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If the Slow Marketplace was the centerpiece of this weekend's Slow Food Nation event, then the Taste Pavilion was the main course. Ambling through For Mason for the evening session, fellow MenuPages blogger Alexis Wright, her "Sweetie," and third wheel yours truly, prepared to be overwhelmed.

Even before the massive, Fort Mason exhibition hall loomed into sight, we knew we were in for the kind of treat you have to work at. Lines ruled the day, and were overwhelming at first, but after suffering through a couple, it turned out most went pretty fast, and they all had a lovely payoff.

By now you've probably seen a good few photos of Saturday's Taste Pavilion, thanks to intrepid reporters at Eater SF, and the Slow Food Nation flickr pool. What's that? You just can't get enough? Great, here are some more photos and maybe an anecdote or two, after the jump.

I made a bee-line past the gigantic pizza line, the beer tent, and the Native American foods outside, determined to get the lay of the land. But before I could get 20 feet from the door, I ran into my old buddy Michelle Fuerst, of Homemade, who curated the pickle booth. Here she is doing her job, explaining pickles to a couple interested patrons:

And here is a plate of those wonderful, briney treats:

I wandered a little further, bouncing back and forth, clutching my "Slow Dough" and wondering where to spend it first (er, second, as I had just used it to dabble in picklology). Then I saw this guy:

That's Ed Ueber, a retired marine biologist and friend of the owners of Monterey Fish Market, in Berkeley. And that behind him is one hell of a bounty from the sea. The fish section turned out to be great, with a trio of little bites that included squid, a sardine on toast, and a pate:

Next, I wandered past the cocktail bar, where this dude was making a hell of a racket slapping, shaking, and generally molesting a collection of herbs that would eventually become some dynamite drinks. He's Carlos Yturria, and he manages the bar at Bacar:

The cocktail area turned out to be a riot, and a great value in terms of Slow Dough, basically the currency of the event. Admission included 20 "dollars" in the form of little circles that got scratched off at each tasting area. Some things took one, some two, and some three circles. Cocktails, surprisingly, only went for one circle for as many as you wanted.

Below is Lance Winters, distiller at Alameda's St. George Spirits, and the guy responsible for the United States' first domestic brand of absinthe in, like, forever. He's been making the stuff for his own use for about 11 years, he said, using organic wormwood from a supplier in Oregon and one in Davis.

He explained that absinthe turns cloudy in water because it secretes essential oils that are soluble in alcohol but not in water. "As we add water, they start to come out of solution in the form of little droplets. That's the cloudiness," he said. This guy loves his absinthe (can you tell?):

The cocktail section was pleasantly uncrowded, but that cannot be said about most of the event. Here's the line for the cheese plates:

This apparently wrapped around the outside of the building, at its height. By the time I took a stab at it, it was just poking out that side door. It was funny how quickly this room, like probably any long-ish assembly, developed its own culture. One overheard people talking about the cheese line in awed voices, and it soon became shorthand to refer to a member of your party who would be indisposed for a while.

It was worth it, though. That cheese was damned good. I ate mine before I even remembered to take a picture of it, but here's what it looked like in the case:

Another killer line formed at the pizza stand out front. Fortunately, Laverne Dicker and her comrades at the Bread Bakers Guild of America were there with bread sticks to stave off the hunger pangs:

There was so much bread at this place. They didn't just have it for eating, but also for making gigantic snail sculptures. Here's Alexis taking in the last rays of sun out in the Hall of Bread:

Finally, we had a great time sampling coffee under the tutelage of Edwin Martinez, a coffee farmer from Guatemala who was up for the event. His Finca Vista Hermosa, in Huehuetenango, provides beans for Barefoot Coffee Roasters, among others. He was loving pulling people out of the coffee line for special tastings:

And that was about it. For some reason, none of my charcuterie shots came out really well. Fortunately, though, Alexis and I double-teamed the coverage. Check back tomorrow for her more in-depth account of the evening, and still more photos, courtesy of "Sweetie."

A lot of cool stuff happened this morning as my old pal Kim Cuddy and I set out to take a tour of San Francisco's Alemany Farm. The only Slow Journey that was both free and didn't involve going anywhere (or anywhere you couldn't get to on BART), this was for me.

As we tromped through the bushes on the hillside above the farm, lost, but navigating by the landmark windmill, Kim stopped to eat blackberries that grow wild there. We were already late for the tour, so what the hell:

You couldn't get more in the spirit of Slow Food Nation than this place. A former San Francisco League of Urban Gardeners sight, the couple-acre patch just off Interstate Highway 280 and Alemany Boulevard was first plowed in 1995. Since then it's been known as St. Mary's Youth Farm, SLUG, an abandoned lot, and, since 2005, the independent Alemany Farm. It's a prime example of a piece of urban land transformed into the city's own salad bowl.

Once we made it through the gate, Kim and I took a partially guided tour of the farm's crops, corners, and crannies. Check it out, after the jump.

A lot of what Alemany Farm does is experimental. Antonio Roman-Alcala pointed out that people are less inclined to grow their own grains because grain crops are perceived as being space-inefficient. So the farm is growing a row of maiz corn right now, just to see how many tortillas they can get out of it:

Antonio showed us the rows of tomatoes and strawberries that are being dry-farmed. The leaves are limp from lack of water, but the fruits lay heavy and turgid on the ground.

He talked about the olive trees on the farm's east side that have borne a total of four fruits — that's going to take some experimentation to fix. There's an ongoing battle with gophers, who the farm refuses to poison.

"There's a few hawks that hang out here — some kestrals and some red-tails... There are feral cats, but they seem to coexist with the gophers," Antonio said.

As Antonio led the group through the farm's crops, Kim gave me a look. "I'm tired of being in this tour group. You think we can go explore?"

"Sure, why not?" I said. We tromped up a hill to the small cluster of fruit trees, where we found a bush/tree thing laden with apples.

How do we know these ugly things are apples? Because this hilarious thing happened: As we waded through the brown grass on the hillside, I began to get nervous. "You think we should be up here?" I said.

"I don't know. Hey, what are these weird fruits? You think they're apples or pears?" Kim said.

"Um, pears, maybe?"

"I'm going to eat one," Kim said. I got nervous, thinking how embarrassing it would be when Antonio came running over, red-faced with frustration at the weekend warriors destroying his crops. The guilt flowed.

"They're apples," Kim said, suddenly flush with knowledge. "Here, Adam, eat this apple."

I did, and with that bite, I lived up to my namesake.

We wandered further and found the beehives kept by the San Francisco Beekeepers' Association, which partners with Alemany Farm:

We found a cracked, paved path leading to a small, shaded grove. "I'll come here and read sometime," Kim announced. We saw this butterfly:

Kim, who has a stong affection for kale, based on a recipe for "kale slaw" that she loves, got really excited about this little volunteer. "It's rogue kale!" She exclaimed:

Finally, it was time to re-join the tour group and, shortly, the real world. The cars that zoom by within yards of the farm belie its tranquility. For me, I've seen that "SLUG" windmill everytime I've driven down 280, and never seen what's under it. If slow food is about making food into a respite from the crush of modernity, then Alemany Farm really does represent the essence of that movement. It's really too bad we had to leave before lunch, but hey, blogs don't update themselves. Here's what we missed:

Well, there's plenty to eat at the Tasting Pavilion, which is where I'm headed now. As always, check back for updates.

Friday was one packed day. In addition to a panel discussion full of zingers and insight, Slow Food Nation got started with the taste pavilions, a day's worth of slow tours and of course, the Slow Marketplace and Victory Garden. This is where I spent the morning, eating, chatting and generally hobnobbing with friend and impromptu guide, the Tablehopper, Marcia Gagliardi.

We met up in the Victory Garden, which splays out in front of City Hall for an entire block, full of circular planters like these:

Tons more photos after the jump...

Breakfast consisted of one of Scott Peacock's ham biscuits:

And a half a mufaletta sandwich from Salumi Artisan cured meats, of Seattle. Marcia, who spent her New Orleans vacation wandering around and tasting mufaletta, declared it excellent:

As we sat on our hay bale, chatting about this and that, the conversation turned to what you can and can't get to eat in New York. Our bale-mate swiveled his head and announced, "I was never able to get a really thick milkshake there. They turn the machine on and walk away for five minutes, and by the time they get back, it's chocolate milk." He's never been to the Shake Shack, he said, but then, he's from the Midwest, so he knows from milkshakes.

This turned out to be Barry Foy, author of the soon-to-be-released Devil's Food Dictionary, polishing off a plate of tlacoyos. I asked him what he was looking forward to eating this weekend. "I always make a bee-line for the cured meats," he said. I'll go to the end of the line and start over if I have to." Look out, Taste Pavilion — get that second salumi ready.

After picking up a New Orleans Iced Coffee from the Blue Bottle stand, we took a stroll through the marketplace:

We met all sorts of folks selling all sorts of food, like Pierre Bellevue, of Pan-O-Rama breads, whose gigantic loaf seems to have eclipsed his head-shot. Sorry Pierre, but what do you expect with bread like this?:

We did manage to get a shot of James Freeman, of Blue Bottle, as we thanked him for the pick-me-up. He was pushing Blue Bottle's Huehuetenango Highland coffee, from Guatemala:

Even though we were full of mufaletta and ham, Marcia and I couldn't help salivating at the rich, red tomatoes on display from Blue House Farm. They're dry-farmed, owner Ryan Casey told me, with a little help from the coastal fog and clay-rich soil:

Another mouth-watering dry-farmed product sat right next to the glowing pile of tomatoes. These apples come from Sebastapol, where husband and wife Paul and Kendra Kolling run the farm Nana Mae's Organics. Volunteer Keith Borglum presided over the pile:

Marcia and I enjoyed a sample of a surprisingly rich peach cobbler-type-thing made with Massa Organics rice:

For some reason I thought the J&P Organics sign was hilarious. Hey, dudes, you're way closer than a quarter-mile. Here's JP himself humoring a tired blogger:

Finally, we had a laugh with Dee Harley, a friend of Marcia's, who runs Harley Farms Goat Dairy in Pescadero. She showed off her new credit-card-swiping-thing, which she said was the smartest investment she had made in preparation for this market. But I don't know. That title could conceivably go to the goats who squirted out what would become this cheese. It's heavenly:

And then it was time for us to go our separate ways, I to the Food for Thought discussion, and Marcia to own this freaking town as the queen of food news and gossip. But not before posing for a couple of photos of ourselves. See if you can guess who's who:

By the way, yes, that is an upside down bus stacked on top of a right-side-up one to make one weird double-decker. It belongs to a group called the Whitehouse Organic Farming Project, or, awesomely, The Who Farm.

That's all for now. Check back for photos of Alemany Farm, the Taste Pavilion, and whatever pops up.

Today's Food For Thought panel discussion, "Re-Localizing Food," was interesting, yes, entertaining, for sure, but almost totally devoid of surprises. Did you know that Michael Pollan is in favor of using sustainable farming techniques and growing food closer to home? Why yes, actually. Did you also know that Winona LaDuke thinks people like those on her White Earth Indian Reservation deserve better access to fresh, local food? Yes, you probably did.

But underlying what might be characterized by the cynical as a one long choir-preach, we found a lovely surprise: These folks are funny. Sure, the humor is a little NPR-ish, but the zingers were not sparse among the four panelists as they rapped on their favorite issues, fielding questions and egging each other on.

LaDuke, an economist, Native American rights activist and former Green Party vice-presidential nominee, got a big laugh — and an appreciative round of murmurs — when she pointed out that the root of word colonization is "colon," meaning, to digest, as in, “how one dominant system digests other systems.” Zing! okay, maybe you had to be there.

But then Gary Nabhan, founder of Renewing America’s Food Traditions (RAFT), responded, “remember that Christopher Columbus, in Spanish, is called “Cristobal Colon... You might call his discovery of America 'The Great Colonoscopy.'” Whoa, where did that come from? These guys are on fire.

Later, as the discussion touched on environmental damage, Michael Pollan, author of Omnivore's Dilemma and, most recently, urged eaters to "vote with their forks," for local food, pointing out that, “the very idea that California exports water to New York City in the form of tomatoes is completely hilarious.” Yes, for some reason, in the context, it was.

As panelists mused on how to make fresh, local, organic produce available to people of limited means, Blue Hill restaurant and Stone Barn farm honcho Dan Barber played the straight man. "Did you have anything to add, Dan?" moderator and Saveur editor James Oseland asked, by way of drawing the farmer-cum-restaurateur out a little. "Being the guy who charges $40 for an entree?" Barber tossed back, "No."

Barber found more of a voice when the topic turned to the highly charged issue of Foie Gras, which Blue Hill has stopped serving, but which he loooooves. He talked about visiting a farm where the geese are treated so well that wild geese have been known to drop out of the sky to join them. A super-humane foie gras farm, you ask? No, really.

It turns out that geese naturally stuff themselves late in the fall to get ready for the winter. At some point during this gorging, they get about as rich and lethargic as those force-fed on industrial foie-gras farms. That's when they go to slaughter, and eventually to mini-toasts. Barber could barely restrain his enthusiasm (and saliva, maybe, but I was too far back to tell), as he described a flock of migrating birds settling in with the domestic flock, who are free to leave if they wish. "I’m listening to this guy, he’s like the goose whisperer," Barber said of the farmer.

“So you’re going to serve, now, certified volunteer foie gras?” quipped Pollan.

But, of course, the hilarity had to end sometime, even as LaDuke pondered the idea of eating 5 million pounds of wild rice. "I could try, but it might make more sense to trade with, say, the lemongrass people… I don’t know who the lemongrass people are…”

Okay, that last one was a bit insider-y, but fear not, dedicated slow-foodist. Video and audio of this and all the panels will be available through Slow Food Nation later this week, and of course, we'll link it all right here.

Food For Thought [Slow Food Nation]
Michael Pollan [Official Site]
Winona LaDuke [Wikipedia]
Gary Nabhan [Official Site]
Dan Barber [Blue Hills at Stone Barn]
James Oseland [Official Site]

We can sort of see where they're coming from — we're out of the office as of about four seconds after hitting "publish" on this post, and we'll be celebrating the long weekend in style (there is a brisket involved). We'll be back on Tuesday, rip-roaring to go on whatever delights a new week will bring. (Gebert vs. Levine, round 3? Tag team with Adam Kuban and the LTHers?! A girl can dream!)

In the meantime, MP:SF editor Adam Martin will be filing regular dispatches from Slow Food Nation. Read them slooooooowly. Alice Waters would want it that way.

[Photo via spastic_drama_nerd's Flickr]

So far in our slow food coverage we've brought you a telephone conversation with director Anya Fernald, a telephone conversation with Michael Pollan, and plenty of writing in italics. That's fine and everything, but this junk is actually starting! Let's get off the phone and into the field.

You can find updates throughout the day here. Meanwhile, you may be interested in some of the chatter going on elsewhere about the "largest celebration of American food."

• Eater SF has sneak-peak photos of the Taste Pavilions. These are the big free sample extravaganzas that also include the Green Kitchen demonstrations. Looks extravagant!

• Serious Eats posted an open letter from Ed Levine to Alice Waters and Slow Food Nation, in which he makes a good point about an important issue conspicuously absent from this weekend's hustle and bustle.

• Finally, the San Francisco Chronicle is all over this story, including a Slow Food-related cocktail roundup and a Michael Bauer blog account of last night's kickoff dinner.

Shoot, it's creeping up on lunchtime. I'm going to go eat.

OSBMS's Omnivorous column this week gives us a look at the life of Bob Schwartz, author of the forthcoming Never Put Ketchup on a Hot Dog (Chicago's Books Press, due out in September).

Schwartz is the “official schmoozer” for Vienna Beef, as well as the founder of their online hall of fame, and he really loves his job. Vienna is unlike the other mega-hot-dog companies in that they focus almost exclusively on independent-vendor contracts (hence their lack of presence at, say, a ball game, but their street-cart ubiquity), and Schwartz's appreciation for the independent vendor is clear:

“I find that not having been born in Chicago gives me a better sense of this,” he says. “It’s kind of like they say a blind person has better senses. It just has impressed me so much that when people go into a hot dog stand they feel that it is a part of their life. That they have ownership of that—something that doesn’t exist in your chains and your other restaurant concepts that are out there.”

The Local Wiener [Reader/Omnivorous]

[Photo via specialkrb's Flickr]

There's a fishtank in the bathroom at L.2O that's only for sea plants. But it recently spontaneously acquired a guppy.

Cutest. Mystery. Ever.

Under Water [L2O blog]
L2O [MenuPages]
L2O [Official Site]

[Photo via brentlovesblythe's Flickr]

• Remember the salad days of college, when all you could afford were burritos? [MP: Boston]

• It's a bittersweet week for our Chicago editor, as her little brother/party correspondent heads off to college. [MP: Chicago]

• Let it be known: The Wire is well-missed. [MP: Philadelphia]

• Aww. Mexico's president misses his momma's mole sauce. [MP: San Francisco]

• The entire MenuPages family misses instant messaging with our South Florida editor, who spent the week in Korea. Also, we are jealous. [MP: South Florida]

Who knew!? Each of the five locations of Sopraffina is committed to being green: they use 100% biodegradable cups and plasticware, among other things.

Too bad the city of Chicago's landfills can't acommodate them.

Local restaurant meets unforeseen challenge in going green [Medill Reports]
Sopraffina [MenuPages]
Sopraffina [Official Site]

Oh snap, indeed! Serious Eats responds to Gebert! Burgermeister Adam Kuban clarifies that the SE team realizes Ed's blind spot when it comes to Chicago pizza — that's why they have Daniel Zemans (of Chicago Pizza Club, among other things) doing their Chicago pizza reviews. Kuban goes on:

I don't think what Ed made clear is that, for upcoming Serious Eats City Guides, we've been working with local writers for their take. So future City Guides will be every bit as authoritative as Ed's was with New York.

I'd feel confident working my way through [Gebert's list], given his background.

Windy City Food Writer: 'Ed Levine Has a Blind Spot for Chicago Pizza' [Slice/Serious Eats]
DeathMatch: Mike Gebert vs. Ed Levine [previously]

[Photo via hans_s's Flickr]

Okay, first of all, the front page of the Tribune's website is all "Source: Sarah Palin is John McCain's pick for vice president" and we are all OH MY GOD WE NEED SOME CONFIRMATION OVER HERE. We're sure you already know this, but Palin was the first runner-up in the 1984 Miss Alaska competition. That picture to the left there? That's her.

But the food! Yesterday's TOC double-header knocked the Tribune's Thursday dining roundup to today. Forgive us? You do? Oh yay!

• This week's special feature comes to us courtesy of Joe Gray, and it's a roundup of brewpubs in the greater Chicagoland area (we love using that phrase, we feel so Your Local Lincoln-Mercury Dealership). He goes in a loop from Northwest Indiana up along the lake: new kid Crown Point and old hat Three Floyds, both in the Hoosier state; Flossmoor Station in the South suburbs (what is up, place we went to high school!); and city-proper favorite Moonshine. We realize it is breakfast time, but hot damn, the things we would do for a brat and a beer right now. [Tribune]

• Christopher Borrelli sits down with Steve Dubianca, a.k.a. The Waiter — the guy behind titillating website waiterrant, who's now written a book. It's standard "be nice to your waiter or he'll spit in your food" fare, but with the added immediacy of being written by a guy who's apparently done plenty of spitting (metaphorical, if not literal). Dubianca tells us to walk into a restaurant "smiling and laughing," so our waiter won't hate us. We are kind of bored by this, to be totally honest. [Tribune]

As for actual pass-judgment-on-food-service-emporia reviews!

• Trine Tsouderos (she has such an awesome name, doesn't she?) is in Forest Park this week, checking out new gelato joint Paciugo (7510 Madison St., Forest Park, 708 366 6080). A roundup of hypergourmet, avant-garde flavors (Black Pepper Olive Oil, Strawberry Celery Sorbet, Mediterranean Sea Salt Caramel) pull in the headlines (and manage to pull off their unexpected flavors with aplomb, no less), but it's the more classic fare that really earns the gelateria its stripes: Amarena Black Cherry Swirl is "aromatic, tart" and there's a "sticky-sweet" S'mores. [Tsouderos, Tribune]

• And finally! Phil Vettel is at — have you heard of this place? — Hub 51, which is owned by these sons of some dude, or something. Vettel quickly dissects the restaurant's clientele into two categories: (1) Friends of Rich Melman, who are supporting his son's venture the same way your dad's old golfing buddy offers you a summer internship with his accounting firm; and (2) young trendoids who follow the buzz, regardless of the quality of the food. Besides his judgment of the clientele, Vettel is markedly more generous to the lateste LEYE venture than have been those reviewers that came before. Maybe it's because R.J. and Jerrod have read what Shouse et al have had to say ("serve better food, please" seems to be the refrain) and have instructed the kitchen accordingly, or maybe it's because Vettel is more forgiving of "downright boring" pork, or is blinded by the glitter of clever dishes like "crackling peanuts," (ground peanuts mixed with Pop Rocks, which we are totally making at home), but he hands the place two stars, seemingly without too much justification. [Vettel, Tribune]

[Photo: Sarah Palin, First Runner-Up Miss Alaska, 1984, via BeldarBlog]

Not one to stand for such gastronomic sacrilege (seriously!), Gebert decided to take matters into his own hands, issuing a best-of-Chicago in the scant few hours between leaving his first comment on our post, and, um, leaving his second one.

Read it here. We can't say we agree with all his choices (really, is there ever unanimity when pizza is involved?), but we certainly applaud his gumption.

Serious Eats Rounds Up The Best [previously]
But Seriously… My Serious Eating Guide [Sky Full of Bacon]

[Photo: Gebert vs. Levine (but who is who?!) via hans_s's Flickr]

• Good news: it looks like the salmonella outbreak might finally be over! [Washington Post]

• Bad news: in the wake of last month's flooding in eastern India, villagers have resorted to eating uncooked rice mixed with polluted water. [Boston Globe]

• Good news! Items at a 99 cent store are still, generally, 99 cents or less. Way to run the least necessary sidebar of all time, guys. [LA Times]

• Bad news: mice can still really put a damper on your food wholesaling operation. [Chicago Tribune]

• Good news: Brazil seems to be handling rising food costs relatively well. Bad news: Argentina? Not so much. [New York Times]

We generally have a love-hate relationship with internet memes. But this one falls strictly on the "love" side:

From the terrific British foodblog Very Good Taste, (via Serious Eats) we proudly proffer our take on The Omnivore's Hundred, a list of 100 items any proud omnivore should eat in his or her lifetime:

Below is a list of 100 things that I think every good omnivore should have tried at least once in their life. The list includes fine food, strange food, everyday food and even some pretty bad food - but a good omnivore should really try it all. Don’t worry if you haven’t, mind you; neither have I, though I’ll be sure to work on it. Don’t worry if you don’t recognise everything in the hundred, either; Wikipedia has the answers.

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.

The MP:Chicago Omnivore's Hundred

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush [I'm allergic to eggplant – HR]
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper [I made Jamaican beef patties using these once, and my hands burned. – HR])
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar [I don't smoke – HR]
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu [it'd be worth it if it turned out to be delicious, but Adam Platt's article on it, while a riveting read, didn't sell it as a flavor explosion. – HR]
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin [is this a food? google tells us it is a clay. – HR]
64. Currywurst [I had it last week! for the first time! – HR]
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu or shaojiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

There are some lies happening in this video (there is NO WAY that cherry turnovers are better than PB&J, or apple pie for that matter), but these qualms aside, it's nice to see a slightly underdog pastry get some chops. After all, although tasty, the turnover is no danish, muffin, or even scone in terms of breakfast food popularity.

We've long been curious about how these national food holidays came to be, especially since there seems to be one for every day (for example, National Banana Lover's Day and National Whiskey Sour Day bookend National Cherry Turnover Day). Also, how is each specific date chosen to celebrate National [insert food in question] Day: what is it about August 28th that makes it oh-so-very-cherry-turnover, as opposed to August 29th?

After some digging, it turns out that each day is designated by Presidential decree. A food gets picked for a national day after lobbyists, trade associations, and a whole other host of special interests petition the President to sign off on a national food holiday. Surprise, surprise, this whole phenomenon seems to be a peculiarly American happening.

So, while you bite into your celebratory cherry turnover today (or not), you can once again thank your lucky stars for capitalism, without which we would never have national food holidays. Oh, and ps: today is also Dream Day, to commemorate Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have a Dream," which seems timely for this week.

"Obscure Commercial Holidays" [Stay Free Magazine]

With the Fall Preview out of the way, we can move on to TOC's actual reviews.

But first, some truly excellent (we mean this. We really really mean this.) service journalism from Heather Shouse: A province-by-province breakdown of the various subgenres of Chinese food, plus listings of where in the city to get a sampling of each. Regional styles like Cantonese and Sichuan are familiar to most Chinatown-goers, but Shouse illuminates the flavor profiles of less ubiquitous cuisines, like Taiwanese, Shanghainese, Hakka, and Buddhist (not so much a region as a culinary philosophy). [TOC]

As for actually passing make-or-break judgment on restaurants!

• It's been almost a month since the opening of Duchamp, and David Tamarkin has an experience there that reads like an eerie retread of last week's TOC review: inexplicably inconsistent food quality, overwhelmingly wonderful atmosphere. The lows on the menu strike Tamarkin as novice mistakes — all the more confusing, considering that chef Michael Taus is no new kid on the chopping block. And yet that patio lures you back in! Here's our request for the TOC team: Revisit Duchamp and Piccolo Sogno in, say, January, when you'll be less susceptible to the seductive charms of their apparently drug-laced patios. [Tamarkin, TOC]

• Speaking of Heather Shouse (again!) she's at Marc Burger (Macy’s, 111 N State St, 7th floor, 312 781 1000), where chef Marcus Samuelsson (ostensibly of C-House, more accurately of various New York City eateries) has set up shop alongside other luminaries in this "gourmet food court" to peddle burgers and other bun-borne delights. The burgers are good, but for $13 they edge in on the pricey side for what is, essentially, food court grub. Try the mahi-mahi — Shouse thinks it's better than the fish at C-House, and it's like a quarter of the price. [Shouse, TOC]

[As long as we are repeating photos, let's revisit Prof. Dr. Marc Burger, Forschungsinstitut für Mathematik, Zürich, Switzerland, via his faculty page]

Wondering what went down last night at Rick Bayless's induction into the Chicago Chefs Hall of Fame? Centerstage Chicago was there, and reports back. Among other things: they gave him a trophy!

Hall Call [Centerstage Chicago]

Well okay, maybe they can see just about as far into the future as anyone else with access to the internet, a telephone, and a list of Chicago restaurant publicists. But it's by their fine pens that we get the Restaurants & Bars section of TOC's Fall Preview issue. So much to talk about! So much to look forward to!

• Everyone we know — including us! — is so excited about The Publican that it is all we can do to keep our shoes on the right feet and our pants on right-side-out. David Tamarkin feeds the flames (and stokes the hunger) with a profile of the trials and tribulations of the beer-and-pork emporium that runs to four internet-pages (lord knows how many in the print edition). The article paints a portrait that reads almost like a movie script. Call it a culinary Ocean's Eleven: The trials and tribulations are seemingly infinite, and everyone involved in the scrappy-yet-slick crew — from be-everywhere-do-everything restaurateur Donnie Madia, to sous chef/sausage perfectionist Erling Wu-Bauer — is pouring in blood and sweat and time. Of course the story has a happy ending in sight: the restaurant looks on course for a mid-September opening, and every single one of the joint's 150 seats will probably be wildly in demand for, oh, the next century or so. [TOC]

Once The Publican actually does open, will we have anything to live for? Oh yes! There's so much else! The TOC team highlights four second acts from previously successful Chicago restaurant-makers.

• Pilsen Lula, from the team behind Lula Cafe, but located in — did you see this coming? — Pilsen. Actually it's not really called "Pilsen Lula," but there's no real name yet, and this is as good a stand-in as any. A "completely open" kitchen, a steel-framed garden swathed in climbing plants. Oh, and the hyper-local food sounds good too. [Shouse, TOC]

• Randy Zweiban basically is Nacional 27, but apparently he's been having an existential crisis. Enter Province, his upcoming completely-green restaurant in the West Loop, which will be Spanish- and Latin-tinged classic American food. Opening October. [Tamarkin, TOC]

• Do you ever get the feeling that there aren't enough restaurants in River North? Yeah, us too. But maybe an exception can be made for Jackson Park, from Jason Paskewitz, which has been in the works for years, and is finally scheduled to open this fall. Expect big plates (“I’m a big fan of not doing little plates of food,” Paskewitz says. “I hate the small-plate thing, man.”) of manly American fare like steaks. [Tamarkin, TOC]

• Up there with The Publican in terms of pre-launch buzz is Bucktown's The Bristol, from Chris Pandel. The menu is intentionally "amorphous," expect lots of charcuterie and an intense selection of libations — biodynamic wines, obscure brews, the usual. [Shouse, TOC]

• And of course, some more places that get a paragraph: Cafe Con Leche, OLO, The Whistler (all September); Tiny Lounge (October); Town & Country (November); An unnamed project from the folks behind Terragusto (God Knows When). [TOC]

[We're reusing this illustration from Achewood because we are so obsessed with this comic. You should really read it from the beginning.]

Over at Serious Eats, Ed Levine and crew are launching what they're calling The Serious Eats City Guides — a roundup of the essential eating experiences in food cities nationwide:

In every decent-sized city there are essential eating experiences, bites every serious eater should avail themselves of should he or she find themselves there. Here at Serious Eats we thought it would be fun to post guides to essential eating experiences in cities all over the world.

Now this is a best-of list we are absolutely dying to see.

Serious Eats City Guide Premiere: New York (How to Leave Here Pleasantly Full) [Serious Eats]

Frequent MenuPages special correspondent Joe Rosner is moving to Rhode Island tomorrow in order to start college (we feel very very old).

Helen: so on the eve of your departure, want to write a post for me about what you'll miss in Chicago?
Joe: the only thing i'll really miss is the ease of biking up the lakeshore trail to anywhere in greater chicago
Helen: yeah that is not a food
Joe: i know
Joe: i guess i'll miss the southern comfort food of hyde park
Joe: like the dixie kitchen, valois, and ribs 'n' bibs
Joe: doubt they'll have much of that in RI
Helen: you should start a valois in providence
Helen: how do you say "see your food" in a rhode island accent?
Joe: seah ya fud?
Joe: fud with a little umlaut above it
Helen: and then it's a big pile of clams behind glass
Joe: oh oh oh
Joe: only if its SEA your food
Joe: ouch.
Helen: zing!

Dixie Kitchen & Bait Shop [MenuPages]
Dixie Kitchen & Bait Shop [Official Site]
Ribs 'n' Bibs [MenuPages]

[Photo: breakfast at Valois "see your food" Cafeteria (1518 E 53rd St, 773 667 0647) via jasmined's Flickr]

MP: San Francisco Editor Adam Martin is covering this weekend's Slow Food Nation conference in the city by the bay. Here's the latest!

With Slow Food Nation all around, a Civic Center marketplace of local, sustainable foods, and every retailer in the city jumping on the bandwagon, it could be easy to make all kinds of grand lifestyle decisions this weekend—“Who says it’s hard to be a locavore? Look at all this stuff”—but what about in January, long after the fruit stands are packed up, when school or work or whatever it is you do is in full swing, where will your new-found values get you then, in the face of Egg McMuffins and Pop Tarts?

I chatted on the phone with food politics whiz and general cage-rattler Michael Pollan yesterday about how to incorporate some slow-food values into one’s day-to-day life. How does one stay a responsible eater when one is busy as all hell? Can you still go to restaurants without ruining the planet? And what’s this all about, anyway?

“There’s been a lot of effort to complicate [the issues],” Pollan said, but in fact, the global effect of your food is simple. “In general, the closer your food is grown to where you eat it, and the less it is processed, the lighter its carbon footprint.”

“Sometimes the drive to complicate things is done in the interest to frustrate people’s desires to do the right thing,” Pollan told me.

Wait, that sounds awfully nefarious. Who would complicate important issues like this on purpose?

“The food industry is always trying to confuse the issue… If you have a sugary cereal and you slap a health claim on it, what are you doing but confusing the issue?”

Pollan pointed out that the highest-impact foods at the store, from an environmental and health point of view, are the highly processed ones, as well as meat, eggs, and dairy. In his most recent book, In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto, he advocates shopping around the edge of the grocery store, where you find dairy, meat, produce, and bread, and avoiding the middle, where you find Hot Pockets, Pop Tarts, and Fruit Roll-Ups.

Pollan laid out three simple metrics by which to determine how damaging your food is to the planet, and yourself:

• Find out the animal’s feed. Grass-fed beef makes less of an impact than grain-fed. Most grass-fed or otherwise sustainably produced meats are labeled as such in gigantic letters.

• How processed is your food? The more that happens to it between the field and the table, the more resources it absorbs and the more nutrients are sapped. “In general, processed food like that [Pop Tart] takes 10 calories of fossil fuel energy for every one calorie of food energy," Pollan said.

• How far does it travel? The closer to you that your food is produced, the better.

Okay, that’s great and all, and most city-dwellers have access to some Berkeley Bowl equivalent, but dude, who shops for groceries? Many of us eat at restaurants almost all the time. And traveling? Hell, how are you supposed to stay responsible in an airport?

“When I’m on the road I tend to avoid meat unless I’m a place where I know where they get their meat,” Pollan said. “There’s one restaurant in every city these days that’s conceived in the spirit of Slow Foods and Chez Panisse, so I try to find out where that is, and, you know, just keep it simple.” God, he’s unflappable.

“If a restaurant offers grass-fed meat, I’ll order that. I want to support that industry and I really like it,” Pollan said. “I don’t order conventional meat that hasn’t been grown sustainably. I’d be much more likely to order fish, avoiding big, predator fish… those are the ones that are in most danger. Things like tuna and swordfish.”

But Pollan pointed out that there are sustainable fisheries, such as salmon in Alaska. “If it’s wild salmon from Alaska, they’ll usually tell you… More and more, restaurants will tell you where their food comes from and how they source it because it’s a selling point… that’s a very positive development.” You can print out a guide of sustainable seafood from the Monterey Bay Aquarium.

Neat. So where do you eat out, Michael Pollan?

“I really like restaurants where the chefs are serious about sourcing their food and elevate quality of ingredients over technique. To me, that’s what I really like. And I like pretty simple food. I don’t like fussy food.”

Pollan mentioned Chez Pannisse Café right off the bat, of course. “I love Picante, Oliveto. In the city I like Zuni Cafe, Quince.” He also mentioned Kirala, Cesar, and Saul’s deli, in Berkeley, and the new Camino, Pizzaiolo, in Oakland.

Pollan naturally wouldn’t single out an event this weekend as the most important, but he made an interesting point about the planning: “The architects they recruited for this—people in the restaurant business should pay attention to the design.” So there you go, restaurateurs. Get those business cards.

As for the rest of you, hey, good luck getting in to hear Pollan speak this weekend. Most of his events are sold out. But you can check through the Slow Food Nation schedule just in case, and also keep up with the man via his own website. He speaks publicly all the time. Come next busy January, catching a lecture might help you stay off the Pop Tarts a little longer.

Slow Food Nation [Official Site]
In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto [Amazon]
Chez Panisse [Official Site]
Seafood Watch [Monterey Bay Aquarium]
Michael Pollan [Official Site]

[Photo: via ">Ken Light/Michaelpollan.com]

"Nothing screams sex like a full rack of ribs."

– Mike, 26, from Nerve's Dating Advice from Grillmasters

A 15,000-square-foot French Market featuring both farmers and resellers selling gourmet and organic foods, such as fresh produce, meat, fish, cheese and baked goods will anchor the development. The market will be developed and managed by Bensidoun USA. The Bensidoun family, one of the largest operators of food markets in France, is responsible for more than 80 similar concepts in and around Paris, 12 outdoor markets in the Chicagoland area as well as other markets across North America.

"Chicagoans are savvy connoisseurs of fresh and delectable produce and cuisine," said Sebastien Bensidoun, executive vice president of Bensidoun USA.

Also in the new MetraMart:

A newer concept modeled after authentic Italian coffee bars, Caffe RoM will offer breakfast, lunch and dinner menus including specialty coffee drinks, gourmet sandwiches and imported gelato as well as fine wine and beer in the evening. Caffe RoM will occupy 2,900 square feet with access from both Canal Street and Metra's commuter concourse.

Of course, construction hasn't even started, so check back with us in ... a year? Five years? We're not holding our breath.

U.S. Equities Secures Financing for MetraMarket [MarketWatch]
MetraMarket [Official Site]

[Rendering of MetraMarket storefronts via the official site]

• A Los Angeles County Superior Court judge rules taco trucks can stay and vend, instead of being forced to move every hour. [LA Times]

• A look at how two South American nations are dealing with the rise in food pricesw. [New York Times]

• The disease outbreak near Tulsa is, in fact, E. coli, from a local restaurant that is (finally) named. [Tulsa World]

• Here's a guide to Slow Food Nation. The San Francisco event kicks off tomorrow. [SF Chronicle]

• Croatia was ravaged by war! But now they make wine! The story is both heartwarming and unbearably wine-snobby! [Trib]

• White bread, potatoes, red meat, and cheese are all not nearly as bad for us as we'd thought! They actually have nutritional value! Turns out (omg!) the key is moderation! Also wtf is up with the alliterative headline?! [Trib]

• A revamp of a classic Nicoise salad recipe illustrates the paradox of the heap! If you replace every single freaking ingredient in a Nicoise salad with things that are not in fact found in Nice, is it still a Nicoise salad?! (Hint: Hells no!) [Trib]

• The StoryBus at the Kohl Children's Museum is actually really awesome! So is this idea for a benefit to support it: Highbrow takes on kids' food! Also the event has a neat name: Night of 1000 Clean Plates! We are having a hard time snarking on this one! [Trib]

[Photo: A Nicoise salad (we've swapped the green beans out for shredded wheat, and replaced the tuna and potatoes with some milk), via buriednextoyou's Flickr]

Welcome to the first day of coverage of this weekend's Slow Food Nation event in San Francisco. I'll be at the event, snapping photos, talking to participants and stuffing my face, and you can attend vicariously through me by reading the coverage right here. It's going to be a tough job wandering around collecting edible samples, but with your support, I'll get through it. To find out just what this weekend is all about, I got on the phone with Anya Fernald, Slow Food Nation's executive director.

Hanging around, staring at that victory garden outside City Hall, waiting for Slow Food Nation to start, is like nibbling bread while you wait for your entrée.

In this case, that entrée is a local, grass-fed steak with a side of tomatoes from the garden. The bread is homemade from organic flour, and the butter was just churned yesterday at a farm in Marin County.

“Middle America, 30 years ago, this was the norm,” Anya Fernald, executive director of Slow Food Nation, told me, as we chatted about the upcoming Slow Food Nation event in San Francisco this weekend. Part festival, part conference, part exhibition, the four-day American food celebration will draw an expected 50,000 attendees overall, Fernald said.

The weekend includes tasting expos, a marketplace, workshops, panel discussions, special dinners, as well as things like hikes and farm tours, all to encourage attendees to take a second look at the way they—and we, as a society—eat.

The idea is to wean Americans off our current dependence on processed and fast foods, and to “build momentum and demand for an American food system that is safer, healthier and more socially just," according to Fernald’s press statement.

“We want 10 percent of the attendees of this event to make one change ever day, every week. We It might be a small step like I’m going to cook dinner for my family this week or plant a garden, it might be I’m going to learn about food politics or pack a bag lunch… We’re not talking about radical life changes. This is about realistic, doable every day changes that everybody can make,” Fernald told me.

Fernald was quick to address and dispel any charge of elitism. “When did making your own jam become a privilege of the elite? Up until 1950, really a sign of poverty was making your own jam, growing your own garden, and people strove to become part of the middle class by rejecting that,” she said. The slow food movement aims to return to those values.

“Looking at that presumption that this is an elitist movement, I think America has been bamboozled into thinking that fasts food is the food of the masses,” Fernald said. “We need to push back against that notion that fast food is American food.”

But how can a bunch of activists making a big noise about sustainable food in a city as “blue”—downright aquamarine—as San Francisco?

“We’re drinking American wine, beer, we’re making pickles, we’re having dinner with friends, we’re planting gardens,” Fernald said. “It’s really “red state”’ values we’re talking about but they happen to be about food and they’re somehow associated with the left.”

The weekend is packed with things to do, and participants will have the opportunity spend as much time and money as they want. Free activities and exhibitions such as the slow marketplace and slow hikes, compete with ticketed events including panel discussions, dinners, a concert, field trips, and tasting exhibitions, running from $10 to more than $100.

Of all the 115 or so events that comprise the weekend, Fernald pointed to the slow marketplace as a cornerstone. That’s where attendees can buy the produce, grain, and small-scale products central to the movement. It’s also adjacent to the victory garden at City Hall.

Planted in July, the garden’s crops will be harvested and distributed by the San Francisco Food Bank over the weekend. The name comes from the World War II era, when individual families grew food on their own small plots.

Small-scale farming, small-scale food preparation, small, slow dinners with friends—these are the focuses of one massive event. It’s going to be a delicious weekend.

Slow Food Nation [Official Site]

[Photo: The City Hall victory garden, via Slow Food Nation Blog]

• Sick of plain old cow burgers? Bison is the hip, healthy new meat! (This was news in, like, 1994. It went hand-in-hand with the introduction of 'za as a [failed] shortening of "pizza.") [S-T]

• Oh hey, Rick Bayless is getting some kind of award. Choice quote: "His life is so varied ... he dances, does yoga..." (Mental image! Mental image!) [S-T]

• Starbucks is planning to roll out a new, lower-calorie breakfast menu starting September 3. The impetus is twofold: one, the are having a horrible year and hope this will affect the bottom line. Two, CEO Howard Schultz got a talking-to from his doctor. (This is like when your mom feels fat and so she puts the whole family on a diet. Thanks, Howie!) [S-T]

• Chilled soup: it's a summer-appropriate food! So says chef Christophe David of NoMI, who wrote this piece. (Remember when Christopher Borrelli wrote about this exact topic for the Trib a few weeks ago?) [S-T]

[Photo: Delicious, delicous bison, via that_owl's Flickr]

As you have probably already heard, tonight Rick Bayless, pioneering chef behind Frontera Grill and Topolobampo, among many other things, is being inducted into the Chicago Chef's Hall of Fame. We don't think we are alone in never having really noticed before this event started blitzing the publicity circuit that Chicago actually had a Chef's Hall of Fame. (also, we just realized how incredibly absurd the literal notion of a "hall of fame" is. Think about that for a while and then try to take Rock & Roll or Major League Baseball or, okay, Chicago Chefs seriously ever again).

That particular absurdity aside, this event strikes us as selling itself a little strangely for something garnering this much press attention and with so many boldface names attached (Frontera Grill won Outstanding National Restaurant at the '07 Beard Awards, and that's nothing to sneeze at). But, um. The invitation (up and to the left, there) is utterly ludicrous. If you find yourself with $150 burning a hole in your pocket, and nothing to do tonight at 5:30, we might advise heading over to this "networking event." It could be hilarious entertaining.

Hall of Fame [Chicago Culinary Museum]
Frontera Grill [MenuPages]
Frontera Grill [Official Site]
Topolobampo [MenuPages]
Topolobampo [Official Site]

Check out a larger version of the (absurd) invitation, after the jump.

Umami -- that savory taste of meat -- gets all the press. Small wonder then that the two of the four other tastes (sweet, salty, sour and bitter) are so aptly named. Perhaps now's the chance for this flavor darling to get squeezed out of the limelight... at least for a little bit.

Fox News reports that scientists may have discovered a sixth taste. Celebrating this new discovery would be a bit premature, however, as (ta-da!) this is the taste of calcium. Yes, calcium: of broccoli, spinach, and collard greens.

You're probably not alone if you try to avoid these leafy veggies — but that may be precisely the fault of these new-found taste receptors: calcium in large quantities tends to have an unpleasantly bitter taste.

There may be reason to rejoice about this discovery, after all, according to Michael Tordoff, a behavioral geneticist at the Monell Chemical Senses Center in Philadelphia.

People don't consume as much calcium as nutritionists would like, and one reason for this is that foods high in calcium don't taste good to many people. Tweaking the taste could encourage a calcium-deficient population to consume more of this key nutrient.

That's um, great and everything, but in the meantime – pass the pork, would you?

Yes, MSG, the Secret Behind the Savor [NY Times]
Sixth (and Fifth) 'Taste' Possibly Discovered [Fox]

[Photo: via aquatone282/flickr]

The partners — Mr. Sorkin; two former co-workers at a technology firm; his uncle, who works in the building materials business; and a lawyer — were all barbecue fanatics who frequently met to grill in each others’ backyards. They spent more than a year analyzing the business.

Mr. Sorkin quit his job in 2005, and visited restaurants all over the country, including North Carolina and Memphis. (His wife supported the family while he traveled, before the restaurant opened and he started taking a modest salary.)

After tasting samples, the partners settled on Texas barbecue, known as “low and slow” because it is cooked at a lower temperature for a longer period than other styles. It was a variation they felt had been overlooked by Chicago’s numerous rib spots.

Mr. Sorkin, who has a degree in journalism, wrote a detailed business plan that ran for more than 40 pages, comparing his concept to the menus of his potential competitors. It featured a heartfelt essay, “Our View on ’Q,” that set out the group’s philosophy on barbecue ... Along with a simple menu of ribs, brisket, chicken and side dishes like macaroni and cheese and twice-cooked fries, the plan also included an extensive analysis of the expenses the restaurant expected in its first three years.

Determining that the North Side of Chicago lacked sufficient rib outlets, the group zeroed in on a storefront on North Pulaski Road, about 15 minutes north of the Loop and 10 minutes from Mr. Sorkin’s house.

Two members of the group pledged their homes to secure a $440,000 Small Business Administration loan to get the restaurant off the ground.

In the months just before and after Smoque opened, Mr. Sorkin and one of the partners spent 120 to 130 hours a week tying up loose ends. “I seriously thought we were going to die of exhaustion,” he said.

Since Smoque opened, Mr. Sorkin has scaled back to a relatively relaxed 90 hours a week. Now, he is at work by 7 a.m., for a day that starts with stocking wood in a smoker, accepting an order from a meat deliveryman, checking the previous night’s receipts and supervising as kitchen assistants chop peppers and prepare peach cobbler. He is on his feet all day, and rarely gets home to see his two toddlers before their bedtime. He can only occasionally catch a beer in a bar near his house.

But he is not complaining, because Smoque has served many more customers — thousands more — than the business plan forecast.

“My old job was challenging, even interesting at times, but I never got the same buzz from knowing that someone got their e-mail fixed,” Mr. Sorkin said. “I love barbecue. I love to feed people barbecue, and I love to watch them enjoy it.”

Love Food? Think Twice Before Jumping In [NYT]
Smoque BBQ [MenuPages]
Smoque BBQ [Official Site]

[Photo: Smoque's brisket, via biscuitcleaver's Flickr]

Close to the end of the day yesterday we threw up a two-sentence excerpt from a polemic against locavorism that ran in the New York Times' Freakonomics blog. It was written by James McWilliams, a historian at Texas State, and it purported to outline some of the obstacles to a truly sustainable national (or global!) locavore culture. McWilliams arbitrarily sets locavore boundaries along state lines, and points out — correctly, if not necessarily relevantly — that while with some modifications New Yorkers could eat healthfully, Arizonans are right out screwed.

We wondered what the blogospheric reaction would be, and boy howdy! From Michael Morowitz of The Local Beet:

The first comment at the bottom of [McWilliams's] blog post hits the nail on the head when he points out that Mr. McWilliams is “setting up a straw locavore”. I’m not sure I’ve ever met a locavore or even anyone at a farmer’s market who is pushing for diverse, independent regional food systems. We understand that coffee doesn’t grow in Iowa and there’s not too much wheat growing in Arizona. Most locavores I’ve spoken to advocate a more simplified diet that focuses on the best of what their region has to offer. Either we make some sacrifices to avoid foods that aren’t local, or we make concessions for the things we enjoy or need.

Mr. McWilliams spent a lot of energy attacking a position that really just doesn’t exist. [His argument illustrates] what’s behind a bit of my frustration with the word “locavore”. They both seem to believe that it’s an unyielding point of view, like veganism. They’re taking this misconception and attacking a belief that doesn’t really exist, meanwhile taking aim at practical local eaters at the same time. Motivations behind eating local are not singular nor are they unyielding.

I think his response is fairly insane, since it assumes, basically, that there's no intermediate step between "eat rock-hard Chilean produce that still smells like jet fuel" and "live entirely off what grows within 50 miles of Phoenix."

Surely the aspiration to eat local will accomplish certain positive things (producing a better economy for local farmers, creating better-tasting meals) at a point well short of total adoption by the residents of the USA. I'm really just not worried about what would happen if we got to that point, since I can't imagine it happening.

Will The Anti-Locavorism Never End? [Freakonomics Blog]
Double Rebuttal [The Local Beet]
Another Quote Of The Day [previously]

[Photo: "gene thiel's organic heirloom carrots," via cafemama's Flickr]

• A takeover-style robbery in Hayward, Calif. is just the latest in a wave of such crimes. [SF Chronicle]

• A much friendlier trend is also taking off in the form of underground restaurants. [New York Times]

• Could hot dogs in the school cafeteria cause colon cancer? [AP]

• Chicago-area rail commuters face last call in their beloved bar cars. [Chicago Tribune]

Even in locales that have great potential to provide a region with considerable food, there are reasons to be skeptical that locavorism is an achievable idea.

– James McWilliams, guest-posting on the Freakonomics Blog
on precisely how much the devil is in the details

Will the Anti-Locavorism Never End? [Freakonomics Blog]

Ando invented the pre-cooked, freeze-dried noodles in 1958, when he was 48 years old. When he was 61 he invented their kissing cousin, cup noodles. "In life," he was known to remark, "there is no such thing as too late."

This year, demand for his inventions is expected to surpass 100 billion servings. Staggering, yes, but surprising? No. As the man famously (and perhaps cryptically) said, "mankind is Noodlekind."

Iconic Noodle Celebrates 50th Anniversary [NPR]

[Photo: Ramen selection, via davidrmunson's Flickr]

"Everything was going well until we noticed the incredible amount of fat that was accumulating in the pan."

– Nick Kindelsperger, The Paupered Chef
making a burger in a new way

The Quick-Flipped Fat Burger [Paupered Chef]

Last week Miss Manners touched on the subject of correcting typos in retail store signage. Judith Martin took the nit-picking, though highly sympathetic, letter writer gently to task for the greatest etiquette infraction of all — correcting others — but then pointed out that it's not rude to inform the store's management of their public spelling mistakes. The letter-writer had alerted a salesperson who, Miss Manners pointed out, likely couldn't have cared less.

Same goes for restaurants, we would think. As a professional menu-dealer-with, we find typos everywhere, both at work and after. But does it do to correct these? It's a given your server won't care. In fact, unless you actually need to send something back or get more ketchup, your server probably won't even listen to you when you report on how the food is.

Back in June, Jane Black wrote a column in the Washington Post advocating an extremely passive-aggressive method of communicating menu typos: She describes a daydream wherein,

I enter a restaurant, order and sweetly ask the waiter if I can "hold on to the menu" during dinner. Then, using a distinctive purple pen, I discreetly copy-edit the descriptions of the dishes...

'Who was that anonymous proofreader?' chefs would whisper to one another. Correct-a-girl strikes again! Eliminating menu mistakes, one restaurant at a time.

But seriously, menu typos can be galling, and some obsessive types just can't see their way toward letting it rest. What's the best way to get the corrections to the menu-meister? Find out who that person is, and tell them. Most restaurants won't take it personally, just like they won't take constructive criticism of the food personally.

After the meal, if the typo seriously still bothers you, get up, ask the host who writes the menu, then either ask to speak to that person or convey a message via the host, indicating the typo. That's your best shot at getting your voice heard, but really, is it worth the trouble? (Sigh) Actually, yes. The restaurant, concerned for its reputation, probably does want to hear where it can improve, and the rest of us will dine easier, knowing Correct-a-girl (or boy) is out there, watching.

How to Proofread, Politely [Miss Manners/Washington Post]
The Art of Criticism [Table Manners/Chow]
Typos a la Carte, Ever A Specialty of the House [Washington Post]
White Problems — Typos on Menus [Stuff White People Like]

Photo: Via Aaron Gustafson/flickr]

With a little bit of a nip to the air today, our thoughts turn fondly to autumn: woolly sweaters, apple cider, and — oh god, yes — avgolemono soup. It's hard for us to describe avgolemono to the uninitiated without starting to sound a little soft-core. Silky. Creamy. Rich. Smooth. Luscious. Tangy. Smooth. But oh man, the lengths we would go for a decent bowl!

Avgolemono is an egg-lemon soup (avgo = egg, lemono = lemon) from Greece, and it's one of those dishes that is so devastatingly simple in its construction that it is epically easy to screw up. Three ingredients: chicken broth, egg yolk, and lemon juice. The key, of course, is to temper the egg so it doesn't curdle in either the heat of the soup or the acidity of the lemon juice, and instead it just gets all thick and creamy (a similar principle to, say, a hollandaise sauce, to which this soup is not entirely dissimilar). You can add some orzo or rice or bits of the soup chicken to the bowl, but the essential avgolemono is just a rich, thick, bright yellow broth.

We've had it in various incarnations ever since the inception of our obsession: served with fanfare (it was practically whisked together tableside) at a white-tablecloth restaurant, and glopped out of a soup steamer at a roadside Greek diner. We'll take either — heck, we'll take both. There's a universal deliciousness in the merging of lemon and chicken, and it all just goes over the top with the luxurious creaminess brought in by the egg yolk.

Unsurprisingly, some of the best avgolemono to be found in town is in the West Loop &mdash we cast our vote for the bowls to be found at Venus and, a few blocks away, at Greek Corner, where it costs a truly underpriced $1.75 for a generous helping of that steaming nectar.

Downtown, check out a slightly fancier version at Amira in the NBC tower. And we would probably visit Andie's even if they didn't serve the soup, but the fact that they do (and do it well) gives us all the more reason to visit one of our favorite pan-Mediterranean places in the city — what do we need in life? A bowl of avgolemono, a plate of hummus, and thou.

Venus [MenuPages]
Venus [Official Site]
Greek Corner [MenuPages]
Amira [MenuPages]
Amira [Official Site]
Andie's [MenuPages]
Andie's [Official Site]

[Photo: Avgolemono soup, via gto350's Flickr]

• At least eleven listeriosis-related deaths in Canada; everyone is in a tizzy (especially the meat suppliers). [Bloomberg]

• Utah has to get 6 million carp out of Utah Lake, on the condition that they do something with the dead fish. [AP]

• MSG consumption is apparently linked to obesity. (Hey kids! Correlation is not causation!) [NYT]

• San Francisco is gearing up for this weekend's Slow Food Nation Festival. (MP's own Adam Martin will be there!) [SFChron]

• A man was found in the ceiling above the women's restroom in a Florida restaurant, spying on female patrons. [TCPalm]

Yargh. In our standard Monday roundup of restaurant reviews on the various blogs, we peeked at our RSS history for ChuffPo (we've capitulated) and wiggled our brains into Steve "Hungry Hound" Dolinksy's writeup of the brand-newly-opened Urban Belly (3053 N California, 773 583 0500).

We realize that we are subtle and quick to anger.* Except without the subtle part — we work in broad strokes, and we are superficial, and we might be the sort of person who snarks first and examines the nuances of the situation later. But oh goodness gracious, Steve Dolinksy, we would like to punch you in the mouth. Hard. Without regard to the post-punch status of the bones in our hand.

When I heard Urban Belly was opening this week, I was a little skeptical, and frankly, worried I wouldn't have a good experience. I try to stay away from the arms race in food coverage currently being waged by Time Out, Metromix and a host of other bloggers, all of whom seem to be descending upon restaurants as soon as they open.

It's more common courtesy on the part of food writers to cut the owners some slack when they first open. Typically, a wait of a few weeks is standard, and most of the big time critics will visit at least twice, if not three times, before they'll print a review.

...for some reason, I've been drawn to Bill Kim's personal project [UrbanBelly] since he announced it several months ago.

STEVE DOLINSKY. DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE? You are not allowed to hate on the first-day visit bloggers, Mister Person, because now you are a first-day blogger. And you are the worst kind, which is the self-denying kind, the kind who thinks he is too cool for school and that it is entirely unacceptable when everyone else is a frothy sycophantic self-made critic who lines up on the first day of service, but for some unfathomable reason it is totally okay when you deign to descend from your lofty radio food show and Friday-night local-news restaurant report to mill around with us internet-people in our apparently universal ritual of obsessive first day one-upsmanship.

He goes on to give a standard review of the dishes he tried, which is unremarkable except that the fact-checking portion of his brain appears to be on vacation (for the record, David Chang's New York trifecta of Momofuku restaurants, which Dolinsky cites as an inspiration for Urban Belly, are all located in Manhattan's East Village, not the Lower East Side). But honestly we are so livid at his dismissal of the value of food bloggers, and his own smug self-satisfaction, that we almost think he's done Urban Belly a disservice by giving it such a glowing "personal interest"-driven review. Fortunately, if the food's as good as he says it is, Chef Bill Kim will be able to rise above the layer of slime Dolinsky's put over everything.

Is Urban Belly Chicago's Answer to Momofuku? [ChuffPo]
The Hungry Hound: Now officially in the doghouse [TOC]

[Photo: Interior of Urban Belly, via Steve Dolinksy's review in ChuffPo]

*Like a wizard! Also, we are a giant nerd, and we realize that too.

The news hook on our earlier post came on the heels of a somewhat anachronistic decision by the FDA last week to allow food producers to irradiate spinach and lettuce, infusing them with just enough radioactivity to kill the micro-organisms that cause hazardous infections. From the Associated Press:

The Grocery Manufacturers Association had originally petitioned the FDA seeking to expand use of irradiation to many more types of produce several years ago. But in wake of the 2006 E. coli outbreak from spinach — which killed three people and sickened nearly 200 — plus a list of lettuce recalls, the industry group asked the FDA to rule on the leafy greens first.

The FDA still is considering what other types of produce might be OK to irradiate. Often mentioned as possible are tomatoes and peppers, which have been the focus of investigators trying to trace this summer's nationwide salmonella outbreak.

Remember when, a few hours ago, we said that just a modicum of forthcoming information could make the difference between a careful populace and a panic-inducing epidemic? Well, when big, faceless government organizations and big, faceless lobbying groups get together to talk about injecting scary technology into people's food, it helps to put out a bit of information on that plan. Otherwise, you get films like this:

FDA: Irradiating spinach, lettuce OK to kill germs [AP]
Search Results: Irradiation [FDA]

[anonymous NY food writer]: can i tell you an off-the-record secret?
Helen: yes!
[ANYFW]: i too think chicago might be the tastiest city
[ANYFW]: i'm just saying
[ANYFW]: everything i ate there was profoundly awesome
Helen: even better than new york?
[ANYFW]: it was just more consistent
[ANYFW]: and schwa was the best meal i've had in years
[ANYFW]: in any city
Helen: that makes my heart all bursty-happy
[ANYFW]: i am secretly CRAZY IN LOVE with chicago
Helen: much like beyonce is crazy in love with jay-z
[ANYFW]: exactly

Maxim Loves Chicago; We Are Already Stirring Up Trouble [previously]

"Lobster mushroom (Hypomyces lactifluorum) is not, in the truest sense of the word, actually a mushroom. It is a parasitic ascomycete that grows on mushrooms. It colonizes members of the genera Lactarius (Milk-caps) and Russula, such as Russula brevipes and Lactarius piperatus in North America. At maturity, H. lactifluorum completely covers the host mushroom, leaving it unidentifiable."

– Laurent Gras, L2O Blog

L.2O [MenuPages]
L.2O [Official Site]

Is it just us or has this been a banner year for insane food-safety stories? First there was that gigantic meat recall, then the gigantic salmonella mystery, then just last week a Chicago man sued a restaurant where he claims he acquired a nine-food tapeworm in 2006. Also, Canada is in the middle of a deadly food poisoning outbreak.

Now comes news from the Tulsa World that one person has died and at least another 11 — and possibly as many as 20 &mdash were apparently infected with E. coli bacteria after eating at a "local restaurant" in Locust Grove (Mayes County), Oklahoma.

It is rather amazing that the newspaper shied away from naming the restaurant, or explaining its reason for omitting the name. Though in the wake of the reporting on that that salmonella scare, maybe it shouldn't be that surprising. In that incident, federal authorities took months to determine that the culprit in the scare was not tomatoes, but rather serrano and jalepeno peppers imported from Mexico. They only uncovered the truth after Minnesota scientists put them on the scent. Meanwhile, tomato growers lost around a quarter-billion dollars.

The tomato industry will survive that scare, but unless it is part of a huge chain, one restaurant in one small town in Oklahoma will probably not survive the death of a patron. So it's understandable that either Mayes County health officials or the World's editorial board withheld the name, pending confirmation of the infection source.

Isn't it scary that you could be put at risk of a serious illness to save the reputation of a business? On the other hand, wouldn't it be unfair for a restaurant to be associated with a deadly E. coli outbreak if it is later cleared? Unfortunately, there seems to be no universally good way to handle a health threat such as this.

It seems, however, that a good rule of thumb for public health officials would be to provide as much information as possible, as early as possible, occasionally omitting a detail that may be incriminating. For example, if health officials had reported earlier in the week that a trend may be afoot, perhaps that one fatal case would have avoided dining out. Of course, it may have taken all week to identify the trend.

In the end, restaurant patrons just have to accept that there will always be some small risk in having others cook for them. Risks can be reduced by ordering cooked food over raw and checking out health inspection scores, but they can never be fully eliminated.

One dead, 11 sickened in possible E. coli outbreak [Tulsa World]
Canadian Officials Link 4th Death to Food-Poisoning Outbreak [Bloomberg]
Food Safety [USDA]

[Photo: Via Meepocity/flickr]

Huffington Post: Chicago still defies nicknaming attempts (actually that is a lie; the consensus is Chuffpo, but we are still fans of HuffPoChi, so we're pretending jury's out), and the site might have given the internet the worst blog post ever written, but we are still rooting for Arianna Huffington's insane level of social connectedness to result in some seriously interesting and innovative food coverage. It's not quite yet the fireworks show we were hoping for, but there are some cool things happening.

Today, for example, gives us an in-depth look from Flora Lazar of NoMI pastry chef Andres Lara, formerly of world's-most-important-chef Ferran Adria's restaurant El Bulli, on Spain's Costa Brava. Much like the other Chicago heirs apparent to the El Bulli school of envelope-pushing, Achatz at Alinea and Cantu at Moto, Lara takes a straightforward approach to what the casual diner might consider decidedly un-straightforward cuisine:

"I don't want anything too pastry, too square, or too rectangular," Lara told me. As long as it's fresh, clean, and alive, when it leaves the kitchen, every dish can look different, "like a garden of roses," he said. He could not have summed up his desserts better.

Lara's riff on the traditional Black Forest cake strays a bit further from the familiar, but is delicious on its own terms. Mimicking a forest scene, the dish is assembled around a central "rock" containing an exquisite chocolate praline ice cream garnished with pickled cherries. It contains no obvious trace of cake and for Black Forest die-hards, may disappoint.

But it is Lara's almost pictorial Caramel Garden Roots that departs furthest into the realm of so-called "de-constructed" food for which places like El Bulli, the shrine of the so-called molecular gastronomy, are famous.

With rhubarb sorbet and licorice caramel sitting on a bed of coffee "soil" running the entire length of the plate, it is designed to look like roots coming from the ground. Of all the desserts, this visual fantasy succeeds the least well on the taste front, with the coffee soil overwhelming the dishes other flavors, especially the rhubarb.

El Bulli Chicago-Style [Chuffpo/HuffPoChi]
NoMI [MenuPages]
NoMI [Official Site]

[Photo: some kind of dessert (strawberry foam? white chocolate powder? no idea!) from Andres Lara's personal site]

What is up, notre petits choux? We write to you today courtesy the powerful internet engines of New York Media, who now own us (body and soul!). We are not ones to foster sibling rivalry (no sir! Just see how often we employ our brother to do our cake-and-ice-cream-eating dirty work!) but we are unwilling to let this opportunity for some good-natured intra-NYM ribbing pass us by.

Namely, this. Maxim magazine's most recent print issue (Aug 2008) contains their "Food Awards," and along with the usual deep-fried suspects (bacon cheeseburger served on a Krispy Kreme? So the Maxim demo), New York Mag's food blog, Grub Street, calls attention to a particular food-ascendant city that is really raising their hackles:

And the biggest slap in the face? New Yorker and Maxim senior editor David Swanson names Chicago the “tastiest city,” thanks to its liquid donuts (Moto), Applewood ice cream (Alinea), prosciutto consommé (Schwa), and foie gras with crushed Pop Rocks (Avenues). And we, in turn, would like to nominate this choice as Most Increasingly Predictable Way to Piss Off Members of the New York Food Media.

‘Maxim’ Plays the Chicago Card in Its ‘Food Awards’ [Grub Street]
Moto [MenuPages]
Moto [Official Site]
Alinea [MenuPages]
Alinea [Official Site]
Schwa [MenuPages]
Schwa [Official Site]
Avenues [MenuPages]
Avenues [Official Site]

[Photo: Maxim's August 2008 cover]

• In a food-recall heavy summer, another one! This time it's Pepperoni Pizza Hot Pockets that consumers should avoid, at the risk of biting down into plastic. Mmm. [Market Watch]

• North Korea has created a new soy and corn based noodle to combat hunger problems. The noodles have more protein and fat and "delay feelings of hunger." [BBC]

• Some colleges and universities across the country are eschewing plastic trays in their cafeterias for reasons of being "green" and "not wasting water." The number of broken dishes does not seem to have gone up... yet. [AP]

• Hey, have you heard about that economy? In another sign of end-times, school lunch prices are also going up! [NYT]

• Healthy food prices are not just a US problem: fresh produce is a luxury item for Aboriginal communities in Australia. [ABC News Australia]

• "Where can I get a slice of pizza at 2AM?" [MP: Boston]

• "Is there any more vodka?" [MP: Chicago]

• "Why is this butter sculpture of Shawn Johnson so toothy?" [MP: Philadelphia]

• "Maybe we should all go to a tiki bar." [MP: San Francisco]

• "Why are Thursdays always so thirsty?" [MP: South Florida]

• Bruno's #1 was the site of a TOC review last week: Mana Food Bar, the vegetarian small-plates dig that Heather Shouse liked more in concept than execution. The two reviewers seem to have been eating at a completely different restaurant: while Shouse found the pho to be "truly disastrous" and "nearly inedible," Bruno really likes it (and helpfully tells us that the name of the dish is pronounced "puh"). He goes on to like everything else, but — we've got to be honest here — he talks us through the menu with the sort of condescending chirpy supportive tone that we normally associate with mid-1980s reviews of completely alien ethnic food, like "Peruvian chicken! How novel! Your palate will be amazed! Who knew they had chickens in Peru!" Dude, Bruno, it is not food from the moon. It is a vegetarian restaurant. Cease thy amazement. [Bruno, Sun-Times]

• Speaking of condescension! Bruno's next stop is Haussmann Brasserie (305 N Happ Rd, Northfield, 847 446 1133), and the review starts out with a real suckerpunch of a rhetorical question: "If a restaurant comes off as being too elitist, will it drive customers away?" Well hell, Bruno, you tell us! All in all, Haussmann Brasserie reads like a cookie-cutter French bistro: Bruno predicts he'll find onion soup, frisee salad, steak frites — he does. Cauliflower gratin, croque madame, endive salad, yawn. It's done well, but there are no fireworks. Where was the elitism again? [Bruno, Sun-Times]

• Thomas Witom is in Lake Forest this week, at Bank Lane Bistro (670 Bank Lane, Lake Forest, 847 234 8802), where chef Michael Gottlieb pulls out all the stops for a meal that actually has our curiosity quite piqued. The menu is seasonal, and Witom recommends a prix fixe — there's the standard four-courser, but we get excited whenever we see a tasting menu whose course count enters the double digits, and for $88, Bank Lane's 10-courser might be one of the best per-plate bargains in the area. Seared tuna with Japanese spices, softshell crab tempura with meyer lemon sauce, foie gras decked out with homemade pancetta, jalapeno, sambuca-infused strawberries, and Virginia peanuts — it's whetting our appetite just reading about it. Witom says he can "personally vouch" for the quality of the cheese plate, which kind of makes us wonder whether the rest of what we're reading about comes second-hand, but whatevs. This place sounds kind of awesome. [Witom, Sun-Times]

[Photo: Bibimbap at Mana, via No Olives's Flickr]

"I took the practical argument that if Rick Bayless makes a Mexican sandwich (which is what a cemitas is) and charges $13.50 for it, you expect it to be made freshly of the highest quality ingredients, and so that’s merely the baseline for him, but if a neighborhood place charges $5 and yet manages to import its cheese and roast its chipotles and cook everything up fresh (as Cemitas Puebla does), then it gets credit for all that going-the-extra-mile-ness compared to the other places serving the same stuff in a more careless fashion."

– Mike Gebert, Sky Full of Bacon
articulating precisely how we feel
about the high-low thing

• First up, Green Village (5848 N. Broadway, 773 275 5677), which was formerly the middle-eastern restaurant Paradise. It's now an appealing hybrid of middle eastern and Ethiopian food (retaining all the "eye-popping, idiosyncratic" art and decor that made Paradise so much fun), and the food is handled competently — a slightly dry falafel is offset by an ideally fragrant Jerusalem salad, slightly dry beef tips are overshadowed by a lamb kebab so good that it draws passersby off the street. [Schmidt, Reader]

• Not too far from Green Village is Lalibela (5631 N. Ashland Ave, 773 944 0585), which is straight-up Ethiopian. Their well-executed dishes are apparently going underappreciated — the restaurant is uncannily devoid of customers — but there's plenty to draw in a crowd. Vegetarians will be happy with the usual lineup of spiced stewed vegetables, but carnivores are the real winners: lamb seasoned with onion, rosemary, and jalapeño knocks it out of the park. [Schmidt, Reader]

• And finally, site of our own personal first Ethiopian restaurant experience, Blue Nile. It's a solid, florid winner: the end of the meal saw "comically high stack of boxed-up leftovers" measured against a "comically small bill," and that's after our dear reviewer ate her weight in mouthwatering-sounding preparations of lentils, meat, and vegetables. [Paghdiwala, Reader]

[Photo: Ethiopian platter at Blue Nile, via Andrew Huff's Flickr]

"I see that the person who wrote about the "less is more" beef is from California. That explains that craziness!"

– JeanneBean, LTHForum

We love it when synchronicity happens. We feel all one with the universe and whatnot. Case in point:

Yesterday, Deb at Smitten Kitchen posted about Dorie Greenspan's recipe for Dimply Plum Cake, a perhaps unfortunately-named dessert that, nonetheless, is both exceptionally beautiful and perfect for the August/September transitional weather:

And then this morning, we woke up to a note from Cafe Selmarie letting us know that — what? what? — "Plum Season is here! Our wonderful Plum Cake will be available beginning Friday morning. If you've never experienced this cake you need to stop in! This delicious buttery cake is overflowing with sweet ripe plums."

And oh, how it is:

In conclusion, this is a wonderful day and everyone should eat plum cake.

Dimply Plum Cake [Smitten Kitchen]
Cafe Selmarie [MenuPages]
Cafe Selmarie [Official Site]

[Photos via Smitten Kitchen and Cafe Selmarie, respectively]

• Have you been waiting for years for the chance to irradiate spinach with FDA approval? If so, your time has come. [Washington Post]

• Is you local sushi restaurant ripping you off? Quite possibly! Is this the second time in a year this has been a news story? Quite possibly! [New York Times]

• Hurricane Fay soaks Florida for the fifth day in a row. We suspect this can't be good for either Florida's delightful residents or its delicious crops. [LA Times]

• Best. Cranberry crop. EVER. [Boston Globe]

• Burger King's profits went up 42% in the last quarter, but investors remain nonplussed. [Chicago Tribune]

As a New Englander, we grew up thinking certain words were totally normal, only to have illusions shattered when we got to college. For example, a traffic circle is a "rotary" and a water fountain a "bubbler," and we honestly didn't know otherwise. Although we betray our Massachusetts roots with these words, our most pronounced regional words are definitely food terms, and the soda vs. pop vs. coke map that has been circulating this week has only fed into our latent stubbornness about the correct names for different foods.

First, this map. It shows "pop" dominating the Northwest and Midwest, "coke" being the preferred moniker in the South, and "soda" as the fave nomenclature in the Northeast and on the West Coast. (Soda is also the name of choice in all of the MenuPages cities. Fancy that!) The soft drink issue gets even fuzzier in the face of more obscure regional names. Supposedly, some people in New England call it "tonic" although we've never heard this. Ever. The Wikipedia page for soft drink naming conventions says that Southerners also call soda "drink" or "cold drink," which just seems confusing.

We're pretty sure that we're right about soda being soda, but that's hardly the last word in regional food names. New Englanders seem to be the most persnickety about their words, but the differences exist everywhere. One person's milkshake is another one's frappe, Floridians call Mahi Mahi "dolphin," and some people put sprinkles on their ice cream while others go for jimmies. Aside from soft drinks, the sandwich naming divide seems to be the biggest of all, with hoagie vs. sub duking it out for top dog. Again though, a Wikipedia page exists for the Submarine sandwich category, and it is all over the place. Hero, grinder, po' boy, Italian... and the list just goes on and on.

By the by, one last bit on the subject of the soft drink map: we're super curious about what's going on in sections of the map where one name is a complete outlier. What's going on with that one northwestern corner of Nebraska where they call it soda in a sea of pops? Why is it that the two opposing coasts are both holding down the "soda" fort? (And can we turn this political?)

[Photo: via sx70manipulator/Flickr]

Tomorrow is Friday, which is the day we review the reviews on the Sun-Times's website, and the prospect of that generally fills our hearts with dread because their website is SO FREAKING AWFUL.

In light of that, this is kind of making us embarrassingly giddy with happiness.

Is the Sun-Times Test-Driving a New Web Design? [Chicagoist]

• Let's all say it together: recession. The entire food team at the Tribune gives us a delicious take on our economic downturn, listing their favorite food deals all over the city. Highlighted here, among others: the $5 glasses of wine at La Madia that, if you are at the bar, come with free pizza samples from 4-6pm on weekdays; the $6.50 bureka for two at Deta's Cafe, the $23 prix fixe dinner at Cafe Matou, and — for a special evening — Phil Vettel suggests the $89 Surf 'n turf for two at Holy Mackerel (70 Yorktown Center, Lombard, 630 953 3444). [Tribune]

• Monica Eng asks a really good question: With Mayor Daley so gung-ho on promoting health and active lifestyles, why's it illegal for street vendors to sell prepared fruits and veggies? Apparently "anytime [vendors] compromise the skin of the fruit, it becomes illegal," which seems a little overpaternalistic to us. And to Monica. Also, those cucumbers she talks about sound amazing. [Tribune]

• A whopping 3 stars from Phil Vettel to Clarendon Hill's new southern-comfort-esque Soul (1 Walker Ave, Clarendon Hills, 630 920 1999). The restaurant is the brainchild of the same guys who brought us Le Lan, but they've committed themselves here to the work of chef Karen Nicholas, who takes classic American southern and soul dishes and imbues them with a high-end twist. The usual suspects are there: hoppin' john, hush puppies, collard greens, candied yams. Vettel thinks it's handled expertly, and is particularly enamored of the work of pastry chef Stephanie Prida, whose "desserts are so impressive that it's probably just a matter of time before some deep-pocketed restaurant lures her away, so enjoy the sweets while you can."

The weirdness comes in the last paragraph of the review: Vettel has what he calls an "Anton Ego moment" (funny, we always thought that was a Proustian moment, but Disney'll do over great literature) when faced with a dish of caramelized peach slices, raspberries in a port reduction, lemon verbena ice cream, and toasted pound-cake croutons. Which apparently, for Phil Vettel, was the summer dish when he was a kid. Which seems a little, um, highbrow? For a kid? Decades ago? But we digress. [Vettel, Tribune]

[Photo: A street vendor in Colombia selling sliced mangos, which are illegal to sell on the streets of Chicago, via xmascarol's Flickr]

• David Tamarkin profiles Jessica Volpe, who calls herself Pasta Puttana (yeah, you read it right) and makes and sells her fresh pasta at the Edgewater and Green City markets: red-chile linguine (or roasted tomato when she's at Green City), golden-egg pappardelle, white-wine tagliatelle, and herbed tagliatelle. And now! Fun personal story about us: When we were in our first year of college, two critical things happened. First, we took Italian 101, and learned what the "puttanesca" in "pasta puttanesca" meant. Second, we lived a scant few blocks from a restaurant called Fresh Pasta, that served (you guessed it!) freshly-made pasta. Both of these things changed our life in nontrivial ways: we now giggle and say "slutty pasta!" whenever we see pasta puttanesca on the menu, and we will happily maul angry bears for the opportunity to eat freshly rolled-out pappardelle. ["The Pasta Puttana"]

• Speaking of Italian, Piccolo Sogno goes under the Heather Shouse-wielded knife this week. She has a hard time shaking off the glow of the patio — a dreamy, lush outdoor space with flickering lights and tinkling glass — to pay attention to the service and the food. But pay attention she does: the waiter is only a bracketing presence to the meal, taking orders and delivering the check, and (with some exceptions) the food is poorly executed. In particular, meats are uniformly overcooked. While the schtick of a wood-fired grill is a mouthwatering one, not being able to temper the flames is enough to lead Shouse to suggest that diners avoid the entrees entirely, focusing instead on the solidly executed pastas and small plates. [Shouse, TOC]

A new Burger King ad campaign seems to have struck a chord of resentment with at least one critic, as it portrays a cow apparently furious to have not been turned into food. From AdFreak (Via Coldmud):

[T]his new BK ad falls flat by failing to address why a cow would be mad at someone for not killing and eating it. That's the kind of relationship I'd want broken if I were the cow. But then, what this guy does with livestock in his private life is none of our business.

Cows desperate to become BK hamburgers [AdFreak]

"That's why I was buying the vodka. I'm not good at coping."

— Fruit Slinger, who has too much fruit

Skillet Doux is still on his whirlwind Arizona tour, and has stumbled upon a place that purports to sell a real, authentic Chicago-style hot dog. The restaurant is called Zack's ... Hot Dogs With An Attitude, and we personally are very skeptical of restaurants with subtitles. But they seem to do ok.

Their attempts at Italian beef, however, meet another fate:

I cannot possibly express how awful this Italian beef sandwich was.

Defending Chicago's Honor [Skillet Doux]

• A visit to Hooters — er, American Owl Restaurant — in China [Chicago Tribune]

• A guide to Pamela Anderson's favorite LA Vegan Food. [LA Times]

• A crime wave persists in Oakland, Calif., with robbers holding up restaurants, Pulp Fiction-style. [SF Chronicle]

• Massachusetts considering a ban on trans-fats. [MarketWatch]

Do you have a spare $250 lying around? How about a decent knowledge of wines? Apparently that's all you need to get an Award of Excellence from Wine Spectator. No actual restaurant necessary. Robin Goldstein, author of The Wine Trials, made up a restaurant and sent in an application to the magazine, in a sort of experiment to see exactly how they come up with these awards.

As part of the research for an academic paper I’m currently working on about standards for wine awards, I submitted an application for a Wine Spectator Award of Excellence. I named the restaurant “Osteria L’Intrepido” (a play on the name of a restaurant guide series that I founded, Fearless Critic). I submitted the fee ($250), a cover letter, a copy of the restaurant’s menu (a fun amalgamation of somewhat bumbling nouvelle-Italian recipes), and a wine list.

Osteria L’Intrepido won the Award of Excellence, as published in print in the August 2008 issue of Wine Spectator. (Not surprisingly, the Osteria’s listing has been removed from Wine Spectator’s website since I posted this.) I presented this result at the meeting of the American Association of Wine Economists in Portland, Oregon, on Friday, August 15.

It’s troubling, of course, that a restaurant that doesn’t exist could win an Award of Excellence. But it’s also troubling that the award doesn’t seem to be particularly tied to the quality of the supposed restaurant’s “reserve wine list,” even by Wine Spectator’s own standards. Although the main wine list that I submitted was a perfectly decent selection from around Italy meeting the magazine’s numerical criteria, Osteria L’Intrepido’s “reserve wine list” was largely chosen from among some of the lowest-scoring Italian wines in Wine Spectator over the past few decades.

• An examination, dissection, history, and plaudit to the amuse bouche: that little bite-sized tidbit served gratis before the first course. Fun fact not found in the article: it is by and large our favorite facet of the dining out experience! ["Good things come in small packages"]

• The new crop of frozen yogurt vendors like Starfruit aren't just glossy, trendy, and delicious; they're also (quite possibly) good for you! They claim their fro-yo contains live and active cultures, which can be beneficial to digestive health. ["Latest frozen yogurt touts true health benefits"]

• Trisha Yearwood wrote a cookbook. (So, btw, did Vincent Price.) Now you, too, can learn how to cook for Garth Brooks! We jest here, but we know that our roommate would swoon a dozen times over this. ["Southern exposure"]

• Did you hear about this restaurant opening in Aurora? Chronic? Embryonic? Histrionic? Actually to be fair the S-T used a pretty awesome punning headline. ["Sonic vroom"]

• Chocolate-covered bacon! Is a thing! That can be eaten! ["Everything, yes, even chocolate, tastes better with bacon"]

[Photo: Chocolate-covered bacon from Bleeding Heart Bakery, which is not mentioned in the article for some unfathomable reason, via Bleeding Heart Bakery's Flickr]

But it turns out that our fears were unfounded, and we just don't know how to use the internet. It's all there. Specifically:

• Chris Borelli does a Q&A with Jessie Oloroso, a pastry chef turned gelato-making-machine. The owner (and sole employee) of Black Dog Gelato, she whips up 60 gallons a week of the frozen stuff for restaurants like Uncommon Ground. Her current favorite flavor is sesame oil and fig with chocolate chip. Of course. [Adventures in gelato]

• Forget Slow Food — the new movement is Home Food. Based in Italy, it wants to preserve classic Italian home cooking techniques and recipes. The movement leaders are italian mothers and grandmothers, and they've gone high-tech: If you're planning a trip to Italy, you can visit their website and schedule dinners in the homes of members. Sounds amazing to us. [When in Italy....here's how to eat real Italian food]

• Battle of the cinematic wine snobs! Bill Daley reviews Merlove, a freewheeling documentary about Merlot that aims to undo the damage done by that fateful scene in Sideways. [Merlot lovers strike back in new film]

• A day in the life of Elaine and Jack Comerford, youthful entrants in the Illinois State Fair cooking competitions. Elaine's making brownies, Jack is making "Hawaiian Spamball," a mixture of cream cheese, Spam, pineapple, banana pepper, and nuts. He won't eat it, 'cause he doesn't like cheese. Want to know what happens? Read the article. No spoilers here! [Blue ribbon dynasty]

• The cupcake wars continue! Newcomer Molly's Cupcakes gets a glowing writeup. [New shop is a study in cupcakes]

[Photo: Molly's red velvet cupcake (it shoudl be illegal for us to be allowed to look at this when we are in need of a snack, btw), via zesmerelda's Flickr]

Slice's Daniel Zemans sits at the chef's table at La Madia, is sold hard on the thin-crust pizzas. We briefly wondered if he was there at the same time as the Chicago Pizza Club visitors, and then realized that the accompanying photos in each article are identical. PIZZA CONSPIRACY?!

Is Chicago's La Madia a Pizzeria or Restaurant? Who Cares? [Slice]
Good Seats: The Chef's Table At La Madia [MenuPages Chicago]
La Madia [MenuPages]
La Madia [Official Site]

It's a busy morning here at MenuPages headquarters as we prepare to move our Rube Goldberg-style menu-updating contraption over to our new corporate home, New York magazine. You heard about that, right? They bought the company. We're actually really stoked.

But things are probably going to be in a bit of a tizzy around here for the rest of the week as we disassemble Bunsen burners, put the little bag over the chicken's head, pack up the golf-ball track, wind up the string, etc. The Magic Menu Machine will stay top secret because it has 1 million moving parts, which change every day.

As we curse ourselves for not labeling the 45-lb. bag of screws that holds our Magic Menu Machine together, we look forward to more communication from readers, restaurateurs, and other bloggers. In addition to the most complicated mechanical contraption in the world, what makes MenuPages special is your input, including ratings, reviews, comments, and tips. Thanks for your participation so far. We look forward to a future as a five-star (or 30-point, or 10-mustache) resource for all your dining-out needs.

[Photo: via Freshwater 2006]

We know, we know. We proclaim our love of Fatburger to the heavens and, given the opportunity, we would wax rhapsodic about Chik-fil-A (let it be known that if those crazy folks decide to open a branch in our town, this blog will go insane and will post nonstop about the event, and you will have to seek your Chicago restaurant information elsewhere). We can't think of a good reason for our avoidance of Sonic coverage short of some deep-seated Freudian aversion to the notion of ... drive-in service? Slushy crushed-ice drinks? Chili-cheese tater tots?

Anyway, we're seeking therapy. You, meanwhile, should go check the place out.

Chicago area's first Sonic Drive-In finally opens Tuesday [Tribune]

[Photo: Sonic's chili-cheese tots, via Fast Food Critic's Flickr]

• Identity thieves are stealing food stamps in New York. How awful do you have to be to steal from someone who cannot afford to buy food? [Newsday]

• Boston mayor's food relief plan includes "increased awareness" and potluck dinners. [Boston Herald]

• Japan's trade houses are looking to get into the food market, particularly grains in China. [Forbes]

• The Cheesecake Factory tops a list of 120 chain restaurants rated by consumers. [MarketWatch]

Happy Tuesday!

Talk about a slow news day! All anybody can talk about is that freaking tapeworm.

"The campus smells of salted herring."

— Jason George
"Lobster is meaty subject," Tribune

Happy 115th birthday, awesome summer beverage! The root beer float was invented on this date in 1893 by Frank Wisner, owner of Cripple Creek Brewing Company in Colorado. Legend has it that one moonlight night, he looked out over Cow Mountain and, to him, the scene reminded him of a big scoop of vanilla ice cream “floating on top of a black, Cow Mountain.” The name of the drink was shortened to "black cow," and the rest was history.

In honor of its quindecentennial (real word!), a bevy of information on all things root-beer-float-tastic:

• Step aside, William Carlos Williams. Three methods for eating a root beer float. The Melting method, the Half-Melted With Spoon method, and the Backwards method. [WikiHow]

• On June 19, 1999, the A&W Root Beer stand in Lodi, California became set the world record for the Largest Root Beer Float at 2562.5 Gallons. [A&W]

• In 2003, Coca-Cola launched Barq's Floatz, a vanilla-spiked offshoot of their Barq's root beer brand, that was supposed to mimic the experience of a soda fountain float. It's no longer available, even though it apparently tasted pretty darn good. [BevNet]

• There are over 2500 brands of commercially produced root beer. This page lists the vast majority of them. [Root Beer World]

• In the late 1800s, The Women's Christian Temperance Union launched a campaign against root beer because it had the word "beer" in it. Root beer magnate Charles Hires had an independent laboratory confirm that "beer" was purely a descriptive term, and the ladies were mollified. [Eat Your History]

• Probably the best homemade making-a-root-bear-float music video of all time, to Tone Loc's Funky Cold Medina. Not that it's a crowded field. [YouTube]

• The Fizz Cup is a plastic thingaroo that you attach to the top of your bottle of root beer (or other soda) and fill with ice cream, in order to make every sip a perfect combo of float flavors. [Gizmodo]

• The "cream" part of the ice cream loves to foam up, so it is advised that makers of root beer floats (and any other type of ice cream soda) add the ice cream last. [We Figured This Out Ourself As A Child]

A 1939 L.A. Times article urging parents to try the novel dessert idea of a root beer float. "Children, especially, are fond of these "floats" which may be concocted in many flavors"!!!!! [L.A. Times (sub req'd)]

[Photo: Root beer float, via jonolist's Flickr]

Have you noticed your grocery bills reaching skyward along with your gas bills? In these tough economic times you've got to economize, and that means eating more lobster. Sorry, but you'll have to buckle down and do it.

An article yesterday in Slate takes a look at why lobster, one of the classic luxury goods, is in the middle of a price slump, especially compared to staples such as grain, meat and olive tapenade. Turns out — at least for coastal denizens — the ugly, delicious sea-cockroaches are kind of the original locavore food:

What explains this crustacean mystery? Food inflation derives from several sources. The price of food can be driven upward by consumer and commercial demand, by speculation in the futures markets, and by producers successfully passing on the higher costs they incur (for gas, fertilizer, labor, processing, packaging, distribution) to buyers. The longer and more complex the supply chain (i.e., olives that are picked in Tunisia, shipped to Italy to be turned into tapenade, and then shipped to Dean & DeLuca to be turned into hors d'oeuvres for yuppies), the greater the opportunities for marking up prices and passing along costs.

Ok, so we don't all live in New England, or even near an ocean, but the economic logic driving this anomaly may just transfer over to other hyper-local products. In San Francisco this winter, barring another oil spill, Dungeness fans could be in relatively flush shape, financially, as could stone crab fans in Florida. Inland cities, obviously, don't have the luxury of dockside seafood sales, but according to this article in the Chicago Tribune, they have fun playing at lobster fishing anyway.

Meanwhile, if you're lucky enough to live in an area where these crustaceans are cheap and plentiful, you've got to get to work. We're nearing the end of both cookout season and New England lobster season, so if you haven't thrown some lobster on the grill, maybe this weekend is the time to do so. We found a really easy recipe on Barbecue Web if you want to give it a shot.

The Great Lobster Mystery [Slate]
Lobster is meaty subject [Chicago Tribune]
Lobster Clam Shrimp Recipe

[Photo: Lobsters for sale at Woodman's, of Essex, Mass. via Paul Keleher/flickr]

Talk about a slow news day! All anybody can talk about is that freaking tapeworm.

We struggled with whether or not to do a post on the tapeworm that a guy is claiming he got by eating some bad salmon at Shaw's Crab House. Normally we try to stay away from things that are gross, and tapeworms? Are gross. But they are also kind of interesting! Maria Callas had one! Allegedly!

We were discussing the matter with MP:SF editor Adam Martin, via IM, when he pointed out something very innnnnnnteresting. Twirl your mustaches folks, because we have THE CASE OF THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING TAPEWORM!

Or okay, really, we would just like to note that in the headline of this article, the malicious beast is a hideous "Nearly 10-Foot Tapeworm," whereas just a few sentences in it suddenly shrinks to become a "nine-foot long tapeworm."

Journalists exaggerate! Is nothing sacred! It's also worth noting, before you shun seafood in fear of giant nine- (or possibly ten!) foot worms, that the dude in question ate "periodically" at Shaw's between May and August of 2006. We advise you to continue your normal behavior.

It's also also worth noting that the Tribune's article found no reason to exaggerate in the headline. Like some news outlets we can think of. Ahem. NBC.

Suit: Man Gets Nearly 10-Foot Tapeworm From Seafood Restaurant [NBC5]
Man sues restaurant for giving him 9-foot tapeworm [Tribune]
Shaw's Crab House [MenuPages]
Shaw's Crab House [Official Site]

In the left corner, Mike Nagrant: Eater-about-town and Ludicrously proficient writer.

In the right corner, Darwensi. Foul-mouthed dudebro and Chicago Glutton.

The issue at stake: Yats.

As we all recall, Nagrant eviscerated the newbie Cajun/Creole resto in a NewCity review, using phrases so pointed and piquant that we are reluctant to revisit them and potentially spoil our lunch. On the other hand, the Chicago Gluttons review is all sunshine and unicorns! Erm, in a manner of speaking. (Because this is a family blog, we are censoring out the more choice vowels and consonants. Asterisks ours):

It ain’t no muhf***in fire drill at Yats; these kids slang flavors like Sysco Foods slangs frozen buffalo wings. Every flavor in the dish is clean, not muddled. Cajun spices are balanced by layering at various stages during creation of the dish which yields a flow of flavors. Taking a bite of a Yats dish is much like slamming the last bowl from a box of Count Chocula. You get the marshmallows AND the toy. Any haters out there that think its not possible to have that cake and eat it too? Well, its time for you to step the f*** off.

We’re going bless Yats with our gold placard of Solid Food Goldness, but unfortunately doesn’t exist yet, so hold tight Joe. Utmost props for creating a product and making that sh** f***ing correct. Lastly, a welcome to the fine city of Chicago. We can’t wait for January when you will electric blanket our cold souls.

Yuckin It Up at Yats [Chicago Gluttons]
New City: Yats Ain't All That [MenuPages Chicago]
Yats [MenuPages]
Yats [Official Site]

[Photo of a groaning table at Yats via Chicago Gluttons]

We have it on good authority that Dorie Greenspan responds to Facebook messages.

Do not abuse this power, good bakers of the world.

• Only sporadic conveys of food aid have made it to Georgia; food is "the major issue." [AP/NYT]
• Companies like Wal-Mart are taking on food safety issues, thanks to increased consumer awareness (and, um, litigiousness). [L.A. Times]
• Apparently peppers from Mexico have been consistently problematic, long before the salmonella scare. [AP/NYT]
• Possible fraudulent grape-mixing in Siena, Italy has the wine world in an uproar. [Tribune]
• A British watchdog group wants to stamp out "bawdy" and "humorous" beer names. [The Publican]

According to Jane McEwen, the executive director of International Packaged Ice Association, ice is water’s “sister product.”

As a sibling, ice is both mutable and fickle. “There are different forms of ice,” Ms. McEwen explained, and while every cube of ice has the same essential end point — and a purpose little understood in countries like, say, England or France — its use can be manipulated, ice experts say, to improve the quality of the drink it cools. Thus, there is fragmented ice (soda fountain drinks), nugget and cube ice (mixed drinks) and ice that is shaved. There is ice with dimpled ends that is ideal for chewing. There is ice manufactured using patented Japanese methods for eliminating the air bubbles that cloud a cocktail, inhibiting it from becoming a beautiful elixir, frigid and mystically clear.

If you happen to be in the Big Apple, you may want to sample Tailor’s two-inch cubes, which fit perfectly inside a rocks glass and look like miniature works of art. They can be purchased at a mere $15. (Firewater is, of course, included.) Eben Freeman, the bartender at Tailor, is an old pro at re-inventing the quotidian, even the very ordinary and unremarkable icicle.

I Like My Ice Chilled Just So [New York Times]
Drink: Eben Freeman is a Magical Mixologist [New York Post]
Tailor [MenuPages]
Tailor [Official Site]

[Photo: Via Tailor Official Site]

It's now on the dessert menu at HB Home Bistro, since Joncarl Lachman, the chef, hails from Limburg. The restaurant has this to say:

The traditions of Belgian, French, and German cooking are more pronounced in this cultural crossroads [of this region]. It's perhaps most evident in the vlaai — as it is much like a traditional French fruit tart.

HB Home Bistro: Features [RIA]
HB Home Bistro [MenuPages]
HB Home Bistro [Official Site]

[Photo: Vlaaien (plural!), via meffi's Flickr]

• Misty at has a new favorite restaurant: Afghan Kabob (4040 W Montrose, 773 427 5041). It is apparently even better than the now-shuttered Afghan Restaurant. [CenterStage]

• 50 under-the-radar restaurants? We'd say it can't be done. Mike Gebert says bring it on. First up: Frank's Karma Cafe in northwest suburban Wauconda. [Sky Full of Bacon]

• Orange serves themed pancake flights. Like, for example, "movie night": a stack topped with Coca-Cola syrup and Coca-Cola mousse, and a stack topped with sweet and salty clarified butter and pieces of popcorn. We should eat brunch there constantly. [Fruit Slinger]

• Gluten-free baking is way harder than it looks. It involves things like xanthan gum. Deerfields Bakery in Schaumberg does a pretty awesome job of it, though. [Chicago Bites]

• Punning restaurant names: do we love them? We're not sure. En*Thai*Ce (get it?!) has "very good" food, despite the questionable name over the door. [Chicago Foodies]

• OSBMS went to Canada! And he ate like a king at Toronto's Cowbell, which is like their version of Mado. [Food Chain]

• Gebert also hits up Stanley's Grille: white noise, nothin' special, not horribly bad. Probably standing in the way of better stuff, though. [Sky Full of Bacon]

• Mike Nagrant goes all the way to Michigan to visit quite possibly the perfect restaurant: "The Journeyman is a culinary dream, a destination so incongruous with its location you’re not sure it really exists. It’s the real life embodiment of fictional isolation fantasies like the Brick bar and restaurant from the TV show Northern Exposure or the Mystic Pizza parlor." [Hungry Mag]

• The Mac & Cheese slice at Ian's Pizza is really more like a Mac slice covered with cheese. It's a subtle, yet crucial, distinction. [Chicago Foodies]

• EMILY WENT TO SCHWA. Y'all. [Chicago Dining Examiner]

[Photo: the mac-n-cheese slice at Ian's, via john kannenberg's Flickr]

Sad news! A tipster has told us that iCream is closed on a limited menu until Wednesday — the equipment couldn't handle the demand on opening day, so they're upgrading. Be patient. Watch the video again.

Update: They are still serving everything else, like the steamed pudding. Just not the ICE CREAM MADE IN LIQUID NITROGEN. Which might be what you were going there for.

Hey look, MP Special Correspondent Joe also made a video of the iCream experience:

We are not gonna lie, this made us giggle like a schoolgirl.

iCream iNsanity: Opening Day Report [MenuPages Chicago]

Remember some time ago when we wondered here about eating penguin meat? Turns out it's illegal and, according to the couple of accounts within easy reach of a Google search, disgusting. But it turns out another animal you've probably seen most often in zoos and picture books might actually be a promising new food source, if you can get past the idea of dining on Kanga and/or Roo.

Serious Eats yesterday linked to a BBC story about an Australian scientist making the case for farming kangaroos as a type of environmentally sustainable livestock:

The methane gas produced by sheep and cows through belching and flatulence is more potent than carbon dioxide in the damage it can cause to the environment.

But kangaroos produce virtually no methane because their digestive systems are different.

MenuPages' very own Carolina Bolado said she tried the meat once at a game dinner, "served rare, with a mild curry sauce. it was my favorite of the night... gamey, but not tough. Very smooth."

But some on the Serious Eats comments board seemed creeped out. One commenter said that from an Australian perspective, eating kangaroo would be like, "an American tucking into a nice roast Bald Eagle." They raised an interesting point, noting that many other meats have names different from the animal (like beef, venison, pork), but kangaroo does not.

Most of the animals we eat regularly don't appear too often in zoos, books, cartoon shows or as stuffed toys. Since kangaroos do, it may be a tough task to get past the cuteness, mentally. Imagine having to explain to your 5-year-old that the meat on the table comes from the same animals as those beloved Winnie the Pooh characters. But the solution does make a lot of sense, darn it! Sometimes practicality can be a tough sell.

Eat Kangaroo, Save The Earth? [Serious Eats]
Eat kangaroo to 'save the planet' [BBC]

[Photos: Fresh pasta with kangaroo and semi-sundried tomatoes via Lachlan Hardy/flickr; Kangaroos via spaceodissey/flickr]

While we were sick this weekend, we sent special MenuPages correspondent Joe Rosner, a.k.a. Our Brother, to go check out the scene on opening day at iCream. He brought nine of his friends. No half measures here!

Quick recap: iCream's concept is DIY ice cream from the bottom up + liquid nitrogen. You order your base (ice cream, yogourt, sorbet), then two flavors, and finally, toppings, which cost a little extra. The cheery lab technicians (I cannot call them ice cream baristas, nor creamery custodians, since this is the future) pour your order into a SCIENCE BEAKER, which they then pour into a Kitchen Aid which churns the concotion as liquid nitrogen is poured in, immediately evaporating into smoke right in front of you whilst freezing the ice cream. This looks INCREDIBLY COOL.

When we entered iCream in Wicker Park on its opening day we realized we were inside an iPod (or at least Steve Jobs' treehouse). A white, curvy-square indoor storefront with futuristic words on the walls (the line is the iFactory, the countertops are the iLab), icy nitrogen tanks, and (of course) touch screens for placing your order. And although we didn't witness it, we were told that soon customers could plug their own iPods (the original Apple ones) into the wall and add songs to a store-wide playlist. All this combined with the cold nitrogen smoke made me feel like a kid in Willy Wonka's factory, except surrounded by taller workers.

Unfortunately, as cool (har har) as the liquid nitrogen and the whole concept were, we were sad the execution didn't pay off. One problem we encountered early in our ten-something ice creams ordering spree was sweetness - we were asked whether or not we wanted our ice cream sweetened at all, and then naturally or artificially. Some of us didn't catch this, got unsweeneted ice cream, and were quite let down (so we had to pump our own shots of corn syrup onto the ice cream at a counter, which really didn't make sense and didn't really help overall). (Also corn syrup is evil! — Ed.)

And then the texture of the ice cream was random - one tasted like gelato, another like hard ice cream, another like "refrozen melted ice cream," according to my friend Andrew. Combined with the overwhelming abundance of choices for your ice cream, the whole experience was very hit or miss - the simple rootbeer/vanilla ice cream (which happened to taste like gelato), and the strawberry/raspberry with extra raspberry topping, were crowned the favorites (we agreed the natural sweetness of the fruit really helped). But the failures haunted us, and we now know never to order coffee/banana ice cream with orange food-coloring ever again.

The prices were relatively inexpensive (no worse than Coldstone's; liquid nitrogen is pretty cheap), the other items like espresso-machine-steamed hot pudding intrigued us, and the store boasts it will stay open till four in the morning on Fridays and Saturdays. We're not sure how long those hours will last, but by the time iCream gets on its feet and maybe comes up with a more fixed, consistent menu, we wouldn't mind stopping by on a weekend to...chill. Har. Har.

— JOE ROSNER

[All photos courtesy Joe Rosner]

We smoke once a week overnight. As I am writing this post the pork is smoking.

— Chef Laurent Gras of L.2O, on making his own bacon
L2O blog

Berkshire Bacon [L2O Blog]
L.2O [MenuPages]
L.2O [Official Site]

Seems like everyone's put a little love in their heart these days: We did not know this, but apparently after 6pm on the last Friday of every month, the folks at Kuma's Corner donate all their tips and their salary to a local charity, and owner Mike Cain matches the amount.

For this reason (as well as, we imagine, serving burgers that make full-grown men nervous, and hot dogs with names that cannot be uttered in the presence of ladies), the Sun-Times has seen fit to make Mike Cain one of the 50 people who make Chicago a better place:

Donations have gone to the Chicago Abused Women Coalition, the Paul Green School of Rock and a fund to pay medical expenses for injured Roller Derby star Tequila Mockingbird. Earlier this year, Kuma's Corner raised $8,700 to help pay bills for Mat Arluck, guitarist of the hardcore band Sweet Cobra, who is going through his second battle with cancer.

"We were starting to do well here," said Cain, a Melrose Park native. "And you know what? As long as we're doing well, we might as well give back to the community. It's important. It's karma. If you do something good for someone else it comes back to help you."

50 people who make Chicago a better place: Part 1 [Sun-Times]
Kuma's Corner [MenuPages]
Kuma's Corner [Official Site]

[Photo: The Kuma's Corner menu cover, via DROOO's Flickr]

Other farmers caught wind of the deal, and the next year the restaurant gave about $10,000 to a farmer in North Adams, Mich., to help buy a herd of goats and was repaid in meat and cheese. A similar arrangement was made with a local lettuce farmer.

These informal relationships continued for four years, funded by $10,000 the restaurant put aside for the no-interest loans, until Mr. Bayless and his staff decided they were tired of cooking at charity events that supported causes they didn't feel personally connected to.

In 2003, during a brainstorming session in Frontera's cookbook-lined library, they decided to formalize the loans by starting a non-profit foundation that would give grants to local farmers who primarily use organic methods, which are easier on the soil. It's a group the staff felt passionate about supporting.

"We fund people who are really interested in making a difference, both in the earth and their communities," says Mr. Bayless ... "Great local cuisine only comes from great local agriculture."

Frontera Grill's seeds take root [Chicago Business]
Frontera Grill [MenuPages]
Frontera Grill [Official Site]

[Photo: How much of this plate of Quesadillas & Beans is locally sourced, hm? via zesmerelda's Flickr]

But we soldier on! In fact, on Friday, at the apex of feeling horrible and wanting to die, we were sort of lying waxenly in bed, listening to NPR (we are, yes, that sort of sick person), and on came a story about the battle between the residents of artsy upcoming neighborhood East Pilsen and the owners of late-night hot dog/Polish stand Express Grill (1260 S Union Ave, 312 738 2112), who want to open a 24-hour franchise of their sausagery in the neighborhood:

Bakery owner Carlos Chavarria says it would bring traffic, loud customers and garbage.

CHAVARRIA: My son loves hot dogs. I love hot dogs. It's not the issue. It's not one business versus another. It's about a neighborhood concern about the potential chaos that would be brought forth with this kind of establishment coming in.

"This is a threat, not an opportunity for our neighborhood," says Carlos Chavarria, who owns Kristoffer's Cafe and Bakery on Halsted. ... Then there's the traffic jams and litter and overflowing Dumpsters, not to mention the rodents, graffiti, prostitution and double-parked cars, Chavarria says.

Chavarria's not the only person speaking out against Express Grill, but he's also up against stiff competition from residents who would welcome the injection of variety into East Pilsen's somewhat lackluster dining scene.

Now that we can stomach the thought of actually eating (but gently — only gently), we will admit that there is a fairly permanent place both in our life and in our heart for a late-night dog topped with fried onions. But we will also point out that we can smell the onions from Express (and its nearby rival, Jim's) when we are driving on the Dan Ryan. And we are not entirely sure we would welcome with open arms that smell into, say, our bedroom.

The debate rages on! And, um, will be resolved tonight. At a meeting which will pit neighborhood officials (including Alderman Danny Solis, major wheel in the Daley machine) against the Express Grill folks. Sun-Times is calling odds against. We'll keep you posted.

Hot Dog Controversy...in Chicago? [WBEZ]
Sausage showdown [Sun-Times]

[Photo: Polish, Chicago-style, via ejholmes's Flickr]

• Aspiring reality TV show contestants are advised to pull on their fats pants and their running shoes! The Food Network is set to run "Eat the Clock," which can be summed up as competitive eating meets "The Amazing Race." [Reuters]

• Wild Maine blueberries may be about as "wild" as a lion in a zoo, but that doesn't stop them from being full of complexity, both in taste and within the species. [NYT]

• To catalog under 'nature is neat-o': chile peppers produce their own pesticides as a means of fending off toxic fungi. [LA Times]

• This weekend bore more sad news for the fishes, with some few hundred found dead in Rhode Island. [Boston]

• Chinese officials have cracked down on streets vendors, but it's still possible to sample local delicacies in Beijing. Think sea horses, bee cocoons, centipedes, and deep fried scorpion. [Toronto Sun]

Talk about late to the party! Well, let's just call ourselves fashionable. We found this post from last March (!) on the North by Northwestern website, which is like 1,000 years old in blog time, but it's so perfect, we have to link it here. Check it out, at least one person's (perfectly reasonable) list of the Top 10 Food-Centric Videos. We'll give you no. 5, the California Raisins doing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, cause it's really weird and you probably haven't thought about these guys for a while. If you want the rest, click the link.

The top ten food-centric music videos [North By Northwestern]

• We're awfully sweet on martinis these days [MP: Boston]

• Ice cream made with liquid nitrogen sounds like it might be more fun to talk about than to eat. [MP: Chicago]

• Hitachino Owl beer: sweet! Its increasing scarcity: not so sweet. [MP: Philadelphia]

• Go nuts for doughnuts! [MP: San Francisco]

• A collection of 4000 plus menus from around the world must be some pretty good reading. [MP: South Florida]

Today is a very important day! It is the day iCream opens! In 45 minutes!

Unfortunately your intrepid editor has been knocked out by a horrific round of what appears to be food poisoning (we'll never tell which restaurant did us in!) (joking! It was a home-cooked meal!), so we are going to be slow in posting today. If you've stopped by iCream, or for that matter anywhere else interesting, whether it does or does not involve liquid nitrogen, do let us know.

• The number of oxygen-deprived "dead zones" in the ocean is growing. This can't be good for the fishies! [Washington Post]

• If you want to waste water in Los Angeles, it's going to cost you. [LA Times]

• The immigration raid on an Iowa kosher meatpacking plant may have had judicial interference. [New York Times]

• The French equivalent of the Department of Health has had a busy summer shutting down restaurants. [Guardian]

• Childhood chronic ear infections can cause a craving for sweets and fatty foods in adulthood. This explains so much. [BBC News]

Exciting news, America (specifically Chicago-region)! As MP Chicago reported, Kanye West is opening a Fatburger franchise in Chicago and environs. The first KW Foods LLC-owned Fatburger is slated to open next month, and will be the first of ten.

We are happy for Chicago (by all accounts, Fatburger tastes awesome), but even happier for Kanye who gets to join a vaunted rank occupied by Jay-Z, Ludacris, P. Diddy, among others. We're not talking about album sales here, or Grammys, sneaker endorsements, or novelty Christmas albums. No. We mean that of rappers who own dining establishments.

As it turns out, Kanye is not the first hip-hop celebrity to own a Fatburger. Alledgedly, rappers E-40 and Queen Latifah both own franchises here in the US, and Pharrell owns one in China. After the jump, more rapper restaurateurs.

Moving beyond fast food joints, Jay-Z is the proud proprietor of the 40/40 Club, a sports bar and lounge with locations in New York, Atlantic City, Las Vegas, Tokyo, and Macau. There's a quote on the website, from Jigga himself, describing the club as "conducive to [his] lifestyle," which must count for something, right?

Kanye may be the newest kid on the restaurant-owning block, but before he announced his Fatburger intentions, Ludacris was the most recent one. Ludacris's restaurant is part of the Straits stable of restaurants, and is upscale Asian Fusion. His inspiration for opening a restaurant? From his own mouth:

During my travels, I've experienced some of the most diverse international culinary flavours in the world. After experiencing Yeo's modern spin on Singaporean cuisine combined with the sexy dining experience, I wanted to bring this restaurant home to Atlanta.

A word of warning to future rappers-turned-restauranteurs though! Owning a restaurant might not always be the low-key gambit you were hoping for. Just ask P. Diddy about Justin's: sure, the Atlanta location is still in business, but the New York flagship is shuttered. What's more, it just so happens to be where Fabolous got shot in the leg! Oops.

"Kanye West to launch burger chain" [Guardian UK]
"Ludacris -- Rapper Turner Entrepreneur?" [Fast Company]
"Ludacris To Launch Restaurant" [Young Hollywood]

• Speaking as one who honed her teenage palate in the staid bistros and canned-sauce Italian joints of the south 'burbs, we are quite psyched to learn of this introduction to the area: Phil Vettel hands over 2 stars to Dan McGee 330 W Lincoln Highway, Frankfort, 815 469 7750). Dan McGee is both the name of the restaurant and the name of the guy in the kitchen — a CIA grad who's paid his dues in hotel kitchens, at Charlie Trotter's, and on two other continents (which ones, Phil?! We yearn to know!). The place is in a strip mall, but if you can get past that, you'll find "compositions of generally familiar foodstuffs marked by artful, clean presentations and subtle seasonings." There are, of course, highs and lows: a "gummy disaster" of a risotto cake mars an otherwise lovely shrimp dish, but also a creative halibut/short rib riff on surf-and-turf. All in all we're on board: the south side's not the wasteland most folks think it is, and we're grateful Dan McGee is helping turn that misconception around. [Vettel, Tribune]

• We don't know how Chris Borrelli does it, but the guy gets the best article assignments we know of. First there was the kayak thing, and now he's out being BFFs with chef Martial Noguier (for now, but not for long, of one sixtyblue) and rounding up the city's best chilled soups. Borrelli summarizes the oxymoronic dish ideally:

Stripped of the rich smell, and devoid of the curling wafts that rise from a warm puree, no matter how sophisticated your palate, no matter how familiar with the concept you are, conditioning and experience kicks in and cold soup seems sort of incongruous. I should be finishing this bowl with a straw, you think, not a spoon.

• Dear Monica Eng,
Why do you have to call sandwiches "sammies" in your headline? We gave you the benefit of the doubt, actually, and arrived at the hypothesis that you were dealing with column-width space restrictions in the printed paper, so we actually counted the number of characters (including spaces!) in the whole hed, and you come in at 32 — which is 8 less than the 40 it took for A 'Biggest Loser's' calorie-busting tips. And you really only needed 3 more characters for "sandwiches." So, um, that hypothesis failed. Anyway, don't call them "sammies," please, because that is a Rachael Rayism, and we very strongly deeply and with great vehemence dislike Rachael Ray, especially now that we have learned that she makes $18 million a year.

Anyhoo, yes, we are totally on board with you: Knead Marketplace (13 S. LaGrange Rd, LaGrange, 708 482 7910) sounds like they make some really good stuff, and we are kind of digging the cutesy names. In fact, we would consider renaming "Barbara's Last Request" (seared steak, hollandaise sauce, romaine lettuce, and a poached egg in a fresh ciabatta roll) "Helen's Last Request." Our last request right before the "sandwich" thing.

xoxo
MenuPages [Eng, Tribune]

Here's the scoop: buy a ticket, show up with a dish and a chair, and drink some fancy wines and have some fancy fun. Tickets benefit the Chicago delegates to Terra Madre, "a world meeting of food communities." As Damien tells us: "Greg Hall from Goose Island, Michael Thompson of the Honey Coop and a slew of small farmers will all go to Italy for the event, and hopefully bring back ideas that will make us happier eaters."

The event tonight is at The Chicago Honey Coop (3740 W. Fillmore), tickets ($15 for members, $20 nonmembers) get you all-you-can-drink beer from Goose Island, wine from Candid, and bread from Italian Superior Bakery. Plus, presumably, your share of whatever everyone else brings.

Tomato Festival and Potluck Supper at the Chicago Honey Coop [SlowFood Chicago]

[Photo: Tomato harvest, via joeysplanting's Flickr]

• Fun fact: It's cheaper for restaurants to buy an entire animal and butcher it in-house than it is for them to buy pre-butcherd parts. Heather Shouse convinces chefs at big-name restaurants all over the city to reveal how they're using every single part of their pigs and lambs, including the so-called "fifth quarter": the head, tail, feet, and offal. It's not for the squeamish, but it is for the hungry. Particularly dedicated to this whole-animal eating is Blackbird, where we learn that whole small pigs are deboned, brined, and then turned into confit, and that an entire lamb is deboned and ground to feed hungry lunch-eaters as lamb burgers. [TOC]

• We learn some more exciting things about Heather Shouse in her review of Mana Food Bar (1742 W Division St, 773 342 1742), namely that she is dating a vegetarian and thus "drowning in seitan." But Mana promises to change that: the vegetarian small-plates restaurant shies away from faux-meat, instead turning to fresh vegetables and legumes for inspiration. The results are mixed — no dish merits a rave (the closest we get is "garlicky, well-seasoned hummus"), but there's only one Marianas Trench of a dish: a "truly disastrous," "nearly inedible" attempt at pho. Four stars out of six. [Shouse, TOC]

• Kind of an opposite situation for David Tamarkin's coverage of Madame Tartine. The French bistro falls short more or less everywhere: cookie-cutter jazz-age-Paris decor that looks like it came from Target, underseasoned steak, fatty lardons in the frisee (we hate that!) — and those were the best dishes. The bad ones are, well, worse: rubbery lobster, flavorless duck confit, cruddy wine. Hey, at least the photo looks good. Two out of six. [Tamarkin, TOC]

[Photo: Beef diagram, via James*C's Flickr]

Seriously, the dude is everywhere.

Never Judge a Vietnamese Restaurant by Its Pho (At Least in Chicago) [SeriousEats]

If Mike Nagrant's teardown of Yats yesterday put you off your Cajun & Creole, put it back on! Centerstage has a full day's Delta dining itinerary that goes nowhere near the place.

Highlights include uber-authentic chicory coffee at Ba Le Bakery, gumbo at Lagniappe, and beans and rice at Dixie Kitchen & Bait Shop (that location allegedly won't be there for long, so definitely try to hit it up).

The only element of this roundup with which we take issue is author K. Tighe's claim that "Every year around this time, I find myself longing for a trip to New Orleans." Dude. It is August. We have been to New Orleans in August, and it is only with great effort that we live to tell the tale: Around this time of year, entering that city is like stepping into a sauna on full blast while wearing seven layers of winter clothing. We are as in favor of going to New Orleans and eating until we lose consciousness as the next gal, but not in August. We are not insane.

Chi-Town Bayou [CenterStage Chicago]
Ba Le Bakery [MenuPages]
Ba Le Bakery [Official Site]
Lagniappe [MenuPages]
Dixie Kitchen & Bait Shop [MenuPages]
Dixie Kitchen & Bait Shop [Official Site]

[Photo: Dixie Kitchen's Southern Sampler, via sutton hoo's Flickr]

We got a little over-excited during this morning's FYI when we discovered that Julia Child had been a spy for the United States' Office of Secret Services — the precursor to the Central Intelligence Agency — during World War II. Come to find out that's old news, but what's new is the opening of her service record, along with the identities and records of her OSS colleagues:

The OSS files offer details about other agents, including Supreme Court Justice Arthur Goldberg, baseball player Moe Berg, historian Arthur Schlesinger Jr. and film actor Sterling Hayden.

Other notables identified in the files include John Hemingway, son of author Ernest Hemingway; Kermit Roosevelt, son of President Theodore Roosevelt; and Miles Copeland, father of Stewart Copeland, drummer for the band The Police.

She started out at OSS Headquarters in Washington, working directly for General William J. Donovan, the leader of OSS. Working as a research assistant in the Secret Intelligence division, Julia typed up thousands of names on little white note cards, a system that was needed to keep track of officers during the days before computers. Although her encounters with the General were minor, she recalled later in life that his “aura” always remained with her.

Julia then worked with the OSS Emergency Sea Rescue Equipment Section, where she helped develop shark repellent. The repellent was a critical tool during WWII, and was coated on explosives that were targeting German U-boats. Before the introduction of the shark repellent, curious sharks would sometimes set off the explosives when they bumped into them.

From 1944-1945, Julia was sent overseas and worked in Ceylon, present day Sri Lanka, and Kunming, China. During these last two years in the OSS, Julia served as Chief of the OSS Registry. Julia -- having top security clearances -- knew every incoming and outgoing message that passed throughout her office, as her Registry was serving all the intelligence branches. During her time in Ceylon, Julia handled highly classified papers that dealt with the invasion of the Malay Peninsula. Julia was fascinated with the work, even when there were moments of danger.

The Lady Was a Spy [NPR]
A Look Back ... Julia Child: Life Before French Cuisine [CIA]
Julia Child, spy? [Chicago Tribune/wire report]

[Photo: via Wikimedia]

It is local only in that it comes from a Thai restaurant a block away and sustainable only in that I'm pretty sure no tofu was harmed in the production of the meal. It's really good.

—Fruit Slinger on the tofu pad thai at Spoon Thai Restaurant.

Untitled [Fruit Slinger]
Spoon Thai Restaurant [MenuPages]
Spoon Thai Restaurant [Official Site]

1. Gale Gand, co-owner of TRU and one of our personal culinary heroes, is rumored to be contributing to the site, and we are really psyched to read what she has to say.

2. Mike Doyle of Chicago Carless is already contributing to the site, and we like him very much.

3. They link to us on the homepage, and because we are giant balls of ego, that makes us feel better about just about everything.

Welcome to the neighborhood, HuffPo! Now start paying your bloggers.

HuffPost Goes Local: Introducing HuffPost Chicago [HuffPoChi]
TRU [MenuPages]
TRU [Official Site]
Chicago Carless [Official Site]

[Photo: Banana crepes at Tru, where Gale Gand is exec pastry chef, via yumminthetummyblog's Flickr]

Bonus #4: "HuffPoChi" is really fun to say out loud, especially if you say it "hufPOchee."

This just in: State Street hotel-in-progress theWit (lack of space and internal capitalization [sic]) is contracting their dining to Concentrics Restaurants:

theWit's first floor will feature an Americana restaurant, serving the country's best traditional cuisine. A fine dining restaurant offering authentic Italian fare will helm the hotel's second floor, while a chic lounge and eatery will be situated on the 27th floor rooftop, offering hotel guests and Chicago locals a sharp rooftop lounge with unique indoor and outdoor seating boasting a strong beverage program and chef driven small plates.

Plus, CitySearch Atlanta voted TAP, their "upmarket and eclectic" gastropub, the eighth-best first date spot in the city. That's something!

Thus far they've only got spots open in Georgia and Florida, though, so it remains to be seen how well an expansion to Chicago goes over. theWit (the spacing and capitalization are killing us!) isn't scheduled to open until May 2009, so we've got some breath-holding time ahead of us.

The Restaurants at The Wit [Official Site]
Nationally Acclaimed Restaurant Group to Launch Concepts in Chicago's theWit Hotel [Yahoo/Press Release]

• Julia Child (yes, THE Julia Child) was a spy for the OSS in World War II! [Chicago Tribune]

• A top Chinese food safety official commits suicide. [New York Times

• Burger King employee takes bath in restaurant sink. Makes newspaper. [USA Today]

• Stupid salmonella won't go away. Now it's in pet food. Maybe. [LA Times]

• Loyal customers raise money for a flood-damaged Iowa restaurant. Warms the heart. [Iowa City Press-Citizen]

• There's a ... well, what is this? We're not sure if it's a review or a rewording of a PR pitch, but there's a, let's call it a description, of Perennial. Bruno has already reviewed the restaurant, so yeah. Description sounds about right.

• Don't know what to do with all those fruits and vegetables you're supposed to be eating? Here are ways to make it go down easier.

• A paean to the heirloom tomato.

• Ink was actually used to print a review of Uncle Ben's Ready Rice Cajun Style. Unironically. Not a joke.

[Photo: Tomatoes at a Chicago farmer's market, via Mer's Flickr]

Insane. I cannot fathom putting away that much food on a daily basis. The man is eating for four (or more) adults, which naturally makes him a legend in Ann Arbor restaurants. Just imagine the terror in a restaurateur's eyes as he watches Phelps approach an all-you-can-eat buffet. Or perhaps those have been quietly removed from menus in Ann Arbor since his arrival.

If you care to see his daily diet in more detail, check out the graphic from today's New York Post after the jump:

Gives new meaning to the term 'breakfast of champions.'

Phelps's pig secret: he's Boy George [NY Post]
Fuel for Phelps [MetaCafe]

Raise your hand if you've never dreamed of becoming a professional chef. That thudding silence you here? That's the sound of not a single one of you putting your hands in the air. Because everyone has dreamed of becoming a professional chef. Every. One. We just do not believe you if you say you have not had this wish.

When we blithely expressed our desire to cook other people's food for a living to our parents, they took a very practical approach: they hooked us up with the folks at Bamboo Blue, an Asian-fusion restaurant in the south suburbs (try the Asian Nachos!), where for two weeks out of our summer break we got up at 4am to go to the vegetable market, buy noodles in Chinatown, slice endless mangoes for the fresh-fruit smoothies, and basically have the realization hammered into our brains that while we have a near-infinite respect for professional chefs, we substantially lack the cojones to be one ourself.

If you are missing a nearby restaurant at which to intern, we highly recommend reading Emily Nunn's bloglike article on a day in the life of Dominic Zarletti, a 24-year-old student at the nternational Culinary School at the Illinois Institute of Art- Chicago. Reading the article is exhausting. Actually living that day? Almost infinitely more so. A tip of the hat to the folks behind the passthrough, s'il vous plaît . They work hard for their money.

Also in the Trib's food section:

• Breathless coverage of the Country Chef Challenge: at Daley Plaza Farmers Market, chefs from Anteprima, Carnivale, and Coobah did a quasi-Iron-Chef challenge: $50, 30 minutes at the greenmarket, and another 30 minutes to make a dish. Unsurprisingly, deliciousness ensued. (Spoiler! Chef Kaminsky Thomas of Anteprima won!)

• Bill Daley takes a break from telling us what to drink to give us AN INTERACTIVE ONLINE WINE CROSSWORD PUZZLE (presumably not digitally interactive in the paper edition of the Trib) which just might be the greatest thing to cross our monitor all day. And we are totally going to attempt it. Possibly right now.

The Stew reports that Abby Mandel, founder and guiding force behind the Green City Market, has died. Abby was a culinary force to be reckoned with, and made our entire city better for her efforts to bring local produce and sustainable agriculture to everyone. Her legacy is undeniable. She'll be missed greatly.

Green City Market founder Abby Mandel dies [The Stew]

The gauntlet, dudes, is thrown down. When we heralded the opening of Yats (955 W Randolph St, 312 829 7930), we had no idea it would come to this. Mike Nagrant at NewCity has visited, and we are basically speechless in the face of this review:

I was so appalled by the experience and the food at YATS Cajun-Creole Cuisine, a new Chicago location of a popular quick-service Indianapolis-based restaurant, I’m having a hard time avoiding a hyperbolic damning diatribe. Eating there last week was the worst dining experience—and that includes trips to the now-shuttered Bennigans—of my career as a food writer.

Nagrant goes into excruciating detail about the food, but we're going to hold off on the temptation to just blockquote the entire review wholesale, and encourage you to go read it yourself. All in all, this is the most gleeful evisceration we've read since Anthony Lane reviewed The Phantom of the Opera. We feel a little bad for Yats — as commenter Marc Fishman pointed out, the storefront in Indianapolis is known to be pretty good, and there's a chance that the Chicago outlet is still just finding its footing. But for a review this bad? The footing must be pretty off the mark of found — not something we're inclined to generously forgive, considering Yats has four other storefronts in their mini-empire, and should know what they're doing by now.

Nagrant does note that the joint is BYO, so if you do visit, and it is this unpleasant, at least you can drown your sorrows in a brown paper bag. Small blessings, we suppose.

Yats All Folks [NewCity Chicago]
Yats The Ticket [MenuPages Chicago]
Yats [Official Site]

It's nice when an organization blows off its embarrassing stereotype. You know who could use a little of that jelly? People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. They don't like fur and they don't like meat and they have this reputation for being the kind of people that will get offended by just about anything that once had a face and now does not. Who wants those people around?

But this nice little story about a recent PETA campaign against cockroach eating at Six Flags amusement parks sounds so polite and good-hearted, it definitely deserves some coverage. Granted, we got the story from the PETA website, and Six Flags wasn't available to corroborate it this morning, but it seems reliable enough, and so polite:

After receiving a letter and several e-mails from PETA, the company has decided not to repeat last year's live-cockroach-eating challenge as part of its Halloween "Fright Fest." PETA explained that encouraging teens and others to cause pain and death to even the smallest life form as part of a promotion can desensitize them to suffering in general.

"We're on to other Fright Fest events that do not include any living creatures!" wrote Six Flags Public Relations Manager Sue Carpenter...

To show its thanks, PETA has sent Carpenter a box of vegan chocolate roaches.

Six Flags Scraps 'Fright Fest' Live-Cockroach-Eating Challenge After PETA Plea [PETA]

[Photo: via University of California at Davis, Department of Entomology]

Still, not all chef's tables are highfalutin, wallet-busting extravagances. The Chicago Pizza Club recently sat some of its members at the chef's table at La Madia, where for a measly $25 (that's, like, half our cable bill!) they were treated to:

• Locally grown cantelope melon and prosciutto di Parma, served with Pisoni, Lucy, Rosé of Pinot Noir '07
• Toasted bruschetta of wild mushrooms & sweet onions (recipe)
• Heirloom Beet Salad, with watercress, salt-roasted almonds, & Gorgonzola, served with Cambria, Chardonnay '05
• Shaved artichoke pizza with Reggiano Parmesan & garlic
• Diver Sea Scallops with fingerling potatoes & sweet corn, served with Roco, Pinot Noir '05
• Triple pepperoni pizza
• Chocolate Tortino, served with Lindemans Framboise Lambic Ale

[Special Event] Chef's Table at La Madia [Chicago Pizza Club]
Charlie Trotter's [MenuPages]
Charlie Trotter's [Official Site]
La Madia [MenuPages]
La Madia [Official Site]

[Photo: La Madia's Shaved Artichoke, Reggiano Parmesan & Garlic Pizza, via the Flickr of perhaps Chicago's best food photographer, Zesmerelda]

• The UN begins a $214 million program to provide food in 16 "hunger hotspots" around the world. [AFP]

• Despite the many recalls, the head of the USDA says all is well. [Seattle Post-Intelligencer]

• And you thought inflation here was bad — Venezuelans are dealing with 33 percent inflation on food, and the government just raised prices again. [BBC News]

• Some backyard gardeners in Connecticut tried to donate some of their extra veggies to an organization that feeds the needy. Turns out they can't; all food must come from "approved sources" to avoid unknown health problems. Because e. coli is never found in grocery store veggies. [Newsday]

• Sudan, which has the potential to be the "breadbasket of Africa," is exporting lots of food while at the same time receiving tons of food aid from other countries. Meanwhile, those in Darfur starve. Something's wrong here. [NYT]

We love it when we get a lot of reviews from the same person. Sometimes someone will leave lots of reviews over a long period of time (shout out to Steve from Roscoe Village!), and sometimes an out-of-town visitor or someone on a review-leaving kick will hand us a half-dozen in the space of an hour. Such is the case with user alias Jersey Girl, whose Loop-centric dining calendar for her Lollapalooza weekend is (charmingly!) chronicled herewith.

Her first review, and the one that made us start to love her. Atlantic City? Win. Jersey Girl on Shaw's Crab House:

We first visited Shaw's last year and ate in the formal dining room -- it felt a bit stuffy, by the service and food were superb! This year we couldn't wait to return for another delicious meal, but we felt we weren't dressed properly (having taken a break from Lollapalooza), We went anyway and discovered the fabulous Oyster Bar with the same great food and service in a relaxed, fun atmosphere. I can't recommend the crab cakes highly enough -- sauteed, creamy, delicious Maryland style. The food and the place remind me of the places my dad took me to in the 60's -- places like Captain Starns and Dock's Oyster House in Atantic City. We went back two days later and enjoyed our meal just as much. They have good beer on tap too -- love that Anchor Steam! Can't wait to go back to Chi-town and this place! The servers are super-friendly and helpful also.

My husband wanted to go here, and I wasn't expecting much. Was I pleasantly surprised. The food was ample and delicious. My husband and I had the Prime rib sandwich which came with a choice of fries, chopped salad, soup, or fruit (as did the other lunch sandwiches). We chose the salad. My son had a barbeque bacon burger with a cup of soup. All were delish! The prime rib sandwich was lean and tasty. It came with cup of au jus for dipping. The hostess and waiters were all very friendly -- we had a great experience. Can't wait to return on our next trip to Chicago.

This place is dark, dingy, and noisy. We thought it would be fun to eat here before the game, but I am sorry we did. The waitress asked us if we wanted to pay by credit card when we ordered our beers. When she returned with the beers, she told us that their policy is to hold the customers' credit cards until they were ready to leave. We told her we wanted our credit card back immediately, and we would pay cash. I never hear of such a practicethey must have a lot of low-life people that run out on their tabs. I don't like my credit card out of my sight for any length of time and I am not a low-life. Will never return!

Up next? River North's own Carmine's:

This is the second year that we came to Chicago and had lunch here. We ate outside both times (last year along the sidewalk and this year on the side of the restaurant under the awning), and the service and food are wonderful. I especially enjoyed the chicken marsala, pasta, and chopped salad. We had an excellent red wine with our meal also. We will return next year and hope we can again have a nice day to eat outside.

And finally, unclimactically, Su Casa:

The food was good, but I felt unwelcome from the moment we asked to change our table because there was a draft blowing right on my neck. The host told me it was the same in the rest of the restaurant (not true) and let us change our table to one in the front room, but we had to go back and retrieve our menus ourselves. The waitress was nice enough, but she brought me the wrong margerita even after I pointed out of the menu exactly which one I wanted. I didn't realize the mistake even though I thought the margerita tasted funny(it had Grand Marnier in it) until she brought the bill and charged an extra $1. A good restaurant and server would have acknowledge the mistake and fixed itshe didn't. Oh well, smaller tip.

If you think back to long ago, when the only thing sweeter than a cherry Icee was an afternoon of Rampage and ski-ball, you'll probably find some memories forged in the hellish din of a Chuck E. Cheese or Showbiz Pizza Place.

While you may not have known it then, your parents were suffering; SUFFERING, for most of that time. It was not just the rubbery pie and the chaotic frenzy of children hepped up on sugar and video games that tortured them. There was also the cloying animatronic stage show that probably stood neck hairs on end and drove pupils unnaturally large with budding insanity. You didn't know, though, you were, what, 6? You probably liked that stupid furry robot band.

And you know what? You still can. Because some brilliant nut-job (actually a group of nut-jobs, it seems) has bought up a whole band's worth of the old Rock-afire Explosion animatronics and reprogrammed them to sing a bunch of not-for-kids tunes, including Usher's Love In This Club and Crash Test Dummies' Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm (worst. title. EVER, btw, but a pretty good cover).

Seems there's actually going to be a documentary about this phenomenon airing soon, so we'll think about keeping you posted. In the meantime, the Program Blue videos are great, especially Love in This Club. Check this out:

Program Blue [Official Site]
Chuck E. Cheese [Official Site]
Showbiz Pizza Place [Official Site]

All you Counter apologists and your heartfelt defenses and whatnot can go ... do something else. THIS IS WHAT WE ARE TALKING ABOUT WHEN WE TALK ABOUT CALIFORNIA BURGERS. THIS RIGHT HERE.

Update: Also! It will be owned by Kanye West! WE ARE REALLY EXCITED ABOUT THIS.

Fatburger Ready to Conquer IL [Chicagoist]
Kanye’s co. opening Fatburger in Orland Park [Chicago Business News]

[Photo: fatburger, via disneymike's Flickr]

In a comment left yesterday on last week's post about TableXchange, the online reservation scalping system that is totally aboveground and legit and not evil (so they claim), we get a missive from who we are assuming is Nick Kokonas, a partner at Alinea, nicely articulating the reasons that TableXchange is not exactly the happy & friendly element that, say, Rich Melman thinks it is. Nick says:

There are a host of problems with selling reservations for certain types of restaurants. For Alinea, the problems are 3 fold.

First, we are not able to ask the customer's preferences if they buy the reservation. With only two menu choices (12 or 24+ courses), we spend some time during the reservation getting to know the diner's preferences and finding out if there are any dietary or religious restrictions, food preferences, and letting them know which menu is right for them. If the buyer of a reservations shows up without giving that information, it is worse for our kitchen and for the customer.

Second, we reluctantly take a credit card number and explain our cancellation policy of 48 hours notice. We have instituted that because late cancellations at an 18 table restaurant have a huge negative impact on us... and there are plenty of people on the wait list who would like to dine that night. Since we don't have walk-in business or a bar, we can't rely on those for last minute diners. We don't charge people unless we cannot fill the table, but a buyer of the reservation will not know this -- in fact, the seller on TBXChange would be liable if the buyer no-shows.

Finally, we are a 2-story restaurant without an elevator and always ask if there are any mobility issues for any of the diners. That way we can ensure that we reserve a table in our first floor dining room. This is a serious ADA issue (rightfully), and a potential legal and liability issue for the restaurant.

For these reasons and others we have asked TableXchange to remove Alinea from its system. I hope they comply. If not, we will identify and call each of the reservations listed on their site and remove the seller from our books.

Alinea [MenuPages]
Alinea [Official Site]
TableXchange Comes To Chicago: Do Not Want [MenuPages]

Remember a little while ago when we got all huffy about the trend of bacon in and on everything? There was that bacon bra that Serious Eats got all gaga over, and of course there is Hats of Meat, which doesn't confine itself to bacon.

Well, all pork products aside, there is something really fun about edible clothing, probably because it's so gross, but, you know, right there, just begging for you to taste it and get body hairs stuck between your teeth. And today, Serious Eats came back on itself and showed us the tofu bra, for the vegetarians.

So we thought this would be a good time to see what other food clothes are out there, underwear and otherwise. We found a bunch of good stuff, including this cupcake dress (via Picture This):

More after the jump...

You know, there seems to be a huge market for weird brassiere ingredients, such as these chocolate numbers (via StrangeCelebrities.com):

And, naturally, a cheese bra (via la_mala1/flickr):

We had a really hard time finding any men's clothing for the snacking, be it bacon, tofu, chocolate or other. There was a bacon tie, but it was a print. We did come across this little gem, however. Yeah, it's, um, totally for real (via design2d.co.uk):

Tofu Bra [Serious Eats]
Bacon Bra [Serious Eats]
HatsofMeat.com [Official Site]

Hotel ballrooms are meant for indeterminate-varietal wines, lukewarm steam-table food, dizzying carpet patterns, bad sound systems, and views of the adjacent parking garages. The Taste of the Nation event, hosted by the children's hunger charity Share our Strength at the Trump International Hotel, lived up (or down?) to this with two notable exceptions: booze and views.

Booze: While Chicago's food scene is getting some serious national press, it's our humble opinion that it’s the mixologists who deserve the kudos. The cocktails had charmingly complex tastes, with little pretension and without highly complex formulae. Cocktail standards with simple and delicious modifications appeared to be the theme; highlights included a Sidecar with ginger-infused simple syrup (Angie Jackson, Ultimate Elixirs), a modified Manhattan with Navan vanilla liqueur replacing sweet vermouth (Tony Maffei, Jilly's Naperville), a Gin Fizz with orange oil (Martin Adamczyk, Cocktail Concierge), and a Blood and Sand with a hint of mint (Carol Donovan).

Views: For such a freaking huge building (2.6 million square feet), the Grand Ballroom is kind of tiny… and also dominated by an enormous column. I'll spare you my review of the architecture, but you can kind of get the gist if you read Kamin. The view from the 16th floor is just high enough to really experience the buildings that make up the skyline (up close and personal with the Mather Tower, for instance). I was nevertheless distracted and took photos of the view instead of the food. Oh, right… the food!

the view from the ballroom

Let's work our way up from the bottom: The arancini with blue cheese sauce from Citizen Bar was a stunning and monumental flop. A sandwich of tender beef from Capital Grille was sunk by unfortunately big and chewy rolls. Pulled pork sandwiches from Rockit Bar & Grill were just so-so and were accompanied by colorful but absolutely tasteless and pointless coleslaw. Katherine Anne Confections' coconut truffle did not change my life as I had hoped, and left me wishing I had the vanilla honey caramel instead. But then there’s the good stuff. As the owner of a "Pork: The Other White Meat" t-shirt, I was not disappointed to find that the National Pork Board was a sponsor and donor of naturally raised Eden Farms Pork to the event. Bring it on! mk served pork belly with a cold summer squash and almond soup; ajasteak surprised us with a skewer of roast pork with iceberg lettuce and an herbed ranch dressing; West Town Tavern served roast pork with stewed Michigan cherries and a white bean salad; Top Chefs Stephanie Izard and Dale Levitsky lived up to their "top" moniker with our favorite pork of the evening, a kind of pork salsa with tomato, corn and bits of kalamata olives.

It turned out not to be a pork dish that demanded our only return for a second helping. Wave, the in-house restaurant of the Lakeshore W Hotel, offered sushi-grade salmon in a salad that included two winning combinations: orange/fennel and watermelon/cilantro. The flavors were unexpected and brilliant, and planted the idea of watermelon-cilantro Italian ice (which may very well be the inspiration I need to go buy an ice cream maker).

Cheers to Share our Strength and the program beneficiaries (Greater Chicago Food Depository, Illinois Hunger Coalition, the Near North Health Service Corporation, and Vital Bridges) for doing what might actually be more important than watermelon-cilantro Italian ice: filling the tummies and powering the minds of hungry kids.

— BYRON HARRISON

Taste of the Nation - Chicago [Official Site]

[Photos via Byron Harrison]

Besides the extremely hilarious name (remember back in 2001 when putting i- or e- before anything made it super mega awesome cool, and 20 gigs of iPod cost $500?) (also did you catch how the name of the place sounds like an intimate or socially coarse statement?), what do we know?

We know this: The ice cream is made-to-order from the ground up. Going one step beyond places like ColdStone and Marble Slab, at iCream you pick your dairy (or non-dairy) base via computer touchscreen, and then start adding flavors and candy or fruit mix-ins. Then the whole thing gets plunked into a KitchenAid mixer with a hefty dose of liquid nitrogen, which freezes it up. Then you eat it.

We question this: Will it be any good? We're not quite as skeptical of iCream as we are of its hamburger equivalent, though this might be because we prefer a burger to a cone any day. But we're also a little nervous that freezing things with liquid nitrogen is not quite the same as freezing things in an ice cream machine — think about the textural difference between ice cream scooped out at a parlor, versus the brick of mint chip that's been sitting in the back of your freezer for a month.

Still, we recognize that this "will it be any good" question is kind of an irrelevant one. DIY joints tend to live or die based on the novelty of the experience as opposed to the deliciousness of the food, so while iCream prides themselves on their top-notch ingredients, people aren't going to be visiting for the hormone-free milk bases. They're going to be visiting so they can turn to their friend and say HOLY CRAP LIQUID NITROGEN!

In fact, it is entirely likely that we will be visiting in order to say HOLY CRAP LIQUID NITROGEN. And then we will make lots of puns on "iCream," and laugh like a thirteen-year-old boy, which we sometimes secretly believe we are.

Though given that we are a thirteen-year-old boy, we might actually attempt to make liquid nitrogen ice cream at home, instead. Which doesn't seem all that hard. And, um, kind of takes some of the awesome! factor away from iCream.

Well, there's always the puns.

iCream Cafe [Official Site]
Stone Cold Creamery [UrbanDaddy]
Liquid Nitrogen Ice Cream [Cooking with Chemistry]

[Photo: liquid nitrogen ice cream, via jrhampton's Flickr]

We've been racking our brains all morning to try to remember who it was that we were recently talking to when we described DailyCandy Chicago as "lobotomized." But even absent that memory, the fact remains: Really, we've been incredibly disappointed by the girly advertorial email lately (see: their back-to-back loss in Showdown at the PR Corral). We were inclined to just let today's email pass without comment (it's not about a restaurant or other food-providing operation, so it barely blips on our radar), but we'll make an exception for two reasons: (1) it's about wine; (2) 312DD calls them out today on their descent into inanity.

"I've kept quiet too long about the sudden downspiral of Daily Candy Chicago," Audarshia writes, smacking the newsletter upside the head for today's unnecessarily raunchy, entirely un-funny, vaguely-insinuating-that-its-readers-are-sluts-y missive. And we are 100% behind her — at least Thrillist and UrbanDaddy are, you know, funny and interesting and smart. DailyCandy just makes us embarrassed to belong to their demographic.

What is really going on, Daily Candy Chicago?! [312DD]
Love Is In The Pair [DailyCandy Chicago]

• Another day, another Whole Foods crisis: Fallout from recalled beef hurts the bottom line. [NYT]

• Another day, another UN food aid shipment: This one's to Georgia. [AP/IHT]

• The CSPI thinks restaurants should display their health dept. ratings in their windows. [Time]

• Holy crap, it's expensive to open a restaurant: $2.5m for an Olive Garden?! [LAT]

• The consumer food safety group LGMA has finished its audited first year with flying colors. [BusinessWire/MarketWatch]

We are basically out the door for the day (we are so hungry for dinner that we can barely contain ourself), but this just landed in our inbox and we are ... well let's just say this: when we were hired here one of the few rules we were told was "don't be too profane, don't be too sexual." And we were all "sure, yeah, we can do that!"

And then this place has to go and open on N. Milwaukee, and call themselves iCream.

So, come back tomorrow as we try really really hard to restrain ourselves! Fun for the whole family!

Stone Cold Creamery [UrbanDaddy]

[Photo: Quench, via dmmaus's Flickr]

Chef/author/former crush of a certain MP Editor who shall not be named but is not us/crazy dude Anthony Bourdain is in town today, shooting for his TV show "No Reservations."

If you would like to declare your love (or just be near one of the most awesome guys to ever wield a chef's knife), we advise you to get your skinny butts to Moto right this second, or to Matchbox and Silver Palm from 8-10pm.

Bourdain does Chicago [The Stew]
Moto [MenuPages]
Moto [Official Site]
Silver Palm [MenuPages]

A marginally scientific story on Forbes.com last week ranked the United States' 15 hardest-drinking cities. MenuPages is proud to boast two markets in the top five: San Francisco, at number three, and Chicago, at number five.

However, as glad as we are to have brought home a couple of "Lushies" (MP Chicago's imaginary award, not Forbes'), we have issues with the process by which the team at Forbes arrived at its results:

The remaining 33 cities were then ranked based on their residents' responses to three different questions on the [Center for Disease Control's 2007 Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System Survey]: whether they had at least one drink of alcohol within the past 30 days; whether men had more than two drinks per day or women one drink per day; and whether they had five or more drinks on one occasion. In each case, higher-ranking cities reported larger percentages of their population answering in the affirmative.

To determine the 15 hardest-drinking cities, we added up the rankings from each category, counting the "five or more drinks on one occasion" question twice, since it most directly addresses the question of problem drinking. We then sorted that sum into our final ranks.

Basically, according to this one set of fuzzy research, San Francisco is not as boozy as first-place winner Austin or runner-up Milwaukee, but it is more sauced than honorable mention Providence (fourth) or Chicago. Boston came in ninth after a three-way tie for eighth between Seattle, Cleveland and St. Louis. Philadelphia and South Florida didn't make the list, though Florida was represented by Jacksonville (14th) and Pennsylvania got on the board with Pittsburgh (11th).

America's Hard-Drinking Cities [Forbes.com]

[Photo: Manhattans at San Francisco's Vesuvio via bradleyjames/flickr]

2:30 pm, and our brother/Chaos Theory Cakes party correspondent IMs us:

Joseph: i take it its a bit late for that extra paragraph describing the party?
Helen: you can just tell me about it
Joseph: well
Joseph: honestly i dont have much to say..
Joseph: we must have missed the pussy pirates, i guess
Joseph: also i have no idea where they would have performed, apart from atop the counters since it was too packed
Joseph: it was mostly a late 20's crowd, very belmont-y
Joseph: aka, lots of gauge earrings and tattoos
Joseph: but we survived
Helen: ha
Joseph: seriously though, that onion cake
Joseph: i think you would probably love it
Helen: why?
Joseph: cause its so funky and good
Joseph: lilly hated it, though
Helen: so where were you with this critical info this morning?
Joseph: haha, i just woke up

Did we mention it is 2:30? People without jobs. Grr.

Party Patrol: Chaos Theory Cakes [MP:Chicago]
Chaos Theory Cakes [Official Site]

But you know, the impulse has never really struck us that along with occasionally putting his song on Summer Barbecue-themed mix CDs, we shoudl also attend his concerts, buy his kitchen appliances, read his novels, wear his shoes, and eat at his restaurants.

But apparently this impulse has struck enough people to keep that operation afloat, and apparently there are enough Parrotheads in the greater Chicago area to sustain the possible opening of a Margaritaville restaurant in Rosemont.

Is this a good thing? We asked MP:Florida editor Carolina, the only MP editor with a Margaritaville in her jurisdiction, for an official statement. She says: "Good drinks, mediocre food, fun atmosphere."

And the western suburbs wait with bated breath...

Margaritaville Restaurant In Rosemont? [Journal Online]
Margaritaville Cafe [MenuPages Florida]
Margaritaville Cafe [Official Site]

[Photo: Margaritaville at Universal Studios, Orlando, via JonF119's Flickr]

So, you want to eat better, do you? More fruits and vegetables, more whole grains, and less fat, oil, sugar, and salt, right? Well, that's going to mean discipline, and learning to appreciate and crave the flavor of a ripe apple or a bowl of museli over that pile of disco fries.

Yeah, freaking right. That's why there's science. We don't need to change our behavior through such outmoded methods as willpower and strength of character. According to the Telegraph UK (Via Coldmud,) we'll soon be able to use chemicals to do it for us:

The new research is focused on compounds called flavour modulators which, when added to food in tiny amounts, stimulate specific pathways into the brain that trigger a response normally associated with eating tasty food.

Most humans are genetically disposed to crave fattening food because, for millions of years, it was in short supply. But the current over-abundance of calorie-laden food puts current generations at risk of obesity.

But seriously, these additives are really creepy. The Telegraph compares the effort, with a straight face, to, "cruder attempts to change eating patterns by adding child-friendly flavourings such as chocolate to unpopular vegetables." Give it a second thought and imagine just how it might feel to chomp on a piece of fatty, rich broccoli. Ugh, it might be pretty darned gross.

Maybe the answer isn't to change the flavor of broccoli and friends, but to use those veggies in concert with less saintly ingredients, giving the veggies first chair; like our old pal broccoli dressed up with a shred or two of cheddar. Perhaps healthy eating is less about discipline and more about variety. And that doesn't mean the variety of flavors with which you can impregnate leafy greens. We'll say it again: Gross.

Healthier eating tastes better thanks to a clever trick [Telegraph UK]

[Photo: Romanescue broccoli via Moria/flickr]

Catching up on our weekend reading — how did we miss this one? Chef Martial Noguier of one sixtyblue has given notice and is going to take the helm at Cafe Des Architectes starting October 1. Why? Because (among other reasons) "it’s perfect for me to do what I want to do, which is real, simple French food made with local ingredients. No one is doing that."

Is this a wise decision? One Sixtyblue was one of the major players of the restaurant revolution of the late 90s that turned Chicago from a culinary also-ran into one of the hottest players on the national (and international) food scene. Meanwhils, Cafe des Architectes is, um, in the Sofitel? Well, here's hoping Noguier has better luck there than some other hotel restaurants have been having.

*get it? like musical chairs, but with food!

Chef Martial Noguier to leave one sixtyblue [TOC]
one sixtyblue [MenuPages]
one sixtyblue [Official Site]
Cafe Des Architectes [MenuPages]

We really wanted to go to the grand opening party for Chaos Theory Cakes ( 2931 N. Lincoln Ave, 773 2812353), the little sister big brother sibling to Michelle and Valentine Garcia's awesome & organic Bleeding Heart Bakery. But, sadness & weeping, we weren't in town. So, speaking of siblings, we sent the next best thing to us: our young, hip brother and sister, and a digital camera. Their thoughts (and photos) on onion cake, among other things (amazingly they managed to refrain from commenting on the Pussy Pirates, the band that provided live entertainment):

At first, one would be baffled by the idea that vegetables can mix well with such a non-Eat-it-or-go-to-bed-still-hungry type of food, like, say, cake.

But the quick-witted among you would jump up and shout, "Carrot cake, you ignoramus!" Carrot cake indeed, participating reader. But once we start down this long, winding path of rooted foodstuffs, where do we draw the line?

The bakers at the newly opened Chaos Theory Cakes on Lincoln Avenue put their fingers in their ears and sing loudly at the mention of such a division. (Well, what do you expect when you run out of ingredients like heavy whipping cream and non-"globally consciously picked" cocoa?) They specialize in vegan and all-organic foodstuffs with creative flavor combos, like the staple Carrot Cake with pineapple slices, which is fairly straightforward and delicious. And then there are more adventurous cakes, like our personal favorite the spicy Avocado Cake (okay, it's not a vegetable, but darn close enough). It didn't give you your usual dessert tastes, what with its whole black peppercorns and balsamic vinaigrette ganache, and yet it still managed to taste amazing.

Just as we were stuffing ourselves with meringues of all flavors, we were handed the Onion Cake. Indeed, cake — c-a-k-e — a dacquoise of spinach, slices of onion and green apple, all topped with onion mousse. It sort of tasted like a compressed meal from a Bar Mitzvah luncheon, but in a good way...I guess I just have fond memories of spinach and onion-based meals. Others, sadly, may not find such memories as sweet. Then again, who says dessert can't be sour or tear-inducing?

That's the question owners Michelle and Valentine Garcia are trying to answer with the opening of this new bakery. (The husband and wife duo are also owners of the similarly organic and hip Bleeding Heart Organic Bakery, which is known for its scones and scrumptious blueberry-lemon cupcakes.) Michelle describes Chaos as the "adult" version of Bleeding Heart – they added even more complex, inventive flavors, as well as higher-priced fancy tarts, macaroons, and cakes. Of course, if you just want a blueberry cupcake, they're sorta hidden in the back, but they're still there. And still quite scrumptious.

– JOSEPH ROSNER and LILLY ROSNER

Bleeding Heart Bakery [MenuPages]
Bleeding Heart Bakery [Official Site]
Chaos Theory Cakes [Official Site]

[All photos via our brother]

Besides the immediate annoyance of less cash in our pocket, one of the side effect of July's 1% sales tax increase in Cook County (plus an additional percent-and-a-half if the transaction takes place within the McPier boundaries) might be fewer new restaurants, period. The Sun-Times reports that out of the 8 new Flat Top Grills slated to open in the next year and a half, only one is in Downtown Chicago, and that's only because "the location's assets offset the negatives: It is expected to attract a built-in lunch crowd of office workers, and it's close to Millennium Park, new condo buildings and the college students who live in downtown dorms."

We are all for public health initiatives — the governmental programs that our additional tax rate is supposed to benefit — but hello: basic math tells us that if a 1% increase in price leads to a greater than 1% loss of business — let alone business actually shying away from opening at all! — this is putting less money in the state's and city's coffers than was the original rate.

Beating the tax bite [Sun-Times]
Location is key for restaurants to survive [Sun-Times]
Flat Top Grill [MenuPages]
Flat Top Grill [Official Site]

• With the ranks of food snobs swelling, is ice snob-ism the next frontier? Judging by the existence of gourmet ice, perhaps! [New York Times]

• Oh noes! First the spinach, then the tomatoes, and now ground beef! Yet another recall, yet another weekend spent wondering if anything is safe to eat. [Washington Post]

• China is mad into wine these days, but one billion new oenophiles is way more than current production can handle. Fun fact though: turns out there are lots of vineyards in China! [Slate]

• That warehouse club might not be saving you as much money as you think. [ABC News]

• L.A. could be the next city to require restaurants to post calorie counts. Is this going to be the new smoking ban? [LA Times]

Can it be done? Since we are not, currently, in West Virginia (and also we do not, currently, have a death wish), we turn our powers of deduction to the matter.

Let's start in the obvious place: Champion gurgitator Joey Chestnut won the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest on July 4 this year by eating 59 hot dogs in 10 minutes. That'd be an average of 5.9 a minute, right? But we were a little suspicious — that's like saying someone who does a 5-hour marathon is running 11.5-minute miles, whereas in reality the miles are much faster at first, and take longer as the race goes on. So we sat down in front of a YouTube video of this past July's contest, planning to count Joey's consumption over the first four minutes.

That failed. So instead, we turn to Gothamist's liveblog of the eat-off, and with some counting-backwards skills have decided that Joey Chestnut can eat at least 32 hot dogs in 4 minutes.

But what is that in terms of weight? Nathan's hot dogs are sold in grocery stores in 12-ounce packs of 6, weighing in at 2 ounces per dog. And we'll assume that Nathan's buns are more or less equivalent to white Wonder buns, which at 43 grams per bun convert to just about 1.5 ounces per bun. 2 ounces for the dog plus 1.5 ounces for the bun means that a full hot dog, Nathan's contest-style, weighs 3.5 ounces.

And how many 3.5-ounce dog-and-bun combos do you need to get up to 4 pounds? Just about 18.285 hot dogs — half what Joey Chestnut packed down.

So is eating the homewrecker dog in 4 minutes doable? Totally. Is it advisable? Not so much.

Gigantic horrifying hotdog -- 3.5lbs -- is free if you eat it in 4 minutes [BoingBoing]
The Mother of All Hot Dogs--HillBilly's Homewrecker [Al Dente]

[Photo of the homewrecker via Al Dente]

Oh, print media. You're so old and slow-moving and adorable. You have things like editors and style guides and you do things like interview relevant parties and don't just post random stuff online whenever you feel like it. It is JUST SO CUTE.

No really. At the risk of getting all Heather vs. Audarshia, we would like to smugly point out that we scooped the Tribune with our coverage of TableXchange.

Of course, we wholesale janked it from UrbanDaddy (with, you know, a credit at the end of the post). So props due to them, really. But confidential to Monica Eng and Chris Borelli: Where were you on Monday when this was breaking?

Update: We have actually, you know, read the article now. And it closes on this terrific quote from noted anti-capitalist and pro-authentic-restaurant-experience-ist Rich Melman:

Chicago restaurant king Rich Melman initially thought, "I'd rather they go directly to us than get their reservations through scalpers." But when he considered the site from a consumer's point of view he revised. "Let's say I go to New York and forgot to book a reservation at Jean Georges in advance," Melman said. "I wouldn't mind paying $25 to get in. I guess we'll have to wait and see on this one."

Your table is ready— for a price [Tribune]
Your Table Is Ready [UrbanDaddy]
TableXchange Comes To Chicago: Do Not Want [MenuPages]

Apparently there is some sporting event getting underway over in China that is so popular, NBC is covering it.

But before the Olympic athletes can get started with their sweating and huffing, there must first be a whole mess of pomp and circumstance. You'll probably watch the opening ceremony tonight, or else you'll Tivo it and keep it in your DVR forever because you are an uncultured boor if you erase it.

In addition to the big public ceremony, of course, there's one hell of a party for the heads of state. Unlike the recent G8 conference (perhaps because of it?) the menu for China's kickoff banquet hasn't made the rounds of the internet yet, but Xinhua News has the summary (all spellings [sic]):

The "royal lantern" assorted cold dishes, including crystal shrimp, beancurd sheet fish rolls, goose liver pate, leafmustard boiled with oil, and a thousand-layer beancurd cake, were served on a traditional Chinese royal lantern-shaped plate.

Specially-designed "Bird's Nest" seasonal vegetables have been served due to the special moment of Olympics, and the steak on lotus leaf and cod in soy sauce have combined Chinese and Western characteristics together.

Also on the banquet menu was the matsutake soup in "melon cup".

The guests were also served with a refreshment and fruit icecream.

Chinese-style food served to dignitaries for Beijing Olympics [Xinghua]
Athletes Fear Chinese Food Will Spoil Olympic Run [ABC News]

[Photo: topgold/flickr]

We were just looking at this week's specials at West Town Tavern, and dude:

STARTER
Slow-Smoked Lamb Riblets with Molasses-Mustard Barbecue Sauce and Sherry-Garlic Slaw $11.00

SALAD
Shaved Summer Squash and Carr Valley Bandaged Billy Goat’s Milk Cheese with Toasted Almonds, Parsley, Lemon and Olive Oil $7.25

MAINS
Braised Berkshire Pork Cheeks with Sweet Corn Spoonbread, Roasted Beets and Bourbon $22.75

Pan-Seared Alaskan Keta Salmon with Baby Spinach, Feta Cheese, Olives, New Potatoes, Cherry Tomatoes and Lemon-Dill Vinaigrette $25.50

DESSERT
Michigan Nectarine and Blackberry Crisp with Hazelnut Crunch Ice Cream $6.95

Weekly Specials: August 8 - August 14 [West Town Tavern]
West Town Tavern [MenuPages]
West Town Tavern [Official Site]

• The failing article in question is a review of Oak Park's Trattoria 225 (225 Harrison Street, 708 358 8555), a slightly upscale family Italian joint that's got a wood oven for pizza and a tendency to grill things (not necessarily a bad thing!). It gets a pretty even-handed treatment: some dishes are meh, some are really good (the grilled romaine in the caesar salad gets noted as a neato touch). He declares the wood-fired pizzas "more East Coast-style than Midwest," but points out that unlike the fresh clams used by the masters of the white clam pizza, Frank Pepe's Pizzeria Napoletana in New Haven, CT, the owners of Trattoria 225 go for the canned kind. Ultimately, though, Bruno's review makes it out to be pretty boring: Worth it if you live nearby, but not nearly exciting or innovative enough to merit a trek from another neighborhood. [Bruno, Sun-Times]

• Speaking of suburban Italian fare, Thomas Witom treks out to Hodgkins in order to visit Salerno-Pincente Ristorante (9301 W 63rd St, 708 354 0099) (fun fact! Google maps places this in Countryside!), which shares its space with "Chicago's newest off-track betting (OTB) operation," the bar Trackside. Witom finds the restaurant to be a solid operation, the pasta-heavy menu resolves into giant portions with minimal fanfare. Atmosphere is lacking, and service could be more polished. But hey, you're probably there for the horses. [Witom, Sun-Times]

This week the Reader is making up for lost time with a threefer: their reviewers visit new hotel-based restaurants C-House (at the Affinia), Perennial (at the Park View Hotel), and ajasteak (at the Dana, and we have just discovered that their website is basically seizure-inducing). Let's break it down:

• Prominently positioned in "one of the most boring restaurant neighborhoods in the city," Perennial seems to still be finding its footing. Mike Sula has nice things to say about dishes like Roman-style semolina-beet gnocchi, lamb with eggplant chutney, and a "devastating" (in the good way) watermelon-tomato-olive-oil. But these raves are preceded by some serious criticisms: peekytoe crab and avocado salad that's "in the running for one of the worst things I’ve eaten all year," and canneloni that "was a textural nightmare of overmanipulated manky meatstuff." Eww. [Sula, Reader]

• The review for C-House begins with the usual rundown of Marcus Samuelsson, but OSBMS refrains from calling him a chef, or an executive chef, or even a person. Instead, he's a media package, meant in presumably the least flattering sense of the phrase, and Sula's affront at the chef situation underscores the rest of the review. The food? As in other reviews, the land-based offerings score better than those from the sea — unfortunate, considering that seafood is the focus here. Sula's theory? Samuelsson "thinks we landlocked rubes don’t know from good fish. Then again, with a built-in customer base of tourists and travelers, maybe he isn’t thinking about us at all." Ouch! [Sula, Reader]

• Anne Spiselman heads to ajasteak, and finds a convenient workaround for those who are in the mood for Kobe, but don't want to pay $18 an ounce for it: get the yakitori appetizer, request it rare and unseasoned, and you'll find yourself hauling 2-3 ounces for $18 a serving, instead. She finds the restaurant's sushi delicious, if expensive, and the service and wine list are both well-executed. The non-steak entrees don't fare as well, with poorly balanced sweet-and-salty flavors and misleading menu descriptions. Plus the atmosphere felt like sitting "in a corridor" — next time, she'll sit at the sushi bar. [Spiselman, Reader]

[Photo: We couldn't find pictures on Flickr of any of these restaurants, so instead here's a photo of some puppies! Via gervo1865_2's Flickr]

• Nothing hits the spot on a muggy August night like a good margarita. [MP: Boston]

• Fresh or frozen, fish is the best. [MP: Chicago]

• It's the most wonderful time of the year for farms. [MP: Philadelphia]

• Are you counting calories and pennies? A farmers market could be your new best friend. [MP: San Francisco]

• Limoncello popsicle martinis? YES. [MP: South Florida]

If you're up for a little bit less of a glossy Chinese food experience, here are our picks for the top 8 Chinese restaurants at which to get your 8-8-08 fix (though good luck getting a table):

• Moon Palace Restaurant is where we went as a small tiny little child with our parents. Climbing the narrow stairs to a room lined with fish tanks and where drinks came with umbrellas was just about heaven. It's changed quite a bit over the years, but the Shanghainese food is still more or less flawless. Try the xiao ling bao to start, and whatever the daily special happens to be.

• The original Three Happiness is classic for dim sum or, outside of weekend mornings, what one of our friends likes to call "jank dim sum": ordering like seven dumpling dishes off the regular menu, and making a meal of it.

• If you'd rather be eating in the comfort of your own living room, we can't recommend China Hut highly enough. The ginger beef just might change your life. And, trust us on this, the spicy salt smelt.

• Joy Yee's Noodle Shop — the original one — is located in the kind of eh-looking Chinatown Mall. BUT. Oh man, those noodles. Winter was invented so that we would have perfect context for consuming a bowl of Rare Beef & Beef Tripe Noodle Soup. Also stellar: Chap Chae made with eel. Also more appropriate for August : the vast selection of smoothies and milk teas.

• For a little bit more of a swanky experience, may we suggest you take your lady love (or your gentleman friend) to Opera? Total swish. Hold off until Sunday if you're watching your wallet: the $25 prix fixe knocks it out of the park.

• The dim-sum-only Happy Chef Dim Sum House is another great find, and it's thrillingly inexpensive. You can get roll-yourself-home full for under a tenner, if you play it right.

• The mini-chain BBQ King House has three locations in Chinatown. Ridiculously bright flavors, top-notch ingredients, and expert barbecued meats (try the duck, the crispy baby pig, or the chicken liver) await you, as well as an extensive menu of authentic Chinese food: squid with bitter melon, lo hon vegetables, and abalone congee (swoon!), among others.

• And finally, the famous Sun Wah Bar-B-Q. You basically can't go wrong with anything here (though we've yet to build up the nerve to order the congee with pork stomach, kidney, and intestine), but we would do unspeakable things for the stir-fried pea pod green (pea shoots), the watercress and fish ball soup, and a quarter of a roast duck. Unspeakable things.

[Photo: Barbecued meats at Sun Wah, via mjkmjk's Flickr]

• A Chicago cop is suspended after allegedly demanding a free coffee from Starbucks. [Chicago Tribune]

• Today's a lucky day for the Chinese. You'll need luck getting a reservation in a restaurant, church, event hall, or any other place that might have to do with a wedding [Xinhua]

• Could it be possible that those calorie counts popping up on chain restaurant menus are more complicated than they seem? [Los Angeles Times]

• As the 2008 Olympics kick off, a look at a different kind of "sport:" Competitive eating. [LA Times]

• Lunch has a new hero in actor Michael Douglas (natch). [Times Online]

We finally gave in to the massive hype surrounding Mad Men and watched all of season one over the course of last weekend. Although we were stubborn to the end, it turns out that everything we'd read about it is true. The acting is superlative, the sets, costumes, and historical references completely impeccable, and the whole tone of the show really captures the tense, feverish excitement of the advertising industry in 1960.

What we weren't expecting, but were totally taken with, was the incredible attention to food and dining in 1960. Once it hit us that food comes up constantly on the show, we started scribbling down notes about everything they put in their mouths. (Dirty! But true.) After the jump, the Mad Men diet.

Scene after scene on Mad Men takes place in restaurants that can only be described as swanky. The softly glowing lights, unobtrusive classical music, and understated decor of the dining rooms would fit right in with most nice restaurants these days. But, oh, the food!

From our notes, and with some help from the Television Without Pity forum on Mad Men, it seems that when people weren't drinking heavily, they were eating lots of oysters Rockefeller and caesar salads. Other items on the Mad Men menu?

For drinks (easily one of the main food groups): whiskey, scotch, Manhattans, Rob Roys, vodka gimlets, and martinis. The employees of Sterling Cooper truly own the idea of a liquid lunch, and that's not even considering all of the bracing swigs knocked back behind closed office doors.

Home-cooking on the show is standard 1950s fare: celery with cream cheese, many a pot roast, a ham generously cloaked in a layer of pineapple, Waldorf salad, and a parade of casseroles all make appearances. Some of the dishes are probably best left to history, but many left us with a powerful desire to revive retro canapes. All in all, very Joy of Cooking!

Finally, if you were dining in New York's finest restaurants of 1960, you might have expected to see the following on the menu: goulash, beef wellington and other foods wrapped in dough or puff pastry, caviar, shrimp cocktail, rumaki, and classic desserts like baked Alaskas. We bet it all tasted pretty good, but didn't they ever get bored?

Aside from making us want the cocktails/not want most of the food, watching has made us wonder: how outdated will our food seem fifty years from now?

[Photo: authorwannabe/flickr]

We're going to use this space to wish the happiest of happy birthdays to our beautiful and talented mother, who turns a youthful 29 today (she had us when she was ...3?). Word on the street is she'll be having her birthday dinner tonight at Park 52, so I highly advise you all to go there and extend your birthday greetings to whichever woman in the restaurant is the one you think is most likely to have birthed me. Also, try the lamb chop!

Park 52 [MenuPages]
Park 52 [Official Site]

Perhaps the most telling sign about C-House is that a Flickr search for photos turns up zero results. Not a one.

Compare that to the two other recently-opened hotspots: 119 for L.2O (not including Laurent Gras' personal Flickr) and 191 for graham elliot. We're just sayin'.

C-House [MenuPages]
C-House [Official Site]
L.2O [MenuPages]
L.2O [Official Site]
graham elliot [MenuPages]
graham elliot [Official Site]

We were just having a really lovely chat with the other MenuPages editors, musing on various things like whether we should continue the stylistic tic of saying "we," and why it is that DailyCandy uses the phrase "fat pants" so much (hilarious! yet vapid). We were sort of complaining about tabbing over to this screen in order to do today's roundup, because Phil Vettel is talking about graham elliot, and that is so three weeks ago, and what the hell. But then we realized two things: First, we were complaining opining the other day about how some reviewers who will go unnamed have this unfortunate habit of basing their entire review on one, maybe two meals at a place, generally within just a few weeks of the restaurant's opening. And here's Phil Vettel, giving Chef Bowles a full 12 weeks' grace period to work out the kinks, and so rather than being cranky and vitriolic we really ought to be applauding him.

The second thing was that the promise of being cranky and vitriolic is a really excellent catalyst for us getting off our butts and actually writing the post. On with the show!

• Hey guess what! Phil Vettel reviewed graham elliot! While previous reviews from TOC and the S-T have accused Bowles of having ideas bigger than his kitchen, sloppily repurposing lowbrow ingredients in pursuit of an ironic highbrow nirvana, Vettel seems charmed by everything he puts in his mouth: Bowles is "a culinary Warhol, turning mass-production items into foodie icons." This diametric opposite to the previous consensus could be due to Vettel's delayed review, since in the past few weeks the restaurant has abandoned the handwritten menus, worked to lower the noise level, and made numerous other little tweaks &mdash no doubt including to the menu. Still, there's continued dissonance between the vibe and the price points, all in all resulting in a two-star review. [Vettel, Tribune]

• Valentine's Day isn't for another 190 days (not that we're counting), but Monica Eng makes the bold assertion that sweltery summer is a better time for lovin' than is frigid winter. There's certainly some sense to that claim, and in its service she rounds up six aphrodisiac meals from all over. They range from the literal (the traditional Jamaican soup called Mannish Water at Good To Go, which contains goat scrotum &mdash sexy!) to the unexpected (mustard fried catfish from BJ's Market, because "mustard is believed to stimulate the sexual glands and increase desire") to the fun-fact-filled (did you know! The Aztecs referred to the avocado tree as the "testicle tree"!). All in all this might be the most fun article ever published in the Chicago Tribune, ever. [Eng, Tribune]

• Like Vettel, Heather Shouse over at Time Out is also covering pre-Bruno'd ground, weighing in on carpetbagger-celeb-chef Marcus Samuelsson's C-House. She's less than overwhelmed by what is essentially a straightforward high-price-point seafood joint, pointing out that "in a town that Laurent Gras (another transplant but one who’s obsessively present) is currently owning when it comes to that market, you better go big or you better go home." Emphasis, for the record, theirs. She is, to her credit, forgiving of Samuelsson's general absence from the kitchen — his role here was never supposed to be that of an on-the-line chef — but even with that handicap the restaurant simply underwhelms. Except the desserts, a surprisingly delicious and innovative end to an otherwise blah and overpriced meal. Three out of six stars, which sounds about right. [Shouse, TOC]

[Photo: an avocado tree (yeah, we totally see where the Aztecs were coming from), via