It is with great delight that we welcome back to the internet (and to our Google Reader) The Chicago Burger Project, which after a completely unacceptable month-long hiatus is back with a review of Max's Italian Beef. The title menu item is not on the docket, instead we have Max's Ghetto fries, an item we could not believe is actually on the official MenuPages menu, and yet there it is, in all its glory (it's the fifth-to-the-bottom item on the onscreen menu, right between a $0.59 side of American Cheese, and an $0.89 side of Merkt's).

These things get way too much attention for being standard-issue fries with a bunch of cheap condiments on top (to be fair, they'll only cost you $3.15). They're allegedly named for a former employee who went by "Ghetto Girl" and are decidedly not an attempt tap into the always-profitable stereotype of poor people putting Merkt's on everything (cf. Hecky's Mutt; Ghetto Latte). Anyway, these are exactly the sum of their parts---I'm a little mystified by a place hanging their hat on a dish so easily replicated by anyone with access to a Fixins Bar, but they've been around for 50 years, I think the sweetness of the sauce, the sharpness of the cheese, and the saltiness of the fries are supposed to play off each other, but they didn't do that so much as just kind of decompose into a homogeneous mass.

Max's Italian Beef [Chicago Burger Project]
Coffee Shop Threatens to Punch Customer In His Dick [The Consumerist]
Max's Italian Beef [MenuPages]

[Photo: Max's Ghetto Fries, via Chicago Burger Project]

Yes, it is prime dinner-eating time on a Friday night, and yes, we should be out gallivanting and living it up and generally inhabiting the world, but this is big: yesterday we asked WTF was up with that giant egg in front of the McD's by Wrigley Field, and today - via The Arab Aquarius - we have an answer:

The giant egg billboard starts cracking and opening up in the wee hours of morning. By breakfast time, the egg has already hatched, and you can see "Fresh Eggs Daily" written on the egg's yolk.

The egg stays open from 6:00AM till 10:30AM, to indicate the availability of fresh eggs during that time. Once the breakfast time is finished, the egg billboard shuts and stays closed as a whole egg till the next morning.

Hatching Billboards: McD's Giant Egg [The Arab Aquarius]

[Photo of the egg via The Arab Aquarius]

There is a giant egg -- like, really giant -- perched atop a metal pole in the parking lot of the McDonald's at Clark and Addison. The prevailing theory: it is to promote their breakfast sandwiches. Our theory: Brainbomb from outer space. Your theory: ?

Giant Egg at Mcdonalds accross from Wrigley field [LTHForum]

• A gentle reminder from Monica Eng that you should be calculating your server's tip based on the pretax total, not the bottom line. Especially now that Cook County tax hikes are raising restaurant bills across the bar - restaurant patrons will be seeing a total of 10.75% appended to the total (10.5% sales tax, plus 0.25% restaurant meal tax). Cue commenter backlash... now! [Tribune]

• Barbecue aficionados Barry Sorkin (of Smoque BBQ), Robert Adams Jr. (of Honey 1 BBQ), and LTH Forum grand master Gary Wiviott weigh in on a blind tasting of local barbecue sauces. The winner? The house sauce from Robinson's #1 Ribs rose above its damning faint praise to best Hecky's, Sweet Baby Ray's, and others. [TOC]

As for reviews...

• Phil Vettel wanders down LSD in order to two-star Park 52, the most recent attempt to restaurantify Hyde Park, and finds it eerily reminiscent of owner Jerry Kleiner's earlier (and similarly-named) venture, Room 21. On the whole, though, the food is solid - if uninventive - and the scene is a welcome addition to Hyde Park's more or less desolate upscale-dining landscape. [Vettel, Tribune]

• Highest possible praise - four forks - to Galapagos Cafe and its winning synchronicity of Ecuadorean and Japanese cooking. The flan, apparently, is swoonworthy, and we found ourselves drooling over Monica Eng's descriptions of the sushi rolls and milkshakes. [Eng, Tribune]

• TOC drops the first official review of much-buzzed graham elliot, and finds that the servers -- and menu -- are still in need of a little refinement. Heather Shouse gives it a four of six stars: she isn't amused by the seemingly random deployment of kitsch-chic garnishes like cheez-its, malted milk balls, and nilla wafers on dishes that otherwise hold their own, but sees promise lurking beneath the surface, plus occasional flashes of brilliance. Still, the laid-back atmosphere (servers wear Graham-approved chucks and jeans) clashes with the birthday-dinner price point. [Shouse, TOC]

[Photo: seared tuna and roasted whitefish at Park 52, via Kids' Writer's Flickr]

Usually when reviewers declare a restaurant or a dish to be "the best" in Chicago or the world or in the history of space and time, they are talking out of their asses. Anyone with the breadth of experience to be able to credibly make such a claim would never have the audacity to actually do so. And if they did, it would be with qualifying remarks that show some self-awareness of the subjectivity of the opinion. For better or worse, none of these strictures apply to MenuPages reviewers! So, then, here are some of the "bests" of the past week:

• On June 26th, "Christi" claimed that Aroy Thai has the "Best Thai food ever":

I'm a picky eater and definitely a Thai food snob, and this place is fantastic! Now, if only they would expand their space to accommodate me and my friends and family, then I would be the happiest customer.

• On the same day, "Chuck Debbie Glen Alexis and Danielle" had a conference and decided that Zen Noodles is the "Best of the best in Chi-town Panasian":

Parking was not too bad and the food was simply the best We've ever had. We did it "Family Style" and got to try several different things in one shot. We had one vegan in the bunch and she was floored by the "Tofu Saute', especially the peanut sauce. The rest of us had different favorites of the four dishes we shared. The Green Curry Chicken was voted in at #1, a blend of green curry coconut sauce with Thai Basil leaves, veggies and chicken. A close second was the "Rama Chicken", a plate of cooked broccoli and chicken covered by a peanut sauce that is "out of this world good"(sounds simple but what's wrong with that). Surprisingly in at third was my original favorite, when it was Hi Riki's(sp?), "Basil Chicken". which is a dish flavored by what has become one of my favorite spices, Thai Basil. In at #4 was "Garlic Shrimp" which is a spicy blend of a garlic sauce covering perfectly sauteed shimp and other good things( can't remember). We were in Chicago for a week and I have to say that Chicago does live up to its reputation as one of the best restaurant cities in America. That's what should make our endorsement of "Zen Noodles" even more exciting for lovers of PanAsian food. Can't wait get back Chicago and Zen Noodles. Oh yeah, the serving sizes were fairly generous and the price was what you'd expect to pay in any city in the country.

• On June 27th, "Kenneth & Isik" judged Cousin's to have "The Best Lehmacun in North America":

My wife and I live in Minnesota. We drive 6 plus hours just to eat Demir Bey's lehmacun and pide. It is truly the best you will find in the USA. We been to several different restaurants that provides Turkish cuisine, but have never found anything that compares to Demir's. However, the most important of all he always make time to greet and have a chat with us.

• Also on the 27th, "bklyn" wrote a short review for Arturo's Tacos entitled "Great":

The Shrimp soup and Chorizo Tacos here are the best!!!! The price is right too.

• Finally, on the 30th, "Pat P." unilaterally declared the "BEST DONUTS EVER" to be from Old Fashioned Donuts:

I have been eating these donuts since 1973, and I have not tasted anything near these great tasting donuts. If you have not tried them you should . Not only do they have good donuts, they also have good food. The polishes and fries are to die for. Now that I live out of town, I only get them when I visit the city.

[Photo: Arturo's Tacos al pastor, via Fancy Toast (who calls them the best in Chicago, for what it's worth)]

• One of Chicago's more successful Peruvian restaurants, Ay Ay Picante impressed Bridget & Tammy enough to earn a 17/20 [Chicago Bites]

• Most of the restaurants participating in Kid's Restaurant Week excreted out the same mac and cheese that parents spend the rest of the year avoiding, but Coco Pazzo Cafe put some effort into it and made real adult dishes tweaked toward younger palates [Drive-Thru]

• For fried chicken without the leaden aftereffects, try Crisp's light and crispy Korean preparation [Chicagoist]

• It's a shame that Drake Bros.' Bookbinders soup is made with red snapper instead of turtle like in good old days, but it's very tasty anyway [Hungry]

• Super-healthy built-to-order salad spot Freshii is a good idea in theory, but the slow service and tasteless results make it less appealing in practice [Stew]

• Early word from graham elliot is, they're still finding their sea legs with respect to service, but you can't argue with their fat, juicy pork chops [Food Chain]

• A fabulous piece of parrotfish, among many other dishes at L.2O, succeeds at impressing...even if the dish's description was overwraught and possibly inaccurate [Food Chain]

• Pairing culinary minimalism with scratch cooking and a sophisticated sensibility about ingredients, Mado has been winning the affection of foodies and the praise of critics in the few months it's been open [Drive-Thru, Gourmet (the latter adapted from TOC)]

• While Margie's Candies may have gotten accolades in Forbes for having the best ice cream in Chicago, our local food corps has vehemently disagreed; just because a place is old and cramped doesn't mean it's great, and did you know that the science of ice cream-making has improved dramatically since the Depression? [Drive-Thru, Serious Eats Chicagoist]

• The vanilla-on-vanilla cupcake at Swirlz Cupcakes disappoints, but specialty flavors like Key Lime make a trip worthwhile [Chicago Bites]

[Photo: wonder what the fortune was...via mousiekm/flickr]

Reviews galore on this, the very last Friday of our employ. Oh yes, it's true; Independence Day will take on a myriad of meanings this year. (Don't worry! We're not abandoning our post for anything less lofty than post-graduate education, with the goal of yet increasing our insufferability.)

But enough about us; Mike Sula, David Hammond, and Pat Bruno have things to say about Pho Xua, Lincoln Korean Restaurant, Taqueria La Oaxaqueña, Ecuador Restaurant, L.2O, and Veerasway, respectively. They will soldier on, sowing the seeds of restaurant knowledge in the rich soils of their Chicagoland readership, whether we're here to criticize them or not. So let's get to it.

While much of the Reader is devoted to Best Of Chicago 2008 this week, there's still an Omnivorous, containing some of Mike Sula and David Hammond's favorite cheap ethnic eats.

Sula shouts out Pho Xua as an alternative to the hegemonic Hai Yen on Argyle Street, and is down with their Chinese-influenced, house-braised pork belly. He finds unusual accessibility at Lincoln Korean Restaurant on...Lincoln, of course, although actually, only 40% of the restaurants in our database with the word "Lincoln" in the name are actually on Lincoln Avenue — the rest are in Lincoln Park. We're escaping our point, though which is that Lincoln Korean has all the authenticity of those Lawrence Avenue no-English DIY places, but with the straightforward ordering process of, say, a Korean restaurant in...Lincoln Park. Finally, Taqueria la Oaxaqueña serves the fine cuisine of Oaxaca (i.e. mole, on rabbit no less!) at truly Mexican prices.

Hammond tell us that Restaurant Ecuador in Logan Square dabbles more in the country's coastal culinary tradition than that of the interior highlands. You can get black clam ceviche there, which is really all you need to know.

Bruno has a two-fer in the Sun-Times today, slobbering all over L.2O — he has good company in this respect — but coming in fourth, doesn't bring much new information to the table. Actually, not true! He's included a glossary of fancy words on L.2O's menu that we can't say we didn't enjoy reading. However, we must take issue with Bruno's theory that L.2O has "what is probably the shortest restaurant name ever;" on the North Side alone one can find Tut, Zia and Zad, and T's puts them all to shame.

Bruno also visits upscale Indian fusion spot Veerasway, which doesn't seem to...resolve its station in life to satisfaction. Like, why is the mutter paneer $14 when it's just peas and cheese? Then again, Bruno doesn't bother telling us how it compares to budget Indian places, so we're not really sure what to make of his judgment in this case. Speaking of, possibly our final pet peeve about Bruno's reviewing style is that he never writes a conclusion to his pieces. They end with the dessert, to be sure, but there's no tying together of the various strains of opinion littered throughout the reviews; the reader needs to have a takeaway, and Bruno never provides a succinct one. This is probably due to the fact that his reviews lack a thesis, generally. Pat, we have no idea if you've ever read any of this, but all we want to do is help!

Okay, have a good weekend; next week, daily teary goodbyes...

Taqueria La Oaxaquena [MenuPages]
L.2O [MenuPages]
L.2O [Official Site]
Veerasway [MenuPages]

[Photo: grilled cactus at Taqueria la Oaxaqueña, via ohtoberich/flickr]

The very bestest time of the year is Taste of Chicago, which starts as soon as tomorrow! Phil Vettel reports that this year's Taste will be the biggest, healthiest and greenest one yet, although probably only by the smallest of margins. To help you edit your Taste menu, the Trib's dining staff put out a list of their recommendations, and published a map of the best booths according to Monica Eng's heroic sampling of all 253 dishes at last year's Taste.

All in all, a pretty light week for the Tribune. Seems like the center of gravity has shifted over to the Stew in recent months, where they report actual news like Alinea being named #1 in Zagat's latest survey. The real story here may be located in the URL of that post, which is leisureblogs.chicagotribune.com/thestew/2008/06/judy-this-is-em.html. Judy (Hevrdejs, presumably), this is em...barrassing? Empathetic? Embellished a little? Empty and hollow? Empirically untrue? Each possible permutation is more delightful than the last.

Meanwhile, the main story in Time Out Chicago is about road trips for Midwestern specialty food, which is awesome. Back in the day, we drove six hours round trip to go to the Machine Shed in Davenport for their many preparations of pork and free cottage cheese, but gas only cost $2 a gallon then. Still, if you can get a car full of people in on it, any of the suggested trips would be worthwhile.

New openings include Perennial, a Lincoln Park hotel restaurant with some big names attached, and Angels & Kings in River North, the second branch of a bar co-sponsored by Pete Wentz of all people (the first one's in New York), and not to be confused with the recently opened Wicker Park Mexican restaurant Angels & Mariachis. Or actually, please do confuse them.

Finally, David Tamarkin files a hell of a review for L.2O, the hottest new meal ticket in town. The various complicated and glorious seafood dishes are described in detail, and don't get him started on the macaroons. One does wonder what it takes to get six stars out of six, though, if L.2O only earns five!

Alinea [MenuPages]
Alinea [Official Site]
L.2O [MenuPages]
L.2O [Official Site]

[Photo: skate wing at L.2O, via npinto/flickr]

Everyone seems to be craving Middle Eastern food this week!

• Albany Park's Al-Khayameih not only serves some of the best Lebanese food in the city, they do it with flair [Chicagoist]

• A new chef and a revamping of the menu at Ben Pao doesn't take away from the fact that the BBQ pork is fabulous, and relatively authentic to boot [Chicagoist]

• While not breaking new culinary ground, Bluebird does a good job with small plates, has a wide selection of beverages and attentive service [Gastronomic Bypass]

• Very new Albany Parker Dawali Mediterranean Kitchen is still finding its desert legs, but the schwarma's pretty decent [Food Chain]

• Much-hyped Epic Burger in the South Loop has fancy ingredients, but the burger has trouble living up. Decent value, though [Food Chain]

• At the soft opening of Melman spawns' Hub 51, exactly the type of industrial hip sophisticated comfort food you'd expect. But good! [The Stew]

• Everyone loves the moles at Mixteco Grill, including Bridget & Tammy. Dessert's also recommned, and it's BYO (17/20) [Chicago Bites]

• Persian stalwart Noon O Kabab gets very high marks from Bridget & Tammy for their kabobs and other delicacies (18/20) [Chicago Bites]

[Photo: the Chicago River's very own alligator, via Sun-Times. You can eat them, you know!]

Pat Bruno has a monumentally boring review of Topaz Cafe in Burr Ridge. It's a Contemporary American with a little flare! Everything's delicious! And so forth.

But the Sun-Times' relationship with Centerstage, rarely highlighted, saves the day; Mike Nagrant has a useful feature on where tourists should actually eat as opposed where they were planning to eat. Dozens of mediocre, overpriced meals might be avoided because of this!

Meanwhile, several new reviews from the Reader. First, Anne Spiselman reviews Jack Rabbit, a new southwestern restaurant in Lincoln Square with big portions of inconsistent quality. We'd never heard of it, because that location seems to get a new restaurant every few months; Spiselman's not sure how long this one will stick around, either. But they have a website and serve brunch, so maybe there's a chance yet.

Mike Sula revisits Avenues, now that Graham Elliot Bowles is off somewhere and Curtis Duffy (formerly of Alinea) has taken the reigns. Sula points out that Bowles is a tough act to follow, but finds that Duffy is doing an admirable job of keeping Avenues avant-garde and delicious. Note that this opinion runs contrary to Heather Shouse's line, but maybe things have shaped up in the past two weeks? Both think that the restaurant is probably overpriced.

And then, the claws come out. Sula rips into ZED451, the all-you-can-meat suburbo-rama in River North. We've been a bit catty on the restaurant ourselves, and even Pat Bruno didn't like it (David Tamarkin thought it was okay). But all this pales in comparison to Sula's visceral loathing of the place, which certainly seems to fall into the substance-over-style trap. Much of the review is quotable, but perhaps this sums it up best:

This is the human counterpart to confined animal feeding operations, the industrial meat (and shit) factories that supply the sort of unexceptional product served here.

[Photo: a feedlot, via Socially Responsible Agriculture Project]

Two interesting tidbits we came across while putting some new menus online for you:

1) The mother-in-law is an ostensibly South Side (also, Mississippian) concoction involving tamales, chili and hot dog buns, and often all three. The gut-buster got some coverage recently because of the Southern Foodways Alliance's tour of Chicago in May, which was written about in the Sun-Times and Reader. One of the points made in the Sun-Times article is that mothers-in-law are all but impossible to find on the North Side:

[Chicago food historian Peter] Engler is convinced the mother-in-law is a South Side phenomenon, just like bad bad Leroy Brown.

"I made a concerted effort spending a couple of days going all over the North Side asking about mother-in-laws," said Engler, who worked in mouse genetics at the University of Chicago between 1988 and 2007. "Nobody knew. It's not on any menu."

2) The menu for La Baguette, a Mexican restaurant on 43rd and Ashland, contains several heretofore mysterious epitaphs in the tortas section. Tortas are delicious Mexican sandwiches, of course, but the category is inscruitably subtitled with "Las Guapachosas," and sub-subtitled with "Estilo D.F."

So we consulted with Carolina of MP:South Florida, who translated the latter as "in the style of Mexico City," where D.F. = Distrito Federal. While tortas are served all over Mexico, they're especially popular in Mexico City as street food. The menu lists a specific Mexico City torta called the Chilanga. It has milanesa (breaded steak), chorizo, ham and queso fresco, plus the standard beans, lettuce, tomatoes, avocado, onions and mayo; a classic torta.

The explanation for "Las Guapachosas" comes from another torta on the list, "La Guapachoza," or the Groovy Torta. This differs from the Chilanga in that it has pork shoulder instead of ham or chorizo...clearly a groovier ingredient, right? Lest we have to explain why the Russian Torta includes hot dog and pineapple!

These tortas are all $4.25, so you can't really go wrong in any case.

Clark Street Dog [MenuPages]
La Baguette [MenuPages]

[Photos: a mother-in-law from Fat Johnnie's on the South Side, via Southern Foodways Alliance; torta de chilanga from Seattle, via ascheele100/flickr]

• Chris Borrelli's rant about being asked by waiters if he'd dined at their restaurant before — as a preamble to an explanation about how the restaurant "works" — is on par with Christopher Hitchens' screed against wine pouring practices: more sensical to read as a parody of restaurant reviewers' complaints than as the real thing. Because, really, is it that annoying to be walked through a restaurant's idiosyncratic menu and service style? Certainly one could feel one's intelligence is being insulted, but that happens in myriad ways all day every day anyway. This is worth singling out? Not really.

• Meanwhile, Kids' Restaurant Week is about to start [Tribune]

What's happening in Time Out?

• Well, Mike Nagrant hunts down M.I.A. Chicago chefs from Christmas Past. Some of them live in really boring places like Jupiter, Fla., and others are gearing up to open new restaurants in Chicago. If you recognize all of the names, you get a Foodie Gold Star.

• Sometimes we wonder how the themes for the Three-Way feature are chosen. This week it's basil seeds, an obscure ingredient in the best of times. There's Find-a-Food Search and all that, but this is the sort of ingredient that doesn't stay on the menu long enough to get put into a database, if it's on the menu at all. So how to discover that L.2O uses it with fluke sashimi and Veerasway makes a cocktail with it? An abiding mystery.

As for the reviews...

• Mercat a la Planxa not only makes some of the best Spanish food in Chicago, but also offers infectiously upbeat service and a cool atmosphere (Vettel) [Tribune]

• Con Sabor Cubano serves homey Cuban fare in Albany Park, and excels at a massive Cubano sandwich. Their unique, spicy burger would go well with some BYOB (Borrelli) [Tribune]

• Little Brother's is more than an Asian fast food joint; much care is put into the Korean specialties, even if they're then put into a Styrofoam box (Tamarkin) [TOC]

• Skewerz is a healthy, doable option for post-partying lining-of-stomach in Wicker Park, even if the name is stupid and the themes are tacky. Best bet: graham-cracker-crusted sweet potato fritters (Shouse) [TOC]

[Photo: you have to order this from Mercat in advance, via fenger8/flickr]

This cheeseburger dress is the coolest thing that's ever been knitted. The artist, Joy Kampia O'Shell, has created several of these one-of-a-kind pieces, and they are the real thing (i.e., wearable). Could you imagine actually sashaying into a burger joint with this on? Let's take a stab at it:

Places Where This Dress Would Help

• Hamburger Mary's would probably let you eat and drink free for the night, or possibly even join the stage show. You'd be signing autographs left and right! Extra points here for creative stowage of your pickle

• Kuma's Corner has a notoriously long line during peak times...unless you were wearing this dress. Because you know what? Dressing as your dinner is pretty f'n metal. The waitresses would clear a berth for you at the bar, and maybe someone would even whistle appreciatively! Probably better to be a lady for this one, though — metal has its limits

Places Where This Dress Wouldn't Help

• Boston Blackies' touristic clientele might think you were a charming fixture of Chicago cosmopolitanism, and the sports fans glued to the big TV in the back might not even notice your presence. But the suburban children milling about the place will call as much attention to you as their whiny little voices and flailing limbs allow them. You may not get the best seat in the house

• Billy Goat Tavern Original at least gives you a chance at making the papers, but not in a good way

On the whole, we say, worth it.

[Photo: Joy Kampia]

This week is very foodie concept-oriented, even if it doesn't always deliver.

• Mike Nagrant rounds up Albany Park, of one of Chicago's best dining neighborhoods, where you can flit from Central American to Middle Eastern to Korean without breaking a sweat (at least in the winter) [TOC]

• We love this cocktail feature with Sepia's Peter Vestinos. This week, he's recommending a strawberry pisco sour. Once, in Lima, we had a coca pisco sour — it was very strong [TOC]

• The couple behind Mado like head-to-tail pork, Kuma's Corner, and the New Pornographers. Totally! [TOC]

• Monica Eng compiles a ranking of Chicago's chain store iced coffees. Seattle's Best wins, with Starbucks coming in second. No artisanal ice coffees are included in the piece, which is disappointing. And where's the requisite shout-out to cold-brewed ice coffee? Oh well [Tribune]

• This photo gallery of the iced coffees is strange, but archival and informative. Plus, Eng sneaks in a few artisanal iced coffees, after all. Don't let Zell hold you down! [Tribune]

• Phil Vettel gets in a lengthy post-Beard interview with Grant Achatz, and it's informative. Well, not really; we've heard a lot of this stuff from Grant before. But still, of the moment! [Tribune]

• Christopher Borrelli continues his love affair with breakfast in this mash note to oatmeal. Borrelli has uncovered a rare subspecies of the pan-seared suburban variety, and goes on to describe the "perfect summer oatmeal" [Tribune]

And the reviews:

• Phil Vettel can't get enough of Tallulah, the Lincoln Square New American bistro. He lists the dishes he likes (most of them) and doesn't (...) in a fairly straightforward manner to drive his point home [Tribune]

• David Tamarkin goes to Viaggio, formerly Jay's Amore (note to restaurants: please keep your Fax ID up-to-date! We can't tell you how many restaurants have sent us menus with the space's previous tenant on the header; Viaggio's menu will be online tomorrow), and finds a serious Italian feast in progress. We're kept in suspense for the entire review about the gravy, which turns out to be delicious and monstrous in portion [TOC]

[Photo: this oatmeal cookie ice cream sandwich is our preferred summer oatmeal treatment, via jen_m_stewart/flickr]

In this age of precocious little journobrats eating scorpions and snails and Top Chef Junior (not to mention 2007 Beard Award-winning Spatulatta), we were completely unsurprised to receive a notice about Chicago's very first Kids' Restaurant Week.

The week-long festival starts on Saturday, June 21st at the Green City Market, and it's being sponsored by Cookie (some kind of modern mother magazine) and Gourmet (some kind of food publication). That day, George Bumbaris of Prarie Grass Café, Rick Bayless of Topolobampo and, in fact, the Spatulatta Girls, will be giving cooking demos.

Blue Water Grill, Lula Cafe, Zealous , OTOM, Vie, and Uncommon Ground (among other notable restaurants) are also on board, with kid-friendly tastings and the like. It's $20.08 a person, but kids under 12 pay their age; reasonable enough. A buck from each meal goes to the Green City Market, which is a cause.

If you insist on introducing your kids to expensive restaurant dining — which, given the industry we're in, you absolutely should — better to do it in this discrete environment far away from our 8pm table. God forbid, the children might even learn something!

Kids' Restaurant Week [Official Site

[Photo: we refuse to make a baby-in-the-microwave joke, via lincolnblues/flickr]

Lots of important food news for the papers to digest today! Between the tomatoes, the Beard Awards, Top Chef and Father Day, you could write a whole book.

• What we didn't know about vanilla: it's indigenous to Mexico, and not the Indian Ocean islands where it's more famously produced [Tribune]

• At the Beard Awards, winner Grant Achatz makes the observation that doctors have no way to test one's sense of taste [Tribune]

• Stephanie Izard gives a pre-finale interview (one of many, actually), and talks about her upcoming restaurant [Tribune]

• Bill Daley picks the best wines for Father's Day &mdash key words include "big" and "bold" [Tribune]

• A very newsy article on the tomato salmonella crisis; California and Florida have been cleared of any wrongdoing [Sun-Times]

• Missy Robbins of Spiaggia pens a paean to Italian cheeses [Sun-Times]

• News about the Taste of Chicago: ticket prices are up 15%, and instead of country music, Chaka Khan will be performing (!) [Sun-Times]

And there are three life story stories that so enamor the Sun-Times:

• On Chris Favero of Frankie's Scaloppine and his pizza-making childhood [Sun-Times]

• On Finnie Haire of Haire's Gulf Shrimp, frying up his mother's shrimp recipe in Chatham [Sun-Times]

• On Tony Plum of Cinners and the oft-told tale of how he got his chili recipe [Sun-Times]

[Photo: Mexican vanilla on sale at a Oaxacan marketplace, via planeta/flickr]

As you know, our favorite reviews are not necessarily the utter raves (although that was our topic last week). It's just as good when things are middling! Here are two examples of subparity from the past week:

On June 3rd, "West Village Wanderer" panned Skewerz with a review entitled "a $2 skewer not worth .50 cents":

I wanted to like this place, but didn't.

With the exception of the Yuca fries and the beef skewer, which was tender and flavorful, the food quality was questionable. My chicken skewers looked like left over pieces from the weekend's skewers, ditto for my vegetable skewers.

Also, don't force me to have rice if I'm willing to pay the difference to get Yuca fries, and dont charge $10 min for credit card purchases.

On June 9th, "DaeLeeAkUh" wrote in about BBop, titling the observation "Not the best, but not the worst":

I've bad duk booki and bi bim pap at BeBop, and I wasn't impressed. If you've never had Korean food, you'll like it. If you know what Korean food is supposed to be like, you might be rather sad. They poured the duk booki into a frying pan out of a pre-made tub. The duk was the kind that is found in duk mondu guk rather than the finger-shaped duk usually found in duk booki there was way too much sauce, and there wasn't a hard boiled egg in it. The bi bim pap totally tasted like fast food and was tiny. The prices are high for the amount of food and lack of panchan. Street food at the Korean Street Festival or in South Korea itself is better than Bbob's fast food. Alas, I'm still glad there is a Korean restaurant in my neighborhood. It's better than nothing!

We especially like it when mediocre reviews are constructed without slander or foul language. Keep them coming!

Skewerz [MenuPages]
Skewerz [Official Site]
BBop [MenuPages]
BBop [Official Site]

[Photo: hipster preparing purportedly inauthentic Korean food at BBop (points for their mod website, though)]

• Above-ground underground tasting menu at Bonsoiree keeps 'em coming back for more, Saturday after Saturday [TastyBeat]

• Everyone who's gone to graham elliot, which has only been open a week and a half or so at this point, has raved (or at least mostly raved). We're excited to see who has the first formal review [Chicagoist]

• In the summer, it's hard to turn down one of Karyn's Raw sandwiches; they're the right temperature, the vegetables are fresh, and they'll wash down all that BBQ you've been inhaling [Chicagoist]

• What do you make of Kuma's Corner's foie gras burger that comes with a donation to MADD? Also, this reviewer thought the fries were a little overseasoned [Drive-Thru]

• The classic American bar food at Midtown Kitchen + Bar isn't very good, but it beats the service by some distance [Gastronomic Bypass]

• At Shaw's Crab House, portions are generous, flavors are solid but bold, and the service is classy [Gastronomic Bypass]

• Another whole-hearted endorsement of Take Me Out's super-spicy Asian hot wings [Chicagoist]

[Photo: Grant Achatz wins!!! via AP]

A hundred zillion new reviews hit the presses today for restaurants new and old, major and minor.

Even Pat Bruno can't muster too much excitement for uninspired All-You-Can-Meat ZED451. He chides:

But a lot of what they offered was either dry (the chicken and the pork) or not hot enough (the mahi-mahi) or rather tasteless. Zed 451 should consider putting an assortment of sauces on the table and guiding the customer accordingly.

Meanwhile, the Reader's featuring three reviews for notable mid-scale openings. Mike Sula had the same reaction to Mado that David Tamarkin did: everything is seasonal, fresh, delicious and occasionally overpriced, and it's impossible to recommend individual dishes because they'll be off the menu by publication date. Still, certainly an endorsement!

Anne Spiselman quite likes fancy new Indian restaurant Veerasway, although the appetizers and sides seem to best the entrees. David Hammond wants to make sure we realize that Mixteco Grill is not just your run-of-the-mill taco joint. Instead, pan-Mexican mole madness! Or something to that effect.

As if that wasn't enough, the Reader also published a slew of new reviews for evidently less notable restaurants like Big Jones, Park 52 and Shochu, which have been given big play in other publications. One wonders how feature-vs.-supplement decisions are made...

[Photo: salmon cucumber nage at Veerasway, via kayovv/flickr]

Today's food media roundup is extra-packed today, because Time Out Chicago has a food feature; namely, insights on cheap ethnic eats from local chefs. Let's start there and work backwards toward the Tribune, which is less sparkly.

The cuisines covered in the Cheap Eats feature are: Mexican, Chinese, Italian, Indo-Pak, Vietnamese, Middle Eastern and Korean. Some of the pieces are better than others; David Tamarkin's writeup of Rick Bayless' favorite Mexican spots and Lisa Shames' tour of Chinatown stood out for us, while Tamarkin's exploration of the food folkways on Middle Eastern Kedzie Avenue has a fascinating ethnographic quality to it.

And then, Tamarkin uncovers a strawberry/balsamic vinegar cocktail at Vermilion. Busy week!

Also, we're kind of blown away by Sepia mixologist Peter Vestinos' instruction to put honeycomb in a jar of tequila with aromatics for two weeks, and then drink the results. Yes please!

On the Tribune side, a series of discourses on outdoor dining. Like, it's unpleasant when it's next to the El! Phil Vettel presents his al fresco favorites, and Glenn Jeffers finds out under what circumstances you can smoke at a restaurant's outdoor tables (15 feet minimum from any doors or windows).

The best article in the issue is another Jeffers piece on dog-friendly outdoor licenses, of which only twenty-eight have been issued. And restaurants can only provide water for the dogs! In the age of organic, artisanal dog food, that's very limiting.

Finally, the reviews:

• Phil Vettel finds happiness at a DL New American in a strip mall on the Naperville-Aurora border called Chef Amaury, where a five course tasting is $60 and is served with a smile [Tribune]

• David Tamarkin has been following mole expert Raul Arreola all over town for years. Mixteco Grill, Arreola's latest perch, does a decent job at the staples, but truely excels with its moles [TOC]

• Now that Graham Elliot Bowles has moved on from Avenues, is former Alinea sous chef Curtis Duffy adequately carrying the mantle? According to Heather Shouse, not really. The ultramodern cuisine isn't hitting all the notes it used to, and it doesn't feel like a good value [TOC]

[Photo: nothing wrong with a dog in a restaurant, via ardorius/flickr]

Because of Memorial Day (which we spent remembering Trapped in the Closet scene by scene), here are two weeks' worth of blog reviews for your consideration

• Brunch generally a good bet at New Southern Big Jones, but make sure your beignets are freshly fried [TOC Blog]

• Despite all the promise of organic/local/seasonal ingredients at the newly-reworked Cafe at Wild Things! at the Lincoln Park Zoo, most of the food is conventionally sourced, and crappy to boot [The Stew]

• The only thing worth eating at Deta's Cafe is the burek, but it's so worth eating, wow [The Stew]

• A vegan can survive at Epic Burger on the hot, oily fries. Also, they make mushroom burgers [Drive-Thru]

• At not-too-expensive Frontera Grill, you can sample what made Rick Bayless famous without feeling like you bought the farm [Gastronomic Bypass]

• Fondue is romantic per the obvious sexual symbolism, and Geja's Cafe continues to be up to the task of providing that kind of atmosphere [Chicagoist]

• Despite being in soft opening, graham elliot churns out a flawless haute comfort experience [Chicago Foodies]

• Hard to do better than Hai Yen for casual Vietnamese south of Argyle [Gastronomic Bypass]

• Seafood temple L.2O is successfully bridging the gap between haute and molecular gastronomy (and worth the money) [Hungry]

• A largely positive assessment of chef-driven Mado recommends the antipasti and chicken dishes [Chicagoist]

• Many mixed reviews for Mundial Cocina Mestiza (although this one's positive), but the one thing they all agree on is the BYOB policy [Gastronomic Bypass]

• Another vote for the "Park 52 is fine by Hyde Park standards, so-so by Jerry Kleiner standards, and not worth the trip in either case" ticket [Food Chain]

• South Side culinary school restaurant The Parrot Cage is tasty and affordable, but the 9/20 rating from Bridget and Tammy means it won't change your life [Chicago Bites]

• Cell phone-free Perry's Deli in the Loop makes an excellent classic sandwich with turkey, ham, and the undersung Russian dressing [Chicagoist]

• New American bistro Tallulah gets 11/20 from Bridget and Tammy, but the potential for greatness is there [Chicago Bites]

[Photo: R. Kelly pretending to be ice cream in a waffle cone; "pls lik me?" via TheBestGossip]

Welcome to the giant food media roundup, where we see what's hot — and what's to trot — in Chicago right now.

• Lisa Shames reports that smart chefs are now using "food glue" in everyday dishes; it's not just for molecular gastronomists anymore [TOC]

• Bill Daley's let's-ask-top-Chicago-chefs-for-gourmet-off-beat-hot-dog-recipes idea was a pretty good one. But we have to say, Charlie Trotter's Asian seared tuna dog is not going to happen outside of a whimsical high-low restaurant [Tribune]

• Chuck Sudo dumbs himself down to Sun-Times readership level for a roundup of barbecue places that have opened in the past year. Can you imagine not knowing about these places (Smoque, Honky Tonk) the second they open, at the latest? Ah, ignorance is bliss [Sun-Times]

• Michael Tsonton of copperblue reminds you that fresh spices are just as important as fresh produce and meat and what have you [Sun-Times]

• Monica Eng knows that now is the time for frozen custards. She investigates the treat's tentative foray into the city limits [Tribune]

• Graham Elliot's eponymous new restaurant is opening imminently. Get excited! [TOC]

• Last week, we missed Mike Sula's profile on Willi Lehner, possibly Wisconsin's most famous cheesemaker at the moment. New to us: spraying dirt on cheese makes it delicious [Reader]

And the reviews:

• Both Phil Vettel and Heather Shouse go to Shochu, the Asian tapas lounge. These two reviews are a little more sober than previous ones, highlighting the restaurant's reasonable value while faulting some of the dishes for being boring. Still, it's good for the neighborhood [TOC, Trib]

• David Tamarkin is quite smitten with Mado, the new chef-driven seasonal American in Bucktown. They have an ever-changing menu that is fabulous when everything is cooked right, which is most of the time, but should something go wrong, the super-simple fare has little pomp and circumstance to fall back on [TOC]

• Denise O'Neal takes a much less critical route than Heather Shouse did when she reviewed Park 52 a few weeks back. O'Neal finds the food — mostly standard Kleiner upscale comfort — "worth the trip," while Shouse pointedly does not [Sun-Times]

[Photo: mmm...enzymes, via wurmouroboros/flickr]

The Sun-Times restaurant section is weird. This is not a new story, but it's told a different way each week. First, Bruno reviews the newest location of the Fleming's Prime Steakhouse & Wine Bar chain on Ohio Street, and finds it utterly uninteresting. Although not in so many words! While his steak seems overpriced and mediocre, Bruno still writes from the perspective of, okay, if you go, at least this and that will be alright. Where is the line between service journalism and reviewing for Bruno, exactly?

Another piece of his this week makes the distinction even less clear. His write-up of Carlos' in Highland Park begins: "The quote below is lifted word for word from the Carlos' Web site (there is no way I could say it any better)." And indeed, more than half the words on the page are from the restaurant website (excuse us, "Web site"). That's kind of crazy, when you think about it!

Finally, Bruno's microreview of The Gage is pegless (why now?) and bizarrely brief considering how much he seems to like the hopping gastropub ("But the food here is so good, it has a way of drowning out the noise.") So why does he devote so many more words to Flemings? Because it's new, yes, but you get the point.

Back in normal land (i.e. on the Reader), there are a bunch of reviews pertinent to your life. Because it's barbecue weekend! Mike Sula and Gary Wiviott highlight four of their favorites (Uncle John's BBQ, Lem's, Cole’s Choice Barbecue, and Honey 1 BBQ), and then tack on a whole mess of other BBQ reviews for reference. By the way, does anyone go to Fat Willy's anymore? We hear they've gone way downhill.

[Photo: Gary Wiviott knows what he's talking about; these are his ribs, via MMChicago]

• Attached to Ada's Famous Deli in the Loop is 14 Karat Lounge, which features the deli's full menu, and booze! [Drive-Thru]

• If you like Eastern European breadstuffs, try the khachpuri cheese bread at Argo Georgian Bakery on Devon [Drive-Thru]

• Cheap, wonderful soul food secretly available at Doggy's S.S. Soul Eatery on the West Side, if you don't mind flying under the radar [Food Chain]

• Still somewhat new Just Indulge is very obliging with its vegan ice cream cones [Drive-Thru]

• Despite the kitsch, Harry Caray's Restaurant is not a tourist trap and has good service [Gastronomic Bypass]

• River North Middle Easterner Kan Zaman does not bring it on the hummus, forcing Bridget & Tammy to assign it a 7/20 [Chicago Bites]

• So far, nothing but unbridled ardor for