It's late Monday afternoon and the Taste Of Chicago is in its fourth day already! We thought we'd take a look at what's been written about it so far, and it seems like the lion's share of ink has been spilled by the Tribune, via the Stew. This is really their area.

• The Chicagoist had a preview piece this past Friday, but the content ended up getting overshadowed by commenters being mean to Chuck Sudo over a spelling error. Jeez!

• The Reader's Food Chain forgot to mention the Taste until this special Heads Up extra post from last Thursday (still in plenty enough time, though). The post reminds us about the 800 people who were sickened by Pars Cove's hummus at last year's Taste. Come to think of it, watch those tomatoes!

• Kelly the Culinarian is an enthusiastic proponent of the Taste, dispensing good advice about bringing cash (credit card lines are long), not stopping at the first ticket booth you see (the interior ones are less crowded), bringing your own water (bottles are expensive), and not buying alcoholic beverages (they're a poor value). We think you should bring two bottles of water, but the second one should actually contain vodka. No one will be the wiser!

• MrsJ2004 had a few other observations that we haven't seen elsewhere: the Budweiser Clydesdales were on display (better catch them now before the Belgians turn them into tartare), and the line for free slices of Eli's one ton cheesecake was two blocks — perhaps a quarter of a mile! — long. People are really bad at making time/money calculations when something free is involved...but on the other hand, this particular cheesecake is a Tradition, which often perverts rational behavior.

But the Tribune's At Play team is really the star of the Taste's media show, with eight blog posts on the festival in the past few days, not to mention last week's entire At Play section. Reactions and retractions abound: the team has running, booth-by-booth commentary about each dish*; Monica Eng apologized for some recommendations she made once she actually tasted the stuff, and then provides some helpful hints on how to conduct oneself (by way of having made these mistakes herself); Chris Borrelli summed up all the reasons why people generally avoid the Taste; intern Michael Pasternak has a nice human interest story about the antacid booths like Tums and Ultra Xcid lining the upset stomach of the Taste (fun fact: we have never once experienced heartburn!).

But nobody tops Phil Vettel, right? For two minutes and thirty-eight glorious seconds, Vettel tours around the Taste wearing a hat cam that gives us a "Phil's-eye view" of his lunch, a perspective we only wish was permanently accessible to us. The truly sparkling moment comes when Phil takes a bite of his mixed berry sorbet at Canady le Chocolatier, the squeals of delight betraying an afternoon of scarfing greasy, heavy, crappy food in the heat and humidity. Enjoyable throughout.

And finally, while it's impossible to say what brilliant, unfettered mind concocted this, we're nevertheless thrilled with the unholy mashup of the Talking Heads' "Once In A Lifetime," a poetic response to the rigors of the Taste, and the specter of Phil Vettel, choir person. It is, by far, the most successful piece of media inspired by Taste '08.

[Photo: crayfish boil from Lagniappe, via corsi photo, who took dozens of great photos of the Taste]

* Like with the Chicagoist post, the real story here is in the comments. Three different people asked what "meh" means, as it's used repeatedly in the reviews. Phil Vettel keeps his head and responded with "Meh? 'It’s a verbal shoulder shrug. It’s not great, it’s not awful, it’s…meh.'" We would have gone on a tirade about three-letter Scrabble-valid words and then executed all the offending commenters. Feh!

Remember that trend, over the last year or so, of restaurants moving away from bottled water because it's bad for the environment with all its packaging, not any better than the tap and sometimes even harmful because it often is subject to more lax regulations? Did you think that was going to stick? Come on, how much money is there in not selling something?

This is more like it, from today's Washington Post:

Desalinated seawater from Hawaii, meanwhile, is being sold as "concentrated water" -- at $33.50 for a two-ounce bottle. Like any concentrated beverage, it is supposed to be diluted before drinking, except that in this case, that means adding water to . . . water.

And from Tennessee, a company named BlingH2O -- whose marketing imagery features a mostly nude model improbably balancing a bottle of water between her heel and her hip -- is retailing its water at $40 for 750 milliliters, with special-edition bottles going for $480 -- more than a million times the price of the liquid that comes from your tap.

What's Colorless and Tasteless and Smells Like... Money? [Washington Post]
The snob appeal of tap water [Slate]
Water Sommeliers [Fine Waters]

[Photo: Tap via id/flickr]

• One of Chicago's more successful Peruvian restaurants, Ay Ay Picante impressed Bridget & Tammy enough to earn a 17/20 [Chicago Bites]

• Most of the restaurants participating in Kid's Restaurant Week excreted out the same mac and cheese that parents spend the rest of the year avoiding, but Coco Pazzo Cafe put some effort into it and made real adult dishes tweaked toward younger palates [Drive-Thru]

• For fried chicken without the leaden aftereffects, try Crisp's light and crispy Korean preparation [Chicagoist]

• It's a shame that Drake Bros.' Bookbinders soup is made with red snapper instead of turtle like in good old days, but it's very tasty anyway [Hungry]

• Super-healthy built-to-order salad spot Freshii is a good idea in theory, but the slow service and tasteless results make it less appealing in practice [Stew]

• Early word from graham elliot is, they're still finding their sea legs with respect to service, but you can't argue with their fat, juicy pork chops [Food Chain]

• A fabulous piece of parrotfish, among many other dishes at L.2O, succeeds at impressing...even if the dish's description was overwraught and possibly inaccurate [Food Chain]

• Pairing culinary minimalism with scratch cooking and a sophisticated sensibility about ingredients, Mado has been winning the affection of foodies and the praise of critics in the few months it's been open [Drive-Thru, Gourmet (the latter adapted from TOC)]

• While Margie's Candies may have gotten accolades in Forbes for having the best ice cream in Chicago, our local food corps has vehemently disagreed; just because a place is old and cramped doesn't mean it's great, and did you know that the science of ice cream-making has improved dramatically since the Depression? [Drive-Thru, Serious Eats Chicagoist]

• The vanilla-on-vanilla cupcake at Swirlz Cupcakes disappoints, but specialty flavors like Key Lime make a trip worthwhile [Chicago Bites]

[Photo: wonder what the fortune was...via mousiekm/flickr]

We've all heard Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama is a beer drinker. He sure likes his Pabst Blue Ribbon, at least on the campaign trail. But now word comes that he's actually going to have his own brew. From Chow's Grinder:

In Kenya, Barack Obama’s father’s homeland, they’ve been drinking Obama beer for months, and now one American brewery is offering its own Obama-inspired suds. Brooklyn’s Sixpoint Craft Ales is now brewing small batches of Hop Obama ale, to be available in bars and restaurants in New York and Massachusetts.

Wouldn't it be hilarious (and harmonious!) if Hensley picked up Six Point's Obama brew as a product? Somehow, though, it doesn't appear McCain would approve. Aside from his obvious political differences with the brew's namesake, he's apparently not so hot, in general, on the nation's favorite sudsy treat:

It's going to be a long, weird election season. Better lay in a stock of cold ones early, whatever your brand or distributer.

Punchy, Straightforward, Totally Obama [Grinder]
The Audacity of Pabst: Barack Obama, PBR Lover?
Is Barack Obama the Messiah [Official Site]
McCain beer ties might brew conflicts

• As N. Korea normalizes, food aid flows freely [Reuters]
• Global food export curbs hurt poorest people [UPI]
• Energy efficient milk jugs confound consumers [NYT]
• Artisanal bottled water won't survive peak oil [WaPo]
• What if salmonella wasn't caused by tomatoes? [Bloomberg]

Reviews galore on this, the very last Friday of our employ. Oh yes, it's true; Independence Day will take on a myriad of meanings this year. (Don't worry! We're not abandoning our post for anything less lofty than post-graduate education, with the goal of yet increasing our insufferability.)

But enough about us; Mike Sula, David Hammond, and Pat Bruno have things to say about Pho Xua, Lincoln Korean Restaurant, Taqueria La Oaxaqueña, Ecuador Restaurant, L.2O, and Veerasway, respectively. They will soldier on, sowing the seeds of restaurant knowledge in the rich soils of their Chicagoland readership, whether we're here to criticize them or not. So let's get to it.

While much of the Reader is devoted to Best Of Chicago 2008 this week, there's still an Omnivorous, containing some of Mike Sula and David Hammond's favorite cheap ethnic eats.

Sula shouts out Pho Xua as an alternative to the hegemonic Hai Yen on Argyle Street, and is down with their Chinese-influenced, house-braised pork belly. He finds unusual accessibility at Lincoln Korean Restaurant on...Lincoln, of course, although actually, only 40% of the restaurants in our database with the word "Lincoln" in the name are actually on Lincoln Avenue — the rest are in Lincoln Park. We're escaping our point, though which is that Lincoln Korean has all the authenticity of those Lawrence Avenue no-English DIY places, but with the straightforward ordering process of, say, a Korean restaurant in...Lincoln Park. Finally, Taqueria la Oaxaqueña serves the fine cuisine of Oaxaca (i.e. mole, on rabbit no less!) at truly Mexican prices.

Hammond tell us that Restaurant Ecuador in Logan Square dabbles more in the country's coastal culinary tradition than that of the interior highlands. You can get black clam ceviche there, which is really all you need to know.

Bruno has a two-fer in the Sun-Times today, slobbering all over L.2O — he has good company in this respect — but coming in fourth, doesn't bring much new information to the table. Actually, not true! He's included a glossary of fancy words on L.2O's menu that we can't say we didn't enjoy reading. However, we must take issue with Bruno's theory that L.2O has "what is probably the shortest restaurant name ever;" on the North Side alone one can find Tut, Zia and Zad, and T's puts them all to shame.

Bruno also visits upscale Indian fusion spot Veerasway, which doesn't seem to...resolve its station in life to satisfaction. Like, why is the mutter paneer $14 when it's just peas and cheese? Then again, Bruno doesn't bother telling us how it compares to budget Indian places, so we're not really sure what to make of his judgment in this case. Speaking of, possibly our final pet peeve about Bruno's reviewing style is that he never writes a conclusion to his pieces. They end with the dessert, to be sure, but there's no tying together of the various strains of opinion littered throughout the reviews; the reader needs to have a takeaway, and Bruno never provides a succinct one. This is probably due to the fact that his reviews lack a thesis, generally. Pat, we have no idea if you've ever read any of this, but all we want to do is help!

Okay, have a good weekend; next week, daily teary goodbyes...

Taqueria La Oaxaquena [MenuPages]
L.2O [MenuPages]
L.2O [Official Site]
Veerasway [MenuPages]

[Photo: grilled cactus at Taqueria la Oaxaqueña, via ohtoberich/flickr]

• These tacos will change your life. [MP: Boston]

• French fries are the best sandwich ingredient ever. [MP: Philadelphia]

• Is there any better use of white beans than cassoulet? No. [MP: San Francisco]

• Steak salad with more of the former than the latter? Sign us up! [MP: South Florida]

Leave it to the Ethicurean to turn one of the world's great comedy props into a serious political issue. Dear me, they increase our carbon footprint! Oh, noes, a banana crisis looms! Okay, they had a little help from the stuffy old New York Times, but still, how can anybody stand reading this about Bananas:

The history of the banana is fascinating, involving technological innovation (it’s not easy to bring bananas from the tropics), oppression (terrible labor conditions), geopolitics (the U.S. sponsored overthrow of the Arbenz government in 1954 at the behest of United Fruit), marketing (bananas were too phallic for polite society in the late 19th century, so attitudes needed to be modified), and more.

Snorezville, right? Yes, yes, there are real issues about bananas and their associated republics and also their environmental impact, but what do we cares? It's all about the comedy, right? So just because it's Friday and we like you, reader, here are some videos that remind us where bananas really fit into the national psyche:

The banana telephone bit ranks right up there with pretending to walk down the stairs behind a counter. It's even got its own song:

More after the jump

Here's a gigantic banana scaring mall customers. Would this be as funny if it were a cucumber? No:

You're writing a comedy bit and you don't have a punchline? Just stick a banana in there. Instant funny:

And, of course, slipping on a banana peel!

Finally, the world gets turned upside down:

The banana situation in Montreal [Ethicurean]
The slippery slope of banana disasters [Ethicurean]
Yes, We Will Have No Bananas [New York Times]

• Hezbollah-dominated Beirut eats at 'Buns and Guns' restaurant [AP]
• New Yorkers discover edible comestibles at Disney World [NYT]
• Anheuser-Busch, St. Louis not going quietly in the night [Trib]
• Legendarily cheap Vegas casino food succumbs to reality [LAT]
• Ice cream among many food products threatened by bee die-off [NBC/DC]

The Reader's Best of Chicago 2008 issue came out today, and while we're going to address Omnivorous tomorrow as per usual, it's worth perusing while it's still hot and fresh. Structured not entirely unlike Time Out Chicago's Eat Out Awards, Best Of Chicago gives us the Reader's choice and the readers' choice (clever!) in eighteen categories, including the ever-critical best bathroom (the ladies' room at the Signature Room at the 95th).

The best restaurant overall this year was Khan B.B.Q. according to Mike Sula and Lula Cafe according to the masses; Lula was also the people's choice for best brunch. Throughout the categories, the Reader towed the foodie line while the readers opted toward that which is safe and well-known; the only intersection occurred at best bagel, which everyone agrees is New York Bagel & Bialy in Lincolnwood.

We generally trust the Reader's editorial judgment on these things, though.

Best of Chicago 2008 [Reader]
Khan BBQ [MenuPages]

[Photo: Khan BBQ's vaunted chicken, via Mgmax/flickr]

Former pro wrestler Abdullah the Butcher may just run the coolest restaurant of all time.

It's called Abdullah the Butcher's House of Ribs & Chinese Food. Located in a converted 7-11 on the outskirts of Atlanta, the menu includes everything from rib tip and chicken combo dinners to almond chicken to some killer fish sandwiches. The sides include some great southern greens and, of course, the sweet tea is free-flowing.

The food isn't bad. However, the highlight is the floor show. Unlike some other celebrity restaurant owners, Abdullah (nee Lawrence Shreve) frequently hangs out at his own restaurant. While he's there, the former wrestler lets guests put quarters into his head. You see, Abdullah has deep grooves in his forehead from self-inflicted wounds he gave himself to bleed more in the ring.

Here's what Atlanta alt-weekly Creative Loafing had to say:

The best attraction is Shreve, who is usually present -- and pleasant. He kindly thanks people for coming and eating, hanging out in the dining area smiling and answering questions in his sweet voice.

Abdullah's culinary split personality represented by two registers for orders -- an African-American woman at one, and an Asian woman at the other. If it's busy, line integrity disintegrates and either cashier will take your order. But the duality is strangely disturbing.

Barbecue selections are kept simple: Ribs, rib tips and chicken. The ribs are smoked in a small building next to the main structure. Thankfully, the rib meat is soft, pink and tender. [...] I wasn't at all tempted by the thought of Chinese food at a rib shack. Finally, though, I bit the bullet and ordered a serving of "Abdullah's Favorite" (6.99) from a list that includes standards like kung pao chicken and lo mein. The mix of miniature shrimp, beef strips, green peppers, baby corn, carrots and mushrooms was sauteed in a sweet sauce and served with a side of fried rice. [...] But honestly, it's generic Chinese for the masses -- and like Abdullah himself, it's not half as scary as you might suspect.

Pro wrestling, barbecue and Chinese food? Sign us up.

Abdullah the Butcher's House of Ribs & Chinese Food [WFMU]
Abdullah the Butcher's House of Ribs & Chinese Food [Creative Loafing]

(Photo: Abdullah's House of Ribs via WFMU)

We've got a new record, folks. Chances are, you won't have a hard time reserving a table at the Damascus Gate restaurant in Syria, the newly certified largest restaurant in the world. But God help you if they mix up your order. According to the blog World Amazing Records,

During the busy summer months up to 1,800 staff are employed in the 54,000 sq-m dining area and 2,500 sq-m kitchen. The open air area complete with waterfalls, fountains and replicas of archaeological ruins for the summer, and there are separate themed sections for Chinese and Indian cuisine.

The Damascus Gate, which serves 6,014, replaces Bangkok's Mang Gorn Luang, which only holds 5,000 diners. Talk about your hole in the wall! Check out this BBC video of the new champ.

So yes, it's very big. But is it any good? Well, that was harder to pin down. Two commenters on a Topix post said it was great, and the BBC quoted the manager as saying, "In this part of the world, all people care about is their stomachs, so the food has to be the best." Not exactly a Michelin star, but definitely worth a visit if you happen to be in the neighborhood.

The (Current) Largest Restaurant In The World [Google Sightseeing]
Damascus Gate — The Largest Restaurant In The World [World Amazing Records]
Size is all for Syrian Restaurant [BBC]
Damascus Gate Restaurant [Topix]

[Photo: via World Amazing Records]

The very bestest time of the year is Taste of Chicago, which starts as soon as tomorrow! Phil Vettel reports that this year's Taste will be the biggest, healthiest and greenest one yet, although probably only by the smallest of margins. To help you edit your Taste menu, the Trib's dining staff put out a list of their recommendations, and published a map of the best booths according to Monica Eng's heroic sampling of all 253 dishes at last year's Taste.

All in all, a pretty light week for the Tribune. Seems like the center of gravity has shifted over to the Stew in recent months, where they report actual news like Alinea being named #1 in Zagat's latest survey. The real story here may be located in the URL of that post, which is leisureblogs.chicagotribune.com/thestew/2008/06/judy-this-is-em.html. Judy (Hevrdejs, presumably), this is em...barrassing? Empathetic? Embellished a little? Empty and hollow? Empirically untrue? Each possible permutation is more delightful than the last.

Meanwhile, the main story in Time Out Chicago is about road trips for Midwestern specialty food, which is awesome. Back in the day, we drove six hours round trip to go to the Machine Shed in Davenport for their many preparations of pork and free cottage cheese, but gas only cost $2 a gallon then. Still, if you can get a car full of people in on it, any of the suggested trips would be worthwhile.

New openings include Perennial, a Lincoln Park hotel restaurant with some big names attached, and Angels & Kings in River North, the second branch of a bar co-sponsored by Pete Wentz of all people (the first one's in New York), and not to be confused with the recently opened Wicker Park Mexican restaurant Angels & Mariachis. Or actually, please do confuse them.

Finally, David Tamarkin files a hell of a review for L.2O, the hottest new meal ticket in town. The various complicated and glorious seafood dishes are described in detail, and don't get him started on the macaroons. One does wonder what it takes to get six stars out of six, though, if L.2O only earns five!

Alinea [MenuPages]
Alinea [Official Site]
L.2O [MenuPages]
L.2O [Official Site]

[Photo: skate wing at L.2O, via npinto/flickr]

• S. Korea to accept U.S. beef again; future of gov't unsure [NYT]
• Japanese/Chinese food row reenacted by Olympics team [Reuters]
• Texas Gov. comes out hard against food-crop ethanol [SETR]
• Mars/DoA/IBM to sequence, manipulate cacao genome [WaPo]
• Frozen chickens stolen from NJ food bank found! [NJ]

• The first Hardee's opened in Greenville, NC near the East Carolina University campus.

• Burgers cost 15 cents at that first Hardee's.

• Hardee lost controlling interest of his company after just one drunken night of cards in the early 1960s. He was playing with his two business partners, and he bet his stock. Hardee obviously wasn't a good card player, because by the end of the night, the other two partners owned 51 percent of the company.

• Hardee's is fourth among the fast-food chains in the US, behind McDonald's, Burger King, and Wendy's.

• That Thickburger pictured above packs a whopping 1,420 calories and 107 grams of fat. Eat enough of those and you likely won't live to see 89.

Founder of Hardee's Dies at 89 [ABC News]
Hardee's [Official Site]

Photo: OPBuzz/flickr

• Quote of the day:

"Every time a hearse went down the road, [we thought] 'there went another cherry customer,'" said Don Gregory.

This pearl of morbidity is in reference to the fact that during the 1980s and 1990s, cherry consumption fell off due to lack of demand among younger consumers. But then someone invented a clever way to dry cherries and the whole industry was saved. Hurray for Michigan ingenuity! [Tribune]

• Leah Zeldes has a very good report on the state of the Chicago donut scene, including its origins, paucity, and foci. Extra bonus: the definition of a raised doughnut.

• Bill Daley finds the Americanest of American wines, but notes that almost all the world's varietals are grown here [Tribune]

• Do you know the slight difference between cilantro and culantro? [Tribune]

• Lisa Donovan reports on the magnetic wine ager, but doesn't try it out herself! [Sun-Times]

• John Coletta of Quartino talks about his food-finding trip to Italy, but it comes off sounding boring, and also shilly [Sun-Times]

[Photo: one of the many varieties of culantro, via The Back Forty/flickr]

The British airwaves are no stranger to men kissing one another. Anybody ever heard of a little show called Torchwood? It's strange, then, that the Heinz mayo ad in which a British businessman kisses a New York deli clerk raised such a ruckus that Heinz actually pulled it.

The ad features a stereotypical New York tough guy in the role of "mum," making sandwiches as a family leaves the house in the morning. As the husband rushes out, he plants a kiss on the white-hatted face. Pretty tame stuff, compared to Skins' Maxxie or the "switch-flicking" kiss from Mighty Boosh. It created a huge backlash from hysterical homophobes (including Bill O'Reilly) furious that two men would kiss on the public airwaves. Heinz bowed to the pressure and yanked it.

Then, this morning, the European gay newspaper Pink News reported that 1,300 (more by now) people had signed a petition calling for the ad to be reinstated. Meanwhile, other bloggers are taking (somewhat obviously tongue-in-cheek) pot-shots at the portrayal of the New Yorker in the piece. Phew, this is getting exhausting. Does nobody have a life anywhere?

So what's causing all this commotion? See for yourself:

Lame, eh? Still, if you just can't stand to get back to work yet, and you feel strongly about it, you could sign this pro-"advert" petition.

Heinz pulls mayo ad after complaints [AP]
1,300 sign online petition calling for Heinz gay ad to be reinstated [Pink News]
Heinz Cans Gay Mayonaise Commercial [Epi-Log]

• Food stamps go out to Midwestern flooding victims [Reuters]
• Cashew juice, now for sale, confounds the imagination [NYT]
• Surge of deep-dish pizza to arrive in Iraq for July 4th [AP]
• Monsanto profits soar on yield-bumping weed-killer sales [Bloomberg]
• Florida buys U.S. Sugar to restore 187k acres of Everglades [AFP]

The big news out of the Everglades today is that the State of Florida has purchased U.S. Sugar and its 187,000 acres of prime wetlands for $1.7 billion (are the workers seeing any of it? Of course not). This is a good thing for the environment, since the sugar cane fields block waterflow, release pollutants and generally take up space.

U.S. Sugar is the largest sugar producer in the United States, responsible for 9% of the nation's sweet white powder supply. That's a pretty big proportion, and includes beet sugar production as well. Beet sugar makes up 55% of the crop, leaving cane sugar with 45%. So 20% of our cane sugar's about to go away! Isn't this going to foul up prices?

Short answer: no.

The government has been subsidizing domestic sugar production and putting quotas on sugar imports for many decades now. If we had no tariffs on sugar, we'd be flooded with South and Central American product, prices would plummet and sugar growers around the country would go bankrupt. A very strong lobby has prevented this from happening, but at the beginning of this year, NAFTA kicked in and ended tariffs against Mexican sugar. So why hasn't the U.S. sugar industry collapsed in a sticky white heap?

The answer lies in the 2008 Farm Bill. The provision concerning sugar sends any excesses (which is to say, any amount of sugar that would cause a price decrease through oversupply) to ethanol plants, just like in Brazil.

Problem solved! What NAFTA giveth (to consumers), the Farm Bill taketh away. When 9% of our sugar production goes offline in six years, the difference will simply be made up by Mexican sugar producers, and the price won't budge a cent. The cost of gasoline may go up a little, but what else is new. Did you really think Charlie Crist would have bought the farm if it meant a nationwide rise in sugar prices? That's so sweet.

Florida to Buy Sugar Maker in Bid to Restore Everglades [NYTimes]
U.S. Sugar [Official Site]
Sugar and Sweeteners: Policy [NYTimes]
Cane and beet share the same chemistry but act differently in the kitchen [TIME]
Cane and beet share the same chemistry but act differently in the kitchen [SFChron]
Sugar and Sweeteners: Policy [USDA]
Farm bill improves sugar program [AG Weekly]
Human cost of Brazil's biofuels boom [LATimes]

[Photo: a sugar pyramid scheme, via VsTrash/flickr]

A restaurant can have fabulous food and an awesome atmosphere (bear with us), but snotty service can truly sink the ship. But the converse — where stupendous service solidifies a stellar experience — is just as plausible.

Okay, that was terrible! But the point is, many reviewers latch on to the merits of a particular server or chef, and make them the focus of their reviews. Observe the following three cases:

• On June 18th at the suspicious hour of 3AM, "Gilbert" left a review entitled "Best server" for Smith & Wollensky:

I ate at the Grill at Smith and Wollensky and had the most delightful server, a sincere, funny, intelligent and knowledgable young man named Dan. It was myself and 5 business associates, he knew how to read our table, he knew the menu very well, had many good suggestions. He was attentive but not obtrusive. He was funny and interesting, He made our evening amazing. If you go to Smith and Wollensky be sure to eat in the Grill and make sure Dan takes care of you if he is working that evening...

• A few hours later, "Dionna" implored the world to "Get a Roberto Roll" at Midori:

I previously reviewed this Sushi joint but have decided to add on to it. Robert has been with Midori for almost 19 years and it shows. He's awesome at what he does. He makes this tasty roll called the Roberto Roll that you just have to taste to believe. Please don't ask what's on it. I couldn't tell you. I devour this thing the second the plate is laid in front of me. Spicy, sweet, taste bud popping goodness. I am not just whistling dixie here. You know those times where you take a bite of something and the sides of your cheeks hurt from the flavor pop? This is it. I have never been disappointed dining here. Not once. Also, treat yourself to a Roberto Martini. It's tingly good,too.
I can leave here spending under 20 bucks if I skip the drink but why?

• Finally, in the most shilly-but-probably-not-a-shill review from June 23rd, "Alan" calls Cyrano's Bistrot "A corner of Paris in Chicago":

No matter what city I am in, I always look for a good French restaurant. After having tried six or seven such in Chicago that ranged from mediocre to rather good, I finally hit on Cyrano's. It is not only the best French restaurant in the city, it is one of the best I have found outside of France.
The menu includes more than the touristy type dishes like steaks frites and confit du canard, although they are available as well. Rognons de veau, a connoisseur's delight, is delicious. Chef Didier even promised he would make me coeurs de canard (hearts of duck) if I would call in advance. That is a dish I have seen on a menu and eaten only once- in a restaurant in Nantes.
The wine list is just the right size and features many selections from chef Didier's home region of Languedoc. The prices are reasonable and the service friendly and personable without being intrusive. The atmosphere is authentic and convivial, a little corner of Paris in the heart of Chicago, but well away from too touristy Michigan Avenue.

1) No shill for a French restaurant is so masochistic as to deride their steak frites and confit du canard, even as obliquely as this

2) The reference to Nantes' duck hearts is too awesome for a shill to generate

3) Trustable people en masse (i.e. LTHForum) seem to like Cyrano's

4) Okay, the namecheck of Languedoc is a bit suspect, but whatever

We're satisfied that "Alan" is satisfied.

Smith & Wollensky [MenuPages]
Smith & Wollensky [Official Site]
Midori [MenuPages]
Cyrano's Bistrot [MenuPages]
Cyrano's Bistrot [Official Site]

[Photo: a pile of duck hearts in China, via tconn1/flickr]

The latest all-time favorite sci-fi based cake showed up on Boing Boing today, linked from Craftster:

Are you seeing that? It's a Doctor Who TARDIS cake! That's right, a British Craftster member named Umbrolly made this for her little sister because her little sister, a big Doctor Who fan, is the luckiest girl in the world. If you follow the link, you'll get step-by-step photos. It appears this cake suffers from some structural problems incurred by being too moist. According to its maker, "I have learned form making this that randomly shaped things are much easier than square things, and even though moist cake tastes better it does tend to collapse."

Well, this is still a brilliant job, and it's a lot more ambitious than the Torchwood cake we couldn't help searching for after seeing it. It does, however, face some competition from this professionally made Dalek cake.

Just for fun, check out the Timelords/KLF Doctorin' the Tardis music video after the jump.

Dr Who TARDIS Cake [Craftster]
Torchwood cake [Rachaely/Flickr]
Dalek cake [Gallifreyan Embassy]

• Food voucher giveaway sparks mini-riot in Milwaukee [AP]
• 17 states require insurance to cover eating disorders [Trib]
• Youth exposure to alcohol advertising on TV increases [NYT]
• Brazil's biofuel farmhands treated predictably poorly [LAT]
• Chinese fast food market splintered but surging [Reuters]

"I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent and of human knowledge that has ever been gathered together at the White House — with the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone." -John F. Kennedy, addressing Nobel Prize winners at the White House in 1962

Have you ever had that thing happen where you're listening to your headphones or something and you hear a word and right as you hear the word in the song your eyes happen to fall on that word in print, passing by on a bus ad or something, and you muse to yourself, "it's a living world. What a miracle," and then turn your eyes back ahead and resume standing in line at the bank?

Well, a similar thing just happened with this article in Epicurious. I was just explaining to a friend how pleasant it is to go to the movies alone, and comparing it with the equally unpleasant act of dining out alone, when Heather Tyree's essay on dining alone came across the RSS and chopped my words up, sauteed them lightly in a nice cream sauce, and fed them to me with a side of crow.

Because Tyree is right. Dining out alone can be one of life's true pleasures. It allows you to focus on, well, whatever you want, be it the food, a book, a tough problem you've been trying to crack, or even your server. You certainly don't have to watch where you take the conversation, or hold back from pouring that next glass of wine, or refrain from eating the last bite of something.

And it turns out that many higher-end restaurants (including Daniel, according to Tyree) give solo diners VIP status. It's unclear why, exactly, but my guess is that it has less to do with pity than it does an appreciation of the fact that the customer decided to undertake this socially uncomfortable excursion because he or she wanted the restaurant's food just that badly.

Whatever the reason for the solo meal, or the treatment it incurs, Tyree's article left me with the strong desire to dine alone at an establishment somewhat fancier than the corner deli. It's a challenge, yes, because the practice is stigmatized as pathetic, lonesome and weird. But it's good for you, and not in a broccoli way, either (something you glumly consume because you think you have to). Dining alone should be savored.

I've never done it by choice, but on trips or in other necessary situations, I've always enjoyed the practice. Tyree's article was enough encouragement for me to resolve to take myself out on a proper date. It's an exercise from which we could all stand to benefit, as it encourages being comfortable with one's self, one's surroundings and one's place in the big, living world.

Table for One [Epicurious]

[Photo: The Jefferson Memorial — Thomas Jefferson silhouetted via David Paul Ohmer/flickr]

We're currently in the middle of another one of those five-minute long vegetable seasons that gets foodies' motors running at high RPMs. This time it's scapes you'll find making a cameo at the green market.

According to the Accidental Hedonist, "scapes are those long, smooth, curly green things. They are the tops of garlic and farmers cut them off so that the plant grows the garlic bulb instead of a garlic flower." This is the kind of thing that would, up until people like you started developing a taste for interesting vegetables and plants, have gotten thrown out with the wheat chaff and the corn stalks. New York Times writer Melissa Clark related the following tidbits from her search for scapes:

My urgency amused Bill Maxwell, of Maxwell Farms in Changewater, N.J., who, after telling me to cool my heels until mid-June, offered a pearl of scapes insight.

Although they’ve been gaining a following over the last few years, he said, scapes came to market “when someone figured out they could make money from something they were cutting off the garlic plant and getting rid of.”

Peter Hoffman, the chef at Savoy, added, “At some point someone realized the scapes were tender and delicious.” He suggested that I sauté them with other vegetables or soft-shell crabs, or even grill them whole to show off their curves.

Clark offers a few scape and green-garlic recipes in the Times piece, but almost more informative were her descriptions of how she came to use the short-lived greens. The kind of food writing that includes not just the recipe/prep process, but the thought process that led to the recipe, always makes a project more attractive, and Clark offers plenty such insight.

Of course, not everybody has the time to experiment with weird, hyper-seasonal veggies. It's better to let professionals handle that kind of thing anyway. You could use the MenuPages find-a-food search to see if any restaurants in the area have added scapes to their menus.

However you get ahold of them, you'd better act quickly, because these fleeting greens will be off the shelves in a matter of weeks, not to return till next year.

Scrapes on the bar-b [Accidental Hedonist]
A Garlic Festival Without a Single Clove [NY Times]

[Photo: iLoveButter/flickr]

Everyone seems to be craving Middle Eastern food this week!

• Albany Park's Al-Khayameih not only serves some of the best Lebanese food in the city, they do it with flair [Chicagoist]

• A new chef and a revamping of the menu at Ben Pao doesn't take away from the fact that the BBQ pork is fabulous, and relatively authentic to boot [Chicagoist]

• While not breaking new culinary ground, Bluebird does a good job with small plates, has a wide selection of beverages and attentive service [Gastronomic Bypass]

• Very new Albany Parker Dawali Mediterranean Kitchen is still finding its desert legs, but the schwarma's pretty decent [Food Chain]

• Much-hyped Epic Burger in the South Loop has fancy ingredients, but the burger has trouble living up. Decent value, though [Food Chain]

• At the soft opening of Melman spawns' Hub 51, exactly the type of industrial hip sophisticated comfort food you'd expect. But good! [The Stew]

• Everyone loves the moles at Mixteco Grill, including Bridget & Tammy. Dessert's also recommned, and it's BYO (17/20) [Chicago Bites]

• Persian stalwart Noon O Kabab gets very high marks from Bridget & Tammy for their kabobs and other delicacies (18/20) [Chicago Bites]

[Photo: the Chicago River's very own alligator, via Sun-Times. You can eat them, you know!]

• India losing ability to feed itself [NYT]
• Candy business booming in tough times [AP]
• UK: GMO not necessarily the solution [TPA]
• Corn growers on HFCS charm offensive [WSJ]
• For fast food, a globalized future [BSun]

A little cheap receipt humor for your Friday afternoon? Sure, why not! Most of these are pretty base, but oh well. Enjoy!

• Sticky Rice w/ Mango, via Aysha Photography:

It gets much worse after the jump...

• Shitake Nigiri, via kingjen:

• Fifteen Extra Bacons, via avikovacevich:

• Fresh Young Coconut Juice, via UBigDummy:):

• Heaven is cheap, via Kris Kumar:

• Land O' Lakes Butter, via simplygeeky:

• Small Root Beer, via Golden Iris:

• Plate of fries, via JuliaHen:

• Dungeness Crab Salad, via Andrew Huff:

• Fetish coffee, via Neven Mrgan:

Don't you feel uplifted? Have a good weekend.

[Photos: Flickr]

• Can we interest you in a hot fudge sundae? [MP: Boston]

• What about a lovely cheeseburger dress? [MP: Chicago]

• Maybe some melted cheese curds? [MP: Philadelphia]

• Or some exemplary iced coffee? [MP: San Francisco]

• Eh, let's just have some organic ice cream. [MP: South Florida]

Do you know what today is? Correct, it's Friday. It's also the first day of summer. It's also just about the summer solstice. This is a big day that calls for more than just a video blog post. It calls for several videos, all about ice cream!

First, you're going to need protection: Ali G's got you covered (this video is pretty much safe for work, but don't show it to your kids; here's some language):

Awesome. After the jump: Wu-Tang clan and

Here's what you need protection from. Creepy!

And finally, though not ice-cream-related at all, here's my favorite summer song, complete with dancers who look like they just stepped out of a Baskin Robbin's case:

Pat Bruno has a monumentally boring review of Topaz Cafe in Burr Ridge. It's a Contemporary American with a little flare! Everything's delicious! And so forth.

But the Sun-Times' relationship with Centerstage, rarely highlighted, saves the day; Mike Nagrant has a useful feature on where tourists should actually eat as opposed where they were planning to eat. Dozens of mediocre, overpriced meals might be avoided because of this!

Meanwhile, several new reviews from the Reader. First, Anne Spiselman reviews Jack Rabbit, a new southwestern restaurant in Lincoln Square with big portions of inconsistent quality. We'd never heard of it, because that location seems to get a new restaurant every few months; Spiselman's not sure how long this one will stick around, either. But they have a website and serve brunch, so maybe there's a chance yet.

Mike Sula revisits Avenues, now that Graham Elliot Bowles is off somewhere and Curtis Duffy (formerly of Alinea) has taken the reigns. Sula points out that Bowles is a tough act to follow, but finds that Duffy is doing an admirable job of keeping Avenues avant-garde and delicious. Note that this opinion runs contrary to Heather Shouse's line, but maybe things have shaped up in the past two weeks? Both think that the restaurant is probably overpriced.

And then, the claws come out. Sula rips into ZED451, the all-you-can-meat suburbo-rama in River North. We've been a bit catty on the restaurant ourselves, and even Pat Bruno didn't like it (David Tamarkin thought it was okay). But all this pales in comparison to Sula's visceral loathing of the place, which certainly seems to fall into the substance-over-style trap. Much of the review is quotable, but perhaps this sums it up best:

This is the human counterpart to confined animal feeding operations, the industrial meat (and shit) factories that supply the sort of unexceptional product served here.

[Photo: a feedlot, via Socially Responsible Agriculture Project]

• Several top aides sacrificed in S. Korea beef row [Bloomberg]
• House might add $1.25B in emergency food aid [Reuters]
• Following floods, agr. stocks in the toilet [CNN]
• Hair in the steak today, gone tomorrow [Tribune]
• McDonald's dieter story finally hit the wires [AP]

Two interesting tidbits we came across while putting some new menus online for you:

1) The mother-in-law is an ostensibly South Side (also, Mississippian) concoction involving tamales, chili and hot dog buns, and often all three. The gut-buster got some coverage recently because of the Southern Foodways Alliance's tour of Chicago in May, which was written about in the Sun-Times and Reader. One of the points made in the Sun-Times article is that mothers-in-law are all but impossible to find on the North Side:

[Chicago food historian Peter] Engler is convinced the mother-in-law is a South Side phenomenon, just like bad bad Leroy Brown.

"I made a concerted effort spending a couple of days going all over the North Side asking about mother-in-laws," said Engler, who worked in mouse genetics at the University of Chicago between 1988 and 2007. "Nobody knew. It's not on any menu."