There's a new place coming to Cutler Bay called Rumors, A Neighborhood Bistro & Bar on Old Cutler Road. We just got off the phone with one of the owners, Sandy, who said the restaurant will be open on November 12. We couldn't get our hands on a menu just yet, but Sandy did say that the Italian-influenced bistro would offer a variety of foods, with lots of seafood and pasta.

Rumors A Neighborhood Bistro & Bar
20537 Old Cutler Rd, in Cutler Bay
786-242-7774

Rumors A Neighborhood Bistro & Bar [Craigslist]

Sometimes these interesting, sort-of-Miami-related stories end up in our e-mail inbox from newspapers in other parts of the country. Today, however, we got one from Malaysia. About Spanglish.

At any rate, it's written by a man in New York who marvels at fake words like "sheetrockero" and "chansa." But here's the part that interested us:

For example, in Chicago, New York City, and elsewhere, Mexicans and Central Americans have been trained by skilled Japanese sushi chefs. They are called susheros, a new word in both languages, and some of them now run their own sushi restaurants.

Have you ever heard the term sushero? It's possible that the word hasn't taken hold in South Florida kitchens yet. We tried to do a bit of research on other kitchen Spanglish terms, but we didn't find anything interesting. Have you heard any food-related new Spanglish terms lately?

And on another, non-food-related note, the author mentioned one word that he claims originated in Miami:

By 1961 in Miami, “wash” had already become juashanga and meant laundromat, and although Spanglish varies around the country, the verb watchar is common to many regions.

Spanglish and Nuyoricanspeak [The Star]

Ah, Facebook. It's become an invaluable tool for stalking former classmates, all of whom seem to be getting engaged/married now. Each time we logged on this summer, we were greeted by another blushing bride in a veil and white dress. Today, thankfully, we encountered only photos of Halloween costumes, plus several groups for South Florida restaurants and chains that people hope to bring to SoFla. (Note: the links will only work if you're a Facebook member.)

ANDU Restaurant/Bar Miami Fl. FAN CLUB: We blogged about this one before in September; sadly, nothing about the group has changed since then. The same construction pictures are still up, and the same notes about liquor licenses and permits are there. Either something has gone terribly wrong with the restaurant, or the owners are far too busy for the 455 devoted members who keep leaving messages like "Cuando abre esta Wiga?!?!?! I'm hungry!"

Petition to Bring Sonic to Miami: We didn't realize Sonic had such a following. Several of the 117 members complain about seeing the Sonic commercials while being unable to partake of the on-screen deliciousness. (See what a good ad campaign does? The kiddies start clamoring for your product.) One member says that it's worth the drive to Ft. Pierce or Fort Myers for a Sonic; another describes a visit to an Orlando Sonic as "amazing." We've eaten at Sonics before, and while we cannot agree with the "amazing" assessment, we'd like to point out that there's a Sonic in Boynton Beach, significantly closer than the others mentioned.

Flanigans is the best restaurant ever: Members of this group (just 18) "wish that they would open nation wide." Don't they know that quality gets diluted when you're so big?

We want a Krystal in Jupiter, Fl: These poor folks (48 of them) are unhappy that they have to drive all the way to Ft. Lauderdale for a Krystal burger. Best comment left on the wall: "I NEED IT. SO I CAN GET 20 BURGERS FOR MY MUNCHIEEEESSSS."

Karu-Y Restaurant Miami: Not much going on here. The most interesting part is the "Related Groups" section: "Victoria Secret Fan Club," "The French-speaking people who live in Miami and around!" and "I wish my life was a Disney movie!" Don't we all?

We carved pumpkins last night, and we were fairly proud of our effort, which resulted in a happy jack-o-lantern that looks like it's just stumbled upon a basket full of its favorite candies. After doing a few Google searches though, we now feel humbled. Look at that thing! A jack-o-lantern inside another jack-o-lantern! Brilliant. At least now we have some ideas for next year.

Photo: Flickr

Lots of Halloween parties happening tomorrow...

• At the FunKey Nutz, there will be unspecified prizes for the best costumes. Also, dueling pianos (don't they always have that?) from 7:30 p.m. until 1 a.m. No cover charge, and the mojitos will be $6, although it's unclear as to whether that special price is reserved for ladies only.

• Party at The Standard on Miami Beach, where the drinks will be free and the best costumes will be awarded prizes. Party starts at 7 p.m. and ends a mere two hours later. Or maybe that's just when the free booze ends. If that's the case, you should get there early!

• If you're more into dancing on Halloween, head to CocoWalk, where salsa singer Carlos Manuel will be playing with his band. We also heard something about door prizes and giveaways.

There's been a lot of uproar over the state of Florida's health inspections, and to be honest, it's beginning to bore us just a little. The latest news comes from a progress report by the Legislature's Office of Program Policy Analysis & Government Accountability (with such a long name, we're sure the committee actually accomplishes very little). We'll sum it up for you in easy-to-digest bullet points:

• The Division of Hotels and Restaurants, which conducts the restaurant inspections, has made improvements in terms of boosting staff and making the website more consumer-friendly, but more still needs to be done.

• The department needs more money. It can either a) beg the legislature for more money or b) charge offending restaurants re-inspection fees.

• The committee is advising that the agency add 39 new inspector positions for 2008-2009.

So here's a question for all of you readers: have any of you ever tried to look up a restaurant's health inspection records? And how important is this information when you're making a decision to eat out? We have to admit that we don't really think about these things much, probably because we're young, healthy, and blessed with a strong stomach. Let us know what you think!

Florida regulators' oversight of restaurants still falls short [Sun-Sentinel]

We love this man, Jordi Panisello, the pastry chef at Cero Restaurant in the St Regis Hotel in Fort Lauderdale. Nutella-filled beignets, plus hot chocolate, plus chocolate ice cream cookie sandwiches? Yum. And that creme brulee looks unbelievable; I'm really curious how he makes that ball-shaped crust. The apple confit looks lovely too, although we'd take the other two desserts in a heartbeat.

Dessert Masterpieces at the St. Regis Hotel [YouTube]
Cero Restaurant [MenuPages]
Cero Restaurant [Official Site]

• The Coral Gables location of Nexxt Cafe is now open, and it's been pretty busy. [Coral Gables]

• The Hungry Man loves those ham-and-cheese subs at Russo's Submarine Shop. Yum! [Hungry Man]

• We didn't know that "wet" scallops are chemically treated to retain their white, wet appearances. Unfortunately, Paula learned the hard way, with a ruined meal. [mango&lime]

Er, excuse us. We meant a new "upscale Lifestyle Center." At least that's what they're calling it at The Shops at Pembroke Gardens website. We guess that's because it's not enclosed, like a traditional mall. Instead, there will be pedestrian walkways and street parking to make it look like a downtown center. (Will these parking spots on the streets have meters, to further duplicate the urban experience? Because that could get annoying really quickly. One of the pleasures of shopping in the 'burbs is not dealing with parallel parking and meter maids.)

Most of the stores at The Shops at Pembroke Gardens open tomorrow, but the six restaurants — Brio Tuscan Grille, Village Tavern, Stir Crazy, RA Sushi, Brimstone Woodfire Grill, and The Pub Pembroke — won't be open until year's end.

Also, we just realized that the open-air mall is opening on the exact same day that Tropical Storm Noel should be bringing some adverse weather to South Florida. Excellent.

The Shops at Pembroke Gardens [Official Site]
New shopping mall in Pembroke Pines debuts as 'lifestyle center' [Sun-Sentinel]

Here you can see Ted Mendez, the chef at Barton G, making sea bass en papillote. The presentation is pretty crazy: the fish, with the veggies, is served in the same paper bag in which it's cooked, in a basket with a flower and wheatgrass. I guess they're going for the picnic theme. Also, is that really all you have to do to make tomato confit? Who knew it could be so simple?

Cooking with Barton G [Plum]
Barton G [MenuPages]
Barton G [Official Site]

Today we welcome Adam Martin, who has taken over the reigns of the San Francisco MenuPages site and blog. He comes to us from the San Francisco Examiner, where he was a cops reporter for a year and a half; prior to that, he was a cops reporter with a wire service. So he did that job two-and-a-half years. Perhaps we're just not built for the job, but we spent one summer on the cops desk a few years ago and had enough. Adam clearly is a stronger person than we are. At any rate, welcome Adam!

Evidently, they're staying in their summer homes for a while longer. Up until very recently, the weather up the east coast has been mild and warmer than usual, which means grandma and grandpa haven't been in any rush to get down to Palm Beach. According to restaurant owners in those areas most frequented by snowbirds, this October has been slow:

“This is the slowest October we've had since 2002,” Judy Davis, opera singer turned entrepreneur and business owner of Diva Duck says.

Peak time for the diva, between mid-December and Mother’s Day pulls sold-out tours two to three times a day. While it's still more than a month away, not even Davis' opera-trained voice over the loud speaker can fill the seats. But not only are there empty seats on the Diva, but benches and outdoor dining areas throughout City Place are barren. Restaurants and retail stores say snowbirds, aren't flying, locals aren't buying and sales are stalled.

But the good news is that the temperatures in New York have begun to dip below 60, so the retirees will soon make their way south for the winter.

Where are the snowbirds? [WPTV5]

It seems like quite a few California chains are making their way here. Now we've learned of California Tortilla, which offers burritos, fajitas, tacos and quesadillas and has been open in Wellington for a little over a week. Also, the restaurant serves "Mexcellent Deals," although we're unsure what those are. This is the first California Tortilla in Florida, although another one is planned for Coral Springs in Spring 2008.

California Tortilla is located at 2465 State Road 7 in Wellington. They're open Monday through Saturday 11am-10pm and Sunday 11:30am-9pm. We'll have the menu online in another day or so.

UPDATE: Thanks L2M, for pointing out that California Tortilla is not, in fact, from California. We were a bit hasty when we wrote this post and failed to notice that all of the locations are on the east coast. According to Wikipedia, the chain is originally from Washington, DC.

California Tortilla [Official Site]
Quick bites [Palm Beach Post]

• MP: Boston tells us why we should root for the Red Sox. We still refuse to do so.

• MP: Chicago shares five easy ways to go organic.

• MP: Philadelphia tells us about an offensive cocktail involving pomegranate, cardamom and mint. Actually, that doesn't sound so bad.

• MP: San Francisco is on the crime beat this week.

Yep, they're holding a casting call in Miami. (And thanks to Tere for letting us know!). Open call is on Tuesday, Nov. 6 from 10 a.m. until 3 p.m. at Metropole on South Beach. Good luck everyone!

The Next Food Network Star Search in Miami [FoodTastic!]
Metropole [Official Site]

The party this week is at Boston's on the Beach in Delray, where Red Sox fans have been gathering during the team's postseason run. It's a Boston haven in an area dominated by ex-New Yorkers who cling to their love for the Yankees and/or Mets. (Someday, hopefully, we'll be able to call the region "Marlins Country," but unfortunately, as it is now, there's more blue and orange than teal at the stadium formerly known as Joe Robbie when the Mets play the Marlins.) So if you're looking for a good World Series party, we'd suggest heading over to Boston's on the Beach; they can seat 500, so there's plenty of room. Just don't wear any purple.

Anyone know of any Denver-friendly sports bars for those of us who are rooting for the Rockies? (We feel a sort of kinship with fans of 1993 expansion teams.) Let us know in the comments!

Boston fans flock to Delray eatery to get a taste of home [Palm Beach Post]
Boston's on the Beach [MenuPages]
Boston's on the Beach [Official Site]

• Deborah Hartz learns that habanero peppers can burn. We feel your pain, Deborah. After our first incident of handling peppers and then touching our eyes, we purchased a box of latex gloves to keep in the cabinet specifically handling peppers. You only need one; hold the pepper with the gloved left hand, hold the knife with the right and chop. [From the Test Kitchen]

• Paula tries mango pickle and finds it a bit, um, strong. [mango&lime]

• Good authentic Mexican in Miami? Here's one suggestion: Mi Rinconcito Mexicano (1961 SW 8th St). [Daily Cocaine]

• La Parrilla Liberty gets a thumbs up. [The Greg Graham Guide]

We learned yesterday, from the ever-helpful Jan Norris at the Palm Beach Post, that a new gourmet burger chain from California called The Counter is coming to Royal Palm Beach sometime in November. At first, we thought it would be something akin to In-N-Out, but after perusing the website, we're far more excited.

Looks like it's actually closer to Chipotle, judging from the menu [pdf]. We're big fans of the type of menu that offers a few items in a variety of different ways. With this one, you choose a meat, (beef, turkey, chicken or veggie) and a size (1/3 lb, 2/3 lb, 1 lb), and then choose from an assortment of cheeses, toppings, sauces, and buns. Included in the price is one cheese, four toppings, one sauce and a bun. And for those on the South Beach Diet, you can have a "Burger in a Bowl" — a burger without the bun. It looks like an incredibly yuppie place, and you could easily spend upwards of $10 on a burger and fries, but still, it sounds tasty.

Quick bites [Palm Beach Post]
The Counter [Official Site]
In-N-Out [Official Site]
Chipotle [Official Site]

Thanks to some "connections" Chef John Suley, of Cafe Joley, is fortunate to have, South Floridians can be some of the first in the nation to taste fresh white truffles from Italy this year. The first shipment of this season's truffles from Alba landed at only two places in the entire country: Cafe Joley and Masa in New York City. Sure, there will be more arriving in the coming weeks, but for now, only South Floridians and New Yorkers get to enjoy. Here's what you can expect to enjoy there:

"We'll have white truffles on the menu throughout the season. Right now, I'm running a Napoleon of sea scallops, in between each layer of sliced scallop is blanched spinach and white truffle; the sauce is a spinach-brown butter sauce with shaved white truffle on top of that."

He's also got a braised veal cheek with white truffle risotto on the menu. "You never want to get too crazy with what you do with them," [Suley] said. "When you have a perfect food, you don't have to do much to it. It should shine."

Another dish, taken from a recent trend, is spinella - the top cap of the rib eye cut of beef. "They shave the top off; it looks like a flat-iron steak. But the taste is amazing. They're doing it with Kobe beef - that's how it got started. Ours isn't Kobe, but it just melts in your mouth anyway. We're doing the spinella with twice-baked Yukon gold potato, and a truffled sautéed romaine."

First white truffles in Boca [Palm Beach Post]
Cafe Joley [MenuPages]
Cafe Joley [Official Site]

Photo: Flickr

At MenuPages, our legions of users submit reviews regularly for their favorite (and often least favorite) restaurants. Some make it onto the website, others don't. Here, we'll go over the week's best and worst reviews.

It was a busy week in the user review department, which is good. Keep 'em comin' folks! We like to hear what you think about local restaurants. Provided you write coherently, of course. We'll start with the ones that didn't make it onto the site. This one was from Christie for The Whole Enchilada Fresh Mexican Grill:

This place is awsome!!!!!

Sigh. No.

Next up: Erica, who loved Chef Adrianne's Vineyard Restaurant and Wine Bar. Her review is titled "A Little Slice of Heaven in the Hammocks:"

Let me just start off by saying that the meal my girlfriend and I had was hands down the best I have ever tasted. I started off with the soup of the day (Shrimp & Lobster Bisque), then came the main dish free range chicken breast stuffed with cremini mushrooms and provolone cheese drizzled with a madiera-merlot sauce, house-made potatoes, vegetables du jour. My girlfriend is a vegetarian and although there was not an option on the menu the chef was gracious enough to go out of her way to make one. Stir-fried vegetables over rice. Two tips if you go, go hungry the portions are large but so delicious that you will beg for more and please allow time for preparation, the restaurant is made to order. We did not have room for dessert but plan on returning soon to sample more of the menu.

I recently read a review of Chef Adrianne's restaurant that was a bit unflattering from the Miami New Times and I have to say that I am so glad I chose not to listen to the critic because after dining at the restaurant I found that this person has absolutely no idea what good food is or what it should taste like. My advice to him/her is to find another career because it is obvious that after their review food critic is not it.

I have to say that for only being 23 years old and having her own restaurant Chef Adrianne is well on her way down the road of success.

Ugh. We're back to that review again. Seriously people, the review wasn't so terrible. Constructive criticism isn't such a bad thing, especially when you're 23. Anyway, Erica, you kind of sound like a shill, so, sorry, you didn't make it. Although we do commend you for your good spelling and appropriate use of punctuation.

And finally, the review that wins the top award this week, from mialebven on French Kiss:

I really wanted to like this place... believe me, I really do! I love French cuisine and I was hoping this place would be "IT."

The ambience is nice, very laid back in a French cafe style kind of way. It was relaxing, soothing, and everything felt so in-sync, with the christmas lights, French words and motifs and so forth...

Also the service was good. I liked how they also paid attention to the little details - if you wanted water, they give you a big glass bottle of water to share with the table - as if it was a big bottle of Perrier. The wine is a decent deal, as we had a bottle for $24 for a table of 3 - and we all had seconds out of it. I was expecting more mark-up but thankfully that wasn't the case.

As much as they paid to the little details with these things... I wished they paid more attention to the food as well.

The bread starter was good. The French onion soup was also good although I wished they used the baguettes they served for the starter instead of the other bread they put in the soup.

The escargots was soaked in the traditional oil mix. But the oil mix was a bit salty. And the escargots didn't have much flavor itself unless if you were able to "soup" up the oil mix for the needed flavor.

The canard (duck) was a bit too raw, but I still liked it. Still, it was not the best duck, or even close, I've had from a French restaurant. It should have been cooked in another way - this part I can't explain... it just could taste so much better!

The osso bucco was better in flavor, but still, it wasn't right. The sauce was too thick, overwhelming and salty. It was all over the plate, almost making it into a stew, but it wasn't. The mashed potato that came with it helped offset the salty flavor, but it shouldn't have been salty in the first place.

And the dessert, flan, was okay. I'm Latin... my mom makes better. 'Nuf said! I wanted the creme brulee but they ran out.

All in all, I'm still on the hunt for the "perfect" French restaurant in Miami (without breaking my bank of course)!

Very helpful. Thank you mialebven!

Two reviews for ISHQ today! Both Victoria Pesce Elliott [Miami Herald] and Lee Klein [New Times] visited the Indian restaurant on Ocean Drive. This doesn't happen too often (usually the two reviewers will visit the same restaurants within a week or two of each other, but rarely on the same day), so we're going to have fun with it. We present Klein (hereafter referred to as LK) vs. Pesce Elliott (VPE) on Ishq: The Showdown.

• We'll start with the name. VPE tells us it means "passionate love" in Hindi. LK tells us it means "love," although he doesn't get to it until the seventh graf. But LK gives us a more important piece of information in the very first sentence: a pronunciation guide (ish). We'd been pronouncing it ishk. Nerdy aside: ishq is actually borrowed from Arabic, and the Arabic spelling has a 'qaaf', or ۊ, at the end, so in that language it is pronounced with a hard 'k' sound at the end. Apparently not in Hindi though. Unless LK is wrong, in which case the point we're about to give him would be taken away. Anyway, +1 for LK.

• Next up: description of decor, ambiance, etc. VPE mentions that "most of the seating is outdoors beneath market umbrellas," while LK explains that of the 145 seats at Ishq, 131 are outdoors under said umbrellas. Basically, if it looks like rain, Ishq may not be a good option. Advantage: LK.

• According to VPE, you must "insist -- even beg -- for extra spiciness to get any real heat at all," but LK didn't ask for any extra spiciness and was brought to tears by the heat. Either LK can't handle any heat or the kitchen is very inconsistent in this department. Either way, we're arbitrarily giving this point to VPE, because we like people who like really spicy food.

• VPE mentions the many good, moderately priced wines on the list and mentions "exotic cocktails." LK says nothing about the wine list, but describes said cocktails in detail. Drinks: even.

• Point to LK for alerting readers of hidden costs. Rice is extra ($3.95!), as are chutney, raita, pickles and chapati, which are usually complimentary at Indian restaurants. Here they're $2.95 each. Yikes!

• Point to VPE, for making note of the many vegetarian options.

• Point to LK for using the word "tetrahedron" to describe a samosa.

• The writers disagreed on a number of things, but they both made a point to mention the wonderful desserts. So we'll call this one even.

Winner: Lee Klein, 4-2.

Indian on Ocean [New Times]
Ishq feeds the passion of Indian-food lovers [Miami Herald]
ISHQ [MenuPages]
ISHQ [Official Site]

• Ten years later, Himmarshee Bar & Grille is still going strong. That whole fried yellowtail snapper sounds really good. This is the problem with reading so many reviews; now we're hungry. [Miami Herald]

• Emerald Thai in Davie is a good neighborhood place with great curries. [Sun-Sentinel]

The Miami Herald's website is having some serious issues this morning, so we're starting at the top and working our way south today.

• Frederick's Island Boys Conch and Ribs has moved to a new spot, one without any wheels under it. Yep, they've sold the trailer and opened up at the old Hurricane Grill spot on 25th street in West Palm Beach. [Palm Beach Post]

• You can dine like a master of the universe at Six Tables in Boca Raton. And after reading the review, we are so ready to make a reservation. Now. [New Times]

• A lukewarm review for Phyllis G's Enigma in Delray Beach. Best option: skirt steak and flan. [Sun-Sentinel]

Thanks to a tipster on Chowhound, we learned of a new pizza place coming to Miami Beach. But get this — it's from France. La Boîte à Pizza (the site gives a pronunciation guide for we uneducated Americans: Lah-Bwat-Ah-Pizza), currently with locations in France, is expanding to China and North America by the end of 2007, or so the website claims. Three locations in Shanghai are planned, but so far, there's just one in the US — at 1679 Alton Road in Miami Beach. According to chowhound 2top, it should be opening in early November.

The Chinese and American sites aren't ready, so we decided to poke around the French one, and the image that greeted us — of a pizza topped with what looked like ground beef, tomatoes, onions and a fried egg — was truly revolting. Also, the sombrero and cactus aren't promising.

We present La Boîte à Pizza's three newest recipes: the fajita pizza, the Mexican steak pizza, and the pizza burger. We checked out more of the site, but unfortunately our Spanish and Portuguese skills are insufficient to decipher long paragraphs of French. We can, however, make out most of the menu. Perhaps we're too much of a purist, but seriously, does pizza really need curry? Or smoked salmon? Or the contents of a fajita?

A co-worker just came over to help us translate some of the menu items we couldn't understand. Her comment was "The French make terrible pizza." Another co-worker said "It can't suck more than French Tex-Mex." Well dear readers, at La Boîte à Pizza, you will be able to taste French versions of pizza and Tex-Mex. At the same time. We cannot wait.

La Boîte à Pizza [Official Site]
Anything new or coming to Dade? [Chowhound]

As many of you who surf popular food websites know, Advertising Age ran a story on Monday about how the fact that more moms are opting out of the workforce and choosing to stay home would affect the restaurant and supermarket businesses. Here's a brief excerpt to get you all caught up:

The decades-long rise of women in the work force -- and the related rise of meals bought from restaurants -- has ground to halt and begun to reverse since the turn of the millennium. The numbers have gotten little attention, and they fly in the face of conventional wisdom, but their ramifications are huge for restaurant, supermarket and food marketers.

Women's participation rate in the paid U.S. labor force topped out at just above 60% in 1999 and again in 2001 but has fallen since then, according to the Labor Department. Restaurant meals, fueled for decades by the migration of moms to the work force, also topped out at 211 per person per year in 2001 according to NPD and likewise have been bouncing lower since, hitting 207 this year.

For restaurants, it means an end to a demographic gold mine that fed decades of growth. For supermarkets, it means a reversal of a trend that fueled decades of decline and may even help savvier operators gain an edge in their long-losing battle against Wal-Mart. And for package-food companies, the trends offer a chance to gain ground on restaurants for the first time in decades.

We read this with a bit of skepticism — we don't doubt the numbers of women opting out of the workforce, but we do doubt the premise that restaurants will be hugely affected by this. It seems Charles Passy agrees with us; he blogged his reaction yesterday afternoon:

While I have no doubt that the number of women in the workforce exerts some influence on restaurant-dining habits, I doubt it’s the key thing. For starters, the last decade or so has seen significant growth in the cooking culture — just look at the Food Network overall and Rachael Ray and her 30-minute meal shows and books in particular. That surely has gotten many more people in the kitchen.

But we also think that in the end, this isn't going to take a huge chunk out of the restaurant business. We think that this renewed interest in all things culinary doesn't just apply to the home kitchen; restaurants are hot too. And though sales may dip a bit, we're not returning to the 1950s, when mom made almost every meal and eating out was a special treat. Dining out is so much more a part of everyday life, and we, at least those of us in urban areas, have become too accustomed to the variety that restaurants provide; mom can't be expected to master every cuisine. In the long run, the restaurant business is going to be just fine.

More Moms Staying (and Eating) at Home [Advertising Age]
A Restaurant Owner's Worst Nightmare? [The Hungry Man]

Raw kale. Doesn't sound too appetizing, right? And this from a devoted eater of kale.* But according to this article in the New York Times today, if something on the menu sounds really unappetizing, like raw kale, you should order it, because the chef wouldn't dare put it on the menu unless it were really, really good.

THERE are some restaurant dishes that I order because they sound better than everything else on the menu, and there are some I order because they sound worse. My reasoning goes like this: If a chef dares to offer something as unappealing as, say, a raw kale salad, chances are it’s fantastic.
I’ve played this game at restaurants all over the world, with mixed results. But when I score I score big, with a perspective-changing moment that can inspire pure glee.

*Our preferred method of eating kale: take one can of white beans, sautee them in garlic and olive oil, and then spoon over steamed kale, finished with a little sea salt and black pepper.

If It Sounds Bad, It's Got To Be Good [New York Times]

We received this today in our inbox. We'd never realized there was such a philosophy behind the Jetsetter Lounge, but well, apparently there was. After about two years, the owners had to close their doors, although they seem hopeful; perhaps they'll re-open in a new location.
Jetsetter Lounge [MenuPages]
Jetsetter Lounge [Official Site]

• It appears that karaoke had once left the FunKey Nutz, but it has now returned. On Tuesdays (that's tonight!) at 8:30 at the dueling piano bar in Boca Raton, you too can sing loudly and poorly into a microphone.

• Costume party! Naturally, as it's getting close to Halloween. The Falcon House in Delray Beach is hosting its sixth annual costume party on Saturday. The best costume wins a $100 gift certificate.

• There will be another costume party at Nicole's Village Tavern in Wellington on Saturday as well, with drinks and dinner specials, dancing and, of course, a costume contest. Prizes are unclear. Oh, and the appetizers are free after midnight!

We enjoy writing about grouper, mainly because it gives us an excuse to post really awesome grouper photos, like this one. (We should note that this grouper actually lives in the Coral Sea, off the coast of Australia, so you won't find him in our Atlantic waters. Still, it's a grouper, and we couldn't resist posting it. Look at those teeth!) Grouper is a big deal down here, and lately, because of the skyrocketing price of the fish, most "Florida groupers" on menus have been found to be frozen imports or, worse yet, imposters.

Florida's attorney general's office has been investigating restaurants since late last year, but now they're going after the big guys: the wholesalers. It makes sense, given that each restaurateur can't be expected to send fish to a laboratory for testing. The subpoenas for records are flying left and right: for Sysco Food Services-West Florida (the largest supplier), eight smaller suppliers, and Applied Food Technologies, the lab where most of the fish are tested.

In August 2006, the St. Petersburg Times published DNA tests on grouper from 11 Tampa Bay restaurants. Six turned out to be other species, including a $23 "champagne-braised" grouper that was actually tilapia.

Within weeks, the Attorney General's Office opened an investigation and tested 17 restaurants, finding an even higher rate of bogus fish. Other Florida newspapers and television stations followed, sampling restaurants with similar results.

Some of the nongrouper, like the Asian catfish, represents deliberate substitution, whether by the importer, distributor or restaurant.

Other fish, like much of the Sysco-supplied "grouper," are species that swim side-by-side with Asian grouper, are hauled up in the same net and thrown into the same box.

Many restaurants that sold fake grouper had invoices saying they bought grouper. They had no way of knowing it wasn't, they insisted, which is why the state's investigation has expanded.

We will, of course, keep you posted on any updates from the attorney general's office, and we guarantee a scary-looking grouper photo each time.

State: Fake fish inquiry expands [St Petersburg Times]
Grouper, And The Fish That Want To Emulate It [MP South Florida]
Grouper Sandwiches: Disappearing From A Menu Near You [MP South Florida]

Photo: Flickr

• Need help sifting through the dozens of steakhouses in Miami? The chowhounds can help. [Chowhound]

• Apparently fried shrimp is common in strip clubs. You learn something new every day! [Daily Cocaine]

• Paula gets 15 minutes with Govind Armstrong of Table 8. [mango&lime]

We swear this man was not paid by MenuPages to promote the site at his one-man show. Apparently he derives great pleasure from reading the user reviews, which, we admit, can be amusing sometimes (and he doesn't even get to see the ones that don't make it onto the site!)

We were browsing through some photos when we stumbled upon this plate of deliciousness from Versailles. It doesn't photograph well (Cuban food can be monochromatic), but just look at all the fried goodness: there's vaca frita, our favorite (though we're partial to the version at Havana Harry's), with congri and fried plantains. Definitely not a balanced meal, but certainly a satisfying one.

Versailles [MenuPages]
Havana Harry's Restaurant [MenuPages]
Havana Harry's Restaurant [Official Site]

Photo: Flickr