The legal status of absinthe in this country is still kind of up in the air, but we now have two producers of the spirit: St. George's Distillery in Alameda, Calif., which began selling it last December, and now the newcomer Sirene Absinthe Verte from North Shore Distillery just north of Chicago. The latter hit the market just this month after debuting at WhiskyFest. Chicagoist has some tasting notes from the event:

The 110 proof white absinthe has a sharp, herbal bite to it. the 124 proof green absinthe is, oddly, smoother than the white. It also has an amazing mouthfeel. With absinthe shaping up as the year's new hot spirit, this should sell well.

Until just last year, the importation of absinthe was prohibited, and the only way to get it was to very carefully hide it away in your luggage and hope that no one in customs felt the need to verify your declaration. In 2007, a few brands were approved for sale, but they had to meet the FDA's ban of thujone in consumable products.

Thujone's the bad guy here, the one that's been blamed for all of the evils supposedly brought about by absinthe consumption. It can wreak havoc on your brain and nervous system if consumed in large quantities. But by the time you've drunk enough absinthe, which can be up to 75 percent alcohol, to experience any effects from the thujone, you're dead from alcohol poisoning.

We're not exactly running out immediately to try absinthe — we've never been particularly fond of anise-flavored foods — but we love the ceremony involved with drinking absinthe. The special spoons, the cube of sugar, and the precise way of pouring the ice cold water over it.

Introducing Sirene Absinthe Verte [North Shore Distillery]
St. George Spirits [Official Site]
Absinthe [Wikipedia]
Sorry, Absinthe Trippers: Scientists Say You're Just Really Drunk [Wired]
Chicagoist at WhiskeyFest [Chicagoist]

Photo: diana.lundin [Flickr]

It didn't take long, once the new Grand Theft Auto IV was released yesterday, for foodie/gamer/blogger Adam Kuban to take a virtual tour of the game's eateries. He found that many of the spots bear a striking resemblance to actual New York establishments. That's not surprising, as Liberty City is basically supposed to be a virtual New York.

What is surprising is the level of detail with which the game portrays its fictional Big Apple. Unlike previous versions, which included major landmarks, such as the Golden Gate Bridge and Capitol building in GTA: San Andreas, GTA IV gets right into the neighborhoods to portray actual local foodie faves. They've also got hilarious take-offs of other local institutions such as the musical Banging On Trashcan Lids For An Hour (Stomp) Check out the screenshots over on New York Eats.

It's just too bad the virtual world doesn't (yet) include smell and taste. Of course, that would make games such as Cooking Mama a lot more fun, too.

The Real-Life Restaurants in New York City from 'Grand Theft Auto 4' [New York Eats]
GTA: IV [Official Site]
Cooking Mama [Official Site]
Adam Kuban [Wikipedia]

It's time for a little break. We're turning some age and going some place for the next few days. A clue to our whereabouts:

Yes, that cheeseburger is sticking its spicy tongue out at you. Ha!

There will be national content for the remainder of the week, and we'll be back atcha on Monday, aka Cinco de Mayo. Enjoy your break from us, and we will do the same.

[Photo: green chili cheeseburger, peabirdwoman/flickr]

You know what marginal group of tens of millions of people are being put at risk for poor nutrition by the global surge in food prices? American's school children! Back in the salad days of 2006 when money grew on houses, glowing accounts abounded on plans to revamp the way kids eat at school, trading the fattening and soulless frozen pizzas and burgers that fueled the childhood obesity crisis (remember that?) for the new religion of local/seasonal/organic.

Now that reality has set in, schools are swapping fresh for canned, seeing higher demand for subsidized lunches, and wondering how they'll cope with 30% to 50% cost increases while the federal per-meal subsidy remains static at an unrealistic 23 cents. Probably not all that well! Our youngest citizens have been historically poor budgetary advocates for themselves, so when their slice of the pie shrinks, that's generally the end of the story. Federal law will see to it that students are provided with a minimum number of calories each day, but that's also true for prisoners.

In this rapidly shifting environment for school meals, you have to wonder, just what are the children eating? Thanks to the wonders of the internet, hundreds of cafeteria menus are available for our inspection. Here's a sampling from around the country of what's being served for lunch today:

• Wicomico County, Maryland — Pork dippers with dipping sauce and dinner roll or hot dog on bun and potato rounds, cole slaw, pears

• Fulton County, Illinois — tortellini, pork tenderloin/bun, baked potato, salad bar, uncrustable PBJ, garlic bread, tossed salad, pineapple chunks, shape up in cup

• Fond du Lac County, WIsconsin — Grilled cheese, chicken noodle soup, raw vegetables and dip, mandarin oranges

• Pinellas County, Florida — Cheeseburger, Cuban pork with yellow rice, cheese stick munch and dip, potato wedges, beans, broccoli, Cuban toast

• Tate County, Mississippi — Salisbury Steak w/Gravy, Baked Chicken Nuggets, Fruit and Yogurt Salad, Ham & Cheese on Bun, Black-Eyed Peas, Straight Cut French Fries, Seasoned Cabbage, Chilled Peach Slices, Mixed Fruit, Fruit Juice, Central MS Cornbread, Rice, Saltine Crackers.

Illuminating! Almost everyone is eating pig products for lunch, and there also seems to be a preponderance of dippable items. Regional themes are clearly in play, like the Cuban toast in Florida and the intriguing "Central MS Cornbread" in Mississippi. It's heartening to see that, however unhealthy the dishes and low quality the ingredients, there's still a nod to culinary heterogeneity. Every school seems to be offering fruit and vegetables in some (unexciting) form, but that's a legal mandate; and besides, one of the articles mentioned that broccoli is now cost-competitive with flour!

But even as our school lunch program is stymied by high costs and crappy product, at least we don't have massive food poisoning outbreaks at our nation's cafeterias! For now, anyway.

Economic crunch seen in school lunch rooms [Bradenton Herald]
Food Crisis Forcing Cafeteria Managers To Try New Menus [AHN]
Food prices take bite out of school lunch menus [Star-Ledger]

[Photo: pingnews/flickr]

With grain prices skyrocketing, corn doing double duty between the gas tank and the table, and beef still reeling from that gigantic recall back in February, the American food industry seems strained, to put it lightly. This might be a good time for a new, more streamlined meat product to start making inroads in the market.

And, according to a St. Louis Post-Dispatch article re-printed in Restaurants and Institutions, that's just what's happening with goat meat. Would you call it the soccer of meats? Maybe:

"It's the No. 1 consumed meat in the world," said Scott Hollis, a goat specialist with the U.S. Department of Agriculture. "It's very popular - except here."

Goat is especially popular with Muslim, Hispanic and some Asian communities, particularly around certain holidays, such as Greek Easter (which was Sunday), Cinco de Mayo, and the end of Ramadan, which comes in the fall.

Until recently, though, it was difficult to find American goat meat. If shoppers found goat in stores, it was likely to be imported frozen from New Zealand or Australia, the world's largest exporter of goat meat.

That is starting to change as American farmers get into the meat goat biz - which, as it turns out, doesn't require all that much.

Goats aren't expensive to buy and don't need nearly the land that larger livestock does. That means more small-scale "hobby farmers" have gotten into the business as word of new demand has spread.

While goat meat-burgers may not appear on the menu at McDonalds any time soon, we're glad to see a more worldly, eco-friendly meat treat gaining popularity. A brief internal poll revealed MP staffers overall like the stuff in curries, Jamaican jerk-style, in burritos and whole on the bone. MP Chicago editor Adam Peltz remembered a particularly transcendent cut he ate in Lima: "...i got this amazing leg of kid — so succulent and flavorful for juvenile meat."

As for us, eight years of vegetarianism stunted our meat discovery growth, but just as it is gaining fans in the American marketplace, goat is on its way to the top of our meats-to-try list. Now, if we could just find a local restaurant that serves the stuff...

THE OTHER RED MEAT? Goats find way to U.S. plates [St. Louis Post-Dispatch]
The American Meat Goat Association [Official Site]
Largest Recall of Ground Beef is Ordered [NY Times]
Photo: Mark Verner [Flickr]

Park 52, Jerry Kleiner's recently opened upscale comfort food restaurant in Hyde Park, has been getting decent play in the neighborhood, all things considered. The Dish reports finding the place "packed" at 9pm on a weekday night, despite prices well outside the normal range for the area, and food alternately described as "limp," "dineresque," and "copycat." The Chicagoist went by over the weekend and found people "disappointed" that the restaurant's not open for brunch. We're sure a serious review will hit the internet sooner or later, but in the meantime, we have the restaurant's very first shill on MenuPages to share with you.

User: Patricia (correctly capitalized first names are so infrequently used for legitimate reviews that their presence raises eyebrows — you know, because real people are lazy and illiterate)

Title: Wow! Just what Hyde Park needed!! (use of sentence case makes us nervous. It's true that Hyde Park needed a sophisticated, modern restaurant of some sort, but the title plays into that notion too heavily. Also, non-ironic double-exclamations are frowned upon)

Rating: 5/5/5/5 (an amateur shilling tactical error. Clever shillers realize that 5/5/5/5 is a big red flag, and often go with 4.5/4.5/4.5/4.5 instead)

Review:

What a great place! Absolutely wonderfully decorated (if you like that sort of thing). Great eclectic menu (not really). Food cooked to perfection (cliche). Chef ad libbed on a mustard sauce because I'm allergic to tomatoes and mushroomsit was superb and complimented the meal extremely well (lovely detail, well-intertwined with the narrative)! I felt like I was downtown but didn't have to travel a long way to get home (talking point). Great job!!! Please don't get stalechange the menu every so often and stay upscale (the neg). Valet parking is great idea, but please advertise (this is, in fact, the advertisement). I called and was told to park in the lot around back, but would have gladly paid the $8 to have the car parked and returned for me (wow, what a lazy person. Also, if they're from the neighborhood, why are they driving here?). My friend and I had a lovely time and I am definitely going to make it a "spot" to meet friends for a beautifully comfortable but upscale time in the neighborhood (scare quotes around "spot" and multiple modifiers on "time" are suspicious). Fantastic!!!!! (tell us what you really think)

All this said, we're sure the food is fine, and Park 52 will likely do very well. But we'll only participate when it's fair and square!

Park 52 [MenuPages]

[Photo: glazed salmon at Park 52, Kids' Writer/flickr]

• Rice: food crisis caused by 1) demand 2) distribution difficulties/costs 3) biofuels [IndiaTImes]
• UN: don't forget about commodities speculators! (and the craptastic dollar) [CanadianPress]
• Senate wants to add $200m to the $350m already requisitioned for food aid [NYTimes]
• Following Mars-Wrigley's megadeal, small candy members disheartened [Tribune]
• PM of Thailand, a former cooking show host, to personally make dinner for PM of Myanmar [AP]

• If you've been meaning to try Sally Lunn bread (all but pound cake; and who hasn't), good news! The new Andersonville new-Southern restaurant Big Jones is making sandwiches and French toast out of it [The Stew]

• Hyde Park's branch of the Dixie Kitchen & Bait Shop chain serves a credible catfish po'boy despite its hokey atmosphere [Chicagoist]

• Would you ever get so flustered by a 90 minute wait for Kuma's Corner to resort to Burger King? We're not even going to say anything. But apparently there's a rumor they're opening a store in Las Vegas?! [Drive-Thru]

• Solid, classic Italian at Lincoln Square's La Bocca della Verita'; the carbonara comes highly recommended [Chicagoist]

• What's better about Colombian bakery Mekato's — the pastries, the coffee or the prices? For us, it's the repeated use of "Columbian" instead of "Colombian" in the post, because we're horribly petty [Drive-Thru]

• Two nots about the South Side: Park 52 is not yet open for brunch to everyone's chagrin, and the service and food quality at Rosscoe's Chicago Home of Chicken and Waffles have not been helped by the name change [Chicagoist]

• The cookies are small and unassuming at Twisted Sister Bakery, but no less tasty for it [TOC]

[Photo: cemi-photographic 101/flickr]

It's time, folks: Take a long lunch, get your car/bus/train fare together, buy a magazine or two for the wait. Ben and Jerry's Free Cone Day is tomorrow, and the lines will be phenomenal!

Nah, we're just being dramatic. It's great. Ben and Jerry's feel-good ice cream company has been giving out free cones since it's one-year anniversary in 1979. Now, on it's dirty 30th birthday, the secret has somehow gotten out. Expect a bit of a wait, but it just may be worth it. You can find participating stores here, and a fun little B&J history lesson here.

No, they're not bribing us with any more free ice cream than you get.

Ben and Jerry's [Official Site]
Photo: Cresny [Flickr] Free Cone Day 2007

n.b. try your luck at the B&J's on Navy Pier

A politically active reader wrote in, wondering where he should fuel up next Saturday after he Gets Out The Vote for important presidential nominee [REDACTED] in hotly contested Gary, Indiana. Gary is known for many things — its rapidly shuttering steel mills, poverty, malaise and generalized decay — but much less so for its culinary offerings.

Let's assume for the sake of argument that you're really dead-set on eating in Gary, as opposed to Hammond or East Chicago or Hobart or Portage or, heavens forfend, Valparaiso. Because that would make this too easy! And obviously, you don't need our help finding the local Bennigan's (apparently one of the most popular restaurants in town), although it's worth pointing out that the Pepe's in Gary was the company's first NWI location when it opened thirty-two years ago.

Chains aside, there are credible indigenous dining options if you look hard enough. Our first suggestion comes from an encyclopedic post on LTHForum on Coney Island hot dog stands around Gary. Coney dogs are covered in beanless chili and have very little to do with Coney Island, Brooklyn; they first started to appear in Michigan around World War I, when place names were more appropriable, and continue to be popular throughout the Rust Belt (recently opened Cincinnati-themed bar Cinners offers Coneys for $2). In Gary's heyday, there were Coney stands on every other street corner (okay, not really), but in modern times, your best bet is probably Koney King, spelling it wrong since 1920. A Koney Dog runs $1.99 here, and you can eat it at the countertop atop totally mod red and blue diner stools. Be sure to arrive before 6pm, because this is not a late-night destination.

While you can't get anything pret a manger at Southern-style butcher Tennessee Country Meats, you can get a variety of exotica like salted spare ribs and the coarse, rustic, Hammond, IN-made sausage delightfully called "Bolshevik." You can serve it at your next USSR-themed soiree!

Finally, the somewhat out-of-place Miller Bakery Cafe has been serving fine food to Garyites (precious few letters away from Gary-itis, a common affliction) since the 1980s, when it took over a space formerly occupied by the Miller Bakery. If you thought you couldn't get wood-grilled organic quail stuffed with apple and prosciutto and served on lentils with a cherry liqueur-green peppercorn demiglace in Gary, you were dead wrong. But the fact that you can get it as an appetizers for $6.50 is truly astounding. Mains include a 7 Hour Lamb Shank, roasted with a savory spice rub, raisins and Zinfandel served on top a root vegetable hash for $22, and there's even an attached wine bar if your campaigning runs late.

Have a counterintuitive, hyper-specific query concerning Chicagoland dining? You've come to the right place.

Hillary Clinton arrives in Gary [NWI Times]
Pepe's Gary [Official Site]
Gary IN - Coney Dogs and Urban Decay [LTHForum]
Coney Island Hot Dogs [Wikipedia]
Cinners [MenuPages]
Cinners [Official Site]
Koney King [Google]
Tennessee Country Meats [Google]
Anyone heard of the lunchmeat "bolshevik?" [LTHForum]
Miller Bakery Cafe [Official Site]

[Photo: there are definitely more restaurants signs in Gary than actual restaurants (Vannah Von Terror/flickr)]

Add this shocker to the list of things we have in common with Drew Carey: A love of bacon-wrapped hot dogs. During our long tenure in San Francisco, we developed a late-night affection for the singular street-treats while stumbling home from bars in the Mission district.

The pork masterpieces are available from carts in many U.S. cities, as well as all over Mexico, so we know it's not just a local cuisine. Who wouldn't want a grilled, bacon-wrapped hot dog smothered in grilled peppers, onions, salsa, crema and sometimes even guacamole?

For starters, the Los Angeles Health Department, according to this fine piece of reporting by Drew Carey for Reason.tv. Take a look at the saga of an intrepid street vendor and her struggle to give the people what they want. And then try to walk away from this and not stop for a package of hot-dogs and one of bacon on the way home. Bet you can't eat just one!

Food Fight: Battle of the Bacon Dogs [Reason.tv]
In Videos: Drew Carey in 'Food Fight: Battle of the Bacon Dogs' [Required Eating]

• UN calls meeting with 20 organizations to strategize about food crisis [BBCNews]
• Rice rationing in Vietnam much more serious than Costco's fake rationing [Reuters]
• Sweetened up by Warren Buffett, Mars buys Wrigley's for $23 billion [NYTimes]
• Fat activists working to pass size non-discrimination laws [Tribune]
• 400 lb man slims to 300 lbs in jail; files lawsuit claiming malnutrition [AP]

It certainly sells more newspapers (or attracts more clicks, really) to review the newest hot restaurants each week, but the dining community has just as much need to know about the workhorses of the world. Actually, much more need! And so, Bruno went to the Berghoff, which still exists in some form for some reason. Zombie restaurants! Anyway, while Pat gets all huffy at menu misspellings ("'Orchetta [sic] pasta with rock shrimp'"? Woe is me. If you can't spell it, can you cook it?"), he finds some of the classic dishes to be at least palatable if you absolutely have to go down memory lane.

Actually, can we point out that Thomas Witom's review for a suburban John Barleycorn also critiques menu spelling? "[A]nd the menu cries out for a proof-reader to clean up such gaffs as filet 'mingon.'" Haha, the Sun-Times is totally copping our steez! Well, the more, the merrier.

This week's Omnivorous uses the conceit of "restaurants near Wrigley Field" to talk about some of the staff's favored ethnic spots. Mike Sula leads with Cafe Orchid, a family-run Turkish restaurant that opened around the same time as Nazarlik, but to less fanfare; try the seafood and handmade doner. Mike also recommends TAC Quick, disclosing once and for all that the popular Thai restaurant's name stands for Thai Authentic Cuisine. Chip Dudley (not a nom de porn) thinks you'd be hard-pressed to find a better value for meat than at Tango Sur (then again, maybe it is a nom de porn). Finally, Ann Sterzinger has a review on the somewhat strange pan-European restaurant Rick's Cafe, which has the serious virtue of being BYO.

Okay, go out and try some B-listers this weekend!

[Photo: khâo khlûk kà-pì at TAC Quick, sazerac2k/flickr]

•The new Clover machines make sure that Starbucks coffee doesn't taste like soil. [MP: Boston]
•The last paragraph of this post contains probably the raunchiest joke ever made on MenuPages. [MP: Chicago]
•No matter how much you love Obama, it's probably unsanitary to purchase his half-eaten breakfast. [MP: Philadelphia]
•OMG, San Francisco has a chain called Pizza Orgasmica! [MP: San Francisco]
•Eating on the sand seems precarious. What if the wind blew it into your food? [MP: South Florida]

Sometimes, we just don't understand. We got an impressionistic (at best) non-review for an Logan Square Chinese restaurant from a user named "Vegetarian" entitled "Missing Meows":

I live down the street and I am missing all three of my f*cking cats. If I find fur in anyones' garbage can I am going to be pissed. For Gods' sake work on the rats. Thats why I HAD the cats.

It's not necessarily fair to assume that this is a young, literate crazy cat lady, but too late now! We feel bad about her cats, though. To lose three at once does make one suspect foul play, although probably not on the part of the restaurant; the Chinese don't eat cats, and especially not outside of rural China. Seriously, it's extremely uncommon!

Anyway, do you think that Vegetarian is really going through her neighbors' trash looking for cat remains? One can only hope.

[Photo: "go ahead, try it" (Yaron/flickr)]

America's most exclusive restaurant? It's not what you think. Not Le Cirque or Momofuku Ko or the French Laundry. Nope, the single-table Talula's Table, in tiny, historic Kennett Square, PA, about an hour outside Philadelphia, only accepts reservations one year in advance, and you have to be damned lucky to get one at all.

An upscale market by day, they convert to a restaurant after hours and do one seating a night for their renowned tasting menu. NPR reporter Alex Chadwick visited recently and reports:

A single farm table becomes center stage for one of the country's most exclusive dining experiences. A dozen lucky people gather around it to share an eight-course meal that runs from egg custard with Jonah crab to osso bucco made from pork, all prepared with local ingredients by husband-and-wife proprietors Bryan Sikora and Aimee Olexy.

Because of the restaurant's popularity and its single nightly seating, [proprietor Aimee] Olexy has devised a special system for selecting diners. Though the phone often begins ringing with requests at sunrise, she does not pick it up until 7 a.m. on the dot. The caller is then offered a reservation exactly one year later. Requests for earlier or later are denied, as are attempts to play the VIP card to skirt the procedure entirely.

Talula's: The Toughest Reservation in the U.S.? [NPR: Day to Day]
One restaurant, one table, and a year-long waiting list [Slashfood]
Talula's Table [Official Site]
Photo lifted from Hypsography

• Ban Ki-moon laments global food crisis for the bazillionth time [AP]
• The stalled farm bill contains much-needed relief for poor families [Tribune]
• Reuters has two detailed writeups on the food crisis that review the causes and recount the latest woes, of which there are many [Reuters, Reuters]
• Our pretend cousin Nelson Peltz just bought Wendy's for $2.3b [NYTimes]

We're looking at the Tribune, Time Out Chicago and Sun-Times dining sections this week, and they sure are a hodgepodge. We'll get to the reviews momentarily, but first, the substantive pieces:

• Phil Vettel does some cultural analysis concerning Houlihan's makeover from cheesy mid-scale casual restaurant to soulless mid-scale casual restaurant [Tribune]

• Chris Borrelli colorfully compares breakfast sandwiches, and is surprised to find himself enjoying McD's new chicken and biscuit entry [Tribune]

• A new breed of recipe websites let you search by ingredient and do other web2.0-type things, but the article is somewhat muddled by the overused comparison to music websites [TOC]

• Did you know that beer makes for as good, or maybe even better, a match to cheese as wine? Of course you did, because you haven't been living under a rock for the past three years [Sun-Times]

• Although this is similarly old news, we always find articles about Dippin' Dots charming, if suspicious [Sun-Times]

• You can never have too many upscale bakeries in Auburn Gresham...but one's a pretty good start [Sun-Times]

As for the reviews...

• Phil Vettel chimes in on Prosecco, the swanky River North wine bar. He seems highly impressed by the lounge's sophisticated aesthetic and by the competent regional Italian cooking, but gives little indication why it got two, as opposed to one or three, stars [Tribune]

• Joe Gray's review of Chant, the upscale pan-Asian restaurant in Hyde Park, refers to the broccoli in the pad se-eu as "toothsome." Puh-leeze! [

• David Tamarkin is duly impressed by Habibi, the Devon Ave Middle Eastern restaurant that has the presence of mind to put onions (i.e. thought) into their labna (and cooking, generally) [TOC]

• Heather Shouse approves of Kan Pou, a little Thai restaurant that makes up in quality what it lacks in exoticism [TOC]

[Photo: McDonald's Southern Style Chicken Biscuit, looking kind of sad (chickensandwichblog/flickr)]

Psst. Ever wanted to have you own hot dog cart? Maybe you've entertained dreams of making your own dirty water dogs. Maybe you've read A Confederacy of Dunces one time too many. Or maybe you're just a rich person with too much free time on your hands.

Either way, Hammacher Schlemmer is here to help. We just got word that their catalog now features an "Authentic New York Hot Dog Vendor Cart. Here's the word from HM:

"Made of durable food-grade 18-gauge stainless steel, the cart rolls on two 20" pneumatic wheels and a locking caster with two handles that provide easy maneuvering. It has three removable 360" cu. stainless steel steamer trays that can each hold up to 20 hot dogs or sausages. The front of the cart has a storage ring and hook-up for a propane tank (not included); propane provides fuel for the dual burner assembly housed in the rear interior of the cart directly under the three steamers; burners may be individually controlled by knobs in the cart's rear. A top-loading 3,000" cu. ice cooler keeps your beverages and meats cold; a drain plug on the bottom of the chassis allows you to drain meltwater. The front of the cart houses a two shelf storage or display area for drinks, buns, or condiments; additional storage area is located underneath."

The best part? The cart can be used to make Chicago-style dogs as well.

The Authentic New York Hot Dog Vendor Cart [Hammacher Schlemmer]

There's a very enticingly titled post from Tuesday on Bon Appetit's editor's blog. It's called How To Start A Cooking Club. That sounds like a great idea. We (densely) never even thought of it before, but it's a club where a bunch of friends get together and cook interesting stuff. Fun, right?

While the body of this particular blog entry doesn't specifically outline instructions on cooking club formation &mdash rather a series of jealousy-inducing photos of the author's own cooking club's latest accomplishments &mdash the author sends readers to the extremely handy Bon Appetite Cooking Club page, which does feature pdf downloads on the basics of starting and organizing a cooking club, as well as monthly menus, including recipes and a game plan.

This is definitely the season for getting out of the house, sipping wine on the fire escape, lollygagging with your friends in the park and destroying the kitchen with way-too-ambitious recipes. Get out there and do it, folks!

How To Start A Cooking Club [Epicurious/BA Blog]
The Bon Appetit Cooking Club [Epicurious/BA]
Photo: Aftermath, by Dishevld [Flickr]

Pastries. It was going to happen eventually; Padma reminded us that pastries have historically been an Achilles' heel for cheftestants, and it presents a good opportunity to see who's been paying attention to that fact. Lisa claimed she had sworn to herself she wouldn't do a pastry on the show, but how stupid is that? We don't even believe her. Spike, on the other hand, memorized a particular dessert recipe because he knew this moment was coming.

What none of them knew was that the pastry Quickfire would have the disproportionally prestigious prize of a spot in the Top Chef cookbook. Now obviously there will be other Top Chef cookbooks that include a larger chunk of this season's chefs, but still, it's pretty hot to slip in there at the end. All of the desserts, despite the chefs' crows of ignorance and fear, looked professional and appetizing, but Richard's pseudoscallop bananas and avocado was certainly the most interesting and original of the bunch and the only one whose recipe we'd actually like to see. Kudos also to Dale for making halo-halo, an underpraised dessert if there ever was one.

It was really funny (but not funny haha) when Mark disinterestedly rattled off the notable Second City alums by way of introducing the improv troop. Either New Zealanders are not impressed by the likes of Belushi and Colbert, or the man was completely exhausted and depressed by his crappy showing in the Quickfire. Both explanations are plausible; the life of a cheftestant is not a leisurely one!

The conceit of the challenge — dishes that connote the colors, emotions and foods yelled out by the audience during the improv show — is a clever one. Like in the movie challenge, here is a case of the chefs having to abstract a narrative to sell their dishes. Will they have learned the lesson of how critical it is to get the theme right? No, apparently not!

So let's see, there's...tofu+green+perplexed, yellow+love+vanilla, drunk+magenta+polish sausage, orange+turn-on+asparagus, and purple+depressed+bacon. And now that there's only ten people left and they all know each other pretty well, they were allowed to pair off on their own. This is the first of several elements of meta-improv that go on in the main challenge. While it isn't stated explicitly, the lack of electrical equipment (BTW, what the honk are robocoups and vita-preps, anyway? Too insidery! There should have been a pop-up explainer) and the chefs' forced relocation to the TC house for cooking are both improv devices, even if they didn't seem to have a negative impact on any of the teams.

It was certainly telling when we're treated to lengthy exegeses on the Spike & Andrew (goofy egotists) team, the Jen & Steph (competent professionals) team and the Richard & Dale (high-end superstars) team, but nothing much at all about Mark, Nikki, Antonia and Lisa. Because these people are all going to go away soon! But not just yet; as Nikki (and many others throughout the episode) pointed out, the show is now at a stage where chefs are eliminated for error, not for general incompetence.

First, the good. Richard and Dale's tofu-with-an-identity-crisis impressed the judges, who like pretty much everything Richard does (except for scaly sous-vide salmon). Dale seems to ground Richard, making sure the high-concept doesn't interfere with taste and quality assurance. But since it was Richard's "brainchild," as Dale called it, he was the winner. Now, winning the Quickfire and the challenge is pretty impressive, right?

Spike and Andy make a butternut squash soup (yellow) with vanilla creme fraiche to avenge episode 5's debacle, and pull it off very successfully. Because sometimes, it's better to be good than avant-garde! By the way, when Antonia said "if he wins with a soup I'm going to vomit in my mouth," we LOL'd a little.

Mark and Nikki pass through with a bacon dish because no one ever loses on bacon. We sort of took offense at Mark's contention that the bacon was "depressed" because it had to share a plate with brussel sprouts; brussel sprouts are like our Zoloft! Anyway, both of these people are on thin ice, and we bet one of the two will go next episode.

It was unusual this week that the top four chefs were men and the bottom four were women, especially given how much Bravo is touting the ladies this season. Lisa and Antonia were reamed for completely rejecting the Polish sausage aspect of their dish. Lisa's like, "I'm too good for Polish sausage peasant food." Well you know what, little Lisa? Polish sausage is damn good, and comes in more varieties than you can shake a stick at. Stop being an idiot and make what you're told; your ego has one foot out the door! Also, always serve the guests tequila.

But the real sadness is Jen and Stephanie, two people we would not have expected to see at the bottom already. Their vaguely uncomfortable ménage à trois with orange, goat cheese and asparagus was a total failure for the judges. First of all, Jen going on and on about the phallic imagery of the asparagus was kind of a lost cause. Second, how lucky are they that "orange" happens to be both a color and a food? You'd think they'd have been a little more grateful. Thirdly, they should have ditched innuendo for total obscenity and had the asparagus actually penetrating the orange slices...and along those lines, we can also think of a more clever way to deploy the goat cheese. Haha ew! It is somewhat tragic to have soggy croutons be your downfall on Top Chef, but that's the way the stale bread crumbles. Jen's departure, in which she calls Richard her [hair] brother, is classy. We will miss her!

Next week, important Oprah chef Art Smith (now of TABLE fifty-two) and his various charities.

[Photo: lost in thought (BravoTV]

• Our little Sam's Club rice sales limit tagged as "food rationing" [Guardian]
• Japan's butter shortage initiated by dairy cow cull two years ago [Salon]
• More countries (Uganda this time) telling their citizens to garden [AllAfrica]
• FDA to animal feed manufacturers: no more mad cow prions in the mix [Reuters]
• Farm bill, still unresolved, is increasingly out of step with reality [NYTimes]

Just as the country has finally re-embraced carbs after the whole Atkins nightmare, now we're all going to be forced onto low-carb diets by rising food prices. First, wheat. There's the worldwide rice shortage that will soon be seriously affecting us. Now beer prices are increasing because of the scarcity of hops and barley.

Two ingredients — hops and malted barley — are behind much of the price increases.

Hops produce the chemicals that give beer its distinct flavor. Some varieties are used to bitter the drink. Others impart its floral aromas. Most commercially grown domestic hops come from Washington, Oregon and Idaho.

After water, malted barely is the next-biggest ingredient in beer. It provides the sugars that turns into alcohol when the beer is fermented.

Barley prices have risen because of worldwide demand for grains, including wheat, corn and rice. Philip Sutton, owner of Skyscraper Brewing Co., a small brewery in El Monte, said the price of a 50-pound bag of malted barley had jumped to $22, or 57% higher than a year ago.

Hops prices are soaring even more. Sutton paid $3.40 to $4.70 a pound for hops a year ago. The least expensive hops he has found this year were $12.63 a pound, and he's paid all the way up to $22.45. But that's only if he can find them.

"The hops that we like to use just aren't available," Sutton said. That has forced him to substitute other hops in some of his beer recipes "and that makes a different beer. It's still good but isn't what we would ideally have," said Sutton, who has raised his prices 20% to 30%.

Rising beer prices hard to swallow [Los Angeles Times]
Asia limits rice exports as prices and uncertainty rise [Christian Science Monitor]

Photo, of barley: Shandchem [Flickr]

Bunch of one-namers, these are. Okay, sort of a lie; Stages is actually Stages Family Restaurant. Chuck Sudo attested to the charm of the Bridgeport diner's open face hot turkey sandwich, which we can confidently report to cost $6.75 and include mashed potatoes and a bowl of soup.

Shochu is a somewhat bigger story, as the New American/Asian small plate lounge in Lakeview opens TO-NITE. It's run by the Deleece people and is the first Chicago establishment to get on the shochu bandwagon. Shochu is a recently popularized 50-proof Japanese alcoholic beverage that's "cool" right now in America. Small plate lounges are also a recently popularized 50-proof Japanese alcoholic beverage that's "cool" right now in America. Um, anyway, here you'll find a handful of Thai curries, some upscale izakaya-style tapas, raw fish in various preparations, and skewers of meat (yakitori) served with any number of fusion-y sauces (blueberry teriyaki! Miso lychee aoili! White soy Dijon vinaigrette! And so forth)

Speaking of skewers, Skewerz! The name doesn't indicate this, but it's a Hawaiian fast food restaurant, opening "hopefully next week" in Wicker Park. Proteins available on a stick include: chilied chicken (with a red & black pepper marinade; four for $7), lemongrass tuna (with a lemongrass emulsion, three for $9), and flank steak (grilled with five spices; four for $8). Each of the aformentioned come with a rice (e.g. jasmine or brown) and a condiment (red curry peanut sauce sounds exciting). They'll be open until 3am on weekend nights, which sounds like the right time for this kind of food.

Finally, everyone else in the world may have known that the Butcher's Dog on Clark and Harrison closed a year ago, but we only found out yesterday that it's been replaced by Villains Bar & Grill. The menu offers nothing you haven't seen before (buffalo calamari for $9, mushroom swiss portobello burger for $10), but vodka drinks are only $3 on Terrible Tuesdays, an appellation we wholeheartedly agree with.

[Photo: grilled lamb chop with mandarin mint salad and white soy dijon vinaigrette at Shochu]

After reading yesterday's item in trade mag Restaurants and Institutions about a drive-through dispute that resulted in a double stabbing in Texas (!?), we got just curious enough to Google the term "fast-food rage" (but without the quotes).

Turns out there are all kinds of examples of idiots wailing on one another while in line or in the parking lots of fast food restaurants. Usually, it seems to have to do with vehicular disputes, more like road rage that happens to be taking place in the parking lot of a McDonalds, though there is this one case in Georgia back in August where a woman got so mad at perceived line-jumping inside the store that she tried to run down a couple outside. Yikes!

But none of these fights seem to stem from the one behavior in fast food restaurants that makes us seriously consider throwing a punch: the jerk who takes too long at the self-serve coffee machine. Seriously, if you don't drop that cream in and mix it as you're walking away so the rest of us can get our fix, we think manhandling you out of there should be a viable option.

But a Google search for "coffee rage" (with and without quotes) turned up only this incident in Boston, to speak of, where a couple of customers got into it in the drive-through of a Dunkin Donuts. Again: road rage, not coffee rage.

People, here this now: You're spinning your wheels fighting each other over French fries and drive-through windows. If a state of terror existed around the self-serve coffee dispenser, the world would be a better place.

Fast food drive-through rage leads to double-stabbing [Restaurants and Institutions]
Fast food flare-up: Possible road-rage at McDonald's [KTVB Idaho]
Angry Woman Gets Revenge At McDonald's [Associated Press]
Food Fights Across Boston [Universal Hub]
Photo: Coffee Rage album cover, lifted from Mad Blasts of Chaos

• PETA offers paltry $1m for construction of artificial meat lab [AP]
• Bad press forces meat industry to support banning downer cows [PE]
• Another cause of the food crisis: structural adj. programs [AllAfrica]
• Congress mad at USDA for sucking, in wake of herapin scandal [VOA]
• In sign of times, McD int'l sales way up, US sales way down [Tribune]

So we called NoMI and got in touch with the pastry chef and was like, "WTF is this?"

And he was French and very nice but also like a lockbox. He confirmed that those gorgeous half-sun wedges are grapefruit (for a moment we thought they were tuna sashimi), and that they're sitting on top of a rectangular prism of basil crème brûlée, but the crumble in between is the greatest mystery since..."Why French Women Don't Get Fat." We know it's some kind of biscuit, i.e. cookie, but exactly what variety is unclear. We're thinking maybe lemon, because that would totally go. Meanwhile, the flutter of whimsy on top is coconut tuile. The dessert is a not-unreasonable $10, and a light and bright way to end a lovely meal.

Mostly, though, we're just suckers for high-quality photography involving fruit.

NoMI [MenuPages]
NoMI [Official Site]

[Photo: Pecan Sandies/flickr]

An intrepid reader, doubtful of our matzo shortage claims, took this damning photo at the Dominick's on Roosevelt and Canal. The barren shelves! What a powerful visual metaphor.

But there's a secondary scandal: the particular box of matzo you see pictured is Streit's Onion-Poppy Moonstrips, which, according to Serious Eats, aren't even Kosher for Passover! A shande, truly.

ZED451, the River North American-style churrascaria is opening tonight to much fanfare. We passed judgment on the restaurant a few weeks ago, contending that it would be a fun place to spend an evening, but the all-you-can-eat meat selection and chef-driven sides would probably never rise above "good enough" at this suburban-origin chain. Gastronomic Bypass was there the other night for their free preview dinner, and pretty much confirmed our suspicions.

So we were somewhat surprised when we got a review this morning entitled "Zed-understanding fine dining!" from Sandra Smith-Doghmi, co-owner of Red Carpet Concierge. She wrote:

From the front door to the rooftop garden the experience was fabulous. Douglas Wickard, GM and his staff welcomed, served and d the ultimate in Chicago Dining! It is compared to dinner at Oprah's home. Buffet style for the first few courses with butlers constantly wandering with rump roast, garlic steak, sirloin, filet, short ribs, orange bbq pork ribs, parmesan crusted pork medallions, grilled chicken breast & legs, citrus salmon and lamb. Oh, and you have to start out with the fondue meats appitizer, the best. Zed definetly offers something unique-beyond compare. A Chicago Concierge

If any actually unaffiliated people make it to ZED451 tonight and love it, please let us know.

ZED451 [MenuPages]
ZED451 [Official Site]
Red Carpet Concierge [Official Site]

[Photo: shiller Sandra Smith-Doghmi, Red Carpet Concierge]

A torrent of articles from around the country have made certain what we noticed anecdotally the other day at the supermarket: America is in the grips of a severe matzo shortage. While there was just enough to go around for seders on Saturday and Sunday nights, observant Jews are scrambling to find supplies of the unleavened bread to sustain them for the rest of Passover, another five or six days of dietary restriction.

Theories for why this is happening this year abound, but are ultimately limited in scope. The aforementioned articles have pointed to recalcitrant retailers like Trader Joe's who have declined to carry matzo this year, stymied suppliers like Manischewitz that couldn't make Tam Tam mini-matzos because of equipment failures, and cantankerous consumers who didn't plan ahead and rushed to buy the limited cache of matzo all at once.

But these explanations ignore the reality that, while matzo is certainly a niche product, what this amounts to, more or less, is a bread shortage. As people around the globe are increasingly — and for many, painfully — aware, the price of wheat has DOUBLED in the past year. Matzo, as you may or may not know, is made of NOTHING BUT wheat! So it costs more to make, and less was made. We're merely implying causality here, but let's put aside our lack of hard evidence and consider the following:

All of a sudden, the people of the developing world are rapidly increasing their average daily calorie intake while the land, water, and energy resources used to grow food products are rapidly diminishing in quantity and quality. The wealthiest ten percent of the world has been materially unaffected by this imbalance, but billions are forced to sacrifice and hundreds of millions are on the brink of starvation. It is unfortunate that the richest decile of the world's population — the people who are in the best positions, politically and economically, to address the food crisis — have little in the way of structural incentives to make the sort of wholesale systemic changes to the global food/energy system that is necessary to ensure sufficient, reliable and equitable supplies of foodstuffs.

Earth Day and Passover are just the kinds of navel-gazing opportunities we need to encourage us to consider how to go about feeding ourselves in this new era of unprecedented high demand and low supply. While many await a technological panacea to rescue us from our present conundrum, no real solution is possible without a shift in attitude by the world's producing class (that, or we could start eating a hell of a lot less meat). The matzo shortage story may not exactly be a warning shot across the bow, but it's certainly a sign that no one's entirely immune to global commodities turmoil.

It’s Passover. Who’s Hiding the Matzo? [NYTimes]
Matzo in short supply for Bay Area Passover [SFGate]
Hit or miss with finding matzo as Passover looms closer [MercuryNews]
As Passover nears, matzo in short supply [Contra Costa Times]
Matzo shortage at many Reno stores looms for Passover [Reno Gazette-Journal]
Price Volatility Adds to Worry on U.S. Farms [NYTimes]
In Lean Times, Biotech Grains Are Less Taboo [NYTimes]
Rising Demand for Meat Takes Toll on Environment [NPR]

[Photo: no more matzo, in any language (missapril1956)]

N.B. Special bonus! There's also a shortage on Kosher-for-Passover margarine because farmers planted ethanol corn in lieu of cotton last year. Hope you like your flourless chocolate cakes dry!

As America gets ahold of itself in the wake of Pope Benedict XVI's recent visit, the time has come for parsing and analyzing every little thing His Holiness did while abroad in our native land. Not the least of these is what he ate.

Last week, former Cardinal John Ratzinger visited the United States for the first time since becoming the Catholic church's 265th pope in 2005. While in New York City, celebrity chef, local restaurateur and cookbook author Lidia Bastianich, along with a team of high-profile chefs cooked for His Holiness. Bastianich emigrated from Italy in 1958, when she was 12, with the help of Catholic Charities. From the New York Daily News:

Bastianich was asked two months ago if she would like to cook for the Pope, and didn't even believe it at first. "I looked around behind me, to see if they were talking to someone else," she says. "The Pope even looks like my father, and I kind of feel as if it's my father coming to dinner. For me, it is an opportunity to welcome someone as family and make the Pope feel comfortable."

You can take a look at the full menu on Serious Eats, as well as some recipes on ABC's website. There's also a website dedicated to the visit with a full roundup. We simply can't imagine the pressure Bastianich must have felt, but she seems to have pulled it off. Congratulazioni, Lidia!

Bastianich plans a meal fit for the Pope [NY Daily News]
Cooking for the Pope: Lidia Bastianich Comes Full Circle [Serious Eats]
Recipes: Cooking For The Pope [ABC]
United States Papal Visit 2008 [Official Site]
Lidia Bastianich [Official Site]
Photo: Nuncatrezeamesa [Flickr]

• Fast food calorie listing rolls out in New York to yawns [NYTimes]
• Food safety art project terror professor's case dismissed [TimesUnion]
• Federal crackdown on raw milk not sitting well with farmers [Tribune]
• WFP: 100m more people on food assistance than six months ago [BBC]
• Slow Food movement looks for a hook in Asia's fast lane [Reuters]
• Matzo shortage raises more questions than it answers [NYTimes]