There's a pretty giggle-worthy post over at Eggbeater, in which a guest writer who works at an unnamed grocery store chain goes on and on about how rotten/funny customers can be. It's great shop-talk, in any facet of the service and retail industry, to bitch about customers. It helps remind you and your fellow retail/service workers that you're not alone, and it helps rob the customers of some of their seemingly infinite power to make your life miserable if they want to. But even if you're not in the industry, this particular post might get you to crack a smile, and if you recognize any of your own habits therein, might even help you to become a more conscientious grocery customer.

How to Shop at a Grocery Store in the USA [Eggbeater]

No. Freaking. Way.

That's really the only appropriate reaction to the news that the Swiss company Katadyn has developed a fully cooked, ready-to-eat cheeseburger in a can. Talk about making Michael Pollan's head explode! The camping "food" is heated by just tossing it into boiling water for a while. Then you pop the top, drop the plop and eat. Nasty!

We were directed, via A Hamburger Today, to a photo series documenting one man's taste-test, including lots of close-ups.

The Cheeseburger In A Can Reveals Itself [A Hamburger Today]

(above: gross)

This article in the New York Times is making its way around the blogosphere, and with good reason. For anybody who's ever attended a party, the spectre of double-dipping looms in the background of the hors-d'eovres table. The article covers a study that found, (surprise, surprise!) that double-dipping a chip is a good way to spread germs. Well, duh.

It's a problem because most chips, crackers, vegetable slices and other dip-able things are too big for a one-dip, one-bite policy. Often you need that second load of dip to comfortably get through the vehicle. Now, science has proved that if you ram that cracker back into the cheese sauce, you're a jerk who's intent on getting everyone else sick. What's a dip glutton to do.

It's so simple, people, that if you're not already in this habit, maybe you really are a jerk. You just turn the chip, vegetable, cracker or whatever around and dip the other, un-bitten-from end. Yes, it requires a bit more dexterity, but we think you can handle it. This way, you keep the dip relatively sanitary while also getting your fill. Win-win, right?

Oh, and of course, wash those hands before you even get near a shared appetizer platter. During Superbowl/flu season, we can't stress that enough.

Dip Once or Dip Twice? [NY Times]

It's a good time of year for a party. Hey, it's always a good time for a party, but during this endless stretch between New Year's and the first warm weather of March, it's nice to force a little sunlight in the form of cocktails, finger-foods and small talk. To that end, we bring you this roundup of seasonal parties here in San Francisco over the next days and weeks.

Bits and Bites supplies a list of Superbowl shindigs that can save your living room couch and carpet a significant amount of wear and tear. For the same amount of money you'd probably spend on appetizers and beer for a party at home, you and yours can occupy space at one of these mid-to-high-end venues to watch two East-Coast teams battle it out in between $2.7 million commercials. [3 Superbowl Parties]

If you didn't get enough New Year's partying last month, there's always the Chinese New Year to ring in during February. Zagat has a list of such celebrations around town and the region. Happy year of the rat! [Ringing in the Year of the Rat]

Alcademics lists two beer-related events, one that lasts all month long! [SF Event: 80 Beers; SF Event: Strong Beer Month]

And SFist brings a whole slew of chocolate to-dos. The post ran last Friday so a couple of these have happened, but plenty are left to savor. [Hot Stuff: Chocolate Happenings]

Welcome back to the Weeklies Over Coffee, your look at the alt-weekly food sections that invade this city each Wednesday.

From the San Francisco Bay Guardian:

Paul Reidinger visits Serpentine and finds it a more aurally palatable cousin to Slow Club. [Factory Fresh]

Reidinger also tosses out some ideas on where to stick all those greens that litter the produce aisles this time of year. [Green Winter]

Ailene Sankur takes on Venus for brunch in Berkeley and finds it to be underwhelming. We'll offer no comment on Venus except to say that they once served us decaf in place of regular coffee and we've never really gotten over it. [Breakfast of Blandness]

And, finally, L.E. Leone gets going on the weather and geography and how to cook a chicken, and also sort of mentions Metro Kathmandu, where you can get lamb burgers. [Cheap Eats]

Over at the SF Weekly:

Meredith Brody lurks around to various Vietnamese soup emporiums, seeking relief for her cold and reviewing pho. This is a good time of year for such a tour. [The Pho Chronicles]

The San Francisco Chronicle reported today that the collapse of the Sacramento River salmon population will likely lead to sharp restrictions on this year's fishing season and higher prices at the market. Meanwhile, SFist brings news from the Marin Independent Journal that the endangered Coho failed to appear at all in Muir Woods.

From the IJ:

"No coho have come up Redwood Creek so far this year," said Steve Hampton, of the state Department of Fish and Game, at a meeting Tuesday night in Mill Valley to discuss the effects of the spill on Marin.

"They should be up by now," he said. "It has been a low year for coho up and down the coast, but Redwood Creek is the only zero."

The Redwood Creek coho salmon run comes from the Pacific Ocean and through Muir Beach, where the fish congregate waiting for seasonal rains to break a berm at the beach. They can then travel up the creek and spawn. Visitors can usually see the spectacle at Muir Woods, but not this winter.

That's bad news for an endangered species. The Chinook or King salmon are what we usually eat, and they've been running pretty low, as the AP and now the Chron have reported.

From the Chron:

"The low returns are particularly distressing since this stock has consistently been the healthy 'workhorse' for salmon fisheries off California and most of Oregon," the [Pacific Fisheries Management] Council's executive director, Donald McIsaac, said in a statement Tuesday.

Bad news, friends. Here's what a fishing industry rep had to say:

"We've known that the numbers were going to come in low, but we didn't know they would be this low," said Zeke Grader, executive director of the Pacific Coast Federation of Fishermen's Associations, which represents commercial fishermen.

"This could end up closing us," Grader said. "Part of what we're trying to do is put a fish on the table that people can afford."

Apparently a big part of the decline has to do with polluted and diverted inland rivers and a lack of fresh water for the fish.

"Dams along the Sacramento and San Joaquin rivers are holding back water, and the flows are usually less than what the salmon need," [Bay Institute scientist Tina] Swanson said. The low flows of freshwater to the bay can also raise overall water temperatures beyond what is healthy for juvenile salmon, she said. In the delta, the water pumps suck up salmon and other fish. The pumping system moves the juvenile salmon into large, open areas of the delta, where they are prey for bigger fish.

Bottom line: If you want to eat local salmon this year, be ready to pay for it. But maybe you shouldn't. Maybe, just maybe, it's time to give salmon and other seafood populations a rest for a little while. Think about it.

Missing coho in Redwood Creek may be latest fallout of oil spill
Salmon arriving in record low numbers [SF Chronicle]
SFist Photo: Where Have All the Salmon Gone?
Salmon Press Packet [Pacific Fisheries Management Council]
Background: Salmon [Pacific Fisheries Management Council]

Every week we publish the San Francisco Bay Guardian's Blender as a tribute to Paul Reidinger. Here's this week's. Stay tuned for the Weeklies over Coffee later.

(1) Pecan waffle with caramel sauce, Cajun Kitchen, Ventura

(2) Hot buttered rum, Elixir, SF

(3) Nachos, Sharks game at HP Pavilion, San Jose

(4) Ruby Ale and Tater Tots, McMenamins Blue Moon Tavern and Grill, Portland, Ore.

(5) Gravad lax, Ikea, Emeryville

The Blender [SFBG]

This week's San Francisco Chronicle food section is all about pickling stuff. They've got this front page story on Korean kim chee, on which several other briney pieces piggy-back. Also plenty of Kuleto coverage. Shall we?

As mentioned, the big feature is on kimchi, that Korean staple of pickled cabbage that seems to be making inroads in the U.S. [Cooking in Common: Korea's kimchi addiction catches on in the West ]

Following the feature, we get a variety of pickling recipes from Karen Solomon. [Cooking in Common: Winter pickles are cooler than a cucumber]

The Taster's Choice Panel, in its run-up to the Superbowl, checked out potato chips and likes Kettle Krinkle Cut as the most "dip-worthy" chip. [Taster's Choice]

Still more coverage of Epic roasthouse, part of the new Kuleto venture on the Embarcadero [What's New: Bygone fantasy provides backdrop for Epic Roasthouse]

And of Waterbar, the other half of the venture. [What's New: Waterbar reflects bayside setting with sustainable fish]

Michael Bauer returns to Terzo to find that they've changed their focus away from small plates and toward larger entrees. Look for an updated MP listing in coming days. [Dining Update: Portions, prices up at 'more satisfying' Terzo]

And finally, the new-ish and highly-acclaimed SPQR is doing the chef shuffle as Daniel Holzman leaves Nate Appleman as sole executive chef. Chris Behr and Huw Thornton are coming from A16 as chef de cuisine and executive sous chef, respectively. [Inside Scoop]

More information on that sharp decline in the 2007 salmon run up the Sacramento River. Basically, last year was the weakest spawning year in recent memory. For the first time in 15 years, the salmon population failed to meet spawning goals set by the Pacific Fishery Management Council. From the council's press release:

Last week, the Council’s Salmon Technical Team (STT) met to tabulate salmon returns and catches. Two areas of bad news emerged. First, in 2007 the adult spawning escapement for Sacramento River fall Chinook failed to meet the escapement goal (122,000‐180,000 adults) for the first time in 15 years. Sacramento River fall Chinook are the largest component of Central Valley Chinook. (The escapement goal, or conservation objective, is the optimal number of adult fish returning to spawn in order to maximize the production of the stock).

Second, the count of “jacks” in the Central Valley fall Chinook return this past fall was a record low. Only 2,000 jacks returned, compared to a long‐term average of about 40,000 and the previous record low of 10,000. Jacks are immature fish that return to the rivers at age two (unlike adult fish, which return at age three or four). Their numbers are used to forecast future returns. This suggests that 2008 abundance will probably also be weak. Last week scientists questioned whether returns in 2008 could meet the conservation objective even without any commercial or ecreational salmon fishing where these fish are found. If returns do not meet the conservation objective, an emergency rule from National Marine Fisheries Service may be required to allow any fisheries.

According to the council, the economic impact will be severe, as the numbers are similar to the 2006 Klamath River decline that led to an abbreviated salmon season. Cross your fingers, people.

Salmon Press Packet [Pacific Fishery Management council]

The following video comes via the Amateur Gourmet, who we've liked for a while now, and who, thanks to this post, has just officially become a blogger crush on such a magnitude that if we ever see Adam Roberts in public we're going to kiss him right then and there.

Seriously, how funny was this sketch, and how much is watching it a 21st-century version of Proust biting into that Madeleine cookie? It makes one wonder how many other great, forgotten moments from childhood one might stumble upon on YouTube. By the power of Greyskull, let's find out...

Edith Ann's Sandwich [Amateur Gourmet]

We hate to admit this, but it may be time to start eating less seafood. First tuna wants to kill you, now Salmon is running perilously low. It may be time to massively back off the oceans for a few years and let them re-stock themselves.

According to the Associated Press (via SF Gate),

The number of chinook salmon returning to California's Central Valley has reached a near-record low, pointing to an "unprecedented collapse" that could lead to severe restrictions on West Coast salmon fishing this year, according to federal fishery regulators.

After a total shutdown in 2006 and a weak salmon season in 2007, not to mention that trouble with this year's Dungeness season, West Coast fishing fleets as well as salmon consumers were likely putting a lot of stock in this year's season, which opens in May.

The population dropped more than 88 percent from its all-time high five years ago, according to an internal memo sent to members of the Pacific Fishery Management Council and obtained by The Associated Press... Only about 90,000 returning adult salmon were counted in the Central Valley in 2007, the second lowest number on record, the memo said. The population was at 277,000 in 2006 and 804,000 five years ago.

Dang, dude.

We called the council to ask what the effect might be on the local fishing and seafood economy. Namely, will we be paying out the nose for salmon this year, if there is any available at all? They said they were issuing a press release tomorrow, and that they'd answer questions then. Stay tuned...

Calif. Salmon Population Declines [SF Gate]
Pacific Fishery Management Council [Homepage]
Summary of 2008 California Ocean Salmon Seasons [California Department of Fish and Game]

Here's a nice video that goes step-by-step through a basic Cioppino recipe. This is the perfect time of year for that San Francisco native dish, with Dungeness prices at their lowest. If you don't want to make Cioppino, this guy will ship some to you, or you can buy it at a number of restaurants around town. Either way. You're probably just getting ready to have lunch right now, so this will get your appetite going.

So yesterday 7x7 posted the results of its readers' poll for San Francisco's best everything in food and drink. Some highlights:

Gary Danko took best overall/best service
Boulevard took best classic
Bacar took best wine list
A 16 took best first date
Citizen Cake took best dessert
Nick's Crispy Tacos took best meal under $15

Most of these choices seem fine, if a bit subjective, but there's one on which we have to question the judgement of 7x7's readers. Best Mexican: La Taqueria. Really? They've got great tacos, but overall best Mexican? Highly questionable. We'll refer you to the experts at Burritoeater for a discussion.

One thing that jumps to mind, aside from one's own personal opinion of La Taqueria's popularity, is, if Nick's Crispy Tacos got best meal under $15 and meals at La Taqueria are under $15, and Nick's Crispy Tacos is also a Mexican Joint, well, which is it, 7x7 readers?

We'd be very interested to know what Menupages SF readers think of as best Mexican in SF.

Meanwhile, the 7x7 list is quite a bit of fun, and we're glad they put it together, especially because it comes opposite the weeklies' lists, both of which go up in the summer.

Eat and Drink Awards 2008 [7x7]

In case you missed the opening party for Waterbar and Epic Roasthouse, Pat Kuleto's latest pair of ventures positioned prominently just south of Rincon Park (that's the one with the big bow and arrow on the Embarcadero), Cooking With Amy has a whole bunch of photos, as well as a nice write-up about the evening.

Sounds like a hell of a do. Mountains of food, a Doobie Brothers cameo and even a fireworks show under the Bay Bridge. The pair of restaurants, which Kuleto told the Examiner are, "the first free-standing structures to be built solely for culinary purposes in The City in more than 100 years," are due to open to the public tomorrow.

You're surely familiar with the concept here, but let's revisit anyway: Epic Roasthouse, headed by chef Jan Birnbaum is a new take on an American steakhouse. Waterbar, with Mark Franz and Parke Ulrich at the helm, will serve seafood. The side-by-side restaurants will share a 6,500 square-foot patio in the shadow of the Bay Bridge.

From the Examiner:

“I think these will be two of the best restaurants of their kind in America,” Kuleto said. “We’re at the best location in San Francisco and we have some of the very best chefs in the country.”

So there you have it. Big talk from a big-time developer. Tomorrow's the first day you can judge for yourself, and we'd love to get your opinions.

Photo Credit: Cindy Chew, The Examiner

Pair of restaurants set to make history [Examiner]

Well, it's certainly been an eventful 85 percent of a decade since summer, 1999, but one local restaurant has kept on throughout. This week, Foreign Cinema celebrates its 8 1/2-year anniversary, a tribute to Federico Fellini's 1963 film 8 1/2.

The celebration Thurs. Feb 7, which doubles as a benefit for Streetsmart 4 Kids in San Francisco, goes on next Thursday and features "acrobats, drink, Fellini, food, magic," according to the restaurant's website.

Foreign Cinema Celebrates 8 1/2 ... Years of Business [Zagat]

As anyone who's ever been to Japan, Japantown or even just a sushi bar at lunch can attest, the Japanese are way into pictures and models of food. They're also into Bento boxes, portable boxes with individual sections for your different courses. We love these things, so it was with a considerable amount of delight that we clicked through a post on Bay Area Bites to find the Flickr stream Mr. Bento Porn, a collection of photos taken of bento lunches. Take a look:

So... How many hours have we been looking at that site now? Frankly, we'd rather not say. But it's great, no? The Bay Area Bites piece also gets into some interesting history about food-to-go. Read it.

Bento Porn [Bay Area Bites]
Mr. Bento Porn [Flickr Photostream]

In a city where chain retail is about as popular as republican politicians and republican politicians are about as popular as heat rash, one has to wonder about the non-stop attempts to open chain stores here. From the Bayshore Home Depot to the recent flap over a proposed Red Mango frozen yogurt stand in North Beach to the Richmond Starbucks, San Franciscans seem to resist big-time retail establishments at every turn.

In the 2006 November election, voters even ratified their general opposition to chain stores by passing proposition G, the Small Business Protection Act.

That's why we were surprised to read in the San Francisco Business Times that a restaurant chain without a single California location is looking to enter the state's market with three Bay Area stores, including one in San Francisco. Made In Japan Teriyaki Experience, a Canadian-based "fast casual" restaurant chain, plans to open three Bay Area locations in the near future, including one in San Francisco. If that goes well, the chain intends to open 37 more Bay Area stores, with a goal of 102 across Northern California.

While the proposed Financial District location is zoned "downtown office," as opposed to "neighborhood commercial," like the proposed North Beach Red Mango, it still seems like a bold first move for the chain owners. The restaurant will have to go before the San Francisco Planning Commission, and you can bet, in an election year, somebody will make a stink over it.

The other two Bay Area stores will open in Hayward and Union City, according to the company's website.

Teriyaki chain plans 40 Bay Area outlets [San Francisco Business Times]
Made In Japan Teriyaki Experience [Homepage]
San Francisco Zoning Map

Happy Burns day. Hope your dinner is offal good!

Okay, now for the regularly scheduled San Francisco Chronicle wine section roundup.

The main story is a big profile of grape-grower Larry Hyde and his vineyards. [King of Carneros: Grape grower sets the standard for the region's wines]

Selections takes a look at Australian Riesling. [The Chronicle Wine Selections: Austrian Riesling]

And Pairings gives us a recipe for crab spring rolls. [Pairings: Crab goes under wraps for racy Riesling]

In the Sipping News we get word of a rum tasting program that sounds a lot like Tommy's Tequila degree but for rum fans. [The Sipping News: A reward for rum lovers]

TSN also brings news of a gimmick for transporting wine on airplanes. [The Sipping News: Padding for flying wine]

And Spirits tells the tale of a couple who have successfully launched their own artisanal bitters company [Spirits: Couple take small-batch bitters in new directions]

Yes, yes, we normally wait a while before dishing up the Chronicle Over Cocktails on Fridays, and this Friday is the same, but cocktail news happens elsewhere in the local blogosphere, people, and there's enough of interest that we thought we'd do an early-afternoon roundup just to get you thinking about happy hour. During these dreary winter days, it's on everybody's mind.

Speaking of dreary winter days, Jessica Battilana has a nice piece up on 7x7's Bits and Bites on hot cocktails. She provides a recipe for a hot toddy that includes star anise. Ha, hoity toddy is more like it! No, actually, hot is better. [Trend: Hot Cocktails]

Elsewhere at 7x7, Jordan Mackay blogs about his recent trip to Nopa. Sounsd great, but we're amazed he was able to find the keyboard after the description of his little sampler. [The Beauty Of Nopa]

Alcademics brings news of a new, ceremonial wedding cocktail [A new tradition: the unity cocktail]

And while it's not exactly a cocktail post, per se, we thought it would be worth mentioning the exhaustive Bay Area Bites report on Russia House, that looming restaurant that overlooks the 101 at Bayshore, promising good times and vodka for all. [Russia House]

Photo: One of Jordan Mackay's many, many tastes at Nopa

A couple of the issues we've been covering seem to be coming to nice conclusions, or at least stopping points, which we like to see on a Friday.

That Sandoval/Peskin ordinance seeking the two Alcohol Control Districts got middling support from the SF Planning Commission. As you no doubt recall, the ordinance would prevent new liquor licenses from being granted along a stretch of Mission Street from Silver to the Daly City border, as well as in the North Beach Commercial District.

According to planner and board laiason Tara Sullivan-Lenane, the board supported the Excelsior ACD but came to no conclusion on the North Beach issue.

"They supported the excelsior one, but for North Beach, the language will read… that they encourage the supervisor to reach out to the neighborhood and the business community—there was a feeling that there was a lack of that—and to try and craft this legislation to be more successful," Lenane said.

The ordinance has a few more stops, including the Entertainment and Small Business Commissions, before it goes to the full board, and a source within Peskin's office indicated yesterday that it will likely be loosened up a little by then.

The much-anticipated Blue Bottle Coffee is open and serving in Mint Plaza, with much to-do in the local Internets. SFist ran a great piece on the cafe's $20,000 "Jules Vern-ish" coffee maker. Eater SF has got some photos up of opening day. And SFoodie is just generally cheering the place on.

Also, Eater SF brings word from the Golden Gate Restaurant Association that the trade group won't pursue an appeal against the city's employer-sponsored health-care initiative.

[tk planning commission]

$20,000 Coffee at Blue Bottle Cafe [SFist]
Live From Mint Plaza: Blue Bottle Cafe Arrives
Blue Bottle in Mint Plaza finally open! [SFoodie]
EaterWire: GGRA Won't Appeal, Plus Bollyhood News! [Eater SF]
GGRA Statement on Employer Mandated Health Care [GGRA Website]

Okay, we've got a bit of news coming your way, promise, but in the meantime pacify yourself with these videos. First, there's this clip from the Mighty Boosh, an MPSF favorite:

Cheese song, The Mighty Boosh

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Got that? Now get ready for this insane cover song here:

People, the Internets are a crazy, insane place. You're all nuts.

Do you know what tomorrow is? Apparently it's Burns Night. This comes as news to us, not being Scottish, but to Scots and Scottish ex-pats worldwide, this is the big night to recite Robert Burns' poetry, make a whiskey toast to just about everything in the room and eat haggis.

At least most celebrants get to eat haggis. Here in the freedom lovin' U.S. of A we don't allow that delightful mix of sheep's entrails, lungs and whatnot diced with onions and stuffed into a stomach. Not that the staff here at MPSF is particularly eager to get on the other side of one of these monstrosities, but we feel that if assault rifles and Hardee's Country Breakfast Burritos are permitted in this country, so, too, should haggis be.

To that end, the Grinder is reporting that the Scottish Government is asking the U.S. to reconsider its ban on the pure expression of dietary freedom that is haggis.

If you can somehow get your hands on one, tomorrow night would be the night to do it. This would be the poet's 247th birthday, which you know is a big year. The man who brought us Olde Lang Syne and Address to a Haggis deserves his drunken due.

Haggis Thursday [Bauer Blog]
Haggis Comes A-Knockin' [The Grinder]

God Bless SFist for doing our work for us. That inimitable site has a nice roundup of the frozen yogurt happenings around town.

Background: Yesterday, the San Francisco Chronicle ran an article on a local winner of "Survivor" who wanted to put his $1 million toward opening a Red Mango frozen yogurt joint in North Beach, but has been blocked from opening on account of anti-chain-store laws in the area. A nearly identical article ran today as a follow-up.

Meanwhile, a Pinkberry appears to be cruising toward opening over in Dogpatch.

But hey, don't take our word for it. Check out Eater SF, SFist, Curbed and the Chronicle. Dang, the local Internets are pulsing with frozen yogurt goings-on:

Fro-Yo Wars [Eater SF]
Fozen Yogurt Wars: Pinkberry In; Survivor Winner Out [SFist]
North Beach Divided: Some Stand Ground, Fear Future [Curbed SF]
North Beach ties up 'Survivor' winner [SF Chronicle]

Supervisor Aaron Peskin's move to ban new liquor licenses in North Beach may end up loosening considerably after today's San Francisco Planning Commission hearing, but at least one critic says the suggested concessions aren't enough.

The ordinance up for review today would ban all new on and off-sales of alcohol in the North Beach Commercial District. That means that no new bars, liquor stores or restaurants that sell alcohol would be able to open for at least five years. It would also prohibit the transfer of licenses within the neighborhood and would automatically revoke the license of any business that closed for more than 30 days.

However, Peskin's office indicated today that the supervisor would accept recommendations by the San Francisco Planning Department to loosen the restrictions. In a report, the department made three major recommendations to change the ordinance:

Instead of an outright ban, planners recommended a cap on the number of licenses. That means no additional alcohol-selling establishments could be opened, but that if one closed, another could open. The planning department also recommended that licenses be transferable within the neighborhood, and that the 30-day clause on considering a business abandoned be lengthened to 18 months.

A source within Peskin's office indicated the supervisor was open to those suggestions. The concern, according to Peskin's office, is not necessarily controlling drunken behavior in the neighborhood, but controlling the types of businesses that open there, affecting the character of the neighborhood. The supervisor is seeking a way to make the neighborhood more friendly to service-oriented businesses like hardware stores and other retail.

But North Beach Chamber of Commerce head Marsha Garland said that even if the proposed changes to the ordinance go into effect, she would still oppose it.

"With the impact of online shopping, retail’s never going to be the same again. You cannot force a shoe store into a shop when the landlords are charging restaurant prices. It doesn’t work that way," Garland said today. "They’re not paying any attention to the reality. You’ve got to let the market determine what goes into the space."

You can watch the Planning Commission meeting on SFGTV, starting at 1:30 this afternoon.

Limiting booze in North Beach? Are you drunk? [Fault Lines]
Full text of ordinance PDF [SF Board of Supervisors]
CurbedWire: Peskin to Ban Alcohol, Screw With Zoning Map [Curbed SF]
Planning Commission Agenda, Jan. 24, 2008 [SF Planning]
San Francisco Zoning Map [SFgov]

Who saw this one coming? Supervisors Aaron Peskin and Gerardo Sandoval have been quietly working on an ordinance to ban new alcohol selling establishments in both North Beach and the Excelsior district. This seems a little extreme in one of the city's most nightlife-heavy districts, but there it is.

The proposed ordinance, due to go before the San Francisco Planning Commission today, would not only prohibit new alcohol sales within the North Beach Commercial District, it would extend the control to 1/4 mile from the district's border. That includes Chinatown, the Embarcadero and the Marina.

According to the text of the ordinance,

A concentration of alcoholic beverage establishments in a neighborhood disrupts the desired mix of land uses that contribute to a livable neighborhood and discourages more desirable and needed commercial uses in the area. A concentration of establishments selling alcoholic beverages in an area may therefore contribute to the deterioration of the neighborhood and to the concomitant devaluation of property and destruction of community values and quality of life.

In addition to implementing a North Beach ban, the ordinance also establishes a so-called Alcohol Restricted Use District in the Excelsior, along Mission Street from Silver Avenue to the Daly City border.

The hearing is set to begin at 1:30 p.m. today. The proposed alcohol ban is item no. 15. We'll be bringing you more news on the issue as it progresses. Meanwhile, you can take a look at the ordinance yourself below, as well as a post on the topic from Curbed SF.

Full text of ordinance PDF [SF Board of Supervisors]
CurbedWire: Peskin to Ban Alcohol, Screw With Zoning Map [Curbed SF]
Planning Commission Agenda, Jan. 24, 2008 [SF Planning]
San Francisco Zoning Map [SFgov]

This is a big week for the Weeklies Over Coffee. The San Francisco Bay Guardian's food section has a buddy: Techsploitation takes a unique look at cloned meat. Shall we dive in, then?

From the San Francisco Bay Guardian:

Paul Reidinger has high hopes for Cassis, which now occupies the former Winterland space at 2101 Sutter St. [Nice guys finish first]

Molly Freedenberg takes a look at Tcho chocolate, the new project of Wired Magazine co-founder Louis Rossetto. Appropriately, the product was available for tasting at the Electronic Frontier Foundation's 17th anniversary party. [Dark Chocolate 1.0]

Paul Reidinger divulges tips on how to overcome over-salted food. [Nursing the ratchet effect]

L.E. Leone talks about bookshelf painting, cooking pork chops and, briefly, the Citrus Club. [Cheap Eats]

And finally, Analee Newitz gets a cameo here in TWOC, as she turns the lazer focus of Techsploitation to cloned meat. This may be the only argument we've heard in favor of cloned food that didn't come from the cloning industry. [Let's Eat Clone]

Meanwhile, over at the San Francisco Weekly;

Meredith Brody actually manages to mention the name of the restaurant she's reviewing in the second paragraph of her review. She really seems to like Laiola, but can't quite let go of an apparent regret in ordering. [The Marina's Spanish-inspired Laiola: Intriguing, Irresistible]

Well, this New York Times article is quite disturbing. Seems the tuna used in most of 20 New York sushi restaurants sampled contains so much mercury that, "a regular diet of six pieces a week would exceed the levels considered acceptable by the Environmental Protection Agency." Yikes.

“No one should eat a meal of tuna with mercury levels like those found in the restaurant samples more than about once every three weeks," said Dr. Michael Gochfeld, professor of environmental and occupational medicine at the Robert Wood Johnson Medical School in Piscataway, N.J.

Scary. Apparently five of the restaurants had mercury levels so high the Food and Drug Administration is considering stepping in and taking the fish off the market.

But, while that's all very disturbing for New Yorkers, it doesn't affect pretty little San Francisco, does it? Well, the Times article doesn't explicitly identify our city, but it does indicate that,

Although the samples were gathered in New York City, experts believe similar results would be observed elsewhere.

“Mercury levels in bluefin are likely to be very high regardless of location,” said Tim Fitzgerald, a marine scientist for Environmental Defense, an advocacy group that works to protect the environment and improve human health.

That's in addition to this report on 60 Minutes last week that explored the global market for tuna and concluded that the fish travel way farther after they're dead than you'd expect. What's caught in the Mediterranean winds up in Japan in the report. One would expect that other markets include similar amounts of frequent flier miles.

So be careful out there. Tuna is a tasty fish, but it's not worth poisoning yourself or your kid (for you breast-feeding moms).

High Mercury Levels Are Found in Tuna Sushi [NY Times]
The King Of Sushi [60 Minutes]

Happy Wednesday. Here's our weekly re-print of the San Francisco Bay Guardian's Blender. Check back this afternoon for the Weeklies Over Coffee.

(1) Batter-dipped fried dill pickles, Weird Fish, SF

(2) Huevos Rancheros, Mama's Royal Cafe, Oakl.

(3) Potato-kale soup with sausage from How to Cook Everything (Wiley, 2007)

(4) Spinach quiche and rugalach, Noe Valley Bakery, SF

(5) Zergüt imam bayeldi

The Blender [San Francisco Bay Guardian]

Here you go, a hot, steaming cup of San Francisco Chronicle food section.

The big story this week about fancy, boutique yogurt stores follows on the heels of yesterday's Nevius feature on Survivor winner Yul Kwon's difficulty in opening his own yogurt joint in North Beach. [The new yogurt culture]

Amanda Gold takes a visit to the tiny Olea and finds a neighborhood eatery that has embraced the trend toward ultra-fresh ingredients while bucking the trend toward many small plates. She likes it. [Menu takes surprise turns at Olea

Ron Siegel and Stephane Lacroix, executive chef and sommelier, respectively, of the Dining Room at the Ritz-Carlton, are still working out the details of their long-mulled plan to buy Myth restaurant. Meanwhile, Myth Sommelier Alex Fox has pledged to stay on there instead of heading off to Epic Roasthouse, where Inside Scoop last week reported he'd be going. However, Myth chef Sean O'Brian has said he'll be taking off on Jan. 31, sale or no sale. Whew. This is getting exhausting. Also, Blue Bottle Coffee is due to open today in the new Mint Plaza. [Inside Scoop]

And over at Taster's Choice, the panel got into some plain tofu, picking House, of Southern California, as the winner. [Taster's Choice]

Intrepid reporter C.W. Nevius today brings us the story of Yul Kwon, who took home the $1 million prize in the 2006 season of "Survivor," but who has been prevented from using that money to start a frozen yogurt shop in North Beach. Essentially, Kwon's plan to open a Red Mango franchise on the corner of Columbus Avenue and Green Street with several friends runs afoul of the neighborhood's strict controls on chain stores:

Mark Young, one of Kwon's partners, says that when they applied for a permit there were only four Red Mango dealerships in the United States. That was acceptable, because the formula retail ordinance, passed by voters in November of 2006, says the franchise must have fewer than 11 in the country or it is considered a chain.

Well, now that there are more than 11 Red Mangos, the permits have been yanked and Kwon and his buddies are up the proverbial creek sans proverbial paddle. Normally, we support laws meant to preserve a neighborhood's character, but one commenter got the better of that sentiment here:

i (sic) guess only businesses like BofA, citibank (sic) are exempt from the chain store ordinance. i (sic) wonder who Pasta Pomodoro had to pay off.... Boulange (bay bread) will definitely have 11 outlets very soon, does that mean they will have to move?? SF, as usual, is for sale for the right amount.

There's an extended analysis of the Nevius piece as well as another fro-yo-fracas over at Eater SF. Check it out.

'Survivor' champ may not make it in S.F. [San Francisco Chronicle]
Fro-Yo Wars: Red Mango Denied Entry Into North Beach [Eater SF]

Wow, it's Super Bowl time already. That sure crept up on us. As the Pats and Giants get ready to pound the crap out of each other in Arizona, it's time for you to dust off the dip bowl, keg cooler and Sterno trays and get ready for the mother of all junk-food-fests.

We'll be bringing you a few Superbowl recipes over the next 12 days. The first, we picked up from Cooking with Amy. It's a standard and delicious-sounding onion dip that Amy essentially lifted from the Whole Foods website, then spiced up. Go to her site to read it.

Meanwhile, dear readers, please consider this an open casting call for your appetizer recipes. Got a family Buffalo wings secret? An unbeatable guacamole? Can you make Frito pie just like the cafeteria ladies used to? Please, send in the recipes, photos and anything else you've got lying around. We'll run it as part of our pre-Superbowl appetizer coverage.

Super Bowl Onion Dip: Recipe [Cooking with Amy]

A Between Meals post about the Michael Bauer's latest service issue garnered lots of responses Monday. Restaurant service, like bad drivers, is one of those topics that almost always evokes a response from readers convinced they are in the right.

The SF Chronicle's head foodie brought up the sticky question of whether or not restaurants should seat incomplete parties. It comes as no news that many restaurants won't seat incomplete parties because there is no telling how long it will take the stragglers to get there, meanwhile valuable floor space is being used by customers who aren't yet paying.

Bauer didn't take a strong position, but 32 commenters broke out their superfluous quotation marks, poor spelling and general grammatical cluelessness in vehemently arguing their points. Those positions ran the gamut from staunch opposition to restaurants controlling who sits where when, to full support of hosts and waiters doing whatever they need to do to get tables sat, served and out.

Bauer suggested something like a 15-minute grace period for incomplete parties, which seems like the most reasonable solution. Either way, this seems like another one of those questions, like being nice to elderly people, that shouldn't have to come up. If everyone was on time, it wouldn't be an issue. We really hope Ms. Manners doesn't read Bauer, Bruni or us, for that matter.

"We'll seat you when your entire party arrives." [Between Meals]

A link to these Time photo essays came through the MPSF inbox over the weekend. Fascinating: The weekly bills range from $1.53 for the Aboubakar family of Breidjing Camp, Chad, to $500.07 for the Melander family of Bargteheide, Germany.

The photos come from the 2005 book, Hungry Planet: What the World Eats, by the husband-and-wife team of photographer Peter Menzel and writer Faith D'Aluisio. An NPR story from 2005 describes the project like so:

Imagine inviting yourself to dinner with 30 different families... in 24 countries. Imagine shopping, farming, cooking and eating with those families... taking note of every vegetable peeled, every beverage poured, every package opened...
Each chapter of their book features a portrait of a family, photographed alongside a week's worth of groceries. There's also a detailed list of all the food and the total cost.

The resulting book spawned the two essays that strikingly demonstrate the difference in food consumption habits between the industrialized and developing worlds. Check it:

What the World Eats, Part I [Time]
What the World Eats, Part II [Time]
Hungry Planet: What the World Eats [NPR]

One of the founders of local barbecue chain Asqew Grill died in an avalanche Jan 13 while skiing in Whitefish, Mont.

David Gogolak, 36, opened the chain's first location on Haight Street along with friend Mark Nicandri in 1999. The pair soon opened new locations, including five in San Francisco, one in Emeryville and two in San Jose. According to the San Jose Business Journal,

In mid-2007 Asqew moved to Whitefish, where he could pursue outdoor passions including hiking, boating, swimming and skiing.

The Journal reported that Gogolak, son of former NFL kicker Pete Gogolak, is survived by "his wife, Nicole, their two children, Graylin and Johnny; David's parents, Peter and Kathy; and his brother, Tommy, of Darien, Conn."

Asqew Grill co-founder dies in avalanche [SJ Business Journal]

We already pointed you toward Schramsberg-gate, the A-1 story about all the craziness behind one of Northern California's most prestigious sparkling-wine-makers. Now it's time to see what else the San Francisco Chronicle has to say about beverages this wintry Friday.

Selections looks at Dry Creek Zinfandel, the Sonoma County varietal grown in one small but important valley: [Zin's Sweet Spot]

The Sipping News brings us tidings of a Commonwealth Club program on "San Francisco Beer Story: History, Culture, Taste, Cuisine." Sounds delicious. [Drink in San Francisco's beer history]

To go with the Zinfandel theme, Pairings offers a mildly spicy black bean chili. [Black bean chili turns down the heat for Zin]

Looks like the Gallos made the 2008 Vintners' Hall of Fame. Check out who else is on the list. [CIA Greystone announces 2008 Vintners Hall of Fame]

And finally, the Cocktailian messes around with a hibiscus Champagne cocktail. [A bloomin' garnish for the Wild Hibiscus Champagne cocktail]

We got a glimpse yesterday of how Traci Des Jardins spends her weekends. It's a little less glamorous than we expected: she stands in a lot of lines. Suppose that's to be expected if you want to go to Tartine and the Ferry Building and Blue Bottle Coffee on a Sunday morning.

Apparently Jardins kind of likes waiting in line, though. She thinks it's very French. She must, because, as a restaurateur who we would guess works at night, she probably has time on weekday mornings to run these errands. But hey, what do we know? Like normal Americans, we hate waiting in line.

Wait for it in San Francisco, Paris and All Over the World [Epi Log]

Call it cultural illiteracy, call it an ethnocentric educational system, shoot, just call it not being Austrialian. For some reason, we have never heard of Australia Day. This, apparently, is the celebration of the day in 1788 that the British First Fleet, under Capt. Arthur Phillip, sailed into Sydney Harbor and said, "right, this looks like a great place for a penal colony. Let's call it New South Wales."

Anyway, it's the biggest national holiday in Australia. Kind of like our Fourth of July. And Zagat brings the news that South Food and Wine Bar is celebrating next Saturday with a special menu. From Zagat:

The three-course Posh Pie + Pav menu starts with a Sydney Sunrise (that would be sparkling Shiraz and orange juice), followed by a Bushman's Plate (an Australian take on antipasto), posh pie with chunky chips and Pavlova for dessert (January 26; $25 per person at lunch, when it excludes the Bushman’s Plate, and $45 at dinner; 415-974-5599)

It doesn't really matter whether you've heard of Australia Day or not. That sounds like a damned good meal. Wonder if it's summer at South right now?

Celebrating Australia Day at South [Zagat]

Wow, crazy doings up at the Schramsberg winery in Napa. From the San Francisco Chronicle:

After years of living quietly overseas, middle son John Davies has suddenly re-emerged, claiming that behind the grapes and glamour of Calistoga's Diamond Mountain lies a tale of betrayal, stock manipulation and dementia. The only element missing is the score for the 1980s night-time soap opera "Falcon Crest."

Ha, okay, way to date yourself, there, Stacy Finz. But seriously, we love a good scandal, and Finz is right. This one has it all: Family infighting, mental illness, financial finagling and a beautiful, photogenic backdrop. It even has a prodigal son living overseas. We love ex-patriots who come back to claim the family fortune. Definitely worth a read.

BITTER HARVEST [SF Chronicle]

Remember that Starbucks that nobody wanted out in the Richmond? Well, after residents fought the coffee chain tooth, nail and exhaustive public comment session, the behemoth retreated, but as the Examiner reported today, they only hovered on the outskirts long enough to re-enter the neighborhood tucked inside the local Safeway, a chain apparently worth having. From the Ex:

Supervisor Jake McGoldrick, who represents the Richmond district, said he started receiving complaints in mid-December from residents angry about a Starbucks kiosk that was built into a new Safeway store at Cabrillo Street and Eighth Avenue. His office forwarded the complaints to city planners.

Apparently the kiosk remains up, but unattended. It does not sell hot coffee, but does stock beans that customers can buy at the register.

City Planner Mary Woods told The Examiner that Starbucks did not file an application to open a kiosk in Safeway. She said the Planning Department would decide within a month whether the kiosk should be treated as a separate business, in which case it should have filed such a permit application.

Now that should be an exciting hearing!

Starbucks kiosk brews ire in Richmond district [Examiner]

The story about the 3,200 bottles of "Calfiornia Champagne" that were seized and destroyed by EU authorities in Belgium seems like a run-of-the-mill customs bust, which it pretty much was. Only this one has an extremely graphic video attached, showing the systematic pulverizing of the poor, poor beverages, who were only trying to pass through nasty old Europe on their way to a cruise ship.

But justice is blind, and in Europe, justice means not selling any beverage as "Champagne" that wasn't actually produced in the Champagne region of France. Fair enough, but couldn't you have given the contraband away or something? Here's the video [Via Buzzed]:

Sparkling Wine Snuff Film [Buzzed]
California Wine Seized in Belgium [Wines and Vines]