312 Dining Diva has the scoop on this Thursday's "Cocktails and Conversation" event at Vermilion. Nobel laureate, infamous fatwa-carrier, ex-husband of living goddess Padma Lakshmi, and, for the record, uncanny doppelganger to the professor we TA'd for in college, Salman Rushdie will be maxin' and chillaxin' with the unwashed masses (that's us!) from 8:30-9:30 over a cash bar.

We once found ourselves alone in a lobby with Salman. It was the '07 Beard Awards -- we'd snuck out early from the mind-numbingly boring awards ceremony in order to lay siege to the Per Se table (unlimited salmon cornets!), and he'd shown up really really late. He was on the phone with Padma, irately informing her that he was standing next to a particular column and where the hell was she and why couldn't she come meet him right now not in five minutes now. It was eerily reminiscent of scenes from some of our own previous relationships, and made us feel significantly less guilty at never having been able to finish Midnight's Children.

312DD's Audarshia notes that Padma once confided to her that Vermilion was her favorite Indian restaurant in the entire country, so it might be worth showing up just on the off chance that she shows up and makes Salman start feeling twitchy and uncomfortable. Of all the gin joints... you know the rest.

Cocktails & Conversation with Salman Rushdie [312 Dining Diva]
Vermilion [MenuPages]

[Photo of Padma, as Salman looks on, at the very same Beard Awards we mentioned above, via your pal Matt's Flickr, for Gothamist.]

It's late Monday afternoon and the Taste Of Chicago is in its fourth day already! We thought we'd take a look at what's been written about it so far, and it seems like the lion's share of ink has been spilled by the Tribune, via the Stew. This is really their area.

• The Chicagoist had a preview piece this past Friday, but the content ended up getting overshadowed by commenters being mean to Chuck Sudo over a spelling error. Jeez!

• The Reader's Food Chain forgot to mention the Taste until this special Heads Up extra post from last Thursday (still in plenty enough time, though). The post reminds us about the 800 people who were sickened by Pars Cove's hummus at last year's Taste. Come to think of it, watch those tomatoes!

• Kelly the Culinarian is an enthusiastic proponent of the Taste, dispensing good advice about bringing cash (credit card lines are long), not stopping at the first ticket booth you see (the interior ones are less crowded), bringing your own water (bottles are expensive), and not buying alcoholic beverages (they're a poor value). We think you should bring two bottles of water, but the second one should actually contain vodka. No one will be the wiser!

• MrsJ2004 had a few other observations that we haven't seen elsewhere: the Budweiser Clydesdales were on display (better catch them now before the Belgians turn them into tartare), and the line for free slices of Eli's one ton cheesecake was two blocks — perhaps a quarter of a mile! — long. People are really bad at making time/money calculations when something free is involved...but on the other hand, this particular cheesecake is a Tradition, which often perverts rational behavior.

But the Tribune's At Play team is really the star of the Taste's media show, with eight blog posts on the festival in the past few days, not to mention last week's entire At Play section. Reactions and retractions abound: the team has running, booth-by-booth commentary about each dish*; Monica Eng apologized for some recommendations she made once she actually tasted the stuff, and then provides some helpful hints on how to conduct oneself (by way of having made these mistakes herself); Chris Borrelli summed up all the reasons why people generally avoid the Taste; intern Michael Pasternak has a nice human interest story about the antacid booths like Tums and Ultra Xcid lining the upset stomach of the Taste (fun fact: we have never once experienced heartburn!).

But nobody tops Phil Vettel, right? For two minutes and thirty-eight glorious seconds, Vettel tours around the Taste wearing a hat cam that gives us a "Phil's-eye view" of his lunch, a perspective we only wish was permanently accessible to us. The truly sparkling moment comes when Phil takes a bite of his mixed berry sorbet at Canady le Chocolatier, the squeals of delight betraying an afternoon of scarfing greasy, heavy, crappy food in the heat and humidity. Enjoyable throughout.

And finally, while it's impossible to say what brilliant, unfettered mind concocted this, we're nevertheless thrilled with the unholy mashup of the Talking Heads' "Once In A Lifetime," a poetic response to the rigors of the Taste, and the specter of Phil Vettel, choir person. It is, by far, the most successful piece of media inspired by Taste '08.

[Photo: crayfish boil from Lagniappe, via corsi photo, who took dozens of great photos of the Taste]

* Like with the Chicagoist post, the real story here is in the comments. Three different people asked what "meh" means, as it's used repeatedly in the reviews. Phil Vettel keeps his head and responded with "Meh? 'It’s a verbal shoulder shrug. It’s not great, it’s not awful, it’s…meh.'" We would have gone on a tirade about three-letter Scrabble-valid words and then executed all the offending commenters. Feh!

Okay, truth time: how many non-Irish non-English majors have actually read James Joyce's epic monster, Ulysses? The book, which takes place entirely on June 16th, 1904, is considered to be one of the greatest English-language novels ever written, covering a day in the life of one Leopold Bloom, Dubliner. Every June 16th for the past fifty years or so, the Irish and literature lovers around the world have celebrated Bloomsday with Ulysses readings and (drunken) merriment. It's like St. Patrick's Day, but with the patina of culture!

Here in Chicago, your Bloomsday celebratory options are myriad, so let's lay out one possible scenario:

1) The Irish American Heritage Center in the far reaches of Irving Park is hosting a Bloomsday reading, with music, tonight at 8pm. Tickets are $10 at the door.

2) Pub time! Northwest Side, please:

• The Abbey Pub has great Irish bar snacks like Curry Fries ($3.95), or if you want something more filling, a Curried Chicken Pie ($8.95) would fit the bill. And if you think curry isn't indigenous to Ireland, think again.

• Chief O'Neill's Pub is famous for its Irish cuisine, and its menu is more oriented toward the Emerald Isle than most so-called Irish pubs. Try a cup of Guinness & Cheddar Soup ($4) and a full pound of braised lamb shank with root vegetables ($16.95), and don't regret a minute of it — your arteries will forgive you in your next life

• Galvin's Public House has the virtue of being relatively nearby the IAHC on Lawrence and Austin. Other virtues include their all-day service of traditional Irish Breakfast, with two eggs, two bangers, two rashers, black & white pudding, grilled tomato, Irish beans, fries & toast for $8.50. Of course, "all day" ends at 9pm when the kitchen closes, so use your time wisely.

3) Stumble to bed, promising yourself that this is the year you'll finally read Ulysses.

[Photo: a James Joyce-themed Irish pub in suburban Atlanta of all places, via tmac0381/flickr]

In this age of precocious little journobrats eating scorpions and snails and Top Chef Junior (not to mention 2007 Beard Award-winning Spatulatta), we were completely unsurprised to receive a notice about Chicago's very first Kids' Restaurant Week.

The week-long festival starts on Saturday, June 21st at the Green City Market, and it's being sponsored by Cookie (some kind of modern mother magazine) and Gourmet (some kind of food publication). That day, George Bumbaris of Prarie Grass Café, Rick Bayless of Topolobampo and, in fact, the Spatulatta Girls, will be giving cooking demos.

Blue Water Grill, Lula Cafe, Zealous , OTOM, Vie, and Uncommon Ground (among other notable restaurants) are also on board, with kid-friendly tastings and the like. It's $20.08 a person, but kids under 12 pay their age; reasonable enough. A buck from each meal goes to the Green City Market, which is a cause.

If you insist on introducing your kids to expensive restaurant dining — which, given the industry we're in, you absolutely should — better to do it in this discrete environment far away from our 8pm table. God forbid, the children might even learn something!

Kids' Restaurant Week [Official Site

[Photo: we refuse to make a baby-in-the-microwave joke, via lincolnblues/flickr]

We’re here to offer you consolation for your lousy loot and throw out a tip on where to score what is, in our estimation, the best thing one can get for free: wine. Every Friday night, A. Vision — a clever shop in Ukrainian Village offering wine and flowers — hosts a free wine tasting from 5 – 7 p.m. This week they’re pouring imports from Candid Wines such as Girasole Pinot Noir, a clean and bright organic wine. Others include Martin Schatzel Pinot Blanc and Huff Kerner. Buy a bottle of Olson Ogden Sonoma County Syrah and A. Vision will kick twenty percent of the proceeds to the Alzheimer’s Association of Greater Illinois.

It’s free, it’s Friday, it’s finally warm, do you need another reason to drink? If you do, walk across the street to Piccolo for peanut butter or pistachio gelato. The combo might give you indigestion, but whatever, it’s the weekend.

A. Vision [Official Site]
Candid Wines [Official Site]

Piccolo [MenuPages]

Summer is coming and so is your family. If you’re lucky, maybe your friends will visit too. It’s not that we think taking the architectural boat tour for the ninth time or drinking an overpriced martini on the 95th floor of the Hancock Building is a bad idea (okay, we lie a little) but we’re here to offer a better option. Take a food tour!

For $40, Chicago Food Planet will lead you on a 3-hour, 8-stop trek through the Gold Coast, Old Town and Lincoln Park any day of the week. Restaurant and shop names aren’t disclosed, but rest assured you’ll have plenty to sample, including Chicago’s famous stuffed pizza (that's thin crust, heavy on ingredients—not to be confused with the thick crust, cheese-gagging deep dish variety). Other stops include a Middle Eastern deli, a chocolate lounge and shops dedicated to spices and herbs, cheese, olive oil and fudge. If you’ve got a picky eater in your pack, accommodations can be made with advance notice.

That covers lunch, but your mom still wants to hear about the buildings. Chicago Food Planet guides cover that too. As you stroll through these historic neighborhoods (thankful not to be elbowing your way up Michigan Avenue) your guide will give you a cultural narrative of the neighborhood and its establishments. Pick up tips on where to shop, worthy restaurants and entertainment venues. Still no dinner reservations for the weekend? Use your time wisely and make a reservation while you’re on the tour. After an afternoon of walking, it’ll be time to eat again soon.

Serious sugar junkies will want to reserve their $40 for Chicago Chocolate Tours. Pick from four 6-stop routes: Loop, Andersonville and Uptown, Magnificent Mile and State Street or Magnificent Mile and Oak Street. This is sure to satisfy crabby and happy visitors alike, but only on Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Chicago Food Planet [Official Site]
Chicago Chocolate Tours [Official Site]

[Photo: food tour patron via Chicago Food Planet]

So! The news cycle is awful fast these days. Moments after we commented on the game of chicken being waged by Roscoe's and Rosscoe's, Rosscoe's (the one in Chicago) decided to go ahead and change its name to Chicago's Home of Chicken and Waffles. Smart move! However, this doesn't necessarily the personal score between Herb Hudson (of LA's Rosscoe's) and Darnell Johnson (of Chicago's Home of Chicken and Waffles as of this very moment); Hudson still plans on suing for "damages." Ehh...he won the name battle, he's the more successful businessperson, he should just get over it and move on. Besides, how would you calculate the damages thus far? Some arbitrary percentage of all chicken and waffles sold thus far? Shouldn't Johnson's public shaming be enough? It is plenty for us.

Chicago owner agrees to change restaurant's name [Tribune]

Tonight's commute is going to suck!
Wait it Out at A MANO
and Save Big Bucks!

This is from Javier's own kitchen across the street from where I live in Irving Park. Javier's family have or had their own bakery in Bogota for many years. Javier followed the love of his life here to Chicago a few years ago. A bad shoulder injury left him unable to continue working at Swedish Bakery in Andersonville where he was the head pastry chef. He has just decided to start baking things at home and hopefully can generate some interest. He and his wife Diana are the loveliest of people.

(Comes in 2 packages of 6...ALSO a great gift for you VEGAN friends!)

Plenty of delicious stollen samples will be available as well as stollen trivia. Plus, you can enter to win the title of Honorary Selmarie Stollen Ambassador! A position not to be taken lightly, the Selmarie Stollen Ambassador will be supplied with Selmarie T-Shirts and plenty of stollen to share with co-workers, classmates and friends during the weeks leading up to Christmas.