaps the most useful food-related website of all time. TCT (oh yeah, we're already on an abbreviation basis) lets you look up almost any ingredient and find a reasonable substitution. Where else can you learn that if you're out of allspice, you can instead use equal parts cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg and black pepper? Or that if you're running low on sour cream, you can substitute "one cup cottage cheese plus two tablespoons lemon juice plus two tablespoons fat-free mayonnaise plus one-fourth cup nonfat buttermilk"? We're all about things that make you feel like a culinary MacGyver, so go! Check out The Cook's Thesaurus! Better yet, check it out and then leave a comment letting us know your favorite substitution.

Oh, and in case you're still curious, it turns out you can use Bermuda onions in the same manner as sweet onions.

Tarte Flambe (Onion Tart) from The James Beard House [Leite's Culinaria]
Penguin Companion to Food [Amazon]
The Cook's Thesaurus [Official Site]

Reading a Chowhound thread about the opening dates of local farmers' markets got us rather excited to start shopping in a more seasonal and local manner than supermarkets allow. According to the Federation of Massachusetts Farmers Markets, the Dewey Square, Northern Ave Bridge, Union Square and Kendall Square markets will open within the next two weeks, while the Boston City Hall, Copley Square, Central Square and Davis Square markets are all already open. Reports from Chowhound indicate that there's lettuce, spinach, arugula and rhubarb a-plenty in addition to meats and cheeses. So what are you waiting for? Run down to your local market and pick up the makings for a spinach salad (we like to use baby spinach, warmed mozzarella cheese and a mustard vinaigrette), the easiest pasta dish you'll ever make (toss linguine with pancetta, garlic, olive oil and baby arugula and top with pecorino) and rhubarb crisp. Make up for your lack of a Memorial Day barbeque by inviting your friends over for a celebration of spring's bounty (sorry, farmers markets always put us in kind of a Delicious Dish place) this weekend.

Farmers' Market Opening Date? [Chowhound]
Federation of Massachusetts Farmers Markets [Official Site]
Rhubarb Crisp with Buttermilk Ice Cream [Epicurious]

In "The $20 Challenge," we face the daunting task of eating three square meals in Boston's most expensive areas for a mere Jackson. As always, we recommend drinking water and getting your meal to go to avoid the expense of a tip.

Oh, Charles Street. Where else can you find a picturesque 7 Eleven, enough antique stores to furnish a small mansion and an epicenter of the abolitionist movement, all within a few blocks? Although a "Make Way for Ducklings"-esque walk down Charles Street can feel like a trip back in time, the prices, sadly, are firmly rooted in the present. Is it possible to spend a day antiquing and eating for a mere $20? Sure! Behold, three very fine meals on Boston's toniest street for a mere $18.00.

Breakfast: The Paramount strays from its cheap-eatin' roots after breakfast, but in the morning it offers the kind of great breakfast deal we didn't think was available outside of suburban diners anymore: two eggs, toast, homefries and coffee for $4.95. Perfect fuel for a morning spent looking at antiques and dreaming of the day you'll be able to afford such niceties.

Lunch: Don't get us wrong: we enjoy the haute pizza at The Upper Crust and Figs, but for value, nothing beats the humble cheese slice at Nino's Pizza. Enjoy a slice of cheese ($1.60) and Moretti ($3.50) in an atmosphere that may not be bright and cheery but is one of the better reminders of a homier Charles Street past. After lunch, take off for a walk around Beacon Hill to check out the gorgeous Federal rowhouses.

Dinner: With almost ten dollars left, indulge in a cheap treat: Tom Yam noodles ($7.95) from King & I. Get the spicy dish to go and wander to the nearby Esplanade to people watch. Thai food, the sun setting over Cambridge and two extra dollars in your pocket: sounds like a pretty perfect Charles Street day to us.

The Paramount [Official Site]
The Upper Crust [Official Site]
Figs [Official Site]
Nino's Pizza [Official Site]
King & I [Official Site]

[Photo: Celebrate Boston]

Diner's Agenda thinks Tuesday is the new Monday...at least this week.

Tuesday, May 29
•Did you spend this past weekend on the Cape? Did you enjoy it? Would you like it to stay the same? Put your money where your mouth is and head on down to the Cape Sea Grille in Harwich Port for tonight's dinner to benefit the Harwich Conservation Trust. The $125 ticket price includes a $65 donation to the trust and a pleasantly extravagant five-course meal. Things get underway at 6:00 and you may save your spot by calling (508) 432-4745. [Zagat]
•Let's face it: it's hard out there for a vegan foodie, mainly because that term may be an oxymoron. Tonight, however, Om helps a restricted diet brother/sister out with their vegan wine dinner at 6:30 tonight. For a mere $49, you can partake of a four course animal-product-free meal with delightful wine pairings. After all, vegans like to booze up just as much as the rest of us. Call (617) 576-2800 for reservations. [Om: Events]

•MP: Chicago was very excited about a Chi-town foodie webcast and even experimented with liveblogging.
•Back on the East Coast, MP: Philadelphia waxed rhapsodic about burgers before sharing a very special song.
•MP: San Francisco covered a food fight that rivaled NachoGate 2007 as slow-food pioneer Carlo Petrini took on the Ferry Plaza Farmers Market in a surprisingly fast-moving feud.

Although nothing can truly beat the pleasure of sitting down to an expertly prepared meal, reading about such a meal can be a close second. Here at MenuPages Boston, we're very much into food writing. A good piece of food writing, like any great book, can transport you to a place you've never been, teach you about a subject previously unknown, or inspire you to try something new. Because we are truly evangelical about great food writing, we're offering up a series of recommendations for great food books. Today, we're focusing on one of our favorite food writers, Michael Ruhlman.

As we frequently mention, we're a little obsessed with/easily influenced by food luminary Anthony Bourdain. When he mentions something or someone that we aren't familiar with in one of his books, we investigate ASAP. So when we read Bourdain's essay about traveling to Las Vegas with author Michael Ruhlman, naturally, we looked him up. We found out that not only is Ruhlman the author of our favorite persnickety cookbook, but he's also written several books about chefs. It was summer and we didn't have much to do, so we moseyed on down to the bookstore and picked up The Making of a Chef, figuring it would liven up our commute. Reader, we finished it in under three hours. For the book, Ruhlman entered the Culinary Institute of America (inarguably our country's top cooking school) and spent two years there as a student. The resulting book is well-written enough that long descriptions of making consomme are fascinating and inspiring enough that it will make you log on to the CIA's website and look at admissions requirements, even if you've never thought about being a chef before. Guaranteed.

Three years later, Ruhlman released a sequel of sorts, The Soul of a Chef. The book's first half follows ten professional chefs taking the exam to become Certified Master Chefs. The second half profiles three chefs at different stages of their careers: Brian Polcyn of Five Lakes Grill, Michael Symon of Lola Bistro & Wine Bar, and Thomas Keller owner of the French Laundry and arguably America's top chef. Once again, the book reads faster than a mystery novel and inspires you to think seriously about entering the restaurant business...or at least make something really exciting at home. Ruhlman's third book in his chef trilogy, last year's The Reach of a Chef takes on the ever-growing roles of American chefs and the concept of the celebrity chef (most helpful for those of us who can't figure out what, exactly, makes Cat Cora an Iron Chef).

Ruhlman hasn't formally announced what his next book-length project will be, but, fortunately, he has a blog to satisfy anxious readers in the meantime. So go! Run out to the bookstore on your lunch break! Start reading The Making of a Chef. We promise it will lead to a better dinner tonight!

Alfredo's Margherita Pizza [Flickr: tinymuffins]
Alfredo's [MenuPages]
Alfredo's [Official Site]

Blogston Proper is your thrice-weekly roundup of Hub-related food writing from all over the Internet. We read the blogs so you don't have to. But you should anyway, just to be nice.

•Senator Kennedy enlivens the minimum wage debate. [Bostonist]
•Local restaurateurs probably shouldn't worry that students are getting pickier...Boston's not much of a college town. [Restaurant Business Magazine Online]
•We'll say it right now: Tim Hortons is not nearly as welcome of a Canadian import as Degrassi: The Next Generation. [Metaboston]

[Photo: Flickr: fuffer2005]

Biltmore gets a B:
food is mostly quite tasty,
prices look good, too!

Schaffer lets us in
on the secret of Fleming's:
it's not that pricey.

A kind remembrance
of Gus Saunders, food critic.
He was "a nice guy."

Not only is it about to be Memorial Day weekend, but the predicted high for today is in the mid 90s! The mid 90s! It may not be summer on the calendar for three more weeks, but it's definitely already summer in our hearts and that means that we want summer food and we want it now. Our own personal definition of summer food is anything fresh, light and cool. In the summer, we crave tomato and feta salads with a metric ton of fresh basil, gazpacho by the boatload and ceviche. Especially ceviche. If you've never been lucky enough to try it, let us fill you in: ceviche is a Latin American dish (it's particularly prevalent in Ecuador, Mexico and Peru). It's composed of fish, a citrus element (most often lime juice), and (usually) some sliced onion. The citric element "cooks" the fish and the whole thing is tangy and entirely obsession-worthy. If you're as obsessed as we are, here are some of the best places in the hub to sate your ceviche longings.

•Rincon Limeno Restaurant is widely considered to be one of Boston's best spots for Peruvian food. Their ceviche comes stuffed with well-marinated shrimp and goes nicely with a side of fried yuca.
•Ceviche gets a Beyonce-esque upgrade at Great Bay, where scallops and lobster are served with champagne grapes (the champagne of grapes) and fresh mint.
•The ceviche at the ever-popular East Coast Grill & Raw Bar offers a fresh take with a fluke ceviche served with watermelon, corn nuts and tostones. What could be more summery than ceviche and watermelon, together at last? Nothing, that's what.
•Victor's offers the best ceviche mixto in town: fish, calamari and shrimp in perfect lemony harmony, served with corn and potatoes. Summer: it's on.

Rincon Limeno Restaurant [Official Site]
Great Bay [Official Site]
East Coast Grill & Raw Bar [Official Site]
Victor's [MenuPages]

In general, we try to keep this blog focused on restaurants rather than home cooking, but we would be remiss if we didn't mention that, in addition to road trip season, Memorial Day weekend marks the beginning of the grilling time of year. If, like us, you are too much of a poor schmuck to jet off to any of the towns we profiled this week, may we suggest having some friends over for a good old-fashioned Memorial Day barbeque? Keep it local with a keg of Sam Adams or Harpoon, check out this article from yesterday's New York Times about making the perfect burger from scratch (or if you're feeling less ambitious, this Chowhound discussion about where to buy pre-made burgers), and fire up the grill. We're even going to share our new favorite grill recipe with you!

As you may have figured out by now, we're unapologetic carnivores. We recently ate a hot dog wrapped in bacon, and we liked it. Lately, though, we've been on a huge veggie burger kick and we MUST tell you about the miracle of miracles we've discovered: a veggie burger that's actually satisfying. Crazy, right? Here's what you do: grill up your favorite brand of veggie burger (we're partial to the ones that don't pretend to be meat). Hell, put the bun on the grill for a second too. Rough chop some grape tomatoes (it's still too early in the season for the big guys to be good) and kalamata olives. Spread the bun with hummus, plop the burger in the middle, spread the burger with more hummus, add your tomatoes and olives plus a healthy sprinkling of crumbled feta and voila! A dinner that's totally satisfying, but feels healthy enough that you can totally down an extra scoop (or ten) of ice cream. Sweet.

For the Love of a Good Burger [New York Times]
Stores with Great Burgers [Chowhound]

Postmodern O Ya:
The Hub's "New York-iest" spot
not for faint of heart.

At Hot Tomatoes,
the name is no misnomer.
Cozy North End pie.

Memorial Day weekend (and, accordingly, summer) are right around the corner. In the spirit of the season, we'll be featuring reports on the restaurants of popular weekend getaways all week.

Three awesome things about Newport, Rhode Island:

•Its nicknames include "Queen of Summer Resorts" (like it won a damn pageant) and "America's Society Capital."
•According to the town's Wikipedia entry: "So many pirates used Newport as their base of operations that the London Board of Trade made an official complaint to the English government. The most famous pirate who made Newport his base was Thomas Tew. Tew was very popular with the locals, after one of his pirating voyages, it was reported that almost the whole town came out to greet him." (In related news: have you heard about the new pirate movie? It's rated AARR!)
•Until 1900, Newport was the capital of Rhode Island half the time, sharing the distinction with Providence. File that one under "things that can only be done in tiny states."

Not only does Newport have a bizarre and excellent history, but, between the beaches and The Breakers, its one of the most beautiful towns in New England. The food isn't half bad either. Below, a selection of some of Newport's finest dining destinations.

•Tucker's Bistro (150 Broadway, (401) 846-3449): The website for Tucker's Bistro promises that upon entering, you will be transported to a 1930s Paris bistro. Not too shabby for a trip of less than two hours from the Hub.
•Black Pearl (30 Bannister's Wharf, (401) 846-5264): The prices are a little extravagant, but the Black Pearl does have the best chowder in a chowder-crazy town.
•The White Horse Tavern (25 Marlborough St, (401) 849-3600): Want some history with your lobster roll? Head on down to The White Horse Tavern which has been continuously operating for well over three hundred years. Word to the wise: the pub menu is significantly cheaper than that of the main dining room.
•22 Bowen's (22 Bowen's Wharf, (401) 841-8884): 22 Bowen's may call itself a steakhouse, but the real attraction is its lobster rolls, which come packed to the brim with the good stuff.
•Salvation Cafe (140 Broadway, (401) 847-2620): Probably the least stuffy restaurant in Newport, Salvation Cafe is worth a trip for the manchego and bacon burger alone. We would like to meet the evil genius who came up with such a concoction, and we would like to shake his or her hand.

Needham's Sweet Basil:
Not perfect, but very good.
Portions are crazy!

Pfeiffer tries YoMa:
Burmese food is mostly great
but service is slow.

What is La Verdad?
Taqueria or a bar?
Eh, tacos are great.

Food from Summer Shack:
Jasper White grills with high heat.
It's hard not to drool.

We admit it. We're total groupies of Melissa Clark, author of both The New York Times' A Good Appetite column and the only diet cookbook for which we have any use (seriously? try the recipe for roasted chicken breast with rosemary apples. It's AMAZING). We look forward to her column in the Times every Wednesday and yesterday, as we started to read her ruminations on spinach dip, we had several thoughts in rapid succession:

1) Why did she use mayonnaise? (We have a near-pathological hatred/fear of mayonnaise.)
2) We should make spinach dip. We bet we could totally use our new favorite toy, our immersion blender.
3) Nah, too much trouble. Let's just go somewhere and order spinach dip.

If you're thinking what we're thinking, here are Boston's best places to indulge your desire for the dip.

•Elephant & Castle provides what is perhaps the area's most basic spinach dip: spinach, artichoke, and cream cheese. Intensely sticky and quite appealingly creamy.
•The dip at the Cottonwood Cafe comes with a much better than average spread of accoutrements for dipping: in addition to the inevitable tortilla chips, there are also bagel chips and fresh veggies, which lets you fool yourself into thinking you're eating a healthy snack.
•At Stephanie's on Newbury, spinach dip gets gussied up with sauteed onions, gouda, and lavash chips, making it quite the international treat.
•After reading so many menus that feel the need to inform you of the provenance of each and every item, it's a bit refreshing to read the description for the spinach dip at the Sports Depot: "Chopped spinach mixed with selected cheeses and spices." Yeah. That's right. Selected cheeses.

Summery, Smoky and Spicy: Nudging Spinach Dip Upward [New York Times]
Elephant & Castle [Official Site]
Cottonwood Cafe [Official Site]
Stephanie's on Newbury [Official Site]
Sports Depot [Official Site]

[Photo: Exclusively Food]

Blogston Proper is your thrice-weekly roundup of Hub-related food writing from all over the Internet. We read the blogs so you don't have to. But you should anyway, just to be nice.

•Urban legend or not, all we're gonna say is that there are only four Thai restaurants in Allston. [Allston Brighton Community Blog]
•Crack rhymes with snack for a reason. [Jenn Martinelli Blogging in Boston]
•Your ma might like YoMa [The Food Monkey]

[Photo: Flickr: dke72]

Learn to love vermouth!
"It doesn't have to be bad!
Really!" swears the Dig.

Witbier for Ahlströms:
Owl Creek's White Sail: quite good,
but don't garnish it.

Diner's Agenda loves Barbara Kingsolver.

Wednesday, May 23
•Hotshot restaurateur Jeffrey Fournier of 51 Lincoln hosts a dinner honoring "the noble wines of Italy", an image that for whatever reason makes us picture bottles of wine in chain armor atop horses. No such hijinx will occur at tonight's dinner (well, probably), but there will be a truly intense multicourse meal experience. Things get underway at 6:30 and tickets are $150 a pop. Call (617) 965-3100 to save your place. [51 Lincoln]

Thursday, May 24
•The description for Barbara Kingsolver's new book Animal, Vegetable, Miracle indicates that a portion of the tome deals with "the lost art of turkey sex". You heard us. See what she's on about in Cambridge tonight, where $85 gets you reserved seating at her talk at the First Parish Church in Cambridge at 6:00 and a locally-sourced dinner at UpStairs on the Square afterwards. Call (617) 661-1515 to reserve. [UpStairs on the Square: Happenings]

Memorial Day weekend (and, accordingly, summer) are right around the corner. In the spirit of the season, we'll be featuring reports on the restaurants of popular weekend getaways all week.

One last spot and then we'll get out of the Cape, we promise. But come on! Did you really think we'd let our week of summer destinations go by without mentioning Provincetown? Of course not. We love P-Town. Between the lovely scenery (of both the ocean view and the good looking gay men varieties), the pleasant beaches and the cuisine, which takes influence from both traditional New England and Portuguese food, Provincetown is easily one of our favorite local destinations. Come for local traditions like Bear Week, stay for the excellent dining, especially from the four places below.

•Ciro and Sal's (4 Kiley Ct, (508) 487-6444): Serving simple, classic Northern Italian dishes excellently prepared, Ciro and Sal's is the best kind of red sauce joint. Like many P-Town eateries, it gets jampacked during the season, but fans say its worth the wait.
•The Lobster Pot (321 Commercial St, (508) 487-0842): Touristy? Sure. Overpriced? Kind of. Awesome? Yes. Listen, you're down the Cape! Don't be too snotty to eat an old-fashioned boiled lobster with drawn butter.
•Mojo's (5 Ryder St Ext, (508) 487-3140): We have a weakness for beachside seafood shacks. We have an even bigger weakness for superb fish and chips. Thus, we have the biggest weakness for Mojo, where you can order up what some call the best fish and chips in our great state, douse them in malt vinegar and eat them by the sea. Very British, but without the terrible weather.
•Chach (73 Shankpainter Rd, (508) 487-1530): Laugh all you want at the name, but Chach (hee) serves up some of the best diner food on the entire diner-obsessed Cape. The traditional diner food is fantastic, but those who are adventurous enough to try the Mexican specialties won't be disappointed.

Although we suspect that nowadays many people probably think that "baked Alaska" is some sort of global warming watch-phrase, those two words used to immediately bring to mind a dessert thought to be the height of sophistication. A baked Alaska is a sort of cake in which a good deal of really cold ice cream is placed on a layer of sponge cake and topped with uncooked meringue. The dish is popped into the oven for just long enough that the meringue hardens, creating a dessert that is, miraculously, hot on the outside and cold in the middle. Take that molecular gastronomists! Although it has been remarked that Thomas Jefferson was rather fond of a remarkably similar dish, the dessert didn't truly catch on until the late nineteenth century when it appeared in a cookbook as "Alaska, Florida." It remained a popular dinner party dish for some time, but has fallen out of fashion in the past thirty or so years, which is a pity, since it's really quite good. Much like Indian pudding, it takes a little bit of detective work to track it down, but believe us, it's worth it. Below, baked Alaska four ways.

•Anthony's Pier 4 makes the Boston area's most traditional version of the dessert: nothing but sponge cake, ice cream, meringue, and a little bit of strawberry sauce. For maximum atmosphere, go on a slightly misty day and watch the water.
•Many speculate that an early version of baked Alaska (where the ice cream was covered by pastry rather than meringue) was invented in China, so it's only fitting that the dish gets a Chinese spin at Peking Tom's. The cake is flavored with cardamom and the ice cream features ginger and five spices. Mmm. Five spices.
•The Federalist, located in the future workplace of Buddy Cianci ups the baked Alaska ante by including not one, not two, but three kinds of ice cream (vanilla, chocolate and pistachio) and salted caramel sauce. If you've never tried salted caramel, we must encourage you to do so right this second. Yeah, we know it's 9:00 in the morning. Just do it. It's a revelation, right?
•At Oleana, the baked Alaska gets a tropical makeover with coconut ice cream and passion fruit caramel. Passion fruit caramel: even better than salted caramel? Discuss.

Anthony's Pier 4 [Official Site]
Peking Tom's [Official Site]
The Federalist [Official Site]
Oleana [Official Site]

We've always thought that Memorial Day weekend marks the beginning of summer but lately, we've been wondering if that's just a lie we're telling ourself to get through the less than idyllic current weather. Summer is coming and the more we say it, the sooner it will get here, right? RIGHT? Right. Regardless of whether our odd pseudo-superstitions have any effect or not, summer will theoretically be here soon enough and with it, a flock of exciting Boston restaurant openings. Aside from the previously mentioned Gaslight Brasserie Du Coin, here are three of the big openings for the next few weeks.

•A bit of a cheat: Sushi Teq opened in the Intercontinental Boston about a month ago, but the hype just now started pouring in. Although the name might sound like either a futuristic robot chef that prepares sushi or the gastronomical equivalent of a discotheque, the lounge-y spot takes the "teq" in its name from tequila, of which they serve an astonishing array. For those who think that raw fish and tequila sounds like a recipe for a date with the toilet, there is also a beer list.
•The BCA's new eatery The Beehive bills itself as a "neighborhood cafe des artistes". In addition to food and drink, the space will feature regular jazz, cabaret and burlesque performances. Ooh la la. Early Chowhound buzz indicates that many of the Hub's favorite bartenders have migrated to the 'Hive. Verrry promising.
•The website for Vlora has exactly nothing to say, but there's an intriguing piece in this week's Improper Bostonian (which thinks its just a little too cool to put its content online) that seems to indicate that the menu will be comprised of simple dishes inspired by chef Aldo Velaj's birthplace of Albania. The pictures accompanying the article, including one of a good-sized block of herbed feta balanced on top of a truly dreamy salad, look crazy amazing.

[Photo: Flickr: new hobby]

Let us just make one thing clear: Chipotle is no Anna's Taqueria. It's a lot more expensive, for one, and their grilled vegetables can't hold a candle to Anna's. That being said, when we're outside of Boston we eat the odd Chipotle burrito and, we must admit, we enjoy it. It's got some pleasant heat and, although it's owned by McDonald's (turns out McDonald's divested in 2006. Thanks to the eagle-eyed reader who brought this to our attention!), the meat is all naturally raised and the produce is grown in a sustainable matter. Although it probably wouldn't be in our top three places to go for a quick Mexican fix, we certainly wouldn't be sad if one opened in the Hub, especially in a neighborhood that is not currently well-served by Boston's burrito blitz, like, say Downtown Crossing.

Well, looky here! Today's Globe reports that not only is Target looking at four sites in Boston (which, incidentally, is AMAZING news), but Chipotle, which recently opened its first Massachusetts outpost in Medford, is looking to set up a branch in the D.C. Currently, Downtown Crossing's has but one major burrito option: Qdoba Mexican Grill, which, as any worker in the area can attest, is always packed to the gills. A Chipotle would go a long way towards easing the congestion. In general, we'd prefer to see a locally owned business set up shop rather than a chain, but if it's going to be a chain, we (and our tummy) is glad it's Chipotle.

Menino: Target Looking at 4 Sites [Boston Globe]
Chipotle [Official Site]
Anna's Taqueria [MenuPages]
Qdoba Mexican Grill [Official Site]

United States Representative Jim McGovern (of Massachusetts' 3rd District) and his wife Lisa spent the past week living on a food budget of $21 a week to call attention to the woeful insufficiency of food stamp allotments across the United States. They've been keeping a really interesting and thoughtful blog about their experiences and have quickly come to the conclusion that anyone who has had to live on that type of a budget is familiar with: $3 a day is simply not enough money to eat sufficiently. Admirably, McGovern refused free food at receptions and fundraisers (one of his better anecdotes is about scarfing down a tiny egg and cheese sandwich his wife brought to a fundraiser and being looked at incredulously) and instead subsisted on a diet composed of tiny meals that seem more like snacks. Although the McGoverns freely admit that this is something of a publicity stunt and that, since they knew their food stamp experiment was finite, their experience was not at all representative of what a truly hungry person goes through every day, their realizations were fascinating and affecting. Not only were they permanently hungry, if not starving, but they also found that it was impossible to eat in the healthy manner to which they were accustomed.

Perhaps more interesting than the blog itself, however, are the comments left by readers. While some are extremely critical of the project (either from people critical of the project's short duration or from folks wildly ignorant about the purpose of food stamps), most were supportive and offered tips from their own experiences with poverty. It's fascinating reading and completely infuriating. There is no earthly reason why we as a country can't make sure that everyone has enough to eat. None. Rep. McGovern, along with fellow Food Stamp Challenge participant Republican JoAnn Emerson of Missouri, is pushing to expand food stamp benefits which are tied up with, wait for it, the Farm Bill. We realize that we spend most of our time on this blog encouraging you to eat outrageously delicious and expensive things like sweetbreads, but we recognize that part of having the privilege of being able to afford such goodies is helping out those who can't. Political activism is even better than offal. Contact your legislators and let them know how you feel.

Congressman Jim McGovern [Official Site]
Congressional Food Stamp Challenge [Official Site]
Project Vote Smart [Official Site]

Memorial Day weekend (and, accordingly, summer) are right around the corner. In the spirit of the season, we'll be featuring reports on the restaurants of popular weekend getaways all week.

Fact: In 1977, Nantucket (along with Martha's Vineyard) tried to secede from Massachusetts. Civil war did not follow. Fact: Almost 85% of Nantucket County is covered by water. Fact: Nantucket is widely considered to have one of the best restaurant scenes in New England. Conclusion: Nantucket is awesome. Eating in Nantucket isn't cheap (the island has far fewer good affordable options than the Vineyard), but it can provide many rewarding dining experiences. Below, five of your best bets.

•The Club Car (1 Main St, (508) 228-1101): The Club Car (so named because its lounge area is, in fact, in a railroad car) is a local favorite. The menu features an ever-rotating array of French-inspired food, including a positively legendary crabcake.
•The Galley on Cliffside Beach (54 Jefferson Ave, (508) 228-9641): The Galley on Cliffside Beach features both Nantucket's best location (it's the island's only restaurant actually on the beach) and the best traditional New England food. All the dishes are made with screamingly fresh seafood and local produce (much of which is grown in the restaurant's own garden). Lobster and ocean views: what could be more perfect?
•Sfoglia (130 Pleasant St, (508) 325-4500): Sfoglia has won rave reviews in both the original Nantucket location and their offshoot in New York City. The restaurant serves up simple Italian dishes done immaculately. Bonus: they offer half-portions of all their exemplary pastas, thereby enabling diners to enjoy a traditional Italian multicourse meal without feeling disgustingly full.
•Company of the Cauldron (5 E. India St, (508) 228-4016): Company of the Cauldron (named for a Renaissance-era cooking academy) provides a truly unique dining experience. Each night the restaurant offers one multicourse menu for all diners. Though the menu may change entirely from night to night, the dishes remain classic, fresh and locally inspired. Best of all, at an average price of a little under $60, the dinners are a steal.
•The Downyflake (18 Sparks Ave, (508) 228-5433): Head to The Downyflake for Nantucket's best breakfast. The donuts are homemade and have achieved cult status. Really, what more do you need to know?

Every once in a while, a perfect storm of YouTube goodness comes our way and we simply must pass it along. This is one such clip. Witness, o dear reader, Harvard students. Dressed like Le Tigre. Rapping. About Felipe's Taqueria. You're welcome.

Felipe's Taqueria [MenuPages]
Harvard Students Like to Rap Apparently [Cantabridgia]
Felipe's Is Over There by The Low Res [YouTube: jeffbro779]

Blogston Proper is your thrice-weekly roundup of Hub-related food writing from all over the Internet. We read the blogs so you don't have to. But you should anyway, just to be nice.

•What, like you've never accidentally stolen upwards of fifty tortillas? [Everyone Loves a Boston Girl]
•Suspicious dim sum in Watertown. [dim sum times]
•A day of good eating in Nantucket. [Minty Choco Chip]

[Photo: Flickr: Fuffer2005]

Memorial Day weekend (and, accordingly, summer) are right around the corner. In the spirit of the season, we'll be featuring reports on the restaurants of popular weekend getaways all week.

Martha's Vineyard has the rare distinction of totally living up to its hype. It's gorgeous, there's enough to do that you're never bored, and it's mellow enough that you don't feel as though you need a vacation from your vacation. Although laying out on the beach, hitchhiking, riding on the Flying Horses, and snickering every time someone says "Gay Head" are entertaining diversions in and of themselves, no trip to the Vineyard would be complete without sampling some of the island's excellent food offerings. Below, five of the best bets for a wide range of prices.

•L'Etoile (22 N. Water St, Edgartown, (508) 627-5187): L'Etoile is widely considered to be the Vineyard's top destination for haute cuisine. Chef Michael Brisson (formerly of L'Espalier) turns out consistently excellent French-inspired dishes. They don't come cheap, but devotees swear they're worth every penny.
•The Sweet Life Cafe (63 Circuit Ave, Oak Bluffs, (508) 696-0200): The Sweet Life Cafe is the Vineyard's answer to Chez Panisse. Head down to the gorgeous Victorian house that houses the restaurant and munch on an ever-evolving menu of gourmet classics made from impeccably sourced local ingredients. As you might imagine, the seafood entrees are especially excellent.
•Art Cliff Diner (39 Beach Rd, Vineyard Haven, (508) 693-1224): This tiny breakfast and lunch joint manages to feel like home the first time you walk through the doors. The atmosphere is perfect, the servers are great, and we're still salivating over the goat cheese and fig concoction we had there two years ago. The food is just that good.
•Lattanzi's Pizzeria (Old Post Office Sq, Edgartown, (508) 627-9084): Fine dining is all well and good, but sometimes you just want a good old-fashioned pie, you know? Fortunately, Lattanzi's is around to satisfy all your pizza yearnings.
•The Bite (29 Basin Rd, Menemsha, (508) 645-9239): You didn't think a list of great dining in Martha's Vineyard could be complete without a seafood shack, did you? The Bite boasts the best fried clams on the island. Get an order of fried clams or fish and chips and walk it over to the beach. On a summer evening, things can't get much better than that.

Diner's Agenda is resting up tonight in order to be ready for tomorrow.

Tuesday, May 22
•Peace Games is an organization that helps children develop their peacemaking skills. Peace Rocks is an event to benefit Peace Games. Here's why you care (aside from the simple fact that everyone likes a peaceful child): you can help the organization while listening to great bands and tasting plates from local luminaries like Aquitaine Bis, Copia and Osushi. The party gets underway at 6:00 and tickets, which cost $150, may be purchased online. [Boston Chefs]
•Could there be anything cuter than a husband-and-wife winemaking team? We strongly suspect that it doesn't get much dearer than that, but you can see for yourself when UpStairs on the Square hosts Sandra Bell who, along with her husband Anthony, owns Bell Wine Cellars. Her presentation will be accompanied by a four-course dinner (with wine pairings, naturally), which includes such delicacies as a walnut tart with blue cheese cream. $65 gets you access to the whole thing, but you'd better hurry up and call (617) 864-1933 because the dinner is thisclose to sold out. [UpStairs on the Square: Happenings]

Chowhound is all agog over the news that L'Espalier is planning to trade its signature townhouse on Gloucestor Street for a flash new place in the Mandarin Oriental Boston. The announcement comes hot on the heels of L'Espalier chef Frank McClelland's Best Chef: Northeast win at the Beard awards and many 'Hounders speculate that the move is part of a larger bid by McClelland to become a food celebrity a la Todd English. This rumor is further fueled by the sudden and vast expansion of the McClelland-owned Sel De La Terre, which has two new branches slated to open in the next year: one alongside L'Espalier in the Mandarin Oriental and one in the "Natick Collection" (by the way: is that really what we're calling the Natick Mall these days?).

Predictably, opinion about L'Espalier's move is decidedly mixed. While many lament the loss of the Back Bay townhouse and the singular dining experience it provided, others are excited to see what happens when McClelland and company spread their culinary wings in a larger space. While L'Espalier's food has always been near-perfect, it's certainly no secret that seating in the current spot is tight and kitchen space is cramped to say the least. Aside from their obscenely well-priced lunch, L'Espalier has always been more than a little bit our of our price range, so we're mostly just curious about what will take its spot on Gloucester Street. No rumors are flying yet, but we're willing to bet that we'll start hearing some within the next month or so. In the meantime, if you want to enjoy one last McClelland meal in the townhouse, you have approximately a year. L'Espalier moves to Boylston next summer.

L'Espalier [Chowhound]
L'Espalier Set For Entree on Boylston [Boston Globe]
L'Espalier [Official Site]
Sel De La Terre [Official Site]

This weekend's awful weather notwithstanding, we've been getting prepared for summer. We've spent endless unproductive hours debating whether to buy a new bathing suit even though we hate swimming, used our immersion blender to make pesto (our ultimate summer food) and begun dreading the return of ice cream trucks. Don't get us wrong. We adore ice cream, most especially ice cream sandwiches and most especially ice cream sandwiches from ice cream trucks. What kills us about said trucks is their terrible, terrible music. Although the ice cream truck near us plays some sort of truncated version of "Turkey in the Straw" and will probably be responsible for the eventual loss of our damn mind, really, nothing beats the Somerville ice cream truck that plays "Send In The Clowns".

It's quite the pity that neither our neighborhood truck nor the Somerville one seem to have heard about Songs For Ice Cream Trucks. This solo album from Michael Hearst of adorkable band One Ring Zero is, as its title implies, composed exclusively of songs for ice cream trucks to play in lieu of their current jangly jingles. The idea sounds a mite precious, and, truthfully, the output is a touch twee, but it's also inordinately charming. It sounds like summer, but like a more idyllic summer than any we've experienced. We're especially fond of the opening track "Ice Cream", which is now stuck in our head every time we open a pint of Phish Food. We dare you to watch this video of Hearst getting ready to wheel an ice cream cart to a show and not get childishly excited.

We'd like to make an official petition to our friendly local ice cream truck operator: please please please buy this album. We just don't know if we can handle another season of "Turkey in the Straw."

We All Scream For Ice Cream [ReadyMade Blog]
Songs For Ice Cream Trucks [Official Site]
One Ring Zero [Official Site]
Michael Hearst: Songs For Ice Cream Trucks: Ice Cream Truck [YouTube: oneringzero]

Blogston Proper is your thrice-weekly roundup of Hub-related food writing from all over the Internet. We read the blogs so you don't have to. But you should anyway, just to be nice.

•Gridskipper revives our post on the state foods of Massachusetts with a guide on where to buy them. [Gridskipper]
•Warning: awful pickup lines have been spotted at Vox Populi. [Everyone Loves A Boston Girl]
•If it doesn't have a fresh mouth, it isn't legal. [Universal Hub]

[Photo: Flickr: NorJon]

•MP: Chicago let us know that there's nothing lowbrow about carbonated wine and validated our lifestyle by informing us of a study that claims that beer has more protein than milk.
•MP: Philadelphia knows what goes well with beer: burgers.
•MP: San Francisco has been thinking a lot about San Francisco Cocktail Week and getting ready for the return of the green fairy.

Diner's Agenda loves a good prom.

Friday, May 18
•Tonight's chocolate meetup, hosted by the fine people of Temper Chocolates, will be investigating high-end chocolates from low-end retailers. It's the gastronomical equivalent of wearing a Diane Von Furstenberg knockoff from H&M. The tasting gets underway at the Hotel Commonwealth at 7:00 and costs a mere $10. Register online to save your space. [Chocolate Meetups]

Saturday, May 19
•We have a confession to make: sometimes, we wear our prom dress while we clean our apartment or watch TV. It's so pretty and it wasn't cheap and we just feel like it should get some more wear, you know? Thankfully, a more legitimate prom-apparel-wearing opportunity than a marathon of The Hills has arrived, in the form of the Boston Prom at Vinalia. Bust out your formalwear, relive your glory days or create way better prom memories than the ones you have from the first time around. Things get underway at 8:00 and ticket prices range from $75-$125 and may be purchased online. [Boston Prom]

Sunday, May 20
•Really, is there anything better than a Sunday afternoon beer tasting? We think not. Mosey on down to Cambridge Common for a tasting of white and light (as in color, not as in Natty) beers, snacks and what is advertised as "a full pint of education." Yummy. Show up at 3:30, bring $23 and prepare to eat, drink and be very merry. [Weekly Dig: Events]

Punjab Palace: B.
"Indian-food royalty"
from I.Q. owners.

Ron Abell has moved
from Icarus to Fenway:
lobster rolls sound good.

Bouchee's Tim Partridge
enjoys his celery root
and makes a mean chop.

There's no quicker way to establish your cred as a foodie than to proclaim a love for offal, the organ meat so derided by the squeamish but embraced by many of the world's most delectable cuisines. Sure, the idea of eating the innards of an animal may not sound appetizing, but it can be a rare treat. Sweetbreads (the term refers to both the thymus glands and pancreas of very young animals) are a good introduction into the world of offal, since they: a) don't look like innards (as opposed to, say, tripe, sweetbreads mostly look like little morsels of chicken) and b) they taste amazing. Below, a list of the best places in Boston to indulge in the gateway offal.

•KO Prime,the brand-new eatery from local superstar Ken Oringer, serves their crispy veal sweetbreads as haute McNuggets with honey, cinnamon and apricots on the side. At $15, it's a little pricier than your average Happy Meal, but we promise it'll be worth it.
•The menu at Les Zygomates simply says that the sweetbreads are sauteed "aux chataigne", which means "with chestnuts". A call to the kitchen revealed that they are, in fact, dredged in chestnut flour, sauteed in canola oil and butter and served on a bed of wild mushrooms, truffle oil and chicken dshfkjsdhk. Sorry. We just collapsed onto the keyboard in a moment of extreme food lust. That was meant to be "chicken sauce".
•Sweetbreads get a Mediterranean twist at Shine, where they're served with braised baby artichokes, olives, feta and a caper emulsion. Perfect for spring!

KO Prime [Official Site]
Les Zygomates [Official Site]
Shine [Official Site]

[Photo: thekua.com@rest]

MenuPages Chicago [MenuPages]
The Walking Table [Flickr]
Oishii [MenuPages]
Oishii [Official Site]

Yesss! Sasha Pfeiffer!
Tartufo at the Brickyard
"flirts with excellence."

East Asia: dumplings
homemade and so authentic.
Better than entrees.

Reincarnation
has not been kind to The Swan.
It's "antiseptic."

Marco Pierre White
must be called a "bad boy chef"
in every story.

We don't know what is up with the sudden preponderance of stories about sexism in the food world, but it's really getting a bit ridiculous. Today's entry in what is rapidly becoming Sexism Week here at MenuPages Boston comes from yesterday's New York Times. Keith McNally, the Morandi owner who earlier accused Times critic Frank Bruni of being "unremittingly sexist", had a letter in yesterday's paper that was, essentially, a much more toned down version of the screed he had sent to New York food blog Eater. Whereas his earlier missive featured strong language such as "[The New York Times'] message, through Frank Bruni, is loud and clear: If you're a woman and talented, the one place you'd better get out of - and fast - is the kitchen" and "In Bruni's powerful and untouchable world these chefs are women first and professional chefs a long, long way second. How else to explain his record?", the letter published in The Paper of Record simply says "This is not to suggest that Mr. Bruni is biased against giving female chefs a fair shake. Only that statistics do not necessarily suggest otherwise." Come on, Keith! That's no fun!

We're inclined to agree with the camp that suggests that McNally is suffering from a severe overabundance of sour grapes. While his accusations do sound damning (although certainly less so when one considers the actual number of female chefs helming the type of restaurants Bruni is likely to review), they'd be a lot more interesting coming from someone who didn't have an ax to grind. All the same, we really are taking pleasure in watching this feud unfold. Your move, Mssr. Bruni. Your move.

Letters [New York Times]
Keith McNally: Bruni has "unremittingly sexist" slant [Eater]
Sour Grapes And Convenient Femiladyism: Frank Bruni Hates Ladies, Claims Crazy McNally [Gawker]
McNally on Bruni, II: Keith Offers More Evidence of Sexism, Times Prints Letter [Eater]
Is McNally's Allegation of Bruni's Sexism Sexist? [Gawker]

Green Street Grill changes:
it's gone local, seasonal.
The result? It works.

Dough in Maverick:
there's "little [they] can't whip up."
Good food, bland aura.

The ever-enjoyable Gridskipper posted a roundup of Boston's best happy hours yesterday. They highlighted some great bargains (we're definitely going to try the special at Noir, which was also mentioned in this week's Dig), but left out one big piece of information: to the great dismay of those Bay Staters who enjoy a cheap tipple, happy hours are technically illegal in the great state of Massachusetts.

Massachusetts abolished happy hours in 1984 in an attempt to limit drunk driving. Although the vast majority of Massachusetts residents know that it's illegal to offer specials on drinks, many are not familiar with the more arcane provisions of the law. The happy hour law not only prevents bars and restaurants from offering discounted drinks during certain days or hours, but it also prohibits open bars at anything except private events (yet another reason that New Year's Eve is difficult in the Hub), giving any patron more than two drinks at one time, and (in what is clearly the law's most sensible provision) serving pitchers of beer or mixed drinks to individuals. Interestingly, although the law's stated purpose was to reduce drunk driving, the number of fatalities involving alcohol and cars didn't drop dramatically until 1991, seven years after the law passed. As a fan of both cheap drinking and responsible alcohol consumption, we'll pine for a day when Massachusetts allows us to do both at the same time. Until that day (which, we're willing to admit is most likely the neverteenth of Nevuary, two thousand and nevern), we can at least take comfort in the fact that our liquor laws are less weird than those of Pennsylvania.

Boston's Best Happy Hours [Gridskipper]
"Happy Hour" Ban Starts In Massachusetts [New York Times]
Notice to All Local Licensing Authorities [Mass.gov]
Massachusetts Drunk Driving Statistics [Alcohol Alert!]
Pennsylvania Liquor Laws Explained [MenuPages Philadelphia]

[Photo: Neon Boston]

Blogston Proper is your thrice-weekly roundup of Hub-related food writing from all over the Internet. We read the blogs so you don't have to. But you should anyway, just to be nice.

•The strawberries from the Market Basket are really, really good. [pasquinade]
•If you drew a Venn diagram of "Red Sox Fans" and "Poor Tippers", there would be a lot of people in the middle circle. [Sausage Cook]
•New England Soup Factory is a chain that's actually good! [Brookline TAB Blog]

[Photo: Flickr: sawrah]

So, the fact that JP Licks is giving away free coffee all day tomorrow is such old news that we've already mentioned it two times. Even though we are truly, madly, and deeply enamored of free things, we would ordinarily not mention tomorrow's promotion a third time. But! But! We've just learned about an exciting new development. The Globe is reporting that if you go to Free Coffee Day at JP Licks tomorrow, you will be rewarded with a Free Iced Coffee Card. Anytime the temperature climbs to 81 degrees or above (the temperature is in honor of the first shop's opening year of 1981), you can present your card for a free cup of iced coffee. If you, like us, are iced coffee fans, that's a tremendous steal for the summer, particularly if you live and/or work near one of the shop's seven locations. Yeah. It's going to be a goood summer.

JP Licks [MenuPages]
JP Licks [Official Site]
Chain to Offer Free Coffee--If The Weather's Hot [Boston Globe]

Diner's Agenda is duly charmed by Parisian cookbooks.

Wednesday, May 16
•Get a head start on the tourist season by heading down to Nantucket for the annual Nantucket Wine Festival, which starts tonight and goes through Sunday. Tickets range from $50 for the most inexpensive events to $525 for the all-access Grand Cru pass. Tonight's opening reception is sold out, but tickets, which cost $75, are still available for the 7:00 "Where's The Beef?" food and wine tasting, featuring chef Chris Schlesinger of East Coast Grill & Raw Bar. Call (508) 288-1128 for tickets. [Nantucket Wine Festival]
•Clotilde Dusolier's blog Chocolate & Zucchini is one of the best-written and most endearing food blogs out there. The Parisian Dusolier will be making her way stateside to promote her new cookbook and she'll be making two stops in Boston. The first is tonight at Chez Henri, where for $75, you can join the author at dinner. Call (617) 354-8980 to save your seat. [Chocolate & Zucchini: Book Tour Events]

Thursday, May 17
•JP Licks is offering free (hot or iced) coffee all day at all of its locations. You know what to do with this information. [JP Licks]
•In case you can't make Clotilde Dusolier's booksigning dinner at Chez Henri, she's holding another event at 6:30 at The French Library. Tickets range from $15-20 and there will be food. Call (617) 912-0400 to reserve. [Chocolate & Zucchini: Book Tour Events]

A guide to cheap eats
during fake happy hours:
bargains to be had!

A gluten-free beer:
Shakparo from Africa.
Good for celiacs.

After reading yesterday's entry about Indian pudding, a friend told us that the post had made her think of one of the stranger historical events that she remembered learning about as a child: the great Boston molasses flood. We were ashamed to admit that we only had a vague recollection of hearing about it on a long-ago field trip to the North End. Feeling chastened, we checked out the Wikipedia entry for the incident and all we have to say is, in a manner not unlike Joey Lawrence on Blossom, whoa! The Boston molasses flood is, perhaps, history's weirdest disaster.

On January 15, 1919, a tank at the Purity Distilling Factory on Commercial Street was holding over two million gallons of molasses, the sweet and sticky syrup that is a byproduct of sugar-making. With no warning save for a brief noise that witnesses reported sounding like a machine gun, the tank exploded sending a tidal wave of molasses between eight and fifteen feet tall through the North End. A tidal wave of molasses! Almost 160 people were injured and 21were killed from asphyxiation in the molasses. Although we've never noticed it, some claim that the North End still smells of the sticky sweet stuff.

Say what you will about the North End (touristy! overpriced!), but at least these days, you can walk around without getting drowned in a sugar byproduct. Ah, progress.

Boston Molasses Disaster [Wikipedia]
Without Warning, Molasses in January Surged Over Boston [Eric Potpischil's Molasses Disaster Pages]

Good news: Häagen Dazs is offering free scoops today!

Bad news: You only get two flavor choices.

Good news: The flavors are cinnamon dulce de leche and sticky toffee pudding.

Bad news: The giveaway is only happening between 4:00 and 8:00 tonight.

Good news: It's only 5:00!

Bad news: The only two Häagen Dazs in the Boston area are at the Burlington Mall and the Natick Mall.

Good news: Tomorrow Thursday (sorry!), JP Licks is giving away free coffee all day...and it's much more convenient.

New Flavor Day [Häagen Dazs]
JP Licks [MenuPages]
JP Licks [Official Site]

[Photo: Flickr: selva]

"Help! I'm Trapped In..." is a semi-regular feature where we tell you how to make the most of being stuck in areas that are (fairly or not) regarded as culinary wastelands. You're welcome.

We are absolutely nuts for punctuality. We believe that "on time" means "five minutes early" and that a profuse apology is necessary atonement for arriving ten minutes late. We also have somehow never quite gotten the knack of knowing how long it takes to get from one place to the other. These character traits combined mean that we regularly show up at the airport hours before our flight is scheduled to depart. The good news is that Logan is much nicer than it used to be back in the day when Au Bon Pain was the best dining option. The bad news is that it's still an airport. If you're stuck at Logan, however, don't worry! You won't starve. Logan may not be a dining destination, but things are not nearly as glum as they seem.

•If you're in Terminal A, you've won the food sweepstakes....at least, as long as you like fish. There's a LTK outpost, but we prefer the quaint and tasty Summer Shack branch (there's also a Summer Shack Express if you're a little more pressed for time). A lobster and a pint sounds good enough that you won't even be annoyed when your plane sits on the runway for an hour. Okay. You'll be less annoyed.
•Your best bet in Terminal B is also seafood-centric. Avoid the Fox Sports Sky Box and head for the relative calm of Legal Sea Foods. As you're enjoying a bowl of lobster bisque and a glass of wine, you'd be forgiven for forgetting that you're in an airport at all.
•We're usually all about eating a full meal before flying, but dude. DUDE. There's a Dale & Thomas Popcorn in Terminal C. They only serve their popcorns in giant-sized portions, so get the white chocolate and peanut butter popcorn and settle down at your gate with a copy of Us Weekly. Trust us, you'll be happy as a clam.
•Why is there no Terminal D?
•Logan is really coming up in the airport world, but there are certain immutable facts about this universe and one is that the food options in Terminal E will always be appalling. Unless you feel like taking this opportunity to indulge your fast food cravings, your best option is to try to make a run for it. Santarpio's Pizza, our vote for best in Boston, is less than a ten minute walk away. Settle in for a plain pie and a plate of their unbelievable sausage. You might even have leftovers to take on the plane. Mmm. Leftovers.

[Photo: The Airchive]

Hot on the heels of New York restaurateur Keith McNally's allegations of sexism against New York Times critic Frank Bruni comes a story from another Times (and, frankly, another time). The London Times ran a story last week alleging that the differences in the ways men and women cook are so strong that many foodies can tell the difference as soon as they see a dish. The article claims that women are more nurturing and into simpler (and, it is implied, less palate-challenging) dishes, while men are aggressive and experimental. It's difficult not to read the argument as misogynistic. There's a basic deterministic slant to the piece that implicitly states that women are more retiring and timid while men are brilliant expanders of the culinary world.

Things get even more outlandish when the Times puts this idea to the test by asking two chefs, one male and one female, to prepare two courses of food for a panel of experts who then guesses which dishes were made by which chefs. During a debate about the main courses ("roast Anjou squab pigeon with sage and potato fritter, seared foie gras and madeira jus, garnished with baby broad beans vs. a baby vegetable tagine with spicy harissa yogurt and flatbread."), one of the (male) panelists claims not only that a woman would never cook pigeon and foie gras together ("there's loads of testosterone-driven oomph in the flavors"), but that the dish's garnish of garlic chips is the absolute proof that the dish was made by a man. "A woman wouldn't want that full-on garlic flavor in her mouth!" Really? REALLY?

Even if one ignores the blatant sexism of many of those cited in the piece, however, the basic premise is simply not correct. San Francisco chef and blogger Brett Emerson is surprised to learn that he, apparently, cooks like a girl, and mentions a startling variety of chefs who don't conform to the gender norms set by the Times. Even just within the Boston restaurant scene, it's incredibly easy to find counterexamples. Sure, Jody Adams' cooking at Rialto is beautifully restrained, but so is Ken Oringer's food at Clio. Jorge Lopes is rightly acclaimed for his aggressive flavor profiles at The Blue Room, but so is Barbara Lynch at No. 9 Park. Come to think of it, there isn't much that's too delicate about the whiskeyed calf's liver with smoked bacon buttered grits at Lydia Shire's Locke-Ober. Huh. You don't say.

Sex on a Plate (And Do We Even Care?) [Chow]
Sex on a Plate [London Times]
Male and Female Dishes: The Acid Test [London Times]
I Cook Like A Girl [in praise of sardines]

We love our job. We read about food and we write about food and really, who gets paid to do this? Apparently us and we're very happy about it. We want you to be similarly happy in your job, so we scour the food/beverage/hospitality section on Craigslist to see if there's anything you might be interested in and that's how we came across this gem. BuyYourFriendADrink.com is expanding into the Boston area and they're seeking a City Development Manager.

We'll be honest here: as interested as we are in finding you The Job Of Your Dreams, we're maybe more fascinated by the BuyYourFriendADrink.com concept. The theory seems to be that if you had a friend who was celebrating something and you could not be there for said celebration, you could log onto the site and "buy" her or him a drink. Your friend would then get an email which they could print out and bring to one of the dozens of participating bars, where they could redeem it for a free drink (or several free drinks, depending on the size of the gift). Basically, it's just gussied up gift certificates for bars, which is nowhere near as cool as what we thought it was, namely a service that allows you to send a drink over to your friend when he or she is out at a particular bar. We'll be interested to see if this catches on in the Hub. It's not something we would use (we prefer the low-tech "rain check" method when we can't attend a celebration), but we could certainly see it catching on with college kids and becoming to turning 21 what gift certificates to Newbury Comics were to turning thirteen. Who knows? Maybe this is a golden opportunity.

City Development Manager: BuyYourFriendADrink.com [Craigslist]
BuyYourFriendADrink.com [Official Site]

Between jimmies and Indian pudding, Boston has more than its share of politically incorrect food names. Though you might take umbrage with the name, it's hard to argue with the fact that Indian pudding is really pretty awesome. The very New England dish (it never quite caught on in the rest of the country) is a sort of porridge of cornmeal and scalded milk sweetened with molasses. It's served hot and topped with ice cream. It's hyper-simple yet incredibly rich and delicious. Sadly, it's fallen out of fashion in the past few decades, but we used the sheer magic of the MenuPages Find-a-Food search to find three restaurants where you can still indulge your retro craving.

•Anthony's Pier 4 is certainly not Boston's hippest restaurant, but there's something charmingly traditional about it and frankly, we'd be pretty sad if they started serving foie gras cappucinos next to the baked lobster Savannah. Its traditionalism makes it an ideal place to enjoy a semi-forgotten dish like Indian pudding.
•No one would argue that Durgin Park isn't touristy, but that doesn't preclude it from being pretty enjoyable at the same time. They limit themselves to New England classics and they do them well. Their substantial baked Indian pudding is a steal and a half at just $3.95.
•Come to Union Oyster House for the Indian pudding, stay for the history.

Find-a-Food Search [MenuPages]
Anthony's Pier 4 [Official Site]
Durgin Park [Official Site]
Union Oyster House [Official Site]

[Photo: Roadfood]

Blogston Proper is your thrice-weekly roundup of Hub-related food writing from all over the Internet. We read the blogs so you don't have to. But you should anyway, just to be nice.

•Lynn, Lynn, city of sin. Also: fine dining. [Boston Restaurant Talk]
•Were the food at Shabu Village to be a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors, Taiwanese dim sum would be rock and shabu shabu would be paper. [Minty Choco Chip]
•Sometimes it takes you three years in a neighborhood to realize that the restaurant down the block is really, really good. [Platinum Elite]

[Photo: Flickr: kharied]

An article in Saturday's Globe revealed that Brookline is seriously considering banning trans fats from city restaurants and schools at its May 29 town meeting. This move would put Brookline, which banned smoking in bars and restaurants a full eleven years before Massachusetts did so on a statewide basis, ahead of the national curve once again. Trans fats (artificially-manufactured oils) have been under fierce fire since a 2006 article in the New England Journal of Medicine stated that they can cause "considerable potential harm, but no apparent benefit" and reduce good cholesterol while upping the bad kind. New York and Philadelphia have already banned trans fats in restaurants and schools and the Massachusetts legislature will debate a statewide ban this summer.

We're all for eliminating or reducing artificial foodstuffs and god knows we're really not inclined towards libertarianism, but we see a big issues with banning trans fats outright. Some things just taste better with a dab or two of Crisco. Dunkin Donuts has been wrestling with the question of how to make tasty donuts without using trans fats since 2004 and still has not come up with a solution. While items that are usually fried in oil containing trans fats could be fried in other substances, the transition is not unproblematic. We love olive oil, but some items just don't take to it. You could also fry things in butter or animal fat, but then you'd be excluding vegetarians and vegans as well as quite possibly those who keep kosher or halal and Hindus. If we had our druthers, trans fats would be banned in schools (since there's really no reason school meals should be as wildly unhealthy as they currently are) and incentives would be offered to restaurateurs to eliminate trans fat from their menus without being forced to do so. If you're a Brooklinian and you have strong opinions either way about the ban, make plans to hit up the town meeting on May 29 at 7:00 at Brookline High. Bonus! If you attend, you can also find out why Brookline is allocating almost sixteen million dollars to improvements on Town Hall.

Brookline Donuts and French Fries Might Taste Different [Bostonist]
Brookline Considers Trans Fat Ban [Boston Globe]
Trans Fat Could Be Banned From All Brookline Restaurants [Brookline Tab]
Trans Fat [Wikipedia]
Annual Town Meeting Warrant [Town of Brookline]

Diner's Agenda likes to hula.

Monday, May 14
•It's time once again for our pick for Best-Titled Event, Piattini's Class In a Glass wine tasting series. Tonight, they'll be looking at wines of New Zealand. We imagine there will be some really excellent Sauvignon Blanc. Class is in session from 6:00 at the Columbus Ave location and tuition is $40. Call (617) 423-2021 to save your place. [Piattini]

Tuesday, May 15
•We're not entirely sure why the Barking Crab, a quintessentially Bostonian restaurant, is hosting a Hawaiian luau, but we do know that there will be free food and drinks and you know what we like? Free food. And drinks. Things get underway at 6:00 and you can gain admission for you and a guest by emailing rsvp@stuffatnight.com. [The Barking Crab]

Two discussions of the recently-opened Ligurian eatery Rocca on Chowhound have raised an interesting issue. At what point is it fair to stop chalking up issues with service and/or food to the kinks that are expected when opening a restaurant? Rocca's reception on Chowhound has been decidedly mixed with some enjoying the "simple, satisfying" food and others frustrated by the "extremely small" portions and "atrocious" service. Regardless of whether these criticisms are true or not, is it fair to give a restaurant a permanent evaluation based on an experience within its first few weeks of operation?

Chowhound opinion seems to be sharply divided. Chowhounder MC Slim JB writes "I've said it before and I'll say it again: anyone going to a new fine-dining place (especially a 200-seat one) in its first six to eight weeks of operation should expect a lot of screwups that won't necessarily be representative of the post-shakedown-cruise experience." 'Hounder tatamagouche agrees that "you can't make an entirely fair, objective call from an early visit, but you can decide *something*, something mostly subjective--whether the mood and the food speak to you personally."

It's a fascinating debate. We tend to come down on the side that says that you can't tell much until a few weeks in (which is why we were a little mystified to see Rocca, which opened on April 25, reviewed in the Dig this past week), but there's definitely something to the other side of the argument as well. What do you think?

Rocca [MenuPages]
Rocca [Official Site]
Rocca "No" [Chowhound]
Rocca last night [Chowhound]
Rocca Kitchen & Bar [The Weekly Dig]

We have been extraordinarily remiss in our failure to tell you until now that May is National Hamburger Month. To correct our faux pas, we now present you with five fun facts about everyone's favorite bar food.

1) In a year the average American eats 112 pounds of beef. We're willing to bet that at least half of that is hamburger. (Just think of that second sentence as a bonus conjecture.)

2) The original hamburger was most probably a treat from (wait for it) Hamburg, Germany, in which scraps of beef or pork were served in a warm bun.

3) Both the state of Texas and the town of Seymour, Wisconsin claim to be the official home of the hamburger.

4) Takeru Kobayashi is the current hamburger-eating champion speed-eater. In October 2006, he consumed 97 hamburgers in eight minutes.

5) Hamburgers are exceedingly delicious. (Some might call that an opinion, but we stand by our use of the word "fact".)

May: National Hamburger Month! [A Hamburger Today]
Reconstruction and Growth [America The Bountiful]
Hamburger [Wikipedia]
Krystal Square Off [Wikipedia]

Blogston Proper is your thrice-weekly roundup of Hub-related food writing from all over the Internet. We read the blogs so you don't have to. But you should anyway, just to be nice.

•Ken Oringer is a busy bee. Hot on the heels of his recently opened La Verdad comes KO Prime. It sounds like a keeper. [The Food Monkey]
•Formerly dull West Roxbury is in the midst of a quiet culinary revolution! [Universal Hub]
•Roslindale: continuing to exceed expectations. [Minty Choco Chip]

[Photo: Flickr: michael seamans]

•MP: Chicago cements his reputation as one of the premier providers of food porn with an up-close-and-personal view of wine-making and a look at some Tête de Moine cheese that made us salivate.
•MP: Philadelphia investigates some mild ridiculousness in the Philly restaurant scene with a spotlight on some less-than-grammatically-correct signage and a new menu just for puppies.
•MP: San Francisco had some good news and some bad news about the Beard Awards this week. We feel his pain.

Diner's Agenda is pretty sure this is the first edition where none of the events overlap.

Friday, May 11
•The only thing we know about football is that we're a fan of the Pats, but if you're more athletically inclined, perhaps you might want to check out tonight's gala at 33 Restaurant & Lounge, which honors Kevin Faulk and benefits the United Way. The event starts at 7:00 and features food, drinks, and a bevy of football players, all for $100-300. Call (617) 572-3311 to save your spot. [33 Restaurant & Lounge: Good Things Come In 3s]

Saturday, May 12
•Love the food at the Elephant Walk? Want to learn how to create it at home? Head over to the Boston location at 10:30am for a lesson on how to prepare poultry four different ways with chef Nadsa de Montiero. $69 gets you the class and lunch. Call (617) 285-1056 to reserve. [The Elephant Walk: Saturday Cooking Classes with Nadsa]

Sagra: B-:
could break the Highland Ave curse,
but still needs some work.

Best beer name ever:
Burgerbrau at ESK
makes the patrons "glow".

Michael McEwen:
chef at Brownstone, bacon fan,
makes a great dressing.

We have a really, truly shameful confession to make. Are you ready? We sort of like the American version of The Office better than the original. We know, we know, Ricky Gervais is a total genius, but, somehow, we just find the American version...funnier? We really hope you didn't just lose all your respect for us. As you might imagine, we have a bit of a hit-or-miss relationship with British comedy, but when we love it, we love it. We're obsessed with Knowing Me, Knowing You With Alan Partridge and we're pretty sure we're going to love Posh Nosh even more.

Posh Nosh is a parody of cooking shows, starring Arabella Weir and Richard E. Grant as Minty and Simon Marchmont: restaurateurs, chefs, and incredible snobs. Mindy and Simon regularly berate their viewers and use ridiculous verbs to describe their cooking (one does not rip a piece of bread, one humiliates it). The video clips are truly brilliant (please be sure to watch this one. Oh, and this one. And don't forget this one). Although we can't seem to find any mention of it on the BBC America website, Epicurious assures us that it is coming to BBC America and public television very soon. Do consider it a worth addition to the pantheon of food television worth watching.

Posh Nosh [BBC]
Posh Nosh [Epicurious]

[Photo: BBC]

We were all set to make fun of the new $1,000 martini at The Capital Grille, but then we realized that it's for charity and we felt more than a little bit mean. The "martini" is made of Ciroc vodka, creme de mure (blackberry liqueur) and fresh berries. It comes garnished with a piece of jewelery, which, presumably, is yours to keep. 100% of the profits go to Share Our Strength. Here's our question: we're used to tipping a dollar per drink (sometimes a little more on something absurdly annoying to make), but somehow, that doesn't seem quite right on a thousand dollar drink. What would you leave?

For those of you without the means to donate a grand to a charity martini, here's how to make your own version at home:
1) Go to the liquor store and buy a bottle of creme de cassis and the cheapest possible bottle of bubbly.
2) Fill a champagne glass about an eighth of the way with creme de cassis.
3) Fill the rest with cheap champagne.
4) Garnish with a plastic ring. May we suggest this super-chic little guy?
5) Feel very swank.

What Makes A Martini Worth $1000? Serving It With A Very Special Twist [Capital Grille: News]
The Capital Grille [MenuPages]
Share Our Strength [Official Site]

King Fung Garden II:
Get ready to join "the cult."
Great Southern Chinese.

Dave's Fresh Pasta, yum!
"Savagely good", starts "frenzy"
right in Davis Square.

Brand-new Tasteykakes!
Alex's Lemon Krimpets
taste great, fight cancer.

We have a confession. Even though the Snoop-Dogg-in-the-late-90s writing style rendered it almost unreadable at times and even though it frequently crossed the line from fun insider gossip to hyper-specific shoptalk and even though the author's "come here/go away" act was tiresome, we were totally addicted to the short-lived Boston restaurant worker blog The Full Comp. The blog launched in March and quickly developed a rabid readership of Chowhounders, the reporters at the Herald, restaurant workers, and some of us who just liked to gawk. Juicy and profane as all get out, the blog quickly filled up with possibly-libelous, possibly-true accusations and gossip about some of the Hub's hottest restaurateurs. The anonymous author (who went by the code name Super Soigne, which continually made us think of Marcel from the second season of Top Chef) filed one last very angry post about the operator of Eastern Standard and then took the site down. We were agog! We were at the edge of our seats! Had Super Soigne simply gotten bored with The Full Comp? Had someone finally threatened legal action? Most importantly, WHO WAS SUPER SOIGNE?

Less than a week after The Full Comp folded, Super Soigne has been identified. Well, probably. Although we had expected SS to be a minor restaurant figure we had never heard of, this is adamantly not the case. Gwen Butler, former general manager of Eastern Standard, and infamous recipient of a three million dollar tip during her time as a bartender at The Federalist. Butler's outing of herself certainly makes this Full Comp post a little strange, no? Also strange: the fact that today's Inside Track piece on the scandal took all their Butler quotes from the blog and not from an interview. Has anyone actually talked to Butler in person about her confession? Something tells us that this story is still developing...

the full comp--new boston industry-insider hilariawesomeness [Chowhound]
Not Quite "Full" Disclosure [Boston Herald]
I Wrote The Full Comp [I Am Super Soigne]
The Urban Fairy Tale [The Full Comp]
Now We Know: Butler Was Spilling The Beans On Defunct Foodie Blog [Boston Herald]

Mamma Maria:
it's no L'Espalier.
It's seen better days.

Fresh food at Sunrise.
Vietnamese to order!
All it needs is beer.

Raw foods in Lowell.
Life Alive is a smash hit!
Low heat, but big taste.

We've been living by the five-second rule since we were tiny and we're willing to bet that you do as well. You know the drill: you drop a piece of food on the floor or counter and scoop it up and pop it in your mouth at the speed of light. "Five-second rule", you state authoritatively. Obviously, the five-second rule doesn't apply to, say, a donut dropped on the T, but it holds true for a non-sticky morsel dropped on your living room floor. Right?

Wrong, say researchers at Clemson University and eminent food scientist Harold McGee. In an article from yesterday's New York Times, McGee reveals that five seconds is more than enough for your dropped food to get contaminated with yucky bacteria like E.coli or salmonella. McGee suggests "the five-second rule, version 2.0": pick up the food and take five seconds to think about whether it's worth eating. We think that sounds like a lot less fun.

It's also little sad that one of our last childhood beliefs has been proven false. What next? Will we learn that chanting "circle, circle, dot, dot, now I've got my cootie shot" and counting to ten (but skipping the number eight, which, as anyone can tell you, is the "cootie number") is not an effective vaccine against the most dreaded disease of our elementary school years?

The Five-Second Rule Explored, or How Dirty Is That Bologna? [New York Times]

Blogston Proper is your thrice-weekly roundup of Hub-related food writing from all over the Internet. We read the blogs so you don't have to. But you should anyway, just to be nice.

•Turns out Toscanini's can give Sweet-N-Nasty (warning: not safe for work or children) a run for its money. [Sidekick]
•We used to think pork fat made everything better. We hadn't thought about smoothies. Now we must reverse our earlier stance. [lisamcc diary]
•We don't know that we'd try a new meat for the first time at the Corner Mall, but to each their own, you know? [Escar-go-go]

[Photo: Flickr: Chris Seufert]

The brand-new Rocca
gets the full Brodeur treatment.
Verdict? Assertive.

Ahlströms try a Bock:
Heller Hound: anti-spring beer.
It's "not too shabby."

Ooh, point/counterpoint:
beer-spraying is fine. No, wait,
beer-spraying is bad.

Diner's Agenda just wants to stay outside all day.

Wednesday, May 9
•It's finally gorgeously spring-y out and you know what that means! Patio-opening time! Never one to shy away from festivities, Devlin's will host a patio-opening party at 6:00 tonight. There's a $15 cover and you can save your place by calling (617) 779-8822. [Devlin's Bistro]
•Here is a brief list of things we like: politics, food, and drink. If you agree, why not combine all three at tonight's Socializing For Justice Cocktails for Justice event at Peking Tom's at 6:00. There's a $2 admission charge and reservations are "appreciated" and can be made on the group's website. [Sidekick]

Our earlier post about Todd English and his new television show got us thinking about food on television. Like many food-lovers, we have a love/hate relationship with the Food Network. We have a total crush on Dave Lieberman and we find Paula Deen inordinately fascinating, but Effing Rachael Ray drives us CRAZY and we're pretty sure that what Sandra Lee does cannot be legally called "cooking." We do, however, love television in general and television about food specifically. Because we also love you, here are three food shows worth the space on your TiVo.

•Good Eats (Weeknights at 7:00 and 11:00, Food Network): Minute for minute, the most charming show on television. Alton Brown is by turns silly, informative, brilliant, and hilarious. Unlike the vast majority of cooking shows (and television shows in general), you feel smarter after watching an episode of Good Eats. Or a marathon, for that matter.
•Iron Chef America (Sundays, 9:00, Food Network): We didn't want to like Iron Chef America. We're totally obsessed with the original Japanese Iron Chef and we're really not sure what makes Cat Cora an Iron Chef on par with Mario Batali and Masaharu Marimoto, but we started watching because of Jeffrey Steingarten and we kept watching because it makes us sit on the edge of our couch and yell things like "Don't make a foam! They never like foams!". Good times. Good times.
•No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain (Mondays, 10:00, Travel Channel): We make no bones about the fact that we love Anthony Bourdain. He's profane, irreverent and hilarious. His legendary bitterness, however, is not what keeps us tuning into No Reservations every week. What keeps us hanging on is his open heart. Unlike some food television personalities who look down on cuisines that many love (we're talking to you, George Duran), Bourdain will try anything. What's more, he'll be appreciative of the time, effort, and thought that went into it. It's absolutely the right attitude for an eater-traveler to have and, besides, watching him eat a still-beating cobra's heart (as he did in Vietnam) is truly great television.
•Top Chef (Wednesdays, 10:00, Bravo): Yeah, it's derivative of the best show ever, Project Runway. Yeah, the first season was better than the second. Even with all that, Top Chef is one of the most reliably enjoyable food shows on television. Tom Colicchio is the Simon Cowell of food competition: cranky, kind of mean, and absolutely correct 99% of the time. Rumor has it that former Queer Eye star Ted Allen will be a permanent judge this season, which can only up the awesomeness. Watching contestants pull together gourmet tasting plates in under thirty minutes (as they frequently do in the Quickfire Challenge in each episode) is truly awe-inspiring. All in all, an excellent weekly hour of television.

[Photo: Epicurian]

We love Todd English. We love Olives, we love Figs, and we really love the recipe section on his website. We were all set to make a joke about how the photo gallery on his site always makes us think of the SNL sketch explaining how to be a Handsome Actor, but then we remembered that when we met English, we were near-dumbstruck by how dreamy he is (like a George Clooney who cooks!), so, you know, we don't blame him for showcasing it. We're a little embarrassed to admit that we didn't know about his semi-new television show, Food Trip with Todd English, until it won him a Beard Award, but we've checked out the website and it does look pretty awesome. It seems to air on WGBH on Fridays at 7. We'll definitely be checking it out.

Olives [Official Site]
Figs [Official Site]
Food Trip with Todd English [Official Site]
My Favorite Things [YouTube: foodtripwgbh]

New York Times food review guru Frank Bruni has had more than his fair share of controversy since assuming his position in 2004. In February, noted New York restaurateur (who we are not going to say anything mean about because he truly frightens us) Jeffrey Chodorow (backer of Todd English's spectacular failure, English Is Italian) responded to a devastating review by Bruni of his latest venture Kobe Club by taking out a full-page ad in the Times that, essentially, called Bruni a fake critic. Now, two weeks after Bruni gave restaurant whiz Keith McNally's new spot Morandi a less-than-stellar one-star review, McNally has gone on the offensive. Earlier today, he sent New York food blog par excellence Eater an open letter in which he accused Bruni of low-balling Morandi solely because the restaurant's chef is female. McNally alleges that Bruni has never given a restaurant with a female chef more than two stars and is "unremittingly sexist".

The fallout on all this is pretty fascinating, especially if you follow the goings on of the insanely clubby New York food world. We were left wondering, however, why this sort of thing never happens in Boston. Is it because there's no one Hub food reviewer who holds an overwhelming balance of power? Perhaps. Balance seems to be fairly well split between the three big papers. Is it because Boston reviewers tend not to go out seeking blood and thus, reviews are just nicer? Maybe. Sasha Pfeiffer's swift takedown of Apocrypha in last week's Globe was the harshest (and best) review we've seen in a long time. Whatever it is, we're fairly grateful that our chefs seem to be less contentious...although it would certainly give us a lot more to write about if they weren't.

Keith McNally: Bruni has "unremittingly sexist slant" [Eater]
McNally Takes A Cheap Shot At Bruni [Grub Street]
Keith McNally Takes A Groundless Swipe At Bruni [Serious Eats]
Sour Grapes and Convenient Feminiladyism: Frank Bruni Hates Ladies, Claims Crazy McNally [Gawker]
Upscale Gone Overboard [Boston.com]

[Photo: United States Postal Service]

Between Chicago's ban on foie gras and New York's condemnation of trans fats, food policy has spent more time than usual in the news in the past year or so. These issues, however, pale in comparison to the Farm Bill that is currently being debated in the U.S. Congress. Although city folks like us are likely to dismiss anything to do with farms as irrelevant, the Farm Bill, as Michael Pollan recently pointed out in the New York Times Magazine, is actually about the way food is produced in the United States, not simply what happens to farmers. Mouthing Off has a great rundown of Farm Bill resources, but here are the key points from Pollan's article.

•The Farm Bill, as it currently stands, does "almost nothing to support farmers growing fresh produce" and lends a much greater hand to those growing crops that can help produce processed foods (i.e. corn and soy).
•The Farm Bill decides what will be included in school lunches.
•The Farm Bill affects nearly half of America's privately-owned land.

Clearly, this is an overwhelmingly important piece of legislation, even for those who tend toward apathy but love their food. We strongly urge you to visit the USDA's site about the bill and let your legislators know what you think.

You Are What You Grow [Michael Pollan]
Farm Bill Cheat Sheet [Mouthing Off]
2007 Farm Bill [United States Department of Agriculture]

[Photo: St. Louis County]

Congratulations are in order for the Boston-area winners at last night's James Beard Foundation Awards. Although the Globe didn't win for Best Newspaper Section and America's Test Kitchen was tragically robbed as Best National Television Show, local legend Todd English got a Best Food Special nod for his PBS program Food Trip with Todd English and, as I previously mentioned, Frank McClelland (of L'Espalier and Sel De La Terre fame) was named Best Chef in the Northeast. Our good friend, the brilliant and hilarious Helen Rosner of ReadySteadyGo. was lucky enough to attend last night's ceremony. Her verbose and riotous report follows after the jump.

This was my first year at the Beard Awards, so I couldn't really participate in all the "last year it was like X" compare/contrast that most attendees were having fun with. What I do know: past years' events were in a ballroom at the Times Square Marriott hotel, and this year's was at Avery Fisher Hall at Lincoln Center - an actual theater with actual seats and an actual stage.

Walking the red carpet (no, seriously) into the lobby, I passed Rick Bayless of Frontera Grill (a nominee for - and the eventual winner of - Outstanding Restaurant) and had a little swell of Chicago pride. Inside was crazy - a thousand professional and amateur foodies milling around and wondering how to sneak into the press room, which apparently had an open bar (those of us with paid-for tickets - the cheapest seats were $400 a head - had to wait until after the awards show to get sloshy). Here's a handy trick to tell professional foodie females from amateur foodie females: amateurs look like socialites and dress like they're going to prom. Professionals dress like your mom.

After painfully boring opening remarks from Susan Ungaro, the new president of the foundation (will she lift the foundation out of scandal?!?!? Stay tuned!!!!), the stage was occupied by Heather Storm, who I have never heard of. Apparently she hosts a segment on CBS's The Early Show (aka The Morning Show No One Watches) where she interacts with chefs and cookbook authors. Considering that (a) she used to be a sportscaster, and (b) she was the most skeletally thin person in the entire room, I am guessing her decision to be the cooking-segment gal was not entirely driven by a passionate, longstanding love for food and cooking. Heather Storm proceeded to miss virtually every cue throughout the show, leaving the audience staring awkwardly at an empty stage after winners departed with their medals, and whenever she ran on late she would blame someone else for her inability to get on stage on time. I think I dislike her strongly, though she did accidentally call Bobby Flay a "hoo-hoo honoree" instead of a "who's who honoree," which was hilarious because, well, think about it.

The awards presentation itself was poorly planned. The video screen showed lists of nominees that looked like they were made by someone who had just learned PowerPoint that day, and during the In Memoriam PowerPoint Presentation (I Swear To God I Am Not Kidding You) there was no audio whatsoever, which was really odd. The stage was gigantic and the auditorium was gigantic and no one seemed to have had the forethought to seat nominees up near the stage, so that we wouldn't have to listen to so much of "Sweet Potato Pie"
that we left the Ray Charles part and got to the James Taylor part (which is, for the record, the bad part) while the winners speed walked the city block down to the stage.

Speaking of "Sweet Potato Pie," someone thought it would be cute to have all the musical cues be songs about food. You know what? This is a great idea. In theory. The problem is that when you include songs like "American Pie" in that list, which open with about 70 seconds of slow and incredibly depressing lyrics, which sort of undercuts the excitement of your win for Best Regional Chef. Other food-related music choices: Strawberry Fields (adorably appropriate for Mollie Katzen, who entered the Cookbook Hall of Fame for Moosewood), Peel Me A Grape, I Heard it Through the Grapevine, and UB40's seminal Red Red Wine, a paean to alcoholism which inexplicably played as Wolfgang Puck came onstage.

A lot was really great. The Lee Brothers won their cookbook category and cookbook of the year, and gave sweet and funny speeches both times. Ted Allen self-consciously called attention to how crappy the PowerPoint was. Martha Stewart managed to curb her disdain. David Chang gave the credit for his Rising Star award to his restaurant team. Michel Richard and his sommelier were hysterically, farcically funny while accepting their Wine Service award, and I want them to have a Jeeves-and-Wooster-esque television show. Katie Lee Joel proved her uselessness by being unable to read the teleprompter, but has incredibly shiny hair. The honorees for "American Classics" - the proprietors of non-haute restaurants in far-flung, unchic cities, who cook things like deep-fried hamburgers and sandwiches with french fries used AS A CONDIMENT - were sweet, seemed genuinely touched, and made really cute remarks like "Stop what you're doin', swallow what you're chewin' - we won an award!" They also made me deeply crave fried chicken. Fun fact: REM took the album title for "Automatic for the People" from the slogan of a restaurant in Athens, GA. Another fun fact: the secret ingredient in that restaurant's fried chicken is garlic salt.

Here's my confession: I didn't make it through to the end of the awards show. Just about when Padma Lakshmi took the stage (verdict: pretty and competent), my companion and I decided to go out to the lobby and get a rush on the post-show reception. Which, let's be honest, is the real point: 30 tables with free food from the country's best restaurants? Yes please. For all that Anthony Bourdain was cranky about the lack of kitchen facilities at this year's new site, everyone seemed to do a bang-up job with portable burners and pre-mise'd prep. We spent a lot of time hovering by French Laundry's table (salmon tartare cornets, and free clothespins!), and I ogled the oh-so-dreamy Todd English as he ladled out deconstructed crab-and-parmesan-and-morel lasagna. Jose Andres' cotton candy foie gras was interesting if not delicious, and Traci Des Jardins's rabbit escabeche with favas was the springiest springtime food I might have ever eaten in my life.

Some final thoughts: Salman Rushdie was there, urgently barking into his cell phone that he was "standing by a sign that says Marcus Samuelson and where the *bleep* are you?!" And then Padma showed up and he calmed down visibly. Bill Buford, whose book Heat is amazing and who was utterly robbed in his category by that no-good upstart Michael Pollan, was carrying his wife's oversized silver metallic leather tote bag. Lorna Sass and Dorie Greenspan both have awesome glasses. I overheard a skinny woman in a Marc Jacobs sundress say "What's the French Laundry? Do you think it's good?" There were no gift bags.

A reader writes in...

Dear MenuPages,
My dad is stopping in Boston next week and wants to have dinner. Can you think of any place(s) easily walkable from South Station, relatively traditional but not too boring, where a guy could buy his daughter a nicer dinner than she could afford by herself?
-Frances, Providence

Dinner with parents is a great opportunity to vastly expand your restaurant repertoire. Odds are that your parents aren't trying to pay rent and eat on an assistant's salary (or worse yet, as a student) and they generally want to give you a little treat. Although the South Station area isn't necessarily regarded as a food destination, there are lots of great parent-friendly eats nearby.

•Trattoria II Panino serves up eminently reliable Italian food a cut above the typical red sauce joint. Go for the excellent pappardelle al ragu and marvel at the the sauce's mindblowingly rich combination of four meats.
•Show your pops that you're a sophisticate at Les Zygomates, a wine bar with stellar food. Go for the butter-poached lobster because there is but one thing in this world that can improve upon the natural deliciousness of lobster and that is poaching it in butter.
•Indulge in the seasonal perfection of Pigalle's bitter greens salad: a sort of frisee aux lardons packed with pickled ramps and other goodies.
•The food at Avila is basic enough to appeal to a cautious eater but adventurous enough to satisfy a foodie. Go for the superlative hand-rolled potato gnocchi.

Have a question about Boston dining that's burning you up inside? Ask us!

Trattoria II Panino [MenuPages]
Les Zygomates [Official Site]
Pigalle [Official Site]
Avila [Official Site]

[Photo: A View on Cities]

Grub Street reports that farm-fresh asparagus has been spotted at New York City's Union Square Greenmarket (the ne plus ultra of American farmer's markets). Asparagus, along with morels and ramps, is part of the holy trinity of spring produce. Asparagus means that spring has sprung! White shoes may be worn!* Winter coats may be put in storage! A young man's fancy may turn lightly to thoughts of love!

We strongly recommend taking advantage of this seasonal bounty as soon as humanly possible. Pick up some asparagus on your way home from work and call a few friends to come over for dinner, Iron-Chef-themed-ingredient-style. Prepare a stunningly easy asparagus feast: a velvety asparagus soup, asparagus risotto and asparagus simply dressed with gremolata butter. You don't have to make an asparagus dessert, but if you figure one out, let us know and we will definitely give you a shoutout. You'll enjoy your meal so much, you won't even mind asparagus' most noted side effect.

*We know, we know. It's Memorial Day that heralds the beginning of white-shoe season. What can we say? We like to live dangerously.

Local Asparagus Finally Shows Up, With Sorrel In Tow [Grub Street]
Asparagus Soup with Lemon Creme Fraiche [Epicurious]
Asparagus Risotto [Epicurious]
Asparagus with Gremolata Butter [Epicurious]

Our source at the ceremony tells us that Frank McClelland of L'Espalier has just been named Best Chef: Northeast. Congratulations to chef McClelland! Details tomorrow.

L'Espalier [Official Site]

•In Roslindale, a pleasant change in the sound scenery. [Universal Hub]
•Don't you love farce? [RealFake Blog]
•We're going to level with you. This has nothing to do with ice cream trucks or Boston, per se, but we had to share it. [Consumerist]

[Photo: Flickr: murdypix]

We all love our mothers, but sometimes, said love doesn't compensate for forgetfulness and we realize on the Monday before Mother's Day that we completely forgot to make brunch plans. Um. Not that this has happened to us or anything. We always like the idea of making a home-cooked meal for our mom, but if you're bound and determined to go to a restaurant, there's no need to panic. Many great spots still have reservations available. Because we love you and your mom (so much so that we are using ALL OUR AVAILABLE RESTRAINT not to make a "your mom" joke right here in these parentheses), here are five blog-approved spots with tables still available for you and Joe. Joe who? JOE MOMMA! Sorry. Our restraint only goes so far.

•At Davio's, $65 gets you an entree and unlimited trips to the antipasti table, which contains such goodies as lobster bisque and arancini with pancetta and mozzarella. Brunch runs from 11:30am-4pm and reservations may be made by calling (617) 357-4810. [Davio's: Special Events]
•Mother's Day is all about showing your mom that you appreciate everything she's done for you. Trust us, while she's scarfing down the three-course brunch at Excelsior, she'll feel very well-thanked. Especially when she gets to the warm chocolate cake with peanut butter ice cream. Brunch is available until 4:00 and prices range from $52-77 a head. Call (617) 426-7878 to reserve. [Excelsior: Events]
•Treat your mother to a truly elegant experience with brunch at Sel De La Terre, where she can indulge her gourmand side with dishes like rosemary pommes frites and pork pâté. Call (617) 720-1300 to save your place. [Sel De La Terre: Events]
•It's not quite brunch and you didn't hear it from us, but if you sign up to become a friend of Typhoon, your mom's dinner will be free on Sunday. [Typhoon]

Diner's Agenda is keeping it low-key.

Monday, May 7
•Experience the excitement of Iron Chef without leaving the Hub at Sibling Rivalry's Fight Night. Sous chef Simon Restrepo takes on chef David Kinkead in a one-ingredient, three-course battle. The real winners are the attendees, who get the tasty spoils for a mere $35. Call (617) 338-5338 for details and reservations. [Sibling Rivalry: Events]

Tuesday, May 8
•In a world of Little Penguins and Red Bicycles, Buttonwood Wines is still a pretty adorable name for a brand of vino. See if the taste matches the name's promise at the wine dinner at Sophia's Grotto. $44.95 gets you three courses with wine pairings. Call (617) 323-4595 to save your spot. [Sophia's Grotto]

There truly is nothing better than getting the chance to eat something seriously amazing while also helping to do some good. That truism will be taken to new heights all this week during Boston Bakes for Breast Cancer. Here's how it works: go to any of the dozens of participating restaurants and order the "special dessert" (it should be labeled on the dessert menu, but do ask if you have any questions). The restaurant will then donate 100% of the dessert's proceeds to the Eva Brownman Breast Cancer Fund, which works to raise awareness of and try to find a cure for breast cancer. It's a great cause and when else do you have an excuse to make running out for say, a frozen rhubarb souffle, with shortbread cookies, fresh raspberries and raspberry coulis at Excelsior a priority? Or some warm chocolate cake with coffee reduction and candied kumquat at Aujourd'hui or even the strawberry-rhubarb crisp with almond milk ice and oatmeal tuille at The Metropolitan Club? Really, you'd better just try them all. After all, it is for charity.

Boston Bakes for Breast Cancer [Official Site]
Excelscior [Official Site]
Aujourd'hui [Official Site]
The Metropolitan Club [Official Site]

Many thanks to Carol from Table Critic for letting us know about the event.

We're as proud of Dunkin Donuts as the next Bostonian, but we must admit: no American donut (not Honey Dew, not Dunkies, not even a hot one from Krispy Kreme) holds a candle to the delectable churro. Churros are an almost unspeakably delicious fried dough treat offered through much of the Spanish speaking world. Dough is piped through a fluted tube and fried. Ideally, the churros are served warm. They are perfect sprinkled with a bit of cinnamon sugar and they are something past perfection and well into the realm of the godly when served with thick Spanish hot chocolate. They are also extremely difficult to track down in much of the United States. We harnessed the awesome potential of the MenuPages Find-a-Food search and discovered that Ken Oringer is, apparently, the only person in Boston interested in providing us with churros.

•At Oringer's tapas restaurant Toro, churros are available at the Sunday brunch and served with a chili-infused chocolate sauce, which sounds just about right.
•At La Verdad, Oringer's taco joint, the churros may be ordered as dessert at any time. Given La Verdad's truly excellent hours, this means that you can have some churros after the bars have closed, which, as any visitor to Spain knows, is the absolute best time. Oh yeah, and they come dusted with cinnamon sugar and served with both dulce de leche and warm Mexican chocolate. Excuse us while we collapse onto our keyboard in a delirious moment of food lust.

Find-a-Food Search [MenuPages]
Toro [MenuPages]
La Verdad [MenuPages]

Blogston Proper is your thrice-weekly roundup of Hub-related food writing from all over the Internet. We read the blogs so you don't have to. But you should anyway, just to be nice.

•When we think of the Vineyard, we mostly think of eating fudge by the pound, so we're a little skeptical of this "Martha's Vineyard Detox Diet." [Pasquinade]
•We actually like Barstool Sports, but we would have to strongly caution them against awarding "stoolies" instead of stars in their reviews. It just doesn't sound right. [Barstool Sports]
•Ed Levine predicts mild heartbreak for Bostonians at Sunday's Beard Awards. [Serious Eats]

[Photo: Flickr: .heather.]

Let's be totally honest here. Do you actually know what Cinco de Mayo commemorates? Contrary to popular belief, it's not Mexico's Independence Day (that's September 16). No, Cinco de Mayo commemorates the Mexican victory in the Battle of Puebla in 1862. Now that you're briefed, get ready to celebrate with some excellent Mexican food and perhaps a cerveza or several. Head on down to Sol Azteca or La Verdad for tacos, tostadas and other treats from south of the border. Once you've filled up, head over to your friendly neighborhood bar if you want to keep it mellow or the Cinco de Mayo fiesta at Felt if you don't. Either way, when the drunk dude next to you tries to tell you it's Mexican Independence Day, school him.

Sol Azteca [Official Site]
La Verdad [MenuPages]
Cinco de Mayo Fiesta @ FELT [Going]
Felt [Official Site]

Diner's Agenda is working for the weekend.

Friday, May 4
•Essex is by far the most charming North Shore town...and definitely the one with the best seafood. See for yourself at tonight's Taste of Essex at Woodman's at 5:00. $60 gets you drinking, dancing, and food from 35 participating restaurants. Tickets may be purchased at the door. [The Essex Room: Events]
•Is Essex a bridge too far? If so, stay a little closer to home and check out the Taste Of The North End at the New England Aquarium at 7:30 tonight. Over 35 restaurants (including La Brace and Carmen will be dishing up samples. $95 gets you unlimited tastes and helps a worthy cause to boot. Tickets are available at the door. [Taste Of The North End]
•It's a very special time for the Cambridge Brewing Company, which is celebrating its eighteenth birthday this weekend. They're celebrating by offering 18 one-of-a-kind beers on tap all weekend. To paraphrase IHOP, go thirsty, leave happy. [Cambridge Brewing Company: Events]

Saturday, May 5
•In addition to Cinco De Mayo, Saturday is Kentucky Derby Day and you know what that means: it's time to put on a ridiculous hat and drink some mint juleps. Fortunately, 75 Chestnut is providing a forum to do just that. The event starts at 5:00. Do have a mint julep for us. [75 Chestnut: Events]

Sunday, May 6
•Head on down to Harvard Square for the Mayfair, where entertainment, food, and fun can be had for absolutely free between noon and 6:00. A bargain at twice the price! [Harvard Square: Events]

Finally, an "A"!
Schaffer loves O Ya , oh yeah.
Food is "glorious."

A vegan foodie?
Not such an oxymoron.
Veg cafes do well.

As part of our continued commitment to bringing your videos of singing and dancing fruit, we present a clip from (we believe) "Shalom Sesame".

Next up: the dancing fruits solve the Middle East conflict.

You Tube: Benzy19
"And Plantano Bananaaaaa!" [Serious Eats]

We've long suspected that one's relationship to news about Harvard depends on a variety of factors including but not limited to how long you've lived in the Boston area, your security (or lack thereof) about your own educational background, and whether or not you've ever worked in Harvard Square. Whatever your feelings on Harvard, however, the revelation that the school has just opened a pub on campus is bound to inspire deep feelings of envy. The Cambridge Queen's Head, located in Memorial Hall, is named after an English pub John Harvard left to the University. The pub serves up bar food favorites like fried calamari and mozzarella sticks to Harvard students drunk on the pub's signature beer, Harpoon 1636. Campus pubs are nothing new (when we studied abroad in London, our not-terribly huge university had no less than four bars and pubs on central campus, not counting the ones in each dorm), but they've been slow to catch on (at least in university-owned buildings) in the United States. Although we certainly did enough imbibing in our college years, we must confess that we're more than a little jealous of Harvard's new addition.

The Cambridge Queen's Head Pub [Harvard]

Burtons: a good chain.
Is that an oxymoron?
Nope, says pleased Nadeau.

Talk of the Town: great!
Unassuming, but awesome.
Try a huge omelet.

•MP: Chicago brings us a roundup of Chicago-related vegetable news, some more literal than others.
•MP: Philadelphia reminds us that vegan eateries cater to more than just dirty hippies and lets us know about Barbara Kingsolver's experiment with local eating.
•MP: San Francisco is ready for the coming onslaught of vegetarian restaurants.

Apocrypha: oof.
Prices are "preposterous"
and food isn't great.*

Pepper Pot: yum yum!
Great Jamaican in Dudley,
says Bella English.

PBS on food:
better than the Food Network?
We sure do hope so.

*: An open letter:
Dear Globe, please hire Pfeiffer.
That review was great.

The chips and guacamole at La Verdad are stirring up a fair bit on controversy over on Chowhound. Are the chips cut too thick? Is the guacamole refreshingly delicious as is or does it need a chile kick? Opinions are divided but one thing seems to be constant among both the Chowhounders and patrons we've witnessed: people are impressed by the cheese sprinkled atop the dish. Well, impressed and possibly a little bit baffled. Our own dining companion thought it was parmesan and was very confused. What is this puzzlingly tasty cheese?

The mystery cheese is none other than queso Cotija, a Mexican semi-hard cow's milk cheese with a flavor somewhere between feta and parmesan. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the cheese comes from the town of Cotija de la Paz in the Mexican state of Michoacan, along the Pacific coastline. Queso Cotija is quite granular, which makes it ideal for grating. Its super-salty flavor makes it an ideal accompaniment to dishes in need of a little kick. If you're keen to buy some for home use, try looking at La Internacional Foods in Somerville.

La Internacional Foods, 318 Somerville Ave, Somerville, (617) 776-8855

La Verdad [MenuPages]
La Verdad: 3 out of 4 is pretty damn good [Chowhound]
Cotija Cheese [Wikipedia]
Cotija Puts The Accent On Mexican Foods [San Francisco Chronicle]
Cotija Cheese [Official Site]

Blogston Proper is your thrice-weekly roundup of Hub-related food writing from all over the Internet. We read the blogs so you don't have to. But you should anyway, just to be nice.

•Good: Alison Arnett [Boston.com]
•Gross: drunk Northeastern girls. [Boston Brat]
•Good: Somerville gives away a CSA membership. [The Somerville News]
•Gross: E. coli [Salon]

[Photo: Flickr: cybersooz]

The Dig tries Rozzy!
Clearly, it's the new JP.
Two's a trend, you know.

Last beer for Ahlströms
in the six-pack from Lakefront.
Pilsner "just OK."

Diner's Agenda is a little bit tipsy.

•Tonight's Hot Off The Vine Wine Tasting Dinner at 33 Restaurant & Lounge is brilliantly scheduled for 5:00. After a quick flight of three newly released French wines, you'll be perfectly primed for dinner, and since the tasting costs a relatively mere $20, you'll have enough money left over to splurge on takeout. Call (617) 572-3311 to RSVP. [Boston Chefs]
•Beer geeks, rejoice, for tonight the New England Real Ale exhibition begins! There will be 80 firkins of cask ale from the United States and abroad for about $5 a pint, alongside sandwiches from Redbones. Things get underway at 6:00 tonight and stretch through Saturday at the George Dilboy Post in Davis Square. Admission ranges from $5-15 and may be purchased at the door. [New England Real Ale Exhibition]

Sure, Boston dining is amazing, but sometimes you want a bit of an adventure. Pile in the car, kids. It's time for a road trip. Today we head about an hour and a half west to Northampton, Massachusetts

Ah, Northampton. Home of Sonic Youth's Kim Gordon and Thurston Moore, one-time residence of Smith College alumnae Gloria Steinem, Sylvia Plath and Barbara Bush (three names you never thought you'd hear in the same breath), birthplace of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Nestled into the heart of the Pioneer Valley just below the Berkshires, Northampton (or Noho, as the cool kids call it) is the cultural center of Western Massachusetts, boasting scenic views, killer art and music scenes, and, most intriguingly for our purposes, great food at a fraction of Boston prices. Drive on down for a day of art galleries, record and vintage clothing shopping, and gorging yourself.

Plan to arrive just in time for breakfast at Sylvester's. Housed in the former home of graham-cracker inventor Sylvester Graham, Sylvester’s makes hand-down the best omelets in town and the rest of the menu isn't too shabby either (we're very fond of the apple cinnamon pancakes).

Spend the rest of the morning doing some light shopping along Main Street before decamping to Pinocchio's Pizza for a slice topped with a semi-bizarre but delicious combination of ingredients. We're partial to the slice with feta, tomato, and avocado, but, really, nothing tops the anti-Atkins tortellini slice. Totally worth the inevitable tummy ache. If you're craving a healthier option, cross the street to find the Haymarket Café, for an excellent vegetarian sandwich and the best people-watching in Noho.

While away your afternoon checking out the galleries lining Main Street and the Smith College Museum of Art. When you're ready for dinner, mosey on over to Del Raye, widely regarded as Northampton's best restaurant. Although the prices are steep by Northampton standards, they aren't too bad to the Bostonian eye. If you've managed to go Sunday-Thursday, you can grab a $28 prix fixe. Don't have too much money to burn? Try Viva Fresh Pasta Company, where $6.95 gets you an ample portion of their house-made pasta and sauce. Go for either the egg linguine dressed with the near-perfect alfredo or the sweet potato ravioli with romesco. Head home, happy and full.

Pinocchio's Pizza, 122 Main St, (413) 586-1468
Haymarket Cafe, 185 Main St, (413) 586-9969

Sylvester's Restaurant [Official Site]
Del Raye [Official Site]
Viva Fresh Pasta Company [Official Site]

We must confess that talk of eating frog legs always makes us think of The Muppet Movie and inevitably gets "The Rainbow Connection" stuck in our head. That being said, the little buggers are pretty tasty. As has been oft-noted, they taste not unlike chicken, and like chicken, they can take on very different tastes when cooked in different ways.

•At Wine Cellar, the frog legs are served a la Provencal: pan-seared in white wine and olive oil with garlic and parsley. The result is like a meatier version of mussels prepared in the same way.
•The frog legs at Anise are braised with bamboo shoots and baby ginger. By serving time, the meat is meltingly tender with just enough heat to be truly satisfying.
•Muqueca Restaurant serves their frog legs as a crispy fried appetizer. Just try not to pop them like french fries. We just dare you.
•The little jumpers get fancified at The Blue Room, where they're fried in tempura and served with an arugula salad and a garlic-lemon vinaigrette.

With so many delicious options, what are you waiting for? Hop to it! (Sorry. We couldn't resist that one.)

Wine Cellar [Official Site]
Anise [Official Site]
Muqueca Restaurant [Official Site]
The Blue Room [Official Site]

Shanghai soup dumplings (also known as xiao long bao) get our vote for neatest food. These misleadingly delicate-looking dumplings hold an exciting surprise. The contain not only the standard lump of pork found in your ordinary Peking ravoli but also a burst of soup. People, there is liquid inside the solid! We don't know that we can adequately describe how incredible this is. It seems, frankly, like nothing less than pure magic.

We became acquainted with soup dumplings while in New York. According to the magic of the MenuPages Find-a-Food search, there are no restaurants in Boston that serve soup dumplings. A true tragedy! But fear not, brave reader! Although you may not be able to waltz into Chau Chow City (or your Chinatown restaurant of choice) and order Shanghai soup dumplings, word comes from the geniuses at Serious Eats that Epicurious has generously posted a tutorial and recipe for the coveted magic food. As it turns out, somewhat disappointingly, the trick to getting the soup inside the dumpling is aspic, not sorcery. Still! We highly recommend whipping up a batch of these bad boys for your next dinner party. We can't think of anything else that will better impress your guests.

Find-a-Food Search [MenuPages]
Chau Chow City [MenuPages]
Make Your Own Soup Dumplings [Serious Eats]
Shanghai Soup Dumplings [Epicurious]
Shanghai Soup Dumplings Recipe [Epicurious]

Senior year of college can be stressful. You spend all of second semester trying desperately to get your work done while also stressing about finding a post-graduate job or getting your grad school applications in while also trying to spend as much time as possible with your friends because you're only in college once, you know? We know. We also know that it only gets more stressful when, mere weeks before you're done! with all! of college!, your parents call and say that they've booked their hotels and they're so excited (as, of course, are Grandpa and Grammy and your little sister and your second cousin) and by the way, you've made a reservation for a post-graduation dinner, right?

This seems like a pretty good time to panic, but really, that's not entirely necessary. Sure, it's going to be a little bit trickier to find someplace for you and yours to eat this late in the game, but it can be done...as long as you follow the rules.

Rule #1: Expand your dining area. There are expected to be 20,000 attendees at the Boston University Commencement exercises on May 20, and that's not even including the 2,000+ graduates themselves. The sheer numbers mean that if you haven't already made reservations, it's probably time to say goodbye to any dreams of eating in Kenmore Square or anywhere in Allston-Brighton. Newton's a bit of a schlep, but that fact alone means it's liable to be slightly less of a madhouse. 51 Lincoln has been winning rave reviews and we've always been big fans of the Newton branch of Sol Azteca. This advice isn't just for BU kids. If you're graduating from one of the eight colleges in the Fenway area, venture out to J.P. or even Roslindale. If you're a senior at Emerson, Suffolk or UMass Boston, try one of the great new restaurants in Southie. Avoid the madness of the Cambridge squares by taking a trip to deep Somerville (we're talking past Ball Square, here).

Rule #2: Think Off-Hours. Commencement ceremonies tend to start around 1:00, so commencement parties tend to eat early. Why not surprise your family with a bottle or two of champagne in your room (or, alternately, try to get them to go "see the sights" so you can get a much-needed few hours to yourself) and pass a few hours before arriving for a soigné late dinner (say, around 9 or 10). Alternately, why not celebrate before the ceremony with a pre-graduation brunch?

Rule #3: Stop Worrying. Listen. Your family is just happy that you're done with college. They'll be delighted even if you drag them to Little Stevie's Pizza because it's where you spent most of your time in college. Have fun, don't let the reservation situation stress you out. Congratulations!

Alex Witchel's article in last week's New York Times Dining section has been weighing heavily on our mind this past week. In the article, Witchel discusses her inner conflict between her urbane and conscientious side (which wants produce from a farmer's market and artisanal foods) and the part of her that craves childhood comfort foods like Wonder Bread and Hostess Sno-Balls.

While we're certainly not immune to the charms of processed foods (oh Kraft Mac & Cheese, you orange seducer, you), Witchel's piece really made us think about another kind of food-based guilty pleasure. As the main representative for MenuPages Boston, we feel a great responsibility to know about Boston restaurants and support local businesses. For the most part, this is not a chore at all. In theory, we would always rather eat at a local restaurant that has a sense of community and history and is owned by a small group of people, not a giant corporation. In theory. Listen, we've known each other for a few weeks now. We can be honest with you, right?

Sometimes, all we want in this world is the tomato-basil spaghettini with goat cheese from California Pizza Kitchen. Sometimes, we'd rather head to Bertucci's for a margherita pizza (we always order extra, since it is, perhaps, the world's greatest cold pizza) than down to our soulful neighborhood cafe. We love a dining adventure as much as the next food writer, but every so often, you just want something cheap and familiar, you know?

We're pretty sure we aren't the only ones who feel this way. What's your guilty pleasure restaurant? Drop us a line or let us know in the comment box. As we have no leg to stand on, we definitely won't judge you.

A Soft Spot for the Anti-Artisanal [New York Times]
California Pizza Kitchen [MenuPages]
California Pizza Kitchen [Official Site]
Bertucci's Brick Oven Pizzeria [MenuPages]
Bertucci's Brick Oven Pizzeria [Official Site]

[Photo: Virtual Tourist: emilienoelle]

In "The $20 Challenge," we face the daunting task of eating three square meals in Boston's most expensive areas for a mere Jackson. As always, we recommend ordering water and getting your meal to go to avoid the expense of a tip.

Who can resist the unabashedly consumerist charms of Newbury Street? With its pretty lining of trees and gorgeously mismatched brownstones, it's certainly one of the world's quainter shopping meccas. The best part is that there's something for everyone. Flush with cash? Head down to the end nearest the Public Garden and drop in on Versace and Chanel. Not so much? Stop into H&M or saunter to the end near Mass Ave and check out the amazing sales at Jasmine Sola. In food, just as in fashion, Newbury Street can cost a small fortune, but the experience can also be had on the cheap. Behold: a full day of eating on Newbury Street for a mere $13.50.

Breakfast: Rebecca's Cafe may be ubiquitous, but that doesn't mean that they don't make a damn fine apple turnover ($1.95). Grab one to go and eat it on a bench outside to take advantage of Boston's best people-watching.

Lunch: After a morning of serious shopping, treat yourself to a sit down lunch at Steve's Greek Cuisine, where the prices are so incredibly outrageous that you can indulge in a bacon cheeseburger ($3.25), a Diet Coke ($1.25) and some falafel cubes ($1.45) without breaking the bank. Just the fortification you need before an afternoon of gallery-hopping.

Dinner: The issue with eating cheaply is that far too often, you need to sacrifice atmosphere for value. Fortunately, this is decidedly not the case at Shino Express Sushi. As soon as you step down the stairs into the inconspicuous room nestled into a small crook near the corner of Newbury and Dartmouth, you feel transported to Japan, to a tiny local place that tourists would never think to check out. Feel very pleased with yourself for knowing the secret as you enjoy a tekka roll ($2.50 for six pieces) and a hamachi roll ($2.50 for six pieces). Though the sushi is mind-blowingly inexpensive, it's pretty good, as is the service.

You've probably used up a little bit of the remaining $6.50 on tips at this point, but we're willing to bet that you have a little left over for some ice cream at J P Licks. May we recommend a small dish of the Oreo? Mmm. Thrifty.

Rebecca's Cafe [Official Site]
Steve's Greek Cuisine [MenuPages]
Shino Express Sushi [Official Site]
J P Licks [Official Site]

As Bostonians, we're all privy to a rich cultural history. We live among several first-rate museums, the Freedom Trail, a host of historic residences and, of course, the Samuel Adams brewery. Sam Adams is quite possibly our best-known export (sorry, cranberries). We love Sam Adams (particularly the Summer Ale, which is finally back on shelves and on tap!), but we wondered: why is a beer that has only been distributed since Marathon Day in 1985 named after a man who's been dead since 1803?

The Boston Beer Company (makers of Sam Adams) was founded in 1985 by one Jim Koch, the oldest son of a brewing family. Fed up with the subpar brews currently dominating the beer scene, Koch decided to try marketing a better-tasting beer. Rather than creating an entirely new brew, he looked through his family's brewing archives and found a recipe for a beer that his great-great-grandfather had made between the 1870s and Prohibition. The name? Louis Koch Lager. Figuring that the name lacked a certain...zing, Jim Koch decided to rename the beer after Samuel Adams, since Adams, like Koch himself, was a brewer who had inherited a tradition of beer-making from his father. Adams was, in fact, a huge beer enthusiast. When not helping to catalyze the Revolutionary War or signing the Declaration of Independence, he worked at his father's brewery for several years and was frequently called "Sam the Maltster" based on his habit of carrying large amounts of malt through Boston. Classy!

As the beer's label reminds us, Sam Adams was both a brewer and a patriot, which sounds like a pretty excellent job description. We're certainly glad for his accomplishments as the latter, but we're also thoroughly indebted to Jim Koch for his skills as the former.

Samuel Adams [Wikipedia]
History of Sam [Samuel Adams-World of Beer]
Samuel Adams (beer) [Wikipedia]